Posts tagged "mother-daughter relationships"

About Moms, Kids, Teens

Diane Gold 2017 Boca Raton World Tai Chi Day

by Diane Gold on April 18, 2016.

Our main essay is an invitation to and details about tai chi and 2017 Boca Raton World Tai Chi Day with Diane Gold.

Also in this issue….

Dear Organic Produce Retailer

by Diane Gold on June 28, 2016.

Our main essay is a letter to my organic produce retailer describing the hoops I have to jump through just to find out what’s on my food before I buy it.

Also in this issue….

What’s On Your Produce – Part II

by Diane Gold on June 7, 2016.

Our main essay focuses on our food supply, which is our very life force and the idea that we do not consider, rebuff, teach about chemicals we place on that supply.

Also in this issue….

Learning How To Learn: Our Biggest Mistake

by Diane Gold on March 10, 2015.

Our main essay talks about learning how to learn, the mistake we make by not teaching the process as soon as we start school.

Also in this issue….

Nut Milk Made Easily

by Diane Gold on February 10, 2015.

Our main essay talks about nut milk making it ourselves. There’s a recipe that’s easy, peasy.

Also in this issue….

Turmeric In The Modern World

by Diane Gold on July 29, 2014.

Our main essay is about turmeric, its benefits and its patentability and why drug companies don’t study what they can’t patent.

Also in this issue….

Patient Rights vs. Doctor’s Orders

by Diane Gold on July 15, 2014.

Our main essay focuses on patient rights and how our accepting doctor’s orders is not in our best interest until we’ve researched options and been given choices.

Also in this issue….

The Habit Of Eating Meat May Be Hurting Us

by Diane Gold on Mar. 11, 2014.

Our main essay is about the habit of eating meat and what consequences come from that.

Also in this issue….

Food Labels, The Next Generation In Nutritional Data

by Diane Gold on Mar. 4, 2014.

Our main essay talks about the Food And Drug Administration’s proposal to update food labels.

Also in this issue….

Quitting A Habit!

by Diane Gold on Feb. 25, 2014.

Our main essay talks about the the term “quitting” as it applies to habit change.

Also in this issue….

Healthy Eating: Why Does The U.S. Fall Behind?

by Diane Gold on Jan. 28, 2014.

Our main essay talks about the United States is not number one in healthy eating and why.

Also in this issue….

10 Habit Change Mistakes Educated People Make

by Diane Gold on Jan. 21, 2014.

Our main essay talks about habit change mistakes. We all tend to make them when we don’t ground ourselves first.

Also in this issue….

Habits In Medical Care-Part 3: Ready For Change?

by Diane Gold on Jan. 14, 2014.

Our main essay is the third installment of habits in medical care.

Also in this issue….

Are You An Enabler, Codependent On A User?

by Diane Gold on Nov. 26, 2013.

This week, our main essay talks about being an enabler, someone so wrapped up in a user’s behavior, it’s bad news for both people.

Also in this issue….

Pesticides: Which Fruits-Veggies Have Least?

by Diane Gold on Nov. 12, 2013.

This week, our main essay talks about pesticides and includes two consumer guides to buying produce with the least amount of residue.

Also in this issue….

6 Great Reasons For Plant-Based Nutrition

by Diane Gold on Nov. 5, 2013.

This week, our main essay gives 6 valid reasons to consider plant-based nutrition.

Also in this issue….

Is Sugar Good For Our Health?

by Diane Gold on Oct. 29, 2013.

This week, our main essay talks about sugar and whether it is good for our health.

Also in this issue….

The Habit Of Gratitude And 100 Ways To Feel It

by Diane Gold on Oct. 22, 2013.

This week we are publishing our 100th Issue, which means we are celebrating our Second Anniversary. Therefore, we have a special main essay which is a list of 100 things that may make us feel gratitude.

Also in this issue….

3 Habit Changes That Turn Sickness Into Health!

by Diane Gold on Oct. 14, 2013.

This week, our main essay offers three habit changes that turn sickness into health.
Also in this issue….

The One Secret To Habit Change: Get It And Use It!

by Diane Gold on Sept. 30, 2013.

This week, we bring you the one secret to habit change.

Also in this issue….

The 5 Biggest Mistakes Of Habit Change

by Diane Gold on Sept. 23, 2013.

This week, we bring you THE mistakes of habit change that seem universal to humans. From these come the commandments to change a habit.

Also in this issue…

Demystifying Traditional Chinese Medicine

by Diane Gold on Sept. 16, 2013.

This week, we bring you the highlights of our interview with George Love, Doctor Of Oriental Medicine who demystifies it for all of us.

Also in this issue…

Can Gut Microbes Help With Weight Loss?

by Diane Gold on Sept. 9, 2013.

This week, our main article focuses on a study about gut microorganisms as a possible technique for weight loss.

Also in this issue…

Reading Food And Supplement Labels: How Habits Form

by Diane Gold on Aug. 19, 2013.

This week, our main article focuses on food and supplement labels and how we form habits as a result.

Also in this issue…

Habit Masters; We Are

by Diane Gold on Aug. 12, 2013.

This week, our main article focuses on the idea that we are habit masters from all the training we have given ourselves with various life behaviors. There are 12 proposed action steps.

Also in this issue…

Health Care Costs: Statistics And Solutions

by Diane Gold on Aug. 5, 2013.

This week, our main article talks about the cost of health care. There are 11 possible action steps.

Also in this issue…

Are You Liberated? And What That Means For Habit Change

by Diane Gold on July 29, 2013.

This week, our main article talks about personal liberation and what it means for habit change. There are 10 action steps.

Also in this issue…

Supplements vs. Pharmaceuticals: The Comparison

by Diane Gold on July 8, 2013.

This week, our main article talks about some of the differences between supplements and pharmaceuticals, including a quote from Dr. Jaroslav Boublik.

Also in this issue…

The Supplement Game: Are You In It?

by Diane Gold on July 1, 2013.

This week, our main article talks about taking supplements at the expense of learning to eat well.

Also in this issue…

hr />

Habits In Medical Care: Part One – What Certificate Is That?

by Diane Gold on June 3, 2013.

This week, our main article focuses on habits obtained regarding medical care.

Also in this issue…

Why Change A Habit? Your Legacy Awaits

by Diane Gold on May 27, 2013.

This week, our main article focuses on why to change a habit and how that ties to our legacy.

Also in this issue…

Changing Food Habits: Are You Eating GMOs, Organic Foods Or …?

by Diane Gold on May 20, 2013.

This week, our main article focuses on changing our food habits as we have more knowledge of GMOs (genetically modified organisms) and foods that are labeled “organic.”

Also in this issue…

Education And Parenting: How To Build Good Habits

by Diane Gold on May 13, 2013.

This week, our main article focuses on education and parenting, dedicated to all of us who have nurtured someone or something in this life.

Also in this issue…

The Grade Game: Successful Habits In Education

by Diane Gold on May 6, 2013.

This week, our main article focuses on using grades to measure success in education.

Also in this issue…

Women As Slaves: How To Change This Habit

by Diane Gold on Apr. 8, 2013.

This week, our main article focuses on women as slaves and how we change this habit.

Also in this issue…

The Gender Issue

by Diane Gold on Mar. 4, 2013.

This week, our main article talks about the gender issue as it relates to women.

Also in this issue…

Dancing For Weight Loss: A Fun Way To Firm It, Move It, Remove It

by Diane Gold on Nov. 26, 2012.

This week’s main article is about using dancing for weight loss with 5 action steps from which to choose.

Also in this issue…

Declaration Of Tolerance For School Agers: Kindness Is Cool

by Diane Gold on November 19, 2012.

This week’s main article is about a Declaration of Tolerance, a program that should be present in all school environments to establish harmony and understanding of individual differences.

Also in this issue…

3 Feelings That Can Cause Teen Girls Weight Gain Plus Unique Solutions And Food Tips For Each

by Diane Gold on October 29, 2012.

This week’s main article discusses 3 feelings that cause teen girls to weight gain including solutions in the form of action steps and food tips for each.

Also in this issue…

Why Green Tea Can Help With Teen Weight Loss And What’s In It

by Diane Gold on October 22, 2012.

This week’s main article is about green tea for teen weight loss. There are action steps for both daughters and moms.

Also in this issue…

Will Power For Weight Loss And Other Goals: 3 Steps To Jump Start It

by Diane Gold on October 15, 2012.

This week’s main article is about will power for weight loss and other goals. It ends with 3 steps to jump start your will power that can really make a difference.

Also in this issue…

Teen Weight Gain And Sugary Drinks: A Closer Look

by Diane Gold on October 8, 2012.

This week’s main article is about teen weight gain and sugary drinks. How shocking that sugary drinks are the largest single caloric food source.

Also in this issue…

Weight Loss For Teen Girls: 5 Quick Appetite Tips

by Diane Gold on September 10, 2012.

This week’s main article is for teen girls. We give 5 quick tips to pick up and use today for the growing teenage girl having a hard time with weight.

Also in this issue…

Motherhood: 5 Common Mistakes (2 Seen in Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds)

by Diane Gold on June 18, 2012.

This controversial article on Motherhood looks at some of the mistakes that we commonly make, all of which influence our daughters.

Also in this issue…

Diane Gold’s Interview With V. Mark Durand: The Highlights

by Diane Gold on March 26, 2012.

This week’s main article has highlights from my interview with V. Mark Durand, PhD. I am a big fan of the simplicity of his techniques since they lead to profound success in communicating with our daughters, ourselves and our families and friends.

Also in this issue…

How Is Parenting A Challenging Child Like Trying To Lose Weight?

by Diane Gold on March 19, 2012.

For the next two issues, we are pleased to bring you world renowned psychologist, V. Mark Durand, author of Optimistic Parenting. This week, we have his article equating parenting a challenging child and losing weight. Next week, we will bring you highlights from the interview we did with him.

Also in this issue…

Mother-Daughter Anti-Communication And How To Fix It

by Diane Gold on March 12, 2012.

In our main article is based on a story about a mother and a daughter. Their type of interaction is the very reason I started The current segment of their relationship could be part of most mother-daughter struggles and is a very difficult hump to get over. In our main essay, you will get a glimpse of my consulting program in action as today’s action step(s).

Also in this issue…

Coaching For Experts: A Resource For Moms And Their Daughters

by Diane Gold on November 28, 2011.

It is brave for us moms to consider being coached. Why? Because we are supposed to be experts, know how to do “it,” and getting a coach could negate our perfection. Or would it show our willingness to grow and evolve?

In this issue, there is discussion about the merit to being coached once you have reached expert status. There is a list of what points to look for to enhance your personal development.

Also in this issue…

Mother-Daughter Anti-Communication And How To Fix It


by Diane Gold

Angry GirlIt is the difficult interaction between mothers and daughters that requires all the courage in the world. The way this mom and daughter are communicating can be classified as ANTI-COMMUNICATION. Not all families experience it. Most do. But there’s no mistaking it when it starts to break down and erase effective human interchange. Every word exchanged or action shared sets the other off.

The cause is always internal to the individual, although it feels as if a razor gun is being pointed at us by the other person at the moment of deepest struggle. This very human tipping point occurs when neither the mom nor the daughter speaks to communicate. Each speaks at each other with anger, frustration, bravado, hurt, resentment, exhaustion, despair, disappointment, sadness. (Writing this brings back many memories of my speaking cruelly to my mom because of my own weaknesses. I don’t know how she handled it, other than that she was my mom and it was her job of love.)

True, the mom is the adult and authority and, according to one assessment, is the one who chooses whether to fix the situation or not. But this is often easier to say as an outsider that when it is happening in our lives right then and there.

Because there are so many people struggling with their daughters, I am going to include below an excerpt from my new consulting package.

Upon first glance, it looked as though the mom in our story is at her breaking point because she yells (or rages) instead of mediating in response to her daughter’s tantrums. But let’s take a closer look at why this is. This mom works 10-hour days, 6 or 7 days a week, has no support from and difficulty with other family members, has no health insurance which might help to pay for counseling, has other financial challenges which most of us have and is dealing with her daughter’s maturity, puberty and rebellious nature, common in the teen years.

The daughter has her school frustrations, issues with extra weight, also so common in puberty, fights with her sibling and is a latch key teen whose parents do not come home from work until 9 at night.

As one mom said when asked what she would do to help the communication between the mom and the daughter; she would sit down with the daughter and tell her what the rules are today. I agree with this. and believe that the rules that the mother wanted had not been clearly outlined to the daughter before the problems started. Now that the difficulties are here, clarification is one of the best strategies.

If the mother-daughter relationship is volatile, it is highly unlikely that the daughter will sit with the mother unless another program is brought in that is run by a third person. Eventually, the daughter will trust the mom again, especially when the mom shows that she will give up ultimate control, temporarily, for the sake of her daughter.

That’s where my step-by-step consulting program comes in.

The following information is an excerpt from Diane Gold’s Step-By-Step 24 Consulting. By reading this, we ask that you not take pieces of this program and use them. Either use the whole sequence or don’t use it at all. It is simple, involves a consultant or third person for accountability and accuracy and requires faith in self.

Furthermore, if you choose to read it, we ask that you not repost it. Also, please report how the experience goes by leaving comments using the feedback info below.


1) Both mom and daughter agree to include a consultant, middle person or mediator and no other person shall be present in a beginning consult. A professional with experience is preferred, even if it a volunteer.

2) Both mom and daughter agree to have this consult at a table outside the house or work, even if it’s in a public library or a beach picnic table. It is preferred that the table be 3 feet or more wide and 5 feet or more long.

3) Both mom and daughter agree to answer, honestly, questions about themselves.

4) Both mom and daughter decide whether to be recorded so that they can review their session, learn from it, remember it and pass it on to help others.

5) Mom and daughter agree not to discuss the specifics of this consult or anything about the program, itself, with any other family member or friend or school mate until directed to by the consultant, other than that she is involved in a special consulting or counseling program for a week. The reason for this is that not every family member or friend will agree with the technique, and the decision to go ahead with it should be the decision of the mom and the daughter. No one else. Therefore, no comments from anyone can be helpful at this point. And objections from others will be hurtful.

For those families who tell each other everything, I want you to think back to the time that you didn’t tell the family about the abdominal gas you experienced from the spicy food you ate last month. This will make you recognize that you don’t share everything and that there is a time and a place for optimal sharing. Once there is success, there will be time to share.


1) Mom and daughter commit to work very hard to let their interactions with other family members be separate from this very special interaction with each other. They will both do this by a hand shake or hug each morning or night.

2) Mom and daughter commit that for this one week, shorter or longer as decided by joint decision of mom and daughter, no added questions will be asked other than those written into the program.

3) When times get tough, mom and daughter will remember this is only a one week commitment with the right to quit at the end of the day. But during the day that is committed, follow the protocol.


1) No interaction is left to chance, so all rules must be followed. Everything is planned to result in specific, civil interaction with clear progressive outcome so that there are no misunderstandings and so that both people agree to and know the new rules.

2) Mom and daughter will carry matching notebooks with this printed information in it and a pen with which to write. Both will have them available at all times (not left in car or school). The notebook must be completely blank and unused to start. No exceptions.

3) Mom and daughter will refer to the rule page every time when interacting at the specific time of day or for the specific activity.

4) Mom will buy daughter an alarm clock if she doesn’t have a working or loud enough one, teach her to use it and watch her daughter demonstrate that it works.

5) Mom will give up the responsibility of waking her daughter and transfer it to her daughter. She will require her daughter to wake up on her own. If daughter does not get up on time, she will miss her breakfast which is scheduled at a specific time in 11) below or her bus or both. Mom’s (who have a car) will drive daughter to school only 1X a month for missing the bus because of getting up late.

6) Mom commits to her daughter, even though she doesn’t have to, that she will say please when she gives a command, to show respect to the daughter.

7) Daughter commits to her mom that she will acknowledge the command by saying, “I don’t like this, but I will do this for you, because you are my mom and I respect you.”

8) Mom and daughter will not yell for the week of the program. Each can dream about the end of the week when she can yell, if this helps. When/if one person makes a mistake and yells, the other will put up the index finger as a reminder of this commitment (vertical only, no pointing). The mom will accept this behavior from her daughter as part of the week of training and consider that it is not a disrespectful act. The one who is not yelling will ask the following questions of the one who is yelling. If both are yelling, use the 1-2-3 shoot method or the dice method in 16) below to determine who asks first.

a. What emotion are you feeling that made you yell?

b. How long ago in minutes did you start feeling it?

c. What was one good thing that happened in your day, today?

9) No blaming words will be used at any time. When one of you finds the other blaming, the one who is not blaming will raise the index finger as reminder described in 8) above and ask

a. What emotion are you feeling that made you use blame words?
b. How can I help?

and declare

c. I respect you.

10) Mom and daughter will not whine or complain during the course of the program. When either feels the need to do it, she shall write it down in her notebook with the date, time, feeling she is having and reason she thinks she is having it.

11) Breakfast will be served at ___ o’clock. Breakfast will be over at ____ o’clock (20 minutes later). These blanks are to be filled in by the mom. Daughter will be required to be at table at this time if she wishes to have breakfast. Mom will choose and prepare breakfast which will be cleaned up promptly at the closing time. No exceptions.

12) Lunch will be prepared by daughter the night before to take to school. No lunch money for this week. Having the daughter take responsibility for her lunch will get her to plan ahead and see the consequences of not doing it.

13) If Mom works late and daughter is home alone, mom will
a. call her daughter at 4 o’clock (or when daughter will be home from school) to ask

i. How the day went

ii. What homework she has.

iii. What future tests or work she has.

iv. Tell her she loves her and is happy they are working together.

v. Tell her what snack is available to eat.

b. Call her daughter at 6 o’clock when mom will ask daughter to make her lunch for the next day (so that daughter can help out financially by saving money, even if the family does not have a financial hardship), plan what she would like available for the next day’s dinner and ask her to eat dinner.

c. Mom will call daughter at 8 o’clock to see whether she has cleaned up after dinner and to see whether she has made her lunch.

14) Daughter will

a. Respond cheerfully when mom calls.
b. Wait for those 3 times to speak to mom, unless she has an emergency.

c. Ask mom how her day was.

15) Daughter is responsible to do her homework.

16) Mom and daughter will decide whether or not to continue this program for another day in step 15).

17) At end of day, mom and daughter will step outside or go into a basement, garage, park, quiet room to ask each other 2 questions and say 1 affirmation. Each will listen to the words of the other. No other questions may be asked about this process during this week.

a. What did I like about the way we spoke to each other today?

b. What did I learn about myself today?

c. I affirm that I am ready to work with you tomorrow.

The person who answers first will be determined by the 1-2-3 shoot method, extending 1 finger or 2. The daughter wins if the number is odd. The mom wins if the number of fingers is even. Or, if inside, roll the dice if you have real ones or go to: and use the six sided ones.

18) If mom and daughter are finishing the 7th day, mom and daughter will decide together whether they wish to continue to week two.


When we are so entwined in getting through the day, we sometimes forget about respecting each other and sometimes take each other for granted. No matter how bad our mother-daughter situation is, we are family. It is our duty as parents to see the light at the end of the tunnel and to lead our daughters there. We would protect them with our lives against an attacker; we must also endure the pain of forming them and reforming them again in the harder struggle of day-to-day living.

I was extremely fortunate that my mother forgave everyone immediately if needed and started each day with a clean slate. I live this way because of her. I don’t know how she survived my difficult behavior, which was much worse than a lot I have seen. But she was a mom. And she championed through it for me. (Thanks, Ma.) She also reached out to a support structure of professions for help.

Part of the forgiveness that we may need includes listening to our children’s ideas and frustrations even though we are so tired that we think we will drop. It also includes setting up a structure for our children right now, if one has not been set up beforehand or if that one has fallen apart, so that our children have a framework from which to live. As much as kids like to be independent, they need a foundation from which to be independent.

Part of the forgiveness children need may come from seeing their parents as human beings. This is pretty hard before you are a parent.

As the above set of techniques indicates, one step at a time can do wonders. When we answer questions about ourselves, we are directing ourselves away from slanderous talk about the other in the relationship and allowing the other to get to know us. When we follow through on goals for a day at a time, we have a great chance of succeeding at them and, ultimately, learning new ways of relationship building.

There are many free services available in the United States for getting help. If you don’t have the time to find them, please contact me and I will try to help. Watch for the opening of, where you will be able to take advantage of our one week trial and our entire consulting package. It’s an excellent program that will allow you to feel in control, powerful and bonded with your daughter. Get ready for this package. We will help you with an advocate for the program, too. May the force of one step get you to the next.


Mom, awesome and strong

This piece is dedicated to my mom, Gertrude Gold Koplowitz, and to all the mothers and daughters out there who are having a hard time making sense of their relationship with each other. There are many ways we can get along with happiness. We just have to work together to find them.


Please leave your comments below and follow us on Twitter at WarriorsOWeight.


Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Moms For Healthy Daughters, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a consultant in music and stress and a dedicated mom. She has seen untapped powers become available in the name of love. She says, “We must place our frustrations in a box outside the door and access our reserve strength in the name of helping and saving our daughters.”