Posts tagged "habit change"

Habit Change In One Step


Habit Change In One StepHabit change is alive and well. It happens every day, whether we are aware or not. The techniques we used to change habits years ago (I’m talking ten or a hundred or a thousand) are the same ones we use today. How this is possible is that the basic core of our psychology has not changed. We, humans, are who we are, and we react the way we react until we mold ourselves int humanitarians. New techniques are packaged differently, but they end up drawing from a small pool of possibilities that remain the same.


The habit is a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition. We do it almost automatically. We have done it so many times that it no longer requires step by step thought.

As we know, there are several kinds of habits: 1) personal, 2) social (I am adding this one as of 2017, rather than combining it with the first) and 3) universal. They intertwine, but one affects our own body, another affects our self-perception and others. The other affects the outcome of the world.

1) Walking and exercise are personal habits. Once we have mastered them, we just do them! We no longer falter or wobble. We have trained our mind to focus on the activity and our environment; we have trained our muscles to perform the tasks.

2) On the other hand, there are flirtations with others we have developed to produce companionship or personas we embody to seem as if we are wealthy in the presence of the wealthy. For both of these, there is a fine line between habit and individual behavior. Sometimes, though, we act one way so often that it becomes “the” way we act. And, in this case, it is a habit.

3) Then we have prejudice or our habit of automatically going to war to fix conflict. These are universal habits. Once we know them, they are ours to own. We have trained our minds to embrace these habits. Every occurrence strengthens the habit. No matter how we came upon it, whether we were raised that way, hurt by someone of a particular group and turned our discomfort to the whole group, or told not to be a wuss so we lashed out; we have developed it.


The good news is that habit change exists in ONE STEP. Have methods changed? Not really. Why? Because we still develop a habit the same way as one thousand years ago. The habit might be chronologically telling, but habits become ours through reacting to a trigger whose behavior gets us a reward, and repeating the reaction when triggered.

The simplest technique, and the one I always advocate, is based on the shortest road to success. The One Step Method (just beginning with the first step) is here for habit change. It’s always been there. Many have used it for many years without announcing they are using some technique to change a habit. Most have just responded to their trigger (a trigger such as an urge for something sweet, an urge to call someone an ethnic name, an urge to our protective of our country) by doing a new behavior over and over again. The result was that the urge for the sweet turned into an action to go eat a salad instead of going to eat ice cream, the urge to name call turned into self-reflection, the urge to protect the country turned into creating a framework to cause harmony rather than war.


Habit change in one step requires courage. We have to create a plan of action, immediately. Here are three behaviors as examples of what we might want to change with an action for each.

1) PERSONAL HABIT. If we want to combat eating ice cream when we crave sweets, our step would be to prepare salad with a few raisins, grapes, strawberries in it (this is an example) so that it is ready for eating upon our next urge. The same holds true if we desire a drink or a drug. We need to prepare a behavior beforehand, such as running around the block and saying hello to one neighbor. This running action will change perspective. It will give us a moment to see things other than our own existence, since we will be out in the world.  Eating the salad may also be a solution to change the urge to drink or drug.

2) SOCIAL HABIT. If we get the urge to fit in and act something other than we are, our step would be to prepare a one-line greeting that does not reflect someone we are not and reflects who we are. Instead of saying how much fun we just had at OUR country club (if this is untrue), we might say, and this takes guts,

“I spent a lot of time in self-reflection.”

And working on habit change is, in fact, self-reflection. This rehearsed statement would also be a way to remind ourselves we are working on ourselves. And once we repeat the new behavior enough, our trigger of being false to impress will change into something new, possibly one that urges us to relay who we really are.

3) UNIVERSAL HABIT. If we want to combat our urge to slur someone of a particular ethnicity, we can create a sentence we will immediately text to a friend,

“I want to make an ethnic slur. Can we talk about this?”

This act will satisfy the urge to take action upon seeing the particular ethnic person. It will not hurt anyone, and it will allow us to discuss this anti-social urge with a friend. Eventually, this self-exploration will cause our urge to change

Planning is the key action step. We have to be ready for our own selves because we have loads of habits, and all behaviors are triggered by the need for some reward. Let us prepare to elevate ourselves. Habits do not have to rule us. If we take a moment to temper ourselves, we realize we are in charge of habits and habit change.


Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, has been a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, has been a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying peaceful conflict resolution, habit replacement and has been certified in plant-based nutrition.

She believes in habit change. She says,

“When we have a method, we make great strides. When we randomly proceed to succeed, we are missing the very step that is required to create or re-create a habit: repetition. Using the one-step method is the simplest way to go. It allows for one pointed focus. No matter what.

“Think about it. Take one step. One step might not be simple, but it is less scary than two steps. And it is a success story in itself.

“Let’s consider that we can habit change. We choose when.

“By being aware of this, we can be kind of protective of ourselves and our fellow beings at all costs – and we are all always worth it.”

The Secret Of Habit Change Is To Step


By Diane Gold

The Secret Of Habit Change Is To StepThe secret of habit change is to step. No one’s saying it’s easy. I am saying it’s not complex. I don’t care how many times we’ve heard the idea that we have to believe in ourselves to motivate or have a positive mental attitude to get it done; it’s just not true. It may be an easier road, but that may not be our reality. And, once we step; we will believe and motivate.


It’s easy to walk through the tunnel when there’s money waiting for us at the other end.

It’s easier to get started when we have a partner with which to work or a coach screaming,

“Let’s go, let’s go,”

in our face.

It’s pretty simple to take a positive step when our world is balanced and clean.
But, these conditions are not necessary.


On the other hand, It may not be so easy to take a step different from the one we have the habit of doing should this habit be huge and not supportive of what we are doing. Definitely, we automatically think it’s not easy.

It’s not so easy to make a change when we are in pain of any sort is present since pain diminishes power in each of us.

It’s not so easy to walk in a new direction when everyone else is walking the other way.

It’s not easy to step when we are tired. And if we have been working on replacing a habit for a long time, the energy we have consumed in thinking about it and doing things about it can make us very tired.

And, it’s not so easy when most people tell us we have to endure some multi-step process that is more than one step. One step is hard enough.


The Secret RealityThe secret reality is that we can take a step even when:

1) we have no motivation to self-change,
2) we don’t believe in ourselves,
3) we have no personal balance,
4) we are in pain,
5) we cannot find joy in our lives.

Look at these examples of how people use other focii to get them to take a step, proving the 5 conditions are not necessary.

1) Military and religious personnel commonly refrain from cigarettes, the object of their addiction, during training runs or services.

2) Many religious practitioners in addictive behaviors refrain from their addiction on their Sabbath day, because they place a higher value on their God belief system than they do on their body’s need for a substance or activity. Many people in addictive behaviors refrain from their addiction for a few hours of church time, valuing the God system over the addictive reward.

(Unfortunately, there are some people in addictive behaviors who do not refrain on the Sabbath day but value a God belief system second. Most God belief systems include guilt for not valuing the belief system more than the object of addiction. Therefore, this scenario means guilt fits into the particular equation.)

Delay Using Their Object Of Addiction In Trade For A Future Reward3) Some clinical trials have had participants delay using their object of addiction in trade for a future reward of a possible heightened amount of their substance of choice or getting a small amount of money.

There was one such clinical trial in which trial participants were given a choice: abstaining for a longer period of time than others with the promise of a chance of getting more of their object of addiction at the end of the daily protocol. This meant the participants might not get the enhanced amount of their object. Even so, most chose abstaining longer with the chance of receiving the enhanced amount of stimulation.


More Comfortable Living ConditionsMotivation to change, self-belief, balance, pain and joy do not enter into these scenarios. Commitment to military protocol or a belief system has caused people to delay the object of addiction. More comfortable living conditions have caused people to delay getting the object of addiction. And finally, the concept of the thrill of receiving an increased amount of the object of addiction was an excellent motivator.

The big picture is that the secret of habit change is to step, make that move, move the foot over the line. That’s what it takes. Only to step! That is the secret.

It must be done with expediency since we only have a short time to step. Otherwise our old behavior will surface, and we will get lost in it. I can hear the quiz show music where the clock is counting down. I couldn’t have pictured that when I was in the middle of struggling to replace a habit, since I would have been busy with my urges. All I could do was step. That’s all anyone has to do.

Let the secret of habit change out in the open. Just step!


There is only 1 action to be taken. Within 5 to 15 seconds of receiving the urge to take the action that usually gets you to your object of addiction, step. Even if you take 1 step in the direction away from the door that holds the object of addiction and then run right back to your object of addiction; that can be considered a successful step. Maybe tomorrow you will take one step. And then another, before you run back to your object of addiction. This, too, is a success. There Is Only 1 Action: Step!

Please consider these words. Any 1 step in a new direction is a success. Rome was not built in a day. Your habit was not built in a day. Be patient. But step. To change a behavior, always take 1 step in a new direction from your old one. Until you’ve done that, don’t worry what’s next.

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Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition, peaceful conflict resolution and habit replacement.

She has looked at what worked for her. She says,

“Without immediate action, I do my habit, whatever that habit is. If I act, in any direction other than the habitual one, I begin creating my new habit. The next time I feel my urge, I will be experienced at taking immediate action and may walk further in any direction other the habitual one. As I cement my new habit through repetition and consistency, I will continue using the new direction.

As I see it, it is not important to process whether I like the new direction for, at least, six months. In fact, it is important to choose not to consider whether the new direction is right for, at least, three. This way, I give myself a chance to take a step.”

“Finally, let us all take good care of ourselves because we are so worth it!”

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The Number One Method For Habit Change


By Diane Gold

Before we reveal ”The Number One Method For Habit Change” for free, in this very article; let’s look at habits, in general, to understand how many we have and the potential simplicity of changing them.


Our habits are either personal or non-personal. We all easily identify with habits and actions that relate to ourselves, since we are usually quite concerned with ourselves: whether we can or cannot control our eating, drinking, drugging, picking, blinking, speaking. These habits are physiological or mental and connect to our senses, rather than related to ways we act toward the outside world.

Non-personal habits define how we act toward our environment through repetitive actions passed down from families – political agendas, belief systems, what paper towel brand we use, what is acceptable to wear, eat, the way we were brought up to speak, the way we do or do not speak with people on the street or in our neighborhoods, listening to certain music because that’s what we’ve been exposed to, the amount we allow ourselves to dance in public, our understanding of social customs of our area, the way we treat others, the way we resolve conflict, whether we are first to help or wait for the crowd to do it first. These are all external to our own personal habits. They influence them and cross over into the personal, but they are outside them, for the most part.

Both personal and non-personal habits make us who we are. Although we will focus on the personal, the number one method for habit change is the same for each.


Appearance Affects Habit ChangeWe develop habits based on how certain actions make us feel. Whether we wear designer clothes, keep our hair immaculate or stay fit because we enjoy people’s staring at us; we act out behaviors regularly to achieve these good feelings, aka rewards. The cue, which is the original feeling that makes us do a behavior urges us to work so we have access to buy clothing, get our hair done, so we look how we like. This urge also pushes us to work out so that our bodies look good, which gives us the end result: the reward of having people acknowledge our beauty. Appearance

Clothing To Make Us InvisibleThese are only examples of appearance habits we may have. There are others of us who specifically wear clothing to make us invisible, since we don’t like it when people stare. And there are others of us who do not consider what people think; they are busy with their own lives and work.


Quite often, our habits become founded in the urges we feel. By acting out a certain behavior, we can receive a hormonal rush of happiness. Because we want to experience this “reward” again, we repeat the same behavior to get it. That’s how habits begin, with repetition.

The craving, urge, cue, whatever we call it, that drives us to behave a certain way can be a similar feeling no matter what reward our end product (the result of our action) achieves. Whether we eat a yummy food, take a tranquilizing drug, drink a drink that makes us tingle, play a card game that thrills us; we are seeking the end delicacy that our hormones produce.


As may be common knowledge, once we have a habit, it belongs to us. Like gene expression, it can be dormant or active. We don’t unlearn to ride a bike, and we don’t lose our blue-eyed chromosome that may express itself in our children, even though our eyes are brown. When we turn social drinking into excessive drinking, we own it. That doesn’t mean we have to express it in the future.

Habit In The ClosetWhen we choose to change one of our habits, we replace the habit that was there with a new one. The old one is still there, but it is a “habit in the closet,” so to speak. As long as we are doing a new behavior and not opening the closet, the habit will stay put. For as long as we choose. Habit In The Closet

So the big trick to creating a new way of acting is SPEED, not the drug, but the swiftness with which we act after a cue. We have to be ready starting now for the very first cue that comes that has previously made us do the habit we want to change. From now on, we must replace this action within 15-30 seconds of getting that cue so that the mind doesn’t have a chance to intervene.

Immediate Action Required

Once we have made the decision to do something different, that is, change a habit, we can remember,

“Immediate Action Required.”


That’s the simple answer to what could seem a monumental issue. Rather than struggling with “not” executing an act we have done over and over again, like giving in to our desires that lead us down a path we want to avoid, we take our attention and our bodies to a new place, a new action and, therefore, a new, but rewarding, outcome.


1) As soon as the almighty urge shows up that sends us to get our reward, IMMEDIATELY DRINK WATER, TWO GLASSES AT ROOM TEMPERATURE. Bam! That’s it.

2) OK. That’s not exactly it for some people. We may need another action to lead us to the reward we want which is to look good, feel good and, ultimately, change our habit. We may need to VERBALIZE that we have had the craving out loud to another person or people.

Of course, if we have an appropriate friend, we can tell the friend. If not, we can tell a stranger. It’s surprising how many people want to listen to what we have to say, even if we just know them from shopping where they work. Naturally, we can reach out in social media, but this digital admission does not give us the same mirror reflection that telling a live person gives us.

We may be afraid, nervous, embarrassed to admit our urge. That’s fine. That has nothing to do with taking the action. We have plenty of time after we admit our urge to be afraid, nervous, embarrassed. As long as we take the action of saying it out loud first. This works best if it is done within 5 minutes of drinking the water.

If you’re near the beach, tell a lifeguard. If you’re in-city, tell a librarian. If you’re on the farm, tell a fellow farmer. The worst that can happen is that you will be judged by someone else. Most people are not qualified to make a judgment, so the judgment would be like someone not liking the color of your eyes. Those who are qualified to judge who make a negative judgment about someone’s decision to change a habit lack the compassion and humility that are found in a quality human being.

Think about it. What’s worse, not changing a habit whose time has come or the possibility of embarrassment? The obvious answer is not changing.

Granted, it does get tricky when we have children and they will be heckled in school. In that situation, it is time to trust the children and speak to them honestly.Focus

3) Here’s a quick step in not being embarrassed. FOCUS on discussing your urge and on doing the new behaviors. When you are finished drinking water and verbalizing, you will have time left to be embarrassed. Or you may feel the power that comes with self-help.


What habits we develop depend on who we are, what we decide and our body and mental chemistry. Not every person raised in luxury with servants and dinner parties has the habit of overdrinking. Not every person raised in poverty who gambled in the park to feed her family lets gambling take over her life when other financial opportunities appear. The number one method for habit change works universally.


When we are ready to change a habit, this is the process:

Contract With Self1) Make a contract with self to replace a behavior for a day or a week. The contract must include the action step to be taken immediately upon having the craving that starts the habit process in motion (such as when the urge to drink alcohol or eat a cookie comes; drink water, not alcohol or drink water, instead of eating a 3:00 pm cookie).

2) Take the contracted action step immediately every time the urge shows up, starting immediately. It’s only for a day or a week. You can un-contract yourself at any time after the first contract or renew it. Your choice.

3) Be consistent with the contracted behavior every single time you feel the craving or you start to think about it. It’s only for a day or a week, whichever you have chosen.

Once this process is completed, you have the choice to renew the contract or stop. The choice for changing a habit is yours.


If this process does not work the first time, it’s okay to start again and again.

If someone says anything about your habit change question, it is not important. What is important is to do the action steps. That’s it.

Believe You Can Do It!


It is not necessary to believe you can do it to succeed. What is important is to act. By doing so, your belief in self will arrive, while you are changing your habit. You will believe when you see what you have done.





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Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition and habit change.

She believes we complicate. She says,

“Simplify, simplify, simplify. When we make things so complex, we miss what’s right in front of us. When we have one choice, we take it. When we have one road on which to walk, we walk it. The habit change process outlined as ‘The Number One Method For Habit Change’ proposed to do just that: offer one choice and one road on which to act out the choice.

“When we look at one thing at a time, we just might accomplish our goal. So let’s make a contract, act on it and repeat the actions for the contracted duration. That’s all we need, and that’s plenty.”

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The Manipulation Of Evidence-Based Medicine


By Diane Gold


AgendaIt is always a good idea to trust, to believe the next person, give credence to what we read, being astute when credentialing who’s saying what and knowing what authors are attached to an agenda other than truth is present.

This means it’s important to keep in mind,

“Everybody wants a comfortable lifestyle, but what are you going to do for it? Where do you draw the line?”

said by Brad Murawski, a computer specialist from Troy, NY, familiar with scams and hacking, when polled by GfK and AP about trust.

I think most people want to live clean lives, where we would be proud to tell our children every decision we have ever made. But egoism and greed can lead us to deceive, omit and distort. And once we’re in the habit of doing our habit of ego and greed; we’re doing our habit of ego and greed.

How many times have we convinced ourselves that:

1) because of all the work we do, it’s okay to falsify the hours we invoice to a client,

2) because of all the money our employer makes, it’s fair to take home office supplies or make copies of our completely unrelated creative project using company copiers,

3) if we support someone’s project, that someone will support ours; so, it’s acceptable to support what we don’t believe in.

The last of these is the most common way that medical information gets corrupted, as far as I can see.


Evidence-Based MedicineEvidence-based medicine is the use of proof or high quality information and research in medicine, the science of prevention, diagnosis and treatment of a disorder of function, often called disease. Factual testing is used to assess benefits and risks of specific treatments prescribed by learned people in the medical field. How many times does one academic support another’s study, body of work, thesis – even overlooking its controversy – for the primary purpose of getting support back, be it money or editorial byline?

Documentation Based On ScienceWe, especially in the Western World, but common everywhere, have developed the habit of believing that, if a clinical trial has taken place, if a certified doctor has uttered it, if a governmental agency assigned to evaluate and cure illness has said it, if our pharmaceutical companies claim it (since they are so very regulated by the FDA and other government agencies), if it’s published in a medical journal; the information publicized from this event must be ethical, honest, conscientious, and, most of all, clinically based. This is a strong habit that we have been repeating since we were young, having been taught to trust doctors, nurses and other medical personnel as well products from the wonder drug companies whose breakthrough can cure disease.

The term, evidence-based, is the current term for irrefutable proof, documentation based on science. What has happened out of greed and ego is that there is not one body of standard regulators whose job or future job does not depend upon their regulating. There is not one standard for study parameters; when articles are published, publishers take big money to print; when drugs are approved or in process, pharmaceutical companies working with academic institutions hire ghostwriters to write favorable reports so that the FDA will be encouraged to approve and doctors will be convinced to prescribe medicines based on what can only be called marketing.

How can evidence-based medicine not contain flaws when doctors and researchers are beholden to drug companies: for their continuing education, for the perks that drug companies give them – like hotel and air fare to conferences. Some doctors even work for the drug companies instructing other doctors in what drug to use. (Does your doctor take money? One of mine does, and he doesn’t believe what he teaches is influenced by his paycheck or end of year bonus based on number of prescriptions written).


Data SourceMedical professionals incorporate information of the latest experiments and trials along with their own research, college research and academic experience to make decisions.

In all circumstances, we are presuming the information in our tool kit has been derived through truthful, ethical and legitimate means. It comes to us as follows:

1)    In reputable medical journals;
2)    Through academic research reports;
3)    By lecture from professionals and speakers at conferences;
4)    Through summary of a research abstract;
5)    Through reading the entire published article if there is time for the whole read and if we pay to subscribe to the publication;
6)    Through promotional marketing materials publicizing a drug or technique;

Clinical Trials7)    From  pharmaceutical representatives, whose companies often times are the sponsors and controllers of the clinical trials and the data published.
8)    Socially at lunch or golf with colleagues;
9)    Across the dinner table at a family of doctors or medical professionals.
10)  At monthly or quarterly lectures given by doctors who are paid by pharmaceutical manufacturers.
11) Through media attention to failed patients who are damaged or die as a result of information withheld from unpublished clinical trials.
12) In medical schools that get large funding, possibly enough money for entire laboratories, from various pharmaceutical companies.

We, the medical community, are given much opportunity for bias. We, the public including the student, are given much opportunity for bias. How do we know where the evidence is based?


We, humans, and medical personnel in particular, pick up information when we hear it, because we are investigative. We have a habit of listening to information, even when we are not listening to it and, as astute individuals, will remember random information even if we are not able to remember where we heard about it. This phenomenon can lead the best intentioned professionals to validate or parrot information that has been disseminated for marketing purposes or that has no clinical protocol attached to it.

The same happens to plain, old non-medically trained individuals. We hear a commercial on TV, and, if it’s catchy enough, the brand being advertised sticks in our mind. Or a doctor has samples of various products that we see lying around the office, so we believe the product must be good. Or one person has her treatment paid for by a pharmaceutical company and it works; as happens often, that person shouts out her success more loudly than the 100 people who had adverse reactions to the same treatment.

Medicine, one of many typesOf course, it is possible to hear about a one-shot treatment occurrence that absolutely saved a patient’s life that was paid for by a company or whose marketing is the reason we heard about it. And, if we are this patient, we are thankful and ecstatic and swear by this one single, random, non-duplicable effort because it saved us and we live. This is a dangerous way to get information, though.

But, in general, we use the data sources listed above and our own good judgment thrown in. If we are not employees of the research sponsor, which can be the pharmaceutical company or the university whose board members are on both boards or connected to someone with a financial interest; we will rarely have access to unpublished research information, since all of it belongs to the originating sponsor as part of the sponsorship arrangement. We will also not know how accurate the investigative reporting has been.


AccuracyWe come back to trust, which, as we’ve said, is good. As long as we add in all the factors that can bias evidence, we can evaluate whether the results of the evidence-based medicine we so cherish have any basis in profit or furthering political careers or paving the way for employment at a pharmaceutical company.

Should we conclude that the research in front of us was conducted for the purpose of furthering humanity, we can hope for the best and still judge for ourselves. Most studies start out with good intentions, and the researchers involved usually demand pure science. But research costs money, and sponsorship usually comes with promises of non-disclosure and the sponsor’s ability to change study parameters that will manipulate the data.


Medical ResearchThere is lots of medical research both in academia and in companies in the pharmaceutical industry, from medical student projects, from already working doctors and medical professionals that is outstanding, amazing, monumental, life changing, life saving, cooperatively integrated with every other discipline that exists, evidence-based for real with no prejudice based on agenda that is the pure truth. Our arms go out to you in thanks, praise and commendation. Keep up the great work. We are counting on you.

But there are those of us who, because we wanted a better life, to send our kids to a better college or just because we wanted the money for the research that we love to do, crossed that line.


If the line concerns the safety of human lives, such as having knowledge of unpublished trials that prove a negative reaction in humans;

1)   Please consider crossing the line back over to the right side again. If we are a company or an academic community, do we not want to show our children how to be good citizens? If we are individuals, do we not want to be the examples our children will follow?

The manipulation of evidence-based medicine exists. But the truth seekers are also here.

2)   Let us continue to strive for knowing the difference, difficult as it is, and to encourage the line-crossers to cross back over.

We have all (well, most of us, anyway) crossed some line, whether it’s been to embellish on a resume, let a research student do our research to which we put our name, or whether we took a job with an unethical company.


We owe it to each other to keep medicine clean so that the principles of evidence-based medicine can prevail.


3)   Let’s be aware of factors that can taint, and let’s be good examples of truth.

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Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition and habit change.

She believes in people’s ability to be truthful and ethical. She also knows that habits can make us who we are not. She says,

“Be trusting, but be diligent. Know people for the emotions they possess.

“We all have feelings that can trap us or not, depending upon how we control our habit mechanism and our desires. There is never really a steadfast good reason to be dishonest. When our children are starving, we may choose to steal bread. Other than this desperation, we are responsible for truth.

“We know people who have chosen medicine started out to help their flock. Let us point them in that direction again and be diligent in seeking out true evidence-based medicine.”

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10 Habit Change Mistakes Educated People Make


By Diane Gold

With regard to habit change, we don’t start out by saying,

“It’s time to make 10 habit change mistakes. Or 5 or 1. Oh, boy. I’m ready to make those mistakes.”

Habit Change MistakesOf course, we don’t. We have every intention of carrying out our newly designed plan that we’ve been considering for some time. We have the motivation, and we know all we have to do is,

“Do it,”

so we’re going to start. What goes along with this commencement is an understanding of what goes along with the method we have chosen.

Here are 10 habit change mistakes and the action steps we can take to dissolve them.
With a good foundation, we can stay on our path and avoid these common mistakes.


Every mistake is an opportunity, no matter who we are. And most times, we would do well to substitute the word opportunity for mistake.


Run right out and join a gym challenge.

What’s great about this is that action was taken. What stinks is that we didn’t prepare our minds for the task ahead. Our path is our path. A gym challenge is a competitive race and, although, infrequently, we can get the ball rolling for our motivation effort, most of the time, looking at the way others train allows us to miss our own rhythm and causes us to fall off the wagon and stop the process.


a)   Realize that you are your own person.

b)   Keep your mind on your work. Although we have been taught to judge, taking the time to judge yourself slows you down, is wasteful and is unnecessary.

c)    If you absolutely have to judge or compare, only look at yourself: compare yourself today to yourself tomorrow.

d)   Have a fun time.


Start an exercise program doing 3 hours on the first day

When beginning an exercise routine, it is crucial to be consistent, energized and motivated. Tempered training is best, meaning that every day, the same amount of work is accomplished. Or overwork may lead us to walk away from the exercise program.


Specific Amount Of Timea)   Commit to a specific amount of time to will work daily or every other day for one week, no changes.

b)   After week one, decide to continue for 1 week, 2 weeks or 3 weeks.

c)   Commit to the same amount of time or a new amount of time. Do not pick an amount of time that will strain your mind.



Start consuming special weight reduction pharmaceuticals or supplements with the idea that there are no side effects during the regimen and after stopping.

Everything we ingest in our body affects our body and chemistry. Weight loss supplements have the added disadvantage of developing a tolerance in their consumer, requiring an increased dose after a short time. The other hindrance is that when we use an external apparatus to change, we don’t make a lasting change in ourselves.


a)   Start a 1 daily one minute exercise program. This will motivate further work that will act as a catalyst for a lasting good habit.

b)   Carry out this daily program for at least one week before you take the weight loss supplement. This will give you the best chance not to take it. When we change ourselves, we change ourselves. When something outside us changes us, we have not changed, and our weight loss will not sustain itself.


ResearchUse a supplement without researching its research and realizing that the referred to research isn’t public, is disorganized, was done using inconclusive method, doesn’t exist, is too old, was mismanaged, was word of mouth, used evidence-based information based on a control group of 30 people on which all world info is based, was gathered by the manufacturer and publicized in a magazine published by the manufacturer.

(sound like any pharmaceutical products you know where the manufacturers may not own the journals where their trials are published but whose board members play golf and vacation with journal publishers, academicians and government regulators, the last of whom will most certainly ask colleagues in big pharma for a consulting job when s/he has done enough favors for them as a regulator?)

Since supplements are not regulated by the FDA, supplement labels are allowed to say,

“Proven effective by medical science,”

without citing the proof. Hoards of products carry similar labels for the purpose of selling product and having us believe in research that may or may not exist. Data on each ingredient may be secondary information, meaning that the manufacturer got the data from some other company which is not the direct supplier from whom they got the ingredient.

Drugs that are FDA approved have their own flaws. And drugs that may be approved for weight loss for bariatric surgery patients may never have been tested on non-bariatric surgery patients, but doctors prescribe them anyway. This is called off-label prescribing. So, do the research after the FDA, also.


a)   Eliminate one food that is not good for you one time a week, and hold off on starting your supplement for one week.

b)   Call customer support at your supplement manufacturer, and ask them to point you to the research on each of their ingredients. They will balk, say hold on, come back and read from a sheet they have been given about allergies. At that point, ask them to reach out to their Research and Development Team to get links to the necessary public information. Be patient. It takes a while.

c)   Look up the side effects of each ingredient in your supplement, and evaluate your risk.

d)   Look at the comments about the supplement online, and see whether any of those come from a researcher. If not, evaluate accordingly, and keep digging.

e)   Repeat a) once every 72 hours until you get an answer. It may take a year, but keep companies accountable by following up persistently.


Decide to lose weight and stop eating.

Obviously, we need our nutrients to be well. By eliminating our meals for the sake of weight loss, we are putting our body at risk. Instead,


a)   Do 2 stretching exercises, each for 30 seconds before drinking water in b).

b)   Drink one- or two-12 oz . glass(es) of water before eating each of 6 half-size meals a day.

c)   Leave a little bit of each meal on the plate.


Decide to lose weight, stop smoking, quit alcohol and drugs, stop gambling all at the same time.

One-Pointed FocusWe need one-pointed focus to embark on any strategy. It’s hard enough without our giving ourselves scattered mind.


Commit to one area for habit change, stick with it for a month or two. Then, look at changing another.



Decide to take time off from your work to do everything in 6).

Keeping the regular routine, including work, helps us habit change. Often, we need distraction from thinking about our old reward. Work helps this.


Don’t stop work or your regular routine.  Just begin your strategy.


Forget to look at your nutritional intake as a responsible factor for cravings, anger, depression, hyperactivity.

What we put in is what comes out.


a)   Do some research on the food that you eat and drink.

Nutritionb)   Eliminate some sugar, salt, oil and animal fat every meal.


Depend upon a buddy system for doing your habit change without doing personal development.

Buddies are great, but we need to change ourselves along with whatever else we are doing with our buddy. That way, if/when the body system goes away, we will stand on our own with our new habit intact.


a)   Do tai chi or some other mind/body work along with your habit change.

b)   Go to your library and help a non-reader read.


Not join a mind/body or straight body program because you are waiting until you have lost weight, gained weight, stopped smoking, lost your flab, quit alcohol and drugs, stopped gambling.

Waiting until … is a mistake. Do it now, whatever it is. Put the ego in the closet.


MeditationJoin a gym, a dance class, meditation session now, even though you don’t want people to see the many rolls of fat you have. Waiting means not progressing, so go, go, go today!


Look at your special curves that you might want to reduce or your wrinkles you might want to tighten, and say to yourself,

“You look mahvelous!”

And truly mean it. Because you are.

See if any of the 10 habit change mistakes above sound familiar. Use the action steps to avoid them, and plan habit change for life support. We need to be rooted to embark upon habit change that will last. All we have to do is prepare the mind.

Prepare The Mind

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Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition and habit change.

She sees the myriad of people who jump into habit change without grounding themselves. She says,

“No matter our education, no matter our common sense; if we don’t prepare our minds for our task, we can easily get side tracked. I’m not saying we have to go to an ashram to center ourselves. I am saying we have to settle ourselves in some way before we make a decision that will have lasting results. Otherwise, the decision may be perpetrated by a tornado of feelings and our poorly built foundation may begin to crack.

“All we need do is take a pensive moment. This will help us to avoid most of the 10 habit change mistakes we have covered and maintain the habits that are suitable for our lives.”

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Habits In Medical Care-Part 3-Ready For Change?


By Diane Gold

This article looks at 7 habits well ingrained in our standard behavior in those of us who have put our faith in the medical care system without realizing the pitfalls and the dangers and before examining the outcome. Its purpose is to highlight our automatic acceptance of these behaviors and to offer alternative options to anyone ready for change.

1)   Depending upon a primary care physician and giving up our personal responsibility for our care.

Personal ResponsibilityIn the previous article in this series (June 24, 2013), I mentioned I was still looking for a primary care provider. I have found her. It is I, an unlicensed, non-medical person who knows a lot about nutrition and mind, body, spirit fitness. So far, I care the more about my own care than anyone I have found; I don’t treat myself like just another chart; I know the details of my case without having to look at a chart which is brief, at best; I have done research on nutrition and fitness and body processes and interactions that no medical personnel I know has done.

I work on always being open, as I believe it is a great way to live. But I am responsible for myself and count on specialists for specific parts of my body. Shouldn’t we all be responsible?

2)   Having to pay for a 2nd doctor’s visit to get the results of the diagnostic tests whose prescription we paid to get at the 1st doctor’s visit.
When we have a question, we must make an appointment to ask the question: unless we have some type of concierge version of a relationship with the medical pro. In days to come, it is likely that we can use telehealth (virtual medicine) to get our question answered. Of course, we will pay for the medical pro’s time in school, cost of school, cost of overhead including office staff, whether face-to-face staff or virtual, and medical expertise.

Telehealth Medical Appointment Although I am looking forward to the day when all medical professionals offer  electronic consults, the telehealth-telemedicine industry is already having us form a new habit, should we choose to accept what it is pushing. Their business model saves provider overhead, saves the government emergency visit costs for patients who get government subsidies, but the patient pays the same as before. As are many infrastructures, this one is abusive.

The televisit might be no more than 50% of an actual face-to-face visit if we were taking into account there are no office to clean, no employee needed to meet and greet, no sterilization of instruments and no need to prepare an office for the appointment. Further, more of us would be happy not to have an in-person visit if our virtual encounter cost less. It doesn’t. Why would it not, except that the industry has made a pact not to train us patients to pay a non-reduced cost?

3)   Taking doctor recommended drugs from doctors who are paid by the pharmaceutical companies to prescribe.

Pharmaceutical CompanyDoes your doctor work for a pharmaceutical company? Did you know that some are commissioned to recruit patients for a new drug, getting paid per each head brought to the study? They are also trained to educate other doctors about the possible benefits of the drug so that other doctors will recruit patients to take the drug. Don’t know for sure, but I suspect that the educating doctor gets a cut of the stipend that every other doctor gets for bringing patients to the study. If this is the structure, it is multi-level marketing which I firmly believe in. But, in medicine, might there be agendas pushing prescribing techniques?

Just like the pharmaceutical rep I met the other day, the doctor paid by big pharma has been trained by the pharmaceutical company on the merits of the drug. Had s/he seen all the trials, even data of patients who didn’t finish or on patients who dropped out because of side effects? Makes us wonder.

4)   Accepting that doctors don’t get to see the full data on drugs they prescribe.

Summary Of AbstractsDoctors and health professionals only get to see a summary of abstracts or the full abstract if they pay for a medical journal subscription that houses the abstract. The abstract is some editor’s summation of facts which may not reflect study results. How weird that drug study results are not open to patients. We’re the ones who have to decide to take them or not. These data are also not open to doctors. Should we just say,

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you, ma’am,”

when told to take a drug when we don’t even know whether evidence collected shows its merit or not?

5)   Accepting that the drug administrator in our country permits pharmaceutical companies to hide drug trials from doctors and patients.

6)   Not being told, in advance, the cost of what we are purchasing at the doctor’s office.

Full Explanation7a) Not being given full explanation before a procedure is done at a doctor’s office so that we can decide whether we agree to have a procedure done.

7b)  Not standing up for ourselves and asking for full explanations at a doctor’s office before we have a procedure done.


We all have habits in medical care. Whether we are aware of them or not is another story.

The way to better ourselves is to notice how we treat ourselves and notice how people we pay in the health care system treat us. We deserve good treatment. This may mean changing our habit.


These action steps require that we be our own advocates. It’s not as hard as we may think. And, many providers will be willing to talk and change, should be we bring our concerns to their attention.

1)   Study how the body can be made to be healthy, and do this for the rest of your life.

2)   When you call the provider’s office to get the results of your test, have the provider fax or email you your results. Then you can decide whether a follow-up appointment is necessary.
Ask your medical provider if  you can confer by email and what it would cost.

3)   Ask your provider if s/he is in any way affiliated with the pharmaceutical company of any drug prescribed.

4)   Ask your provider how much data she has read on any drug she suggests. Ask that she get that data to you for your review. This does not mean the insert inside the drug box or the summary of any abstract that is available online.

5)   Call the drug administrator in your country, and talk about how you want drug trials to be public, not proprietary.

6)  Call you provider a day before an appointment. Request of the front desk that they tell you up front what your responsibility will be for the visit. This may mean they have to call your insurance company to find out what your responsibility for payment will be. I they say you have to wait, you can tell them you would need to know this information before you go to the appointment.

Understand The ProcessIf you have no insurance, ask the provider’s office person for what you will be responsible if you have a routine visit, an x-ray, anything else commonly done in your type of provider’s office. Of course, the office person will say s/he won’t know until afterwards. At this point, mention that you are asking for the cost for an office visit and 3 x-rays. If you don’t have the x-rays, you can deduct that amount. Also, if you have no insurance, request of the office personnel that they request of the provider to be permitted to pay the allowed amount paid by people on an in-network insurance plan. Sometimes, they will have mercy. But, if you don’t ask, you’ll never know.

7)   Tell your provider that you are always interested in a full explanation of anything that s/he wants to do so that you will feel more comfortable with the process. Be clear the provider knows you have full confidence in what she is doing but wish to understand the process before it happens. That way, no ego gets bruised, and you can still decline the procedure once you understand what it is.


Be aware of how many habits in medical care we have. We can change them today to support our lives.     Awareness

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Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition and habit change.

She believes we are responsible for our health and its treatment. She says,

“When we allow a medical provider to work with us, we are giving opportunity. True, we are also fortunate to have the benefit of such a person, especially if we find a caring and competent provider.

“But part of our responsibility, as I see it, is to ask questions about every step of our medical care and to inform all providers how we want to be treated. Otherwise medical professionals will not know that we want discussion and disclosure and may not realize we wish to approve or disapprove what is being suggested.

“The more we speak out, the more medical professionals will feel comfortable talking to us instead of at us. If we stay silent, care providers sometimes think we don’t want to participate in our own medical life. So, make it known that we want to be very much involved in all procedures.

“If we’ve never asked questions, habit change is in front of us. If we have been expressive about our involvement in our own medical care, it’s always great to reinforce a good habit.”

<span style='color:#2919f7;'>Habit Change: Our New Year’s Resolution</span>

Habit Change: Our New Year’s Resolution


By Diane Gold

Habit change, New Year’s resolutions, success. That’s what we want. That’s what is possible. Whether we want a total make-over or a tiny change, now’s a motivating time to make it. This begins with a tiny plan, 1 step and repetition. Along with this, an inventory of our own personal foundation is in order.


Our FoundationWe, as humans, have a variety of requirements. To be at our best, we need a balanced infrastructure to support us. The simple version of this concept is that we need great nutrition, a little exercise, a way to be creative, love and companionship, daily relaxation, enough rest and a place to do this in. Each of us has a little bit different make-up and needs more or less in each of these areas, depending upon who we are.

Great Nutrition

GREAT NUTRITION – this means getting most of our enzymes, vitamins, minerals, phytonutrients from food, not supplements, with little or no pesticide present. Hard to do in an age where we use genetically modified seeds that live through toxic pesticide sprays so that we get maximize crop yield for maximum profit, without regard for the damage the sprays and the genetically engineered seed do to our bodies.

DAILY EXERCISE – this physical fitness can be anything from stretching to walking to climbing stairs to bicycle riding.

CREATIVITY – being creative can range from telling a joke to writing a letter to mixing an album. When we communicate with others in a way where we are expressing our own uniqueness, we are creating.Companionship


we are social creatures. Reaching others is truly important for us.


DAILY RELAXATION – although we see the need in others, sometimes we leave out this all important area of what’s necessary to keep us whole. We would never think of skipping our daily hygiene. In the same way, we need to keep our insides clean through some type of calming activity. Daily.

ADEQUATE REST – can anyone relate to having gotten too little rest? I start to fall apart most quickly without just the right amount of rest. And that makes sense, since we are like machines with electrical signals for our brain and our heart. We need to recharge ourselves regularly and completely to work well.

Sometimes, we take these beauties for granted. They are important to upkeep so that our habit change, New Year’s Resolution, whatever it is, will have a leg to stand on, so to speak.


No matter what we want to change, if our foundation is solid; we will do well. This means if we monitor our nutrition, exercise, creativity, companionship, relaxation and rest; we have a super chance of breezing through our task. Our New Year’s resolution may, in fact, be in one of the areas mentioned.


One-Pointed Focus

As with any goal, it’s important to apply one-pointed focus and go in one direction. Once 1 step is taken, then another comes. So often, we attempt 2 things at once before we have an understanding of one path. So nothing gets done because our attention is not exclusive. Here’s another factor that might help.




The way we perceive things makes the difference between bewilderment and understanding, collapse and success. There is only one small difference between the two. It’s our perception, whether we are victims or conquerers. When we realize that we are replacing a new and wonderful action in the place of the old action that we wish to change, we can focus on that new action and all its joys, rather than becoming victims who are depriving themselves of something.

If we have the capacity to think, we have the capacity to be our own heroes. Make sure to leave the victim mindset in a small box outside the door. There’s always opportunity to go get that box later. Leave it outside for the first 21 days of the habit change, and let’s see how that goes. It’s only 21 days. If it’s not necessary to get it after the first 21 days, leave it for another 21 days, etc., etc.

If we are not sure what that one New Year’s Resolution is going to be, here are several action steps that may help.


Write Down 5 Habits
1)   Write down 5 habits that you wish to change. (Don’t worry if you don’t have 5.)

2)   Next to each, write down a replacement action you could do in place of the action that is your habit. It can be fun, creative, unrelated, as long as it is immediate and available to you within 10 seconds of getting your original cue.

3)   Next to that column, on a scale of 1 to 10, write down how much you wish to change each.

4)   Use the 1 to 10 guide to decide which habit will be your New Year’s Resolution. Keep judgment out of it. This is for you, alone. If one is more pressing than others, but everyone thinks you should change another, go with your gut. It’s your New Year’s Resolution, and it’s your habit. And you know better than anyone else what it feels like inside you.

5)   Now that you have picked 1 of the 5 habits you have written down, decide whether the replacement action is accessible to you 24 hours a day. If it’s not, pick another one. If what you picked requires eating food, drinking water; make sure that you can carry the food and water with you at all times.

6)   Get ready to start by buying any food or bpa free water container you will need and preparing it now, since your plan starts January 1, 2014 for your Happy New Year.


The plan must be in place before you move a muscle so you will be ready when the cue (the trigger that makes you want to take the old action) shows up. That’s what 6) is all about.

7)   Tell a friend, storekeeper or some online social media connection about your decision. Keep talking about your resolution behavior on a regular basis. It will encourage follow through.

8)   Do it! You can, you know!


1 step at a time will get us changing whatever habit we choose. We can make a list. We can manage to have water or carrots with us all the time. We can go to a public grocery store or library and tell an employee there what we’re doing. The employee will listen. This declaration usually helps us stay on track.

Most important, though, is to be consistent with keeping up with the new behavior, and, if this involves food or drink, prepare it. We need to be ready so that the first time and the 100th time our body or brain tells us to act out the old habit, we are ready with the pre-planned all, new behavior.

Repetition Is KeyTo succeed at our New Year’s Resolution Habit Change, repetition is key. Whatever our new behavior, it must be repeated for a good 3-week period as a humble beginning. I just read an article saying how 21 days to change a habit is a myth, and 66 days is more realistic. If you’re like me, it can take 90-180 days to take hold, and repetition is still necessary on a daily basis after that.Strong Foundation


Bottom line, a strong foundation is extremely helpful when changing a habit. It makes the efforts that will surely be difficult, a little less difficult and absolutely possible. Wish you an extra bit of energy for your resolution! Follow the steps and see if it works. We’re all together.




It should be noted that Alfred Manfred Max-Neef developed a more complicated, yet more complete, human development model which he based on fundamental human needs and discussed in his 1991 book, Human Scale Development. This model includes:

subsistence, protection, affection, understanding, participation, leisure, creation, identity, freedom. The reason I favor the simple version is it is more concrete at spelling out our needs. It is a lovely list that is worthy of thought.

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New Year’s Resolution 3-Question Survey
For All Survey Participants: Free Habit Change Plan.
Click HERE to proceed.

but don’t forget to read Diane Gold’s comments below!

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Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition and habit change.

She believes we each succeed at our great New Year’s Resolution. She says,

“With a simple instruction of how to walk a path, the path does not have many holes. That’s because we are prepared for the holes when they arrive. In the same way, with a little planning and straight-ahead focus on our part, we can proceed with habit change and have a positive outcome. Rather than think about whether or not we can accomplish our task, let’s just do it. That is the way!

“Happy New Year! Be safe.”

Happy New Year 2014

Habit Change: Solving Not Complaining


By Diane Gold

All of us have developed the habits of solving and complaining. The very assertive yet ineffective method of complaining has been reinforced into our beings since our families and our teachers said,

Speech“Speak out,”

without giving us parameters about what that meant in terms of effect and solution. Many of us thought it meant speak about a topic, and point out what’s wrong with nothing further. Informing is a crucial part of the process, but it is not enough. Once we have informed, we have to start a path to solution, if solution is our goal. Speech

Because society keeps changing and each generation latches on to slogans, I remember,

“Question authority.”

The point of this commandment was to get us to think, communicate, create and solve. However, many people neglected to encourage the create and solve mechanisms necessary for us to accomplish change and allowed us to gossip, nag, criticize, whine and moan since this piece of the speaking out concept occurs without much effort.

The slogan, as I see it, was meant to stimulate the mind into founding new solutions. Parents wanted children to think for themselves and accept not what others fed them without critical thinking and deduction.

Orating For EgoWhat transpired for various reasons has been a culture of speakers with no solutions, many just “orating for ego” (good T-shirt). Since there has not been a focus solving vs. complaining in modern times, it is more common to hear groups of complainers than groups of problem solvers. Plus, it’s more difficult to create than to condemn (another good T-shirt, “create, don’t condemn”).


Change A HabitIn order to solve vs. complain, we follow the process for any habit change: cue, replace the old action, reward.

In the old scenario, we saw something we disagreed with (the cue or trigger that sets off the action).

We went on our internet radio show (well, not when I was young) and complained or preached about it (the action).

We felt good because we had talked (the reward), but what we saw as wrong did not change.

In the new scenario, we see something with which we disagree (the cue, same as original).

We have a pre-planned new activity such as going to a focus group strictly to work on a solution (the new action).

We feel good because we have created or are on the path to creating a viable solution to the issue (the reward).


Of course, it is important to communicate our thoughts, desires, opinions. Exclusively talking about the wrongs, the negatives, the bad situations may bolster our egos or get us into a clique, but it deludes us into feeling accomplished and obstructs our path toward solution.
People In Our Clique

What if all the people in our clique used our wonderful brain power to brainstorm about how to solve something? We would use up the same amount of time and energy. We would be sharing ideas that could sprout into solutions. True, we would expose ourselves to ridicule if our clique did not agree with our solutions. But, creating a solution is what everyone wants, right?

If we truly believe in an idea, we will want it to have a result. This means acting toward moving it forward.

We can ask,

“If I could be instrumental in solving a national feud through some super technique, would you want me to talk about how terrible war is or would you want me to administer the technique so that we could accomplish cooperation and harmony?”


“If we all had a loved one who was sick from a disease, would you want me to talk about how terrible the pharmaceutical industry is or would you want the cure to the disease?”

Or, let’s get personal.

“If you had nightmares, would you want me to talk about how many illegitimate techniques offer to alleviate them or would you want that one super relaxation technique that stopped nightmares?”


I’m pretty sure we would all rather have a solution than to hear the story about the problem, rather than the process for solving it. I’m also pretty sure we all have many useful ideas that can turn into brilliant formulations toward solving or beginning to solve a situation or preparing a solution. All we need is a systematic approach to discovering a solution. In order to limit the possibility that we go off track, we could employ the following systematic approach: Systematic Approach

1) Use no statements that self-aggrandize.

2) Make no judgments when an idea is brought to the table.

3) Minimize kvetching (Yiddish word for complaining) as soon as it arrives out of our mouths.

4) Keep doing it. Place as much energy on solving as we have on complaining; and we will make a difference.


Solution Process With Every SpeechNow that we are evolved enough to understand this, it is time to consider the solution process with every speech. We may have to change our habit, if we are used to being critical, not constructive. We can certainly slap the wrist of education for lack of emphasis on oration without solution. And we can change how we educate from now on.

I am reminded of the 2013 engineering toy for girls, built on the premise that girls need engineering concepts as do boys. This toy is breaking the gender-biased stereotypical mold that girl toys should be dolls and boy toys should be construction sets. The creator, whose training is in engineering, saw the need and created the solution. She could still be talking about it, but she executed a solution and talks about that.

In the same way, educators can start forming the creative solution process at very young ages. And families that encourage their children to speak out can back that up with the importance of solving, rather than complaining.


Here is a process for creating a solution. Do it to see what happens. Using a simple process of writing down the first 5-10 things that come into your head, come up with your own process for the scenario in 1):

1) Family 1 lives on 1 side of the river. Family 2 lives on the other side of the river. Each family has had one of their family members hurt by the other family as a result of war or land disputes, and the families currently have sworn animosity toward each other.
Family 1 needs a special berry that grows on Family 2’s side. Family 2 needs a special root that grows on Family 1’s side. Both the root and the berry will save lives, but the families do not speak to each other. Start Talking Again

What process can we offer the families to start talking again, and how can they curb their hate?

2) Email us your process. It will be kept anonymous.

3) To get thinking about solutions, not complaints, let us know how you would respond to the following:

a) On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being a lot, how much do you believe you can make a difference of any size in your community?

b) On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being a lot, how much would you like to contribute to human rights and social harmony?


Please leave a comment and LIKE.


Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition and habit change.

She knows from personal experience how easy it is to get caught up in opinion sharing which can take people away from creating solutions. She says,

“It’s pretty natural to speak out when we see wrong. Especially if we were encouraged to do so as kids. Based on all the speakers and regular folk who are complainers, we, as parents, and the education system from which we come, did not appropriately teach that solutions are a large and necessary follow up to any criticism. Without it, we are just exercising our mouths.

“Solutions are scary because we do not have a whole crowd around us when we are the solution creator and sole discoverer. When we complain, there are always people who can relate to our complaint. But when we solve, this leaves us completely vulnerable to disapproval and social scorn. Which is part of why we gravitate toward complaining and not solving, in the first place.

“Let’s make sure, from now on, we show by example that we devote as much energy to solving a situation as we do discussing what needs solving. This will guarantee positive direction for all humanity.”

Social Influence, Habit Change And What’s Missing!


By Diane GoldSocial Meeting

What is it with social influence and habit change? For habit change, it seems very obvious that people like support. And that more people change a habit using a buddy system or enlisting an accountability partner or group. This article will focus on what about groups helps us and what’s basic to success.


Group Activity GymWhen thinking about social influence and habit change, I think of doing physical fitness like tai chi, going to the gym, going to a weight watch group, going to a rehab center. The function of each of these group activities is motivation of some kind. Let’s look at how the group motivates us.

1) We are social creatures and can enjoy being in the company of others.

2) Because we are the ultimate creatures of habit, a new group setting can be a safer environment than one we have been around when acting out our old habit.

3) We can get courage from hearing that someone else understands us, whether we are talking about drugs, weight loss or anything else.

4) Being with others is a big distraction that can assist us when breaking in a new habit. After all, when we are alone, we are our sole distraction, and the only person on whom we rely; but, in a group setting, we have more social influence keeping us on track.

5) Because we are so impressionable, for the most part, we pick up the habits of others. Therefore, if we are around people who are productive, we will be more inclined to be productive.


We should note that the group experience is not everyone’s preference. If we look at how Americans spend their time, according to the America Time Use Survey, done by the U.S. Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics, a similar percentage of people work out alone as together. But this statistic is not specifically for habit change activity, so I would suspect if there were a time use survey done for people who are changing a habit, there would be more groupies than soloists.


Success In Habit ChangeWhen we look at the amount of people who go back to their old habits after six months, a year, five years; it can be disheartening. There’s an interesting statistical article from 2004 about how treatment doesn’t work at:

Unfortunately, after writing about how treatment doesn’t work, the article’s publisher contradicts itself by saying its treatment facility has a success rate 30% higher than anyone else.

It is fairly accepted that most people who become residents in rehabilitation centers succeed between 3% and 10% of the time to maintain their habit change. The data at centers is usually compiled without scientific method, and, because individuals only answer survey questions to arrive at conclusive data, it is extremely difficult to maintain study integrity.


This fact reminds me of another modality whose studies are sporadic, don’t always use scientific method and are small. It’s how tai chi, which saves lives, does its magic. Studies that involve mind-body answers and compare one’s lifestyle before and after are very expensive. To conduct a nice-sized primary study (one that uses fresh data to arrive at conclusions vs. a secondary study that analyzes and interprets a primary study), it can cost $250,000 and that would be for a small mind-body study.


So, what’s missing from all these programs that include one-to-one therapy, group therapy, peer group therapy, tai chi, chi kung, yoga, massage, sauna, meditation, organic vegan food and more?

I’m going to repeat what makes up a habit: a cue, a behavior and the resulting reward. This habit model doesn’t change. So what are we shooting for?

When we go into a program and do all the therapies mentioned above, we have one purpose. It is to change a habit. This requires that a new system be put in place. To build this, we must change the mind and develop skill and build our foundation. After all, we need to have something to hold on to when our urges show up in order to direct us to execute our new behaviors we have developed.


Let’s use how tai chi changes us since I have seen it first-hand in many hundreds of people. Any mind-body work or other creative discipline can do it as long as the instructor understands how foundation is built and instructs it starting with the basics.

FoundationPeople think tai chi is for exercise or defense, alone. It’s really for perception change. By doing a powerful exercise as tai chi is, we learn a systematic approach to movement. This system gives us tools to use in everyday life. As we acquire the patience to endure tremendous body exertion, we are learning a tool that works with anything in life. We have the understanding to know that the physical exertion and mental concentration needed to physically execute the movement is teaching us to follow through. And it is showing us we can do it.

This type of training gives us a foundation of skills that can be used to change a habit. They are self-esteem, pride, temperance, patience, tolerance, strength, balance and many more. These are the traits needed for habit change. If a rehab program misses teaching these skills through some type of system, the program participant is left in relatively the same condition as when s/he arrived, only learning a few rote skills which usually fade away, exposing the old habit.


We are socially influenced in many ways. When we see lots of people doing the same thing, we are more inclined to do that same thing. I always give the example of helping a fallen woman on the sidewalk. If no one has stopped to help, we are less likely to stop. If someone has already stopped to help, we will be more likely to inquire if we can help (unless we are public servants or feel like public servants and believe it is our duty to protect).

ChangeIt’s the same if we surround ourselves with people who do not take drugs or drink or overeat or gamble. We will be more likely to accept behaving in a similar fashion, especially if they know we are working on habit change. If we keep repeating a new behavior in place of the old habit at the same time as building a personal foundation, we will succeed. And what’s missing at the start will no longer be missing. We will have developed, not only new behaviors, but a structure within ourselves that will sustain the way we wish to live.


In order to see how easy it is to reach out to another, meaning, to form a group, here’s an action that might be helpful.

1)  Approach someone who is in your life or just someone you meet at the library or supermarket.

2)  Tell her (him) you are doing an experiment and that you need help one time between 6 pm and 7 pm one night this week. (It can be a different time.)

3)  Tell the person that, when you call, you will ask her to tell you how important you are to your mission.

Let us know how it goes.


Please leave  a comment and LIKE.


Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition and habit change.

She has been influenced by group dynamics and seen how others sometimes get trapped. She says,

“Fortunately, I was raised to be very independent. But groups still influence me. Whether we are helped by the group or our own personal way, the one that works is the right one for each of us.

“As for building a foundation, there’s only one way to go about it: one step at a time. Slowly, with consistency and follow-through. As we begin to build upon ourselves, we become very strong. Then we become the social influencers, and nothing more is missing.”

The One Secret To Habit Change: Get It And Use It!


By Diane Gold

The SecretThere is one secret to habit change. We don’t need to be college-educated to understand it. We don’t have to have been brought up in a wealthy home to use it. It is the same in every country. It applies to every habit. We all know the concept as it applies to daily life. Yet, it’s still a secret.

Before we spell it out for you, let’s look at the characteristics of habit change. We have three ingredients: the URGE, which is the itch or cue that we want to experience a particular pleasurable feeling; the ACTION, which is whatever is done in response to the urge; and the REWARD, which is the glorious feeling of pleasure we get from the action we chose to take after we had the urge.

Act Within 5 SecondsIn order to hear it, we must be ready at this very moment to realize its truth; and that if we don’t make it a priority in our lives, we will go another way. Easiest is best, and that’s upon what this secret is based.

Are you ready? Here it is.
In order to eliminate lots of wasted time from roller coaster habit change work, act within 5 seconds of feeling the urge. And you will have the easiest road ahead. I’m not saying it’s easy, but I am saying this method makes it easier. Simple, right?

Let’s look at a few examples.

Instant MotionPicture the situation where we get an urge to eat cake. We are on a strict regimen not to include cake in our food plan. If we don’t act with instant motion within five seconds of the urge, we have already given ourselves time enough to plan which way we will walk to the cake store, passing an Automatic Teller Machine along the way, since we keep no cash with us to avoid running out to buy food. Oops, we forgot about the ATM card. Or figuring out how to run up an account with the local grocer if we have no cash, if we have remembered not to have an ATM card around.

[Note to self: if not already done, place the ATM card in the safety deposit box.]

If we do act within five seconds, we can dissipate our urge and have one more experience of staying within our food plan.

Here’s another.

Join Our BuddiesImagine it’s the end of the work day, we are closing up our store and start getting the urge to join all our buddies across the street and drink alcohol. Yet, we know, at this time, we have decided to abstain from alcohol because it does not support us. So, when we feel that craving, we have a choice: we can act within 5 seconds and take a new action that does not involve alcohol OR wait and go drink alcohol, a behavior we already know is not working for us. If the people at the pub are really our buddies, we will see them later, not in the bar.

This urge and this situation have happened to me more times than I can count. My live-in boyfriend had left work early and was always at the bar. So, my mind did its jealousy dance about his having alcohol and fun without me or having more alcohol than I was having. Crazy, right, that I would be jealous of someone else’s having more substance than I? Crazy, but true. Vividly, jealousy green, true.

The only way for me to replace this cycle was for me to act IMMEDIATELY before I thought about alcohol, jealousy, whatever else my crafty mind came up with. If I didn’t act quickly, I’d be sucked into the old habit behavior.

And finally, a last example follows.

Let’s say I had stopped smoking cigarettes for a year. And no one smoked around my job or house. One day, I was taking a walk in the metro area, and someone who was smoking passed me by. I got a whiff of smoke and instantly wanted to smoke. Without instant action, I would be urged to bum a cigarette from that very person. That would start the old familiar cycle of smoking which was the familiar behavior I knew that satisfied the craving for smoking. When I moved quickly and took a different action, I learned how to create new rewards with my different actions, and the urge to smoke went away again.


Window Of OpportunityWe have a very short window of opportunity in which to execute the one secret to habit change. It’s usually in that five second range that we must act. If we don’t take a new action within that time, we will habitually do our old behavior. And changing our habit will wait on the sidelines another day.

Think about it. What happens when we procrastinate? Nothing new. If we do nothing new to change our habit, we will gravitate toward what we know: our old habit. Most of us know our old habit with our eyes closed because we have repeated it so often.

It requires focus to take a new step. The more we take that step, though, the more it replaces our old action. If we do it once, it’s a novelty. If we do it twice, we see its merits. If we carry it out a third, fourth, fifth time; it becomes more natural, although usually it requires 21 days for the mind to accept the new behavior as becoming a possible replacement.


The one action we will take when we feel an urge works for all kinds of habits. It can’t hurt us either. It can only help.

We will drink water, two glasses, eight to twelve ounces each, as soon as we feel our urge to fulfill our old craving, no matter what it is. The act of drinking water dissipates any of the oral addictions biologically, such as eating, alcohol drinking, drugging, smoking. It has the following effects on all habits.

Perspective1) It physically dilutes the blood so that the usual amount of substance (food, alcohol, drug) cannot produce the same reward.

2) It changes our mental perspective so that we are no longer focused on whatever we were focused on before we drank the water.

3) It changes our emotional status because it has a calming effect.

4) It teaches us a technique we can use almost anywhere), at any time, as long as we are in a place fortunate enough to have freely running water.

5) It is our first habit change buddy, always loyal, never a flat leaver, always faithful.

Secret MagicDo it. It is massively impactful, requires little activity, not much effort other than the effort of doing magic on or tricking one’s own mind. And it works on all the urges to a large degree.

May the change be with you!



Please leave  a comment and LIKE.


Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition and habit change.

She has used the one secret to habit change many a time and would like to see it go public. She says,

“Habits are learned by repeating one behavior, over and over again. If we were Vulcans (from Star Trek) and had no emotions, we’d have no trouble taking the secret step at any time and adjusting our behaviors.

“Because we are not Vulcans and are so attached to our emotions, cravings, urges, desires, passions; each behavior is motivated by many emotions. Thus, we need boldly to move ourselves to the new behavior, whether our emotions agree or not. This takes focus. If we put on horse blinders, we would have an easier time. Although the very idea might diminish our self-esteem, another important emotion; so we don’t use them.

“The secret to habit change is water, two glasses. Let’s make an effort to drink it as a technique of change. It works and empowers, all by itself. Consider it. There’s nothing to lose.”