SOCIAL PROOF AND POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE ~ ISSUE 218 ~ NOVEMBER 29, 2016

By Diane Gold

SOCIAL PROOF, DEFINITION

Social proof is the sociological/psychological phenomenon of where people “reference the behavior of others to guide their own behavior.” [Jennifer Cardello- Nielson-Norman Group] Another way of saying it is being influenced by other people’s choices (O.P.C.) to the point of making the same one.

When we see celebrities, charismatic people and heroes promoting something, doing something; we take that behavior into serious account when making our (sometimes hasty) choice to do that same thing. We like to conform, because in conforming, we align ourselves with others and are not alone. We strengthen our social identity.

Here’s a quote from the not-always-knowing Wikipedia from whom many get a kind of social proof,

“Formal analysis shows that it [social proof] can cause people to converge too quickly upon a single choice , so that decisions of even large groups of individuals may be grounded in very little information.”

But converge we do. Here are a list of things that we do that are perfect examples of social proof in action:

1) See a person run into the ocean to save a whale that needed to be turned around to avoid sudden death,

2) Choosing our political candidates because our friends, parents, celebrities are voting for them,

3) Choosing to go to Harvard because that credential puts us in a special place,

4) Seeing someone who is famous, beautiful or handsome in a particular company’s clothing and running out and spending the rent on that same clothing to be part of the in crowd,

5) Being in a sorority or fraternity house and seeing a fellow sister or brother rape someone and being influenced to take part in the rape, when, other than to be accepted, we would never think we were the kind of people who would rape,

6) Being in the street where someone is being beaten, seeing someone run in to help the victim, seeing another person run in to help the first helper and choosing to run in and help,

7) Going to a charity gala whose cause you care nothing about, where people are asked to raise hands to show what denomination you will donate, and raising your hand to donate when you see so many people raising their hands,

8) Seeing a highly successful person endorse an idea, and jumping in, too, as you let yourself be influenced.

POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE

So, we know that influencers can be the catalyst for our decisions. Not a bad social tool since all of us need direction and guidance about the things about which we know not. Why not make certain that our decisions cause solutions, rather than generate unrest? Now is the perfect time to be the influencer, to be the stimulus of social proof.

I have to point to an article by New York Times reporter Nicholas Kristof where he talks about things people can do now, after the election. I do not agree with his headline where he speaks to one group; his steps work well for all people to unite, including his target group. But headlines get people to read, so headline we must.

ACTION STEPS

I am paraphrasing Nicholas’ 12-Steps to show how social proof, in this case, heeding Nicholas’ words, can bring progress and positive mental attitude:

1) I WILL accept what exists now,
2) I WILL do small things in my own life, such as volunteer locally to reduce prejudice toward any peaceful religious or belief-driven group,
3) I WILL avoid demonizing people,
4) I WILL do my part to support society,
5) I WILL support groups that fight hate and I will ask for America to keep bigotry away,
6) I WILL support refugees (aren’t almost all of us refugee descendants?),
7) I WILL say or do something when someone makes a racial, ethnic, religious, human slur in my presence,
8) I WILL resist dwelling in an echo chamber and will move to listen to different views,
9) I WILL not turn my back on the needy and will volunteer or donate or both,
10) I WILL understand that progress can unfold at state and local levels,
11) I WILL take on sexism and misogyny,
12) I WILL not lose hope.

[http://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/17/opinion/a-12-step-program-for-responding-to-president-elect-trump.html]

CONCLUSION

We can all be positive and continue to support our beliefs in many ways. The key would be to be supportive rather than grievance committee-ish. Let us use social proof to get us motivated to be socially involved in something good. Nothing stops because an election is over. Our society is fluid. We go on and can be great influencers. We can be the first to run to save the whale, act based on our pre-thought out belief system and not on flash and bang, we can call people out on their hateful words or actions.

Social proof determines how we act at many times in our lives. Let us pull out the leader in all of us and see, ponder and do with kindness as we build our positive world.

If  you wish to share your story, leave it as a comment under an article at warriorsofweight.com/issues.

If you need habit help, check out WarriorsOfWeight Consulting.

Know that you can reach out to a fellow human, probably to the person right next to you. If that interaction works out poorly, do it again. It’s worth it, since most people are nice and want to connect with you.

FEEDBACK

We value your feedback very much.

Please leave a comment below.

Please LIKE us on the website and at

WarriorsOfWeight on Facebook.

You can comment on Twitter @warriorsoweight.

Thanks.

DIANE GOLD, PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, has been a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, has been a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying peaceful conflict resolution, habit replacement and has been certified in plant-based nutrition.

She believes that social proof can be used for the good, not just to make ourselves feel part of the social flow. She says,

“When we watch our role models, we tend consciously to emulate them. But, we are massively influenced all day long by what people do and say. We may, unconsciously emulate them, friends and strangers alike.

“Let us be aware of our actions, the little ones. When someone curses, we may curse. I know when someone speaks with a New York accent, my New York accent becomes more prominent – to fit in (and it makes me feel like home). I realize this is not everyone, but many of us are influenced by what someone else does. The action we choose based on this influence is the social proof we use to validate ourselves.

“We can watch this phenomenon as it happens and ask ourselves if we are acting for the good – whatever we believe is the good, using social proof to build positive mental attitude through awareness of what we do when we see.

“Let’s consider ourselves as leaders, in everything we do. Because we may be leading someone who sees what we do and copies it. We are the builders of positive mental attitude, in this regard; and it elevates us.

“By keeping aware, we can care for and love our fellow beings at all costs – and we are all always worth it.”

EXERCISE OF THE WEEK:
MAKE 1 SOLUTION IN PLACE OF 1 COMPLAINT.

PREJUDICE IS A HABIT – THE KEY TO REPLACING IT ~ ISSUE 217 ~ NOVEMBER 1, 2016

By Diane Gold

Prejudice is a habit, if we agree that a habit is a routine caused by repetition or an acquired pattern of behavior. As with all habits, they can become dormant when replaced by a new one. Some take a moment, others takes what seems like a lifetime. Our habits, for better or worse, are always with us; but we can shuffle them to the background.

PREKNOWLEDGE

So how is prejudice a habit when it is supposed to develop from preknowledge or opinion, not based on experience? I contend that the preknowledge came from some repetitive behavior (which developed a habit), the most common is that

OUR PARENTS TAUGHT US that a group of people of certain race, religion, nationality are inferior, bad, are to be shunned, are damaging to our worth or reputation.

To this, I say,

“We are all exactly the same (to quote Luis Guzman on Chicago Med when coaching a transgender woman’s lover on how to react to the news that her lover was trans) – except for a few tiny differences. Long live whites and ambers, tans, greens, reds, browns, blacks or whatever word people use to describe their skin color or the delineation of their choice. Can we please get it together and work to replace prejudice, already? It requires humility and hard work, but we can do it! If we don’t evolve, we might as well live underground with the worms (with all due respect to the worms).”

When I think of my own childhood, I was brought up in a home that was free of prejudice, for the most part. I say for the most part because I have discovered some. I can understand about 10 or 15 Yiddish words (Yiddish is a language derived from German that some Jewish people in Eastern Europe speak or spoke) and one of them is a word for “black person” that, back in the day, was a Yiddish speaker’s probable racial slur of an African-American. This is alarming to me and something I just recalled at age 67. I am not sure whether I heard it from my grands, my uncle (not the one who was like a second father to me) or, and this would be disappointing to me, in the home of my loving parents. If it were in my home, which I am leaning to doubt, it might have been said once, and I recognized its meaning having heard it outside from another family member. This is bad enough. What was the motivation to use this word? How could I have missed this prejudice in my own family? Why would they think it was OK?

This kind of racial slur reminds me of the expression, “the chosen people” to refer to Jews or Hebrews, not sure which. I very definitely did not learn this in my home, although I have a cousin, also to my dismay, who said this.

TRANSFERRING OUR BAD EXPERIENCE TO OTHERS WITH THE SAME ETHNIC, RACIAL OR RELIGIOUS GROUP

Sometimes people who are bullied or attacked, find an ethnic or racial component to fault. Though a childish concept, it is easy to see how we can transfer this one bad experience to an entire group.

BROUGHT UP BIGOTS

WE MAY HAVE BEEN BROUGHT UP BY PEOPLE, who were brought up by people who were raised to think that the best way to success was to raise themselves above others because of similar or different appearance. This home-bred prejudice leaves out the truth that we are all the same. If we are not taught equality and our home training includes hearing prejudicial language, we may develop prejudice from an early age. And, the older the habit, the more work needs to be done to replace it.

THE KEY

The key to replacing prejudice has nothing to do with admitting we have it and everything to do with doing work to replace it. Just as I don’t believe we have to have a positive mental attitude to get it done, I believe we can do the work, even if we do not admit our  prejudice. Look at this example: if we are scrawny or overweight, we don’t have to admit either of those. If we change our diet, do exercise, rest well, have interactions with others; we will change without ever having had to allocute to our particular body type.

THE WORK – THE ACTION STEPS

This set of action steps gives one fabulous technique based upon The Parents Circle, Family Forum, one of my hero groups. This group takes two sets of people on “opposite sides” of an issue and brings them together to talk. It’s Palestinians and Israelis whose family member has been killed by each others’.

The Prejudice Club takes elements from this. Its purpose is to answer questions that show us how we are almost the same as human beings.

Here is the Prejudice Replacement Technique, carried out in community meetings of The Prejudice Replacement Club.

1) Get together with a group of up to 10 people who are willing to be respectful, non-violent and follow the rules of the Club.

2) Come in to the session knowing you will answer a set of questions honestly, to be heard by your 5 minute partner at whom you will not look.

3) Pick a number out of a hat upon entering, and go to the appointed side of a center line.

4) Take the seat that corresponds to that number.

5) Do not look around or turn around to see your partner.

6) Everyone will use numbers as names. You will not call your partner by her/his name. You will not remain the same number for more than one session.

7) Be as honest as possible, not answering based upon determining your partner’s ethnicity by voice or colloquialisms. Just tell your truth.

8) If you find you are getting nervous, uncomfortable, angry, sad; tell the coordinator, who will help you.

9) Notice the differences; notice what is the same. Uncannily, scientifically, we are almost all exactly the same.

CONCLUSION

Prejudice is a habit, and as with any other habit, can be laid to dormancy like so many of our habits. It can happen if we choose to talk and express how we feel. It doesn’t always work right away; it usually makes changes. So, let’s become members of the Prejudice Replacement Club and get peace done.

FEEDBACK

We value your feedback very much.

Please leave a comment below.

Please LIKE us on the website and at

WarriorsOfWeight on Facebook.

You can also follow us on Twitter: @warriorsoweight.

Thanks.

DIANE GOLD, PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, has been a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, has been a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying peaceful conflict resolution, habit replacement and has been certified in plant-based nutrition.

She believes in freedom – for all people, not just the strongest, the most beautiful and most popular. She says,

“I am the same as you. My skin is not the chosen skin. Neither is yours. I am not more deserving than you. And vice versa.

“It is my duty to be a kind human. That doesn’t mean I have to buy you a house. It also does not mean I have the right to discriminate based on my habits. And, if I do, I want to change myself, evolve myself. How about you?

“I always have this idea to ask TV script writers to come up with peace scenarios: how we can live together with all sects and religions that aim for human good, which are all the major religions of which I am familiar. A belief system cannot create terror. Only a human heart can do that.

“Let’s talk to each other, yes. Let’s talk until we see ourselves as reflections of our sisters and brothers. Did you ever come together during a strong earthquake, tornado, hurricane? Did you care who saved you from the brink of death?

“Look for The Prejudice Replacement Club nearest you. By passing on the idea, we care for and love our fellow beings at all costs – and we are all always worth it.”

EXERCISE OF THE WEEK:
BE PART OF THE PREJUDICE REPLACEMENT CLUB.

CONFLICT RESOLUTION EDUCATION ~ ISSUE 214 ~ AUGUST 2, 2016

By Diane Gold

DEFINING CONFLICT AND RESOLUTION

Conflict resolution education deals with how to handle a serious difference. We might call it an argument or a fight when people are using defensive language about their position. Depending upon how people were trained/schooled to proceed, this can lead to violence, which proper education can minimize.

Conflict is defined as fighting, contending, battling. Most of the time, clashing engagements such as these begin when we are young, from the very first toy we take out of the mouth of our play date or very first friend, continuing until the day we call our last.

Resolution is defined as coming to some harmonious position between two or more opposing views.

QUESTION

So how is it we only think it’s important to study conflict and its resolution in our third year of study in pre-law, political science, mediation training or debate? Did anyone ever think that if we began to educate our young about conflict resolution from early childhood and onward, we might have experience studying the studies, role playing the scenarios and discussing the value of the outcomes by the time we influence communities, plant seeds for our own children and make decisions that need temperance?

CONFLICT CLASS, BEGINNING EARLIER THAN KINDERGARTEN

If I were programming early public school – such as in New York – where there’s Kindergarten at 4 or when kids go to day care at 3, I would create a conflict resolution program. Of course, it’s a little dry to call it that for 3-year-olds, so What To Do When We Disagree might be a better title or WTDWWD or wu-tu-du-wu-wu-du. If I called it How To Conflict, that might be good, too. Then, everyone would have to learn the vocabulary word “conflict.”

We would discuss first that we are free minded people and may come to different conclusions about what to do in a certain situation. We would have to be calm, ourselves, in order to make a good decision. And, for that, we would introduce tai chi, a system of movement that teaches us to do slow, physical movement from every fiber of our body in order to bring the mind into a state of balance.

ACTION STEP ONE for conflict resolution is: bringing the self to a state of calmness. This ability serves to prevent sickness, enhance self-esteem, reduce the amount of times we feel stress.

CHOICES

The next thing would be to realize that we all have choices to make. If we are lucky and live in a land that is free, such as the United States, we decide what we will do. We can find it’s more important to get our way than it is to be kind. Or we can decide that we don’t have to get our way because we would have to hurt another person to do it. But talking about it from early on would give us FFF, food for thought. We would be stimulated to think and bring that thinking to school where others could respond. And the teachers, of course, would mediate, the way each student would do upon growing older.

Since we don’t have 5 years in which to study being calm or time to take a blasphemous weekend certification course in tai chi, chi kung, meditation when there is an immediate conflict, we would drill in making decisions quickly, to get good at making good decisions under pressure. It would be similar to target practice with moving targets, except with the mind.

PRIVATE PROPERTY AND HUMAN RIGHTS

The example I like to use with groups is LAND PIRACY. This is a most common conflict, so we discuss what we would do when someone came to take our land.

There are not many options. We have what is morally right, legally right, egotistically right. Not much else. All these options are open to interpretation. But, if we have been considering them since 3 years of age, we may not have to panic and strike out or panic and run the other way. This gives great value to beginning conflict resolution education early.

WHAT CAN WE DO?

Since our options are few, we have to decide what motivates us. Is it (1) who needs the land more, (2) who possesses the land because laws must be followed, (3) who will kill to get or keep the land, (4) who looks weak and who looks powerful or (5) something else?

Is it moral to have lots of land when others live in garbage cans?

Is land worth taking someone’s life?

Is land worth giving up our own life?

ACTION STEP TWO

Give these questions some thought and send in answers to [email protected]. We will read every one.

CONCLUSION

Conflict resolution education may be taught in school. Students may receive less biased information that is less home influenced at the source and learn to express themselves without family interference if they are not home schooled. Those who are may not be free to read a wide variety of world opinion, since family values may override the topic at hand.

Let’s be good citizens, all, and pass on the outcomes of history during conflict. Children can understand what happened in history. Discussion of this will develop thoughtful adults. Let’s not conceal any information in learning. Let’s put it all out there for new minds to choose for themselves. Why do we give people the skills to read and right but not to interact in debate until they are older? Hardly fair.

Let’s build conflict resolution education into every subject that is taught, because we need the skills that it teaches everywhere.

If you wish to share your story, leave it as a comment under an article at http://warriorsofweight.com/issues. or even better, write our own article and put it up on a free wordpress site (https://wordpress.com), or post it on a social media site. Share yourself.

If you need habit help, check out warriorsofweight.com/consulting.

Know that you can reach out to a fellow human, probably to the person right next to you. If that interaction works out poorly, do it again. It’s worth it, since most people are nice and want to connect with you.

FEEDBACK

Please leave a comment below.

Please LIKE us on the website and at

WarriorsOfWeight on Facebook.

You can comment on Twitter @warriorsoweight.

Thanks.

DIANE GOLD, PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, has been a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, has been a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying peaceful conflict resolution, habit replacement and has been certified in plant-based nutrition.

She believes in conflict resolution education at an early age since we encounter its need as soon as we are born, or, certainly, upon socialization. She says,

“I don’t believe in hiding information from children. It is we as parents who have the responsibility to fill our children with the skills to decide how they will live and what they will believe.

“I do believe in creating circumstances that can teach children to see harmony instead of strife, to value kindness rather than property, to be productive in ways that make them happy and fulfilled.

“And I do believe it is just as important to role play social situations as it is to learn about other people’s history and crucial to start these lessons early. Think of how much more polished at handling conflict we would be. Think of how much more understanding we would be.

“Wouldn’t it be special to advance human evolution through the wisdom we would have from the longevity of this experience.

“This in itself would help take good care of each other and ourselves. It would demonstrate loving ourselves and our fellow beings at all costs – because we are all always worth it.”

EXERCISE OF THE WEEK:
CONSIDER HOW WE WOULD ACT IF SOMEONE PIRATED OUR LAND.

HOMELESS – HOW WE CAN HELP ~ ISSUE 207 ~ APRIL 5, 2016
By Diane Gold

ARE WE HOMELESS?

Are we aware of what it is to be homeless? Probably only if we are homeless or if we work with people who are homeless.

Are we blind to suffering? Probably only if we are not suffering.

These suppositions have to do with how aware we are when we are living a situation but how unaware we become when we are not. Think of having a baby. It’s very painful. Do I remember the pain? No, I remember the joy. Or think of being sick when we are not.

Do I remember being sick? Depends upon how long ago I was sick. For me, it was just the other day, and it was the kind of sick where I could see life’s end. But, the last time I had an ache, a pain, a cold where I was totally clogged is but a small memory since it happened so long ago.

THE CONCEPT OF HOMELESSNESS

How I began to think of being homeless had to do with asking my step-niece, who works with homeless and housing as the administrator of community housing in Austin, to do an interview. What also got me thinking was a young feral cat I was feeding who arrived as if she had just gotten lost from her inside home with a human. I found her a new home and was able to trap her and give her to the seemingly willing family. Due to some error in nurturing, she ran away from that family and has to start all over again making her way not to starve.

My feral cat responsibility started a few months back when the cross-the-street neighbor who had been feeding 3 cats for, at least, 10-15 years, moved. I didn’t know about ferals and was told by a cat person that feral cats who have become dependent upon humans most of their lives would starve if not fed. So I started to feed them. Not until the young one who arrived, got trapped by me and brought to a seemingly willing family, and, subsequently, ran away, did the idea of homelessness really start to weigh on me.

The feral cat situation is difficult. Neighbors fear disease and late night cat fighting. But, how can we let the dependent ones starve?

HUMANS WHO ARE HOMELESS

This brings us to humans who are homeless. I was first introduced to people who lived outside when I went to the beach every morning to teach class. There were always the few same people under blankets when I arrived, who would be gone and in town by the time I was ready to leave.

Why are people homeless? Don’t we have plenty of money in this country to provide for everyone? This reminds me of the reaction of a virtual techie I had hired who was at a university in his country of birth, India. He did not know the great United States had homeless. Or that the statistic is around 600,000 people, 2/3 of whom live in shelters. That’s 200,000 outside homeless, including 50,000 who are veterans.

The hard righties say that everyone should work, and people who are homeless have no reason to be there. The hard lefties say that we should provide for those who are homeless, no matter why. In the middle, we can look at why people are homeless which may impact what we think is the answer.

WHY HOMELESS

Most homelessness revolves around the almighty dollar.

Most homeless people get to the street, bench or field by some event that puts them over the line, such as losing a job, domestic abuse, becoming too sick to work, losing a loved one who no longer provides.

We know there are homeless because of sexual abuse or because some have lost limbs, eyes, mental capacity or emotional balance in the United States military and could wait no more for veterans’ organizations to exhaust their waiting lists. The street is there, and it is filled with people.

Shockingly, there are some people who prefer homelessness to making money as someone’s or some corporation’s minimum wage slave.

I had a student who chose to live under the pier because he said it was cheaper than having an apartment on his construction helper wage. Others prefer the idea for ethical reasons where they object to making money by manipulating others through crafty marketing designs and can find no other work. These two examples put a burden on the rest of us, yes.

This is in the United States? YES. Is it our responsibility to help our sisters and brothers and their children who are homeless with our money and our time? YES.

NOW WHAT?

Those of us who have homes are fortunate. Those of us who do not are not as fortunate.

I’m not faulting anyone for having a 20-room house or for being a maker of a money making life. Utilizing the self for financial gain is great. I’m only noticing homelessness and how far away it is from most of us who have homes. In turn, I am not faulting anyone for becoming homeless. For most, it is not a choice. Or, if it seemed revolutionarily glamorous at one time, people get stuck where they are.

I do think some of the makers in software design and writers of TV show plots can create some radical new housing scenario that serves the homeless as it serves the community. A great example of a creative group’s doing something is InfoExchange, a software company that won Google’s Impact Challenge in Australia. The company is building an app for homeless to connect them to all the shelter services on a nightly basis based on location.

CONCLUSION

No matter who we are, we don’t want to be homeless. As George Carlin used to say,

“I need a place to put my stuff.”

This very concept is why we see people walking around with shopping carts filled to the brim.

Whether we push carts that hold shiny new products we have just bought at a store or whether people who live outside are pushing them, we need a place to put our stuff.

Consider the good fortune of housing. May it teach us the patience to understand and help those who live on the street.

ACTION STEPS

1) Be kind to a homeless person, and know s/he could be you.
2) If you are a creative, consider creating a better way to connect people with housing.
3) Connect with a project in your local community that helps homeless.

If you wish to share your story, leave it as a comment under an article at http://warriorsofweight.com/issues. or even better, write your own article and put it up on a free wordpress site (https://wordpress.com), or post it on a social media site. Share yourself.

If you need habit help, check out warriorsofweight.com/consulting.

Know that you can reach out to a fellow human, probably to the person right next to you. If that interaction works out poorly, do it again. It’s worth it, since most people are nice and want to connect with you.

FEEDBACK

Please leave a comment below.

Please LIKE us on the website and at

WarriorsOfWeight on Facebook.

You can comment on Twitter @warriorsoweight.

Thanks.

DIANE GOLD, PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, has been a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, has been a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying peaceful conflict resolution, habit replacement and has been certified in plant-based nutrition.

She believes we can never be too kind. She says,

“Aside from the fact that we should care for each other, both the ugly and the beautiful, how would we want to be treated if we were homeless?

“There was a movie about a rich person being relegated to living in the street. He had learned to be resourceful by the nature of having such large responsibilities, but he got to see a side of life that many of us, more fortunate, will never see.

“We don’t know why someone is homeless, and we are not better than someone who is homeless. Although we may own the land on which the homeless sleep, this property ownership doesn’t mean we are better or spiritually richer or more worthy.

“Let us be kind. Not only because it could happen to us. Let us be compassionate and understanding because we are human and we are our sister’s keeper.

“Let’s take overall good care of each other and ourselves – including loving ourselves and our fellow beings at all costs – because we are all always worth it.”

EXERCISE OF THE WEEK:
LOOK AT A HOMELESS PERSON, AND REALIZE S/HE IS SOMEONE’S SISTER, BROTHER, MOTHER, FATHER, DAUGHTER, SON.

DIANE GOLD – SICKNESS AND HEALTH – SAYING HELLO ONE LAST TIME ~ JANUARY 19, 2015
http://warriorsofweight.com

Dear Warriors,

I Come And Go In Peace.

It’s Diane Gold. I wanted to say hello one last time This may be my last mag, although I hope to write when I can.

Lots of love always. May you have good fortune throughout your life,

D aka Diane Gold of WarriorsOfWeight.com

DIANE GOLD – SICKNESS AND HEALTH – SAYING HELLO ONE LAST TIME ~ ISSUE 203 ~ JANUARY 19, 2016
By Diane Gold

Sickness and health are two very different states of being, so sayeth Diane Gold (I have to get in that keyword for ranking). When we are sick, there is little else to think about except working all the techniques we have learned in life to get us through stress, difficulty, panic, fear, sadness the biggest one, the feeling of feeling sick. Health is a completely different way of being, one that we often don’t think about. Or, if we are lucky, we realize there’s a reason to be grateful  for it.

SICKNESS

Unfortunately, I am sick. Don’t have a name for it yet, but I don’t see a way I will be recovering, or that is the logical conclusion. In seeing it this way, it is helping me adjust.

Everything was hunky dory, and then it wasn’t. As an aside, accidentally, Hep C was found in my blood 6 years back, although, like most liver problems, it wasn’t making any apparent difference in my life. But, because it can be life-threatening as it progresses, I took the new meds for it, Harvoni, for two months, and the Hep C virus cleared from my system. (Yay!) As I mentioned, I had no symptoms or abnormal liver functions before that. I have no liver abnormalities now. Coincidentally or possibly related to taking those meds (since all meds have side effects, even the ones that don’t), 4 months later, I started to feel constantly speedy and nauseated. Now I have diminished breath, too, and abnormal tests from other body systems.

HEALTH

I, Diane Gold, have been healthy for a beautiful 66 years and it’s two children later. I have had a joyous life, filled with many delectable experiences, the biggest being the privilege of having my children and watching them grow up to be respected, dynamic change makers in their own right. I have been able to be a mother, wife, friend, daughter, sister, mentor. Privileged. And, until now, I’ve experienced feeling super perfect health.

I have had the honor to make people smile and de-stress through teaching music and music therapy, through teaching tai chi and through giving general advice to the weary.

I have been able to learn to play the piano and play music with others.

I have lived by the ocean for a long time. Now, living a block from the beach, I have been able to smell the ocean air. A few days ago, I went to view the lovely ocean with my daughter. Just a moment ago, I got to walk on the beach with my son and breathe the full array of Atlantic Ocean air (stopping periodically to catch my breath).

I have done tai chi which has given me a way to flow through life, positioned to evolve through my last breath. I have also been able to pass this “way” on to others and have been privileged to be called “teacher.”

I have done 5 Rhythms Dance which is a freeing tai chi like dance that takes us through the cycle of our life within the dance. And, if we can see it, the 5 Rhythms lives within us as a method of cycling through life, similar to the tai chi.

I have fortified myself with martial arts.

I have shared my life with wonderful animals and currently live with my two amazing and loving cats.

I have been fortunate to be able to choose to minimize the amount of animals I have killed, as a lacto-ovo vegetarian for 40 years and since 2009, as a vegan. I believe it is the human’s duty to survive, but it is also our duty to be kind to all living things.

THE BIG CHALLENGE

Now it’s my turn to put to use all the knowledge I have received from training, from teaching, from movement, from creating. So much of this knowledge is part of me. I will have to recall it in the face of no longer good health.

One of my new jobs will be to call my skills to the forefront, since I will have a whole new set of norms in my life, which include NOT feeling strong as a truck or healthy as the strongest plant-based athlete or feeling completely healthy with all of my being. My new norm may also include pure discomfort.

I will recall how to breathe deeply, even if my body cannot.

I will recall how to quiet the spirit, even if my mind is in chaos.

I will create waves of balance for myself, even though part of me will not naturally go there.

I will walk my walk as graciously as I can, even if I have fear, pain, doubt.

I will reach out to my fellow humans who are familiar with me or my new path.

I am leaning on my children as I know they want.

I will go off into the sunset with a smile, and I will lean on these words as I am doing it.

ACTION STEPS

There are several action steps I want to mention which may be helpful or may show who I am, both.

Stay away from cigarette smoking at any age since its effects are timeless and its damage catches up with you even if you quit.

Stay away from crack and other drugs that are inhaled, since they take their toll on you, too.

Stay away from cocaine and other snorting drugs since they can affect your lungs, although studies that have been done cannot identify how much causes what damage. I’m not saying stay away from the drugs. I believe they should all be legal to provide comfort, when necessary, similar to drugs used in the conventional medical system. Only, find a safe delivery system to spare the lungs or other body parts.

Stay away from second hand smoke, and take your kids across the street to avoid someone’s smoking on your path. Your kids will appreciate it later in life.

Make lots of joy, in as many ways as you can.

Move your body around daily so that your organs get their exercise and stimulation. Picture moving the body with the freedom of octopus tentacles so that all organs get their workout.

Eat plants, as long as the ground grows them, to live longer and to be moral.

Eat fiber to please the gastrointestinal tract.

Juice green goodies, at least, once every day.

Adopt a pet from a shelter. There are many wonderful lives waiting to give you love.

Trap-Neuter-Return a feral cat. If s/he is just homeless, take her (him) in.

Care for others to be kind.

Don’t judge. Take action that is not prejudiced.

Make sure to train every customer service person to whom you speak that your time on the phone is not being reimbursed and that it is more valuable than 10 X the salary amount the rep might consider, since we don’t get a refund on time. Teach the rep to respect this time and do not allow one to ask you to call back at a later time. It is the rep’s supervisor’s job to call you back, even when the rep says it’s not allowed.

Get up if you fall. Don’t worry about being graceful. True dignity has nothing to do with how stylish we are. It is within, even if some people equate it with how kempt our appearance is.

Share yourself and your ideas by trusting others, forgiving them when they err. If people do bad or hurtful things, it is because they are afraid of being overrun, so nurture them in some way. Even the worst ones.

Create today since life is short.

Do not rush because life is long. (If you do tai chi, it will give you more time.)

Go say hello to someone new, just to make connection with the universe to which we are all connected through each other and all life.

Love as hard as you can wherever and whenever you can.

Think of me kindly, and know that I meant the best for you. I love you and am smiling with you.

Be at peace.

If you wish to share your story, leave it as a comment under an article at http://warriorsofweight.com/issues. or even better, write your own article and put it up on a free wordpress site (https://wordpress.com), or post it on a social media site. Share yourself.

If you need habit help, check out my articles at the link above. Know that you can reach out to a fellow human, probably to the person right next to you. If that interaction works out poorly, do it again. It’s worth it, since most people are nice and want to connect with you.

FEEDBACK

You can still leave comments here.

Please LIKE us on the website and at

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Thanks.

DIANE GOLD, PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, has been a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, has been a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying peaceful conflict resolution, habit replacement and has been certified in plant-based nutrition.

She believes in love, kindness, forgiveness, daily personal evolution. She says,

“Life is not forever, but it’s great if we live as if it is. I have always lived fully, not living in anticipation of my end, but being as much in the moment I am in. Like this very one.

“I have been so fortunate to have perfect health – up to now. For this, I am grateful. I am also grateful that I have had the ability to have this gratitude, to have forgiveness, not to hold anger or grudges. This is a true freedom.

“My mother didn’t hold grudges either. ‘Thanks. Ma.’

“Thank you for allowing me, Diane Gold (there’s that keyword again), to have readers such as you and to be able to interest and help people along the way, even for a moment. It means a lot to me.

“And, finally, let’s take overall good care of ourselves – including loving ourselves and our fellow beings at all costs – because we are always worth it.”

EXERCISE OF LIFE
IS TO BE KIND WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY,
KNOW YOU ARE WORTHY OF JOY AND
TREAT YOURSELF WITH REVERENCE AND FORGIVENESS. AND DON’T FORGET TO MOVE YOUR ORGANS AROUND THROUGH DANCE OR TAI CHI AND HUG AS MANY TIMES A DAY AS POSSIBLE.

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SEXUAL RIGHTS: THE RIGHT TO REFUSE ~ ISSUE 202 ~ DECEMBER 22, 2015
http://warriorsofweight.com

SEXUAL RIGHTS: THE RIGHT TO REFUSE ~ ISSUE 202 ~ DECEMBER 22, 2015
By Diane Gold

FOCUS ON THE RIGHT TO REFUSE

Sexual rights are human rights that pertain to sexual activity and sexual health. This essay focuses on the rights to have or not to have sexual activity, sharply stressing the right to have full freedom to consent to or refuse sex, including within marriage, without the risk of violence, kidnapping, position reducing or deprivation of any kind for having chosen to refuse.

[FACT: In the United States, marital rape is a crime in all 50 states.]

SEX ON DEMAND IN THE SCROLLS

There are many writings that do not share the philosophy that sexual refusal is a right. The way most are written is that it is a wife’s REQUIREMENT to satisfy a husband’s SUMMONING for sex. How sad that physical and emotional torture, which UNWANTED sex is, should be a requirement!

ALL OF THE DOCUMENTS I have found were written by men with a sexual slant that men are more important than women and that women are to serve men.

When we pick a jury for a trial, do we not question each juror to make sure s/he does not have a preconceived notion, a prejudice, that would damage objectivity? In the same way, we must look hard at any writings that pleasure one human’s rights over another, that violate women’s rights for the pleasure of men or that violate men’s rights for the pleasure of women.

SEX EDUCATION AS HUMAN PROGRESS

In the last several years, various countries have begun voluntary sex education classes or are planning them for refugees migrating to their country or those who are already there. Of late, many migrants come from countries that do not honor sexual rights of women. Norway is a leader, beginning nationwide programs in 2013. classes that will help newly arrived immigrants to see that women have the right to out, relax in bars in short skirts and go out without an escort. Hopefully, the class will teach that the following New York Times quote by a new immigrant to Norway shows that his current habit (revealed by his quote) is a violation of human rights and is illegal.

“Men have weaknesses and when they see someone smiling, it is difficult to control,” Mr. Kelifa said, explaining that in his own country, Eritrea, “if someone wants a lady, he can just take her and he will not be punished, ” at least not by the police.

PUBLISHER’S QUESTION ON SEX EDUCATION

When we teach about sexual rights, we are exposing the student to the idea that we have the right to refuse. We are not promoting consent or refusal, we are just talking about rights. If our familial belief system does not offer this right of refusal, what is wrong with hearing that some cultures allow it?

CONTAIN VIOLENCE THROUGH UNDERSTANDING

The best way to contain violence is through understanding. We know it is wrong to do violence to another person. However, to obtain power, land or get people to accept our thinking, we use it. To get revenge against someone who has hurt our ego, we use it.

Yet, developing a new habit in immigrants by showing them new behavior is precious. The new sexual education will allow them to assimilate the mores of their new country without frustration, misunderstanding or mistakes. Once their new habit – that of valuing humans as equals – takes hold, they will know the new rules. It is true their cultural connection to rights violation may take longer to change. But, at least, they will see there is another side to the way people act and respect; they will consider the rights of others and they will learn the rules of their new environment drastically differ from their old.

Hopefully, new understanding will reduce violence.

CONCLUSION

Sexual rights are inherent. We are not born as slaves, even if someone else says we are. We are not born as sex objects, even if someone else says we are. We may be relegated to act those positions by people who can deprive us or deprive our loved ones of food, water, shelter, clothing, work, creativity and rest and relaxation. But the rights are still ours.

It is important to give great thought to human rights, whether we have read about them in a special book or learned about them through living them. Should we focus on one part of an ancient scripture, such as a wife shall cater to her husband when in the same book doing so would violate the loving thy neighbor as thyself or thou shalt not steal edicts? How can we have a rule that does not apply to all humans?

Rights are rights. They apply to us all.

Let us give sexual rights education to those new to our territories. Let us be understanding of those who do not believe as we believe. And let us profess kindness, an easy activity to understand.

ACTION STEPS

1) Consider how you would explain sexual rights: the right to refuse, and post it by scrolling down to the comment section here.

2) Discuss the sexual right of deciding for yourself when and when not to engage in sex when a spouse asks for it. Before you start, agree to stop the discussion if anger enters.

3) Consider volunteering at a sexual abuse clinic once.

If you wish to share your story, please hit reply in your email program to be contacted.

If you need habit help, go to warriorsofweight-consulting.

FEEDBACK

We value your feedback very much.

Please leave a comment below.

Please LIKE us on the website and at

WarriorsOfWeight on Facebook.

You can also follow us on Twitter @warriorsoweight.

Thanks.

DIANE GOLD, PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying peaceful conflict resolution, habit replacement and certified in plant-based nutrition.

She believes in freedom. She says,

“When we force a human being to do something s/he has not chosen, it is wrong. When we force a human being to do something sexual s/he has not chosen, it is worse because, not only does it involve bending the emotional will, it involves bending someone’s desire while touching her/his physical body.

“When we are forced to do something that involves our body, the memory of it lingers and lingers and lingers.

“When I think about a spouse forcing a spouse to have sex, I am sad. Why would any spouse care so little for her/his spouse as to force such an act? This sounds like abuse, not love. It also sounds exactly like rape. And, in the eyes of American law, it is.

“Our spouse is not our object and cannot be forced. (I know there are certain rituals in certain cultures that may be different from this. I ask us to look at them.) Even the prostitute, whose job it is to have sex for money, does not have the right to be forced. In the eyes of the law, if we say no, it is no.

“Let’s be conscious, kind and studious of sexual rights. It is only fair.

“And, finally, let’s take overall good care of ourselves because we are so worth it.”

EXERCISE OF THE WEEK
IS TO GIVE SOMEONE A HUMAN RIGHT.

THE ROAD OF PEACE IS OURS IN ONE STEP ~ ISSUE 200 ~ NOVEMBER 24, 2015

By Diane Gold

The road of peace is an ongoing mindset always to be acting, thinking, being peaceful and at peace. There are all kinds of strategies that cross our minds, our books and our conference tables. We are taught at a very young age not to be pushed around, to fight back, to go even the score.

We are taught that we can go to a one-time peace rally and smile or that we must do something violent to save face. Both of these actions side-step the road of peace. One is on the road to peace, a forward looking approach where peace is not achieved but is pondered. The other is an egomaniacal approach to life.

PUBLISHER’S NOTE

Just a note. The road of peace is now, present. The road to peace is a future state. I am of peace and at peace now.

OUR FOCUS

How can we focus on vengeance and believe it is justice? Why is every cops and robbers/hackers TV show about getting the perpetrator for purposes of seeing justice serviced, which is usually a disguise for getting revenge. Why do we not create entertainment that changes society’s vengeful side by displaying and embellishing stories whose main sentiment is forgiveness and understanding? Why don’t the greatest minds in entertainment come up with creative ways to show conflict resolution in comedic and dramatic properties? We learn much from entertainment and art. Let’s step it up.

Why are we not looking at peaceful solutions to political, religious and national turmoil, instead of war? Why are we always in the conference room with our finger on the trigger?

The answer to that is that we want to be alive in case someone else pushes the red button of war first. But, we can set up our systems to warn against that and think on the road of peace. We know war brings hardship to all, temporary glory to some and a new cycle to come, which, so far, has always repeated itself. We all lose if we do not further the cause of humanity by coming up with a sustainable solution that requires being peaceful now.

The New York Times Editorial Board wrote an article about the price of fear. I quote,

“In the reaction and overreaction to terrorism comes the risk that society will lose its way.”

THE REACTION TO VIOLENCE – REPEATING THE CYCLE – OR NOT

I say, often times, we have tunnel vision. Person A, from Tribe A, steps on your land, so you, from Tribe B, shoot her. Person A’s daughter shoots you to honor her mother whom you have shot.

What if Person A had taught her children not to kill in retribution but to negotiate a peace to sustain the future so that Tribes A and B could live together? What if Person A were the first generation to begin teaching this method of reaction? And the next 10 generations of that family taught the way, no matter how many times Tribe B became violent? Very hard to do since our lives would be at risk. But, as one French person answered his son who said they had to move after the Paris bombings of November, 2015; he said that they didn’t have to move, there are bad guys everywhere, and, when his son mentioned guns, the father replied,

“It’s OK. They might have guns, but we have flowers.”

When the son said that flowers don’t do anything, what he repeated after his dad replied to him was,

“The flowers and the candles are here to protect us,”

and then he said that now he felt safe.

At some point, others would mimic the same pattern. At a further point, this method would rub off on others from other tribes. At some further point, TV shows would reflect this theme, and comedic and dramatic shows would use the theme to teach future generations.

THE TRICK

Someone has to be brave enough not to kill killers. Someone has to be balanced enough to be at peace first. This starts with each of us.

The next time each of us decides to have a social experience, we can go dancing, rather than join some angry crowd calling for vengeance. The next time each of us decides to act to make ourselves feel bigger, let us choose a different behavior.

ACTION STEP – CHANGING OUR REACTION HABITS

Let’s say we want to become more refined, constantly more elevated beings who surpass our animalistic tendencies that have come from the combination of our innate survival instincts and habits developed through repetition of action. This same habit formation that is part of us from early on can be used to replace the habits we have created, to re-develop the habit of peaceful behavior. Just by planning to do so in advance.

Let’s say we are always working on sustainable solutions on the road of peace. This means we are willing to put our insecurities, our anger and our well ingrained habits aside.

HOW TO BE ON THE ROAD OF PEACE

1) THE PLAN

In advance, plan a behavior to do within 2-5 seconds of feeling angry, vengeful, toxic feelings that show themselves or give you a warning that they are about to show themselves.

2) THE BEHAVIOR

Physically leave the location where you are, even if it’s a small adjustment. If possible, run around the block one time or your corporate building or your school campus. This will change the mind because you are involving a physical act which will change the biology from many angles.

3) REPETITION

Repeat the behavior the next time angry, vengeful, prejudicial, toxic feelings show themselves or give you a warning that they are about to show themselves.

4) MORE REPETITION

And the next 100 times.

5) CONTINUING TO TAKE THAT ONE STEP, A HABIT IS BORN OR REPLACED, ON THE ROAD OF PEACE

All habits remain. Whether they are dormant or active, that is the question. For us to be peaceful, we must be peaceful. If we get in our own way, we can get out of our own way. If we act in peace, we will contribute to peace, the peace within and without.

CONCLUSION

The road of peace is a fertile road. We are on it if we decide to read the road sign.

It is not necessary to believe this will work.
It is not necessary to believe in ourselves.
It is not necessary to think happy thoughts.

These three things may come to us in time if we commit to follow the action step. Action is the key. New action that is not the vengeful action of our foreparents is the way. Most of us are not genocidists. We are not in need of annihilating others. Or, if we are, we take the one action step I propose to replace that need.

We are here to be kind and better our species, in creativity, productivity, to spread our message peacefully, to improve the way we gather our food and water, to be more educated about the way we enhance our health, to show love to each other, to care for the planet.

Being peaceful is the way and the road of peace. Becoming peaceful only takes one step.

If you wish to share your story, please hit reply in your email program to be contacted.

If you need habit help, go to warriorsofweight-consulting.

FEEDBACK

We value your feedback very much.

Please leave a comment below.

Please LIKE us on the website and at

WarriorsOfWeight on Facebook.

You can also follow us on Twitter @warriorsoweight.

Thanks.

DIANE GOLD, PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying peaceful conflict resolution, habit replacement and certified in plant-based nutrition.

She believes that we can be on the road of peace in one step.
She says,

“We are developing habits all day long. Every day. Every time we repeat an action, we are one step closer to having an automatic habit. This means we are replacing habits, too. When we do something new in place of what we used to do to achieve the satisfaction of what made us act in the first place, we let go of some habits and let others shine through. Truthfully, we don’t really get rid of any habits. They stay with us forever. Some go dormant. Others stay at the forefront.

“To tie this in with peace, we develop habits when we feel certain things. When we itch, we scratch. What if we swam instead? We might replace scratching with swimming. The point is we can replace our habits of anger and vengeance which come from insecurity with those of being peaceful. In one step. We just have to plan the behavior we will do when we get the old feeling to become angry or vengeful.

“We don’t have to be ready, strong, a Democrat, believing it will work. None of that is even important. All we have to do is do a new action, and we will develop a new habit. It has worked with every human who is of sound mind so far.

“Do it. You will love it, and the world will thrive because of you and me.

“And, finally, let’s take overall good care of ourselves because we are so worth it.”

HABITS FORMED BY OUR BELIEF SYSTEMS ~ ISSUE 198 ~ NOVEMBER 17, 2015

By Diane Gold

“Belief systems are the stories we tell ourselves to define our personal sense of ‘reality’,”

said Gerhard Adam in an October 3, 2011, in an article for Science 2.0.

We are taught value systems when we are young which we accept or reject as we get older. We are exposed to rituals that accompany value systems, which we accept or reject as we get older. We always have the impressions of this exposure, no matter whether we decide to follow these systems or not.

THE BEGINNINGS OF OUR BELIEF SYSTEMS

My very earliest memories are of being encouraged to speak up, speak out and question. I remember making trips to the library weekly where I had my own library card at 2 or 3 years of age. I also remember, later in life, at the ripe old age of 5 or, possibly, 6 or 7, getting The Gift Of Life, a booklet (I now know was created by Planned Parenthood in 1951) that described how a baby was born and being encouraged to ask about it.

My questions about almost everything were welcomed and answered in a way that was meant for me to understand the true nature of the answer, as opposed to some half-baked answer that would take limited effort on the part of my parents to insure my understanding.

From this, I developed a set of beliefs, mores, life concepts that have led me in this life.

Many of us do not experience the privilege of this open questioning forum that I had. We are brought up to acknowledge the beliefs of our family that are reinforced throughout the family day, through ritual, study of the specific belief system, regularly scheduled meeting with others who have the same belief system and the study of historic references to fortify the beliefs. Questions are often dismissed, discouraged or not permitted since the belief system has been established to be one way.

HABITS FORMED BY BELIEF SYSTEMS

Both for those of us who are encouraged to question and for those of us who are required to follow along, we form habits. If the system seems to agree with us, we may get a feeling of warmth when we go to perform a ritual related to the system. If it is an open system that we are developing for ourselves, we might automatically go study something when questions about the universe are asked. We use the teachings of our family and our ancestors, book knowledge, school knowledge, how we are accepted by others into specific groups of present day thinking, how we have groomed ourselves in terms of what we do with what we believe.

No matter which way our belief systems take us, we are convinced we are right. So much so that we break the code of not bringing the topics of politics or religion to discussions with friends or family. We are compelled to do so.

To enhance our belief and to share our customs and understanding of this belief system, we spread the word. We have studied it, we have repeated rituals that pertain to it, whether they are prayer, taking time to read or being active in some way, be it alone or in a group. We are so convinced about this way that it is our duty to spread the wealth of our knowledge.

SPREADING OUR BELIEF SYSTEMS, FORMING HABITS

When we repeatedly talk about our belief system, we are forming a habit. So, each time we encounter another person; it is easier and easier to slip into discussion about what we believe. And it happens that more frequently, we are in this discussion.

The more fervor we generate, the more passionately we share our knowledge.

The more we believe in a particular system, the less we tend to listen to someone else, even though, if it is our duty to communicate, it would seem to be our duty to listen, as well. Even though we think we are spreading knowledge, we often forget to see whether what we are being understood.

Then this talking at people becomes a habit. We may only be interested in talking to people who immediately get our point of view, in which case, we don’t have to stop much and listen. But, belief happens through understanding, so it would seem that listening would be a requirement.

CONCLUSION

We all care about our belief systems, what we have taken for our own from which to live and act. If we have made it this far, however far that is, and don’t have a name for the values and beliefs from which we act; we may not need one. If we do have a name for it, let us stand tall in our beliefs.

No matter what system we follow, advocate, take as our own; it is imperative that we respect the value of life. I am sure all belief systems have a place for this, although, it is hard for me to understand how the preservation of human life can take a back seat to principle in some belief systems when there seem to be other choices.

ACTION STEPS

To follow are some action steps that may open the mind or, at least, develop understanding of others.

1) Begin or continue to study yours and other belief systems. This will help in understanding each other.

2) Listen to others when offering a point of view, and do everything possible to see it someone else’s way.

3) Do not be closed to changing your mind.

4) Show forgiveness.

5) Don’t be prejudiced. We all get comfortable with stereotypes. Let’s make every effort to know that every person or group deserves freedom. If that freedom infringes on someone else, s/he has the responsibility to resolve conflict in the most harmless way possible.

6) Find the good in every belief system. When you find something intolerable, examine yourself.

7) When belief systems are involved, so are habits. Understand that creating harmony and bridging the gap between belief systems has to do with changing habits. Create small actions requiring new behaviors which will, in turn, cause habit change, which will, create harmony.

If you wish to share your story, please hit reply in your email program to be contacted.

If you need habit help, go to warriorsofweight-consulting.

FEEDBACK

We value your feedback very much.

Please leave a comment below.

Please LIKE us on the website and at

WarriorsOfWeight on Facebook.

You can also follow us on Twitter @warriorsoweight.

Thanks.

DIANE GOLD, PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying peaceful conflict resolution, habit replacement and certified in plant-based nutrition.

She believes in evolving on a daily basis through study, conversation, healthy work.
She says,

“The way we conduct ourselves in adversity shows our way, our belief system. If we show compassion, forgiveness and humility during unsettling times, our belief system has led us to be there. If we show aggressive behavior and vengeance, we may not have found a sustainable solution through our belief system.

“We always have a chance to grow and evolve, as long as we wake up. Let us learn why we act the way we do and listen to the heart of the world in the process.

“And, finally, let’s take overall good care of ourselves because we are so worth it.”

EXERCISE OF THE WEEK
IS BELIEVING ENOUGH TO APPLY CHANGE.

WATER SHORTAGE: OUR ROLE (ISSUE 162) MARCH 17, 2015

By Diane Gold

WATER SHORTAGE

The reason I wrote this article was because I saw myself wasting water, even in the face of knowing that there is a water shortage. It really hit me when I had my own water shortage. I knew I was washing the dishes in my sink with the water running the entire time. I began to think that using a dishwasher, which my current residence lacks, might be more economical.

(According to the Water Resources section of whitehouse.gov [http://water.usgs.gov/edu/qa-home-percapita.html], my activity of washing for 3 minutes 2 times a day using a new faucet but an old sink uses about the same amount of water as one dishwasher load at 20 gallons per day. Too much.]

A CLOGGED SINK TEACHES COMPASSION

So, here’s what happened to my sink. It clogged. So, my water consumption came to a screeching halt. And I would have had to wait for a drain fixer until the following day if I had sat tight. That’s when I got a miniscule taste of feeling water shortage in the way that so many people do every day, and that is, not having water at my disposal when I wanted it.

True, I wasn’t really without water. I could Valley Girl myself into the bathroom and use water from the bathroom sink. But, I did not have my regular access, and the bathroom sink was too small for me to fill a pot with water. In my panic, I decided to go to the store and get some horrible chemicals to put down the sink that were guaranteed to fix the clog and pollute the Earth.

Although I felt sad at having to pour pollution into the pipe that would reach wherever it ended up, I did it anyway. It was guaranteed to work in 15 minutes, even though it took 12 hours.

The result was I was forever more cognizant of my water waste and continue to be so.

WHY IS THIS MY PROBLEM, OTHERS MIGHT ASK?

Some of us may not see there is a global water shortage. We don’t see 840,000,000 people in front of us every day who have no water. We say,

“What does this have to do with me? I have never been without water.

“I don’t use much water.

“There’s so much water from oceans that we can desalinate it if we have to.

“Only a few people in the centers of a few countries experience shortage.

“And what does this have to do specifically with my habits. They don’t have an effect water shortage.”

My response to those statements is clear, not because I am the most diligent person, but because we are not alone.

THE HUMAN FAMILY

We forget quickly that we are part of one human family. If one part of our family is thirsty, then it is our responsibility to do something about it as if it were the people in our very house.

Remember the last hurricane, tornado, monsoon, tsunami that passed by?

People we never even spoke with before, who had lived in our village, on our street, right next door, up the avenue or field shared food, refrigeration, ice, concern, nurturing, and, yes, water. It was a magical transformation caused by our common environmental disaster.

Why are we so self-absorbed that we’re not like that every day? We all care about the people who are water insecure. Right?

FOOD CHOICE CAN WASTE WATER

Since life is so complicated, it is hard for us to think of water shortage unless it is right at our front door. It usually takes some heart wrenching photo of children’s misshapen bodies for our attention to be drawn to drought or lack of access to water. Imagine, though, that we are causing the continued water shortage by overuse. And how are we doing it?

According to the Water Footprint Network, 40 gallons of water are used to produce a pound of pulses (lentils, chickpeas, peas beans) compared to producing a pound of beef, which requires 45 times more water. So, our use of animals for food is one of our big wastes.

ACTION STEP

We could balance the water shortage by eating plants. That would allow everyone to have more water. According to everything I learned in my courses to become Certified in Plant-Based Nutrition, eating plants would prevent a bunch of chronic diseases and suffering; and it is not necessary to eat animal protein and most of us in the Western world are over-consuming protein.

If we were eating plants, we could be teaching developing countries who are emulating us to grow plants efficiently, save their bodies and save the Earth. They would be spared learning the hard way that the amount of water it takes for raising animals and the disease statistics associated with eating meat, fish, poultry, dairy and the land we destroy are reason enough not to do it.

HOUSEHOLD CHOICES CAN WASTE WATER

Those of us who do not have to walk a mile to the water pump, and that’s most of us in the United States, take water for granted. We use water regularly for oral hygiene, in our toilets, for washing ourselves and cleaning our houses, to prepare food within our single family structure and to drink. Are we diligent, though? Yes, the amount we use in household is miniscule compared with the amounts used in agriculture. But, it still matters.

I mentioned earlier my personal waste. It turns out I was letting the water run the entire time I was brushing my teeth. For no reason other than that I liked the sound, I liked the feel of the water trickling on my toothbrush; but, mostly, because I forgot to turn it off, I was being wasteful and socially unacceptable. I also kept it running before and after filling my name brand electronic water flosser. Again, the amount of waste was not huge, but it was completely unnecessary. I’ve decided diligent water use matters.

By being diligent and turning the water off more often, I can maintain my 360 gallons or less a day for a single person in an apartment. I am taking responsibility for 15 minutes of watering the grass outside since I get to see it.

What the chart at the US Geological Surveys Water Science School does not take into account is the amount of water used to prepare our food. I am a plant-based eater, so I am using a smaller amount of water to grow my produce than someone who eats animal products. But, if I forgot about morality and ate 1 hamburger for the day, my water consumption would quadruple. Too much to be sustainable.

Plants require water to grow, but it is common knowledge they require less than animal based foods. I’ve seen statistics that animal-based food (including poultry, fish and dairy) use from 2.9 X more to 13 X more water, but I just know the number is considerably more.

CONCLUSION

I have read some surprising statistics about water, including, according to the Rural Community Assistance Partnership (from a document prior to April, 2009), that 1.7 million people in the United States live without plumbing facilities.

According to the April 29, 2011 article by Laurie Ure for CNN, nearly 1 billion people walk 3.5 miles a day to fill their jerry can to bring water home for the family. How often do those people get to their water source only to find a water shortage or a source that is dried up, closed, contaminated, unavailable? Something to think about.

Let us be diligent to contribute positively to reduce water shortage by being connected to everyone in need, by considering our food choices and minimizing pollution, by composting and recycling, and, easiest of all, by reducing water waste that may be right in front of our eyes.

Although there is water shortage, there are areas worldwide that can access water with the right equipment. World Water Day, March 22 2015, celebrates water and our awareness that it is not forever. If you wish to donate to build a well so that 500-1000 people can have access to groundwater near their home in Africa for 10 years, please do it at: https://thewaterproject.org/community/profile/diane-gold.

If you wish to share your story, please hit reply in your email program to be contacted.

If you need habit help, go to warriorsofweight-consulting.

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Thanks.

DIANE GOLD, PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying peaceful conflict resolution, habit replacement and certified in plant-based nutrition.

She cares about water. She says,

“I’m grateful for my sink’s having clogged. It gave me a great look at conservation of water in the kitchen. I’m grateful for noticing my toothbrush water, so I can reduce it.

“These are tiny things which, alone, amount to little, but, together, would be more meaningful. Let’s take a moment and consider that water is not renewing as quickly as we are using it. So, let’s use less. And let’s appreciate what we have more.

“Finally, let us all take good care of ourselves because we are so worth it!”

BALANCE IN OUR LIVES (ISSUE 168) MARCH 3, 2015

By Diane Gold

Balance in our lives seems like a “played out” expression, verbal hype that marketers, coaches or therapists (sometimes hard to tell them apart until we look at their wall) use to lure us into buying their coaching programs. But the reason so many people seek out the programs (like warriorsofweight-consulting), even if advertising leads us to them, is that many of us don’t have a system that works.

THE BALANCE FORMULA

I believe that we each need some sort of balance formula, a set of categories within our systematic approach to living our best life. For me, today, I have included:
1)   body-mind rest and renewal, without which we are not good to ourselves or others;
2)   support and love from family and friends, without which we stagnate;
3)   a satisfying way to be creative, without which we leave our artist untapped;
4)   a satisfying way to self-sustain, without which we are less productive (please note that not everyone needs to have a job or career; some choose to trade services; others choose adventures other than the regular work model);

5)   something spiritually rooting, without which we look for a root;

6)   non-chemical, non-polluting nutrition, which means without plastic and metal leaching from cookware and dishware, which means no genetic modification in the seeds, which means no type of food that causes global depletion (such as methane run off from livestock, dead zones from overfishing, soil depletion and desertification of land from animal grazing in dairy farms or cattle ranches) which leaves us with organic plant-based food;
7)   ethics, music, art, without which we are not whole human beings;
8)   joyful physical activity, without which we do not stimulate our body’s systems to stay healthy.

Which ones of mine are yours?

PLEASE NOTE

This formula does not include shelter and clothing, although these are quite necessary. It also does include something spiritual which does include self-esteem and other things that do not have to do with our physical nature. It is a general outline.

Suffice it to say there is no one right way or best way. I prefer this way, you prefer that way, she prefers a completely different way and he prefers a combination of yours and hers. The idea is to have one, or, at least, think about developing one. It’s handy, not too tough to create and comes in, oh, so handy, on a daily basis.

We may have heard someone say,

“I’m missing something,”

or

“I feel like there’s a hole inside me.”

Even the expression,

“I have to get myself together,”

means a gathering of behaviors, reactions and choices so that we more clearly live our best vision of and for ourselves and others at that point in time and onward.

We all feel, at least, a little as if we have to make some adjustment at one time or other. It’s part of the process we go through where we reshuffle ourselves to become more (here comes the word again) in balance, where we make personal changes to become more supportive of our goals and ourselves.

THE WHEEL OF BALANCE

We can almost think of the formula as a wheel of balance with each category a spoke. What I would put in as the categories that we need to balance life are these. As I said before, each of us may differ; although, we, humans, are not all that different and most of us would include these in our list.

MAKING ADJUSTMENTS: OUR ACTION STEP

Now that we have an infrastructure, a framework, an outline from which to work; we can decide what to keep, what to add, what to omit. So let’s self-evaluate, slowly, consistently and on a continual basis. Once we get ourselves in balance, we change. And we actually do change daily. So, it would make sense to go through this process frequently to see whether the balance in our lives required major or minor tailoring.

A good example might be for us to look at an aircraft in the wind. Whether it’s a hang glider or a jet, as the wind changes, which it does continually, the pilot makes changes to accommodate it, from mini-changes all the way up to rerouting or not flying.

This adjustment is something we should look at daily. It will serve us well.

CONCLUSION

The balance in our lives is really a process. It’s not one place we obtain and stay. As with the wind, there are always new goals, new conditions, new feelings, new advantages, new obstacles for which or from which to adapt.

Whether we compromise to accommodate a loved one or change a spiritual outlook or activity; it is important to include the entire assortment. In the meantime while each person is figuring out balance in our lives, the outline above is a starting point.

ANOTHER NOTE

I always say I am a better editor than I am a writer. In seeing the balance in our lives wheel, above, I immediately began to edit it. But, when we put too many things in, we get lost in the weeds.

So this is good for now. I’m sure tomorrow, I will see something new because I will be new. And so will you.

If you wish to share your story, please hit reply in your email program to be contacted.

If you need habit help, go to warriorsofweight-consulting.

FEEDBACK

We value your feedback very much.

Please leave a comment below.

Please LIKE us on the website and at

WarriorsOfWeight on Facebook.

You can also follow us on Twitter: @warriorsoweight.

Thanks.

DIANE GOLD, PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying peaceful conflict resolution and habit replacement, certified in Whole-Foods Plant-Based Nutrition.

She believes that small, consistent changes in our lives mount to ever improving quality of life improvements. She says,

“If we are consistent and relaxed, we will make ourselves more fluid, more powerful, more meaningful, more healthy than the day before.

“We each look at life from a different perspective. Most of us require similar things, though: love from other people, creativity, productivity, music, art, fitness and a way to make some sort of difference. We each decide how to balance ourselves.

“And, then, there’s the great opportunity. We can make changes at any time. As we feel the need, we change to support our own balance.

“In the meantime, let us all take good care of ourselves, because we are so worth it!”