HOW PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT CAN CHANGE THE WORLD (ISSUE 111)

By Diane Gold

When one person betters herself, the world is better by one person. When many better themselves, this is multiplied. Therefore, personal development changes the world, one person at a time.

But, we may say, personal development is evolution of the individual, and changing the world requires understanding government, corporate and independent machines and acting upon given situations. So how can working inward affect working outward?

The main thing to remember is that we are not stagnant beings; we grow in one direction or the other, so when we cultivate ourselves on a regular basis and facilitate our own flourishing, we are, in essence, changing and improving the world.

PRELUDE TO BEGINNING OR NOT?

Before we can work on ourselves, do we have to stop any downward spiraling that exists from any part of our lives or from any self-limiting beliefs? ABSOLUTELY NOT, NOT NECESSARY, BARRIER THINKING, NO.

There is no need to work toward beginning. We just begin. Yes, in order to be able to pass a standardized test, we may have to take some courses to qualify. But, this is not a prelude; beginning constitutes beginning from wherever we are, so that we can go from there to achievement.

Let’s bold this rule to live by and make it an action step.

ACTION STEP

BEGIN FROM WHEREVER WE ARE. It makes no sense in comparing ourselves to someone else, because we are not someone else. We will always be ourselves, so let’s begin from where we stand. We can learn characteristics and skills of others, but we will always be ourselves and available to become higher humans.

TYPES OF PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

Let’s look at some of the different ways people develop themselves.

Some of us read books. Many of us believe we are helping ourselves by the mere fact that we have purchased and read a book from the self-help section of the book store (the placebo effect). That’s a good thing, though. It promotes balanced people which creates a more stable world.

Others of us mingle with great humans and take on a little of each of them through every connection.

Others of us go to support groups or prayer groups, where there is a leader. The leader discusses, speaks; hopefully we get a chance to speak. Definitely we get the chance to learn to learn.

There is also the newer group model for creating a solution, where there is no leader for an agenda-driven gathering, but participant’s input creates the solution.

Another type of personal development fortifies us by our absorption of the very method we are studying. Tai chi, the other martial arts, free dance, meditation, yoga are disciplines in this mind-body arts category. Music, visual art, poetry are in the creative arts category. By studying any of these methods, we consume a system of learning. This system develops who we are. This development fortifies the world.

MY RECENT PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT EXPERIENCE AT  5-RHYTHMS’ DANCE SESSION

I had the pleasure of attending a 5-Rhythms’ dance session on Friday, January 3, led by Amber Ryan, in Miami. The purpose of the session was to spread goodness, to cleanse the body, mind and spirit and resonate with learning about ourselves. The ultimate goal was use the dance method (which is a method of doing your own steps with a little bit of guidance) to shake off all our own personal garbage so that we could let our own inherent love shine through.

What is important to me about this session is that we are not told what to do or what step to dance. This freedom allows me to learn and grow. The instructor guides us on what part of our body on which to focus. Most of the time, though, we are dancing freely, with no instruction, just moving to the music, between 100 and 126 BPM (beats per minute, which you may remember from some of my other articles or from your own knowledge base – for reference, the heart beats at about 60 or 70 BPM). It is the least egocentric dance discipline I have seen. That’s because people are busy getting to know themselves, rather than comparing their dance moves to others. There is a guide, but there are no leaders.

I was very involved in the dance. But the word love came up several times. One of the other partners in the event kept expressing how she felt “so much love;” whether this was inside herself or from the group, I will not speculate. Although I could speculate because I felt some kind of love-y feeling inside, radiating out to the group and back to me. Nothing ethereal, I was heated from dancing. I was happy from releasing the tension in my body through dancing. I was dancing with others, one of my favorite activities. And I was socializing with people who had nothing, at that moment, to prove.

EUREKA

I realized that developing this positive inner feeling was personal development at its finest. If everyone were developing this joyous feeling within, we would be employing the changing the world principle, making positive humans, one individual at a time. By multiplying one times the number of people working on themselves, the world became kinder, more confident, more respectful, more social in a gentle way, with better human beings.

TAI CHI ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

I know this EUREKA PRINCIPLE to be true from tai chi, also. Because of the biological effects of doing it and the concentration required to execute it; we feel balanced, moral, cleansed, helpful to others from the inside out as well as the outside in. And, here, I can clarify that the dancing I mentioned earlier uses the same principles to move the arms, the body, the legs, the head and to personally develop the self.

CONCLUSION: HOW PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT CAN CHANGE THE WORLD

We know that personal development is individualistic, but individuals make up the world. We know that if we develop ourselves through certain disciplines, we will become spiritually rich humans and contribute good acts in the world.

When we as people become better rounded, we contribute good deeds. Lots of individual good deeds changes the world, as the more personal development we do, the more our generosity prevails and the more, we contribute 1 individual at a time.

When we as people become better rounded, we contribute good deeds. Lots of individual good deeds changes the world, as the more personal development we do, the more our generosity prevails and the more, we contribute 1 individual at a time.

ACTION STEPS

Here are several steps that might be of interest to further our personal development.

1)   Choose a discipline to do on a daily basis. (It works best if you are receiving non commercial gain from said discipline. Example: this is not about painting a picture in order to sell it.)

2)   Decide on an amount of time to which you commit that is comfortable to you: 10 seconds a day or 15 minutes a day. Once you pick a number, it cannot decrease. Also, take note: once you increase your time on any one day, your increase now becomes your new daily duration of time for the discipline.

3)   Do the discipline every day before the end of your day (works best in morning, if this works for your schedule).

4)   After 30 days, decide whether you are a better human being because of this discipline.

5)  No matter what the answer, do it another 15 days. Remember this can be 10 seconds a day or 15 minutes.

6)   At the end of the 45th day, decide whether it is making you peaceful, happy, relaxed, creative, motivated, balanced. If yes, keep going. If not, go to 1).

RESEARCH NOTE

According to neuroeconomist, P.J. Zak’s research, we do good acts to maintain our position in the community because we are social creatures and wish to stay in favor in our society. When we have our food and shelter, it’s easy and we produce an adequate amount of hormone oxytocin, which gives us our generosity. When we have no food, we are out of balance, will not produce enough oxytocin  and will do anything to survive, thus lose our generosity. This research also mentions the 5% of people who are in great socioeconomic situations but do anti-generous things like take billions of dollars in Ponzi schemes that hurt others. And another 5% of people who renounce their good socioeconomic status to be generous and Mother Theresa-like to others.

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DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition and habit change.

She believes that, in order to change the world, we must first change from the inside, each of us, individually. She says,

“Each of us needs personal development, be it tai chi, music or weekly self-help meetings. In order for us to accommodate our own changes and grow ourselves, this is best done on a daily basis.

“If we all do it, we will all become better people. If we are better people, we are changing the world for the better.”

HABITUAL BEHAVIOR DEVELOPS VALUABLE SKILLS: WANT TO REPLACE A HABIT? (ISSUE 104)

By Diane Gold

We all exhibit habitual behavior. We have developed valuable skills as a result of by the very nature of carrying out our habitual acts. We create an expertise in order to do what it takes to get our reward of choice; we repeat and complete and do it again. This prowess builds in us proficiencies which can translate into positive action in our home life, our work productivity and our own creative projects, even if our habitual behavior is not supportive of our own lives. When we choose to replace our habit with one that is positive to our lives, we already have lots of worthwhile skills to make the change and to accompany us on our journey. And when we have a new and healthy habit; the skills we have shaped will remain!

WHAT IS HABITUAL BEHAVIOR?

Let’s define habitual behavior as a pattern of action that follows an emotional and/or physical craving that leads to some type of internal intake or ingestion, tick, movement, series of actions, that takes place several times a day, once daily or several times a week, and that, when removed without replacement, causes psychic or physical reaction that can be severely painful. When we change the habit, we actively divert our own attention from the expectation of the old reward we couldn’t live without using the same skill set we created in developing the original habitual behavior; this is how we form a new one.

ACTION STEPS

1) Ask yourself if you have a habitual behavior. Only you will know the answer if you want it that way.

2) Ask, on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being most supportive, how supportive this habit is for your life.

3) If your behavior is less than 7, consider changing to another one. (There are action steps and contacts below that can help do this.)

WHAT? I’M WORTHWHILE?

When we have a habitual behavior, it is fair to say we have established some strong core competencies in our lives that, if well directed, make us excellent commodities of financial, social, personal worth. Here are some worthwhile tools we have acquired:

we know how to obtain money for food, even if we spend it to our disadvantage to get the reward a negative habitual behavior;

we know how to obtain money for shelter, even if we spend it to our disadvantage to get the reward from a negative habitual behavior;

we have the personal freedom to consume, which means we are not under military confinement or in jail.

This means we are massively more fortunate than a great percentage of the rest of the world population. Of course, looking at others does our lives no good, since our habitual behavior may be consuming us. The steps below as well as the skills we have created will help us.

THE SKILLS

What is extremely important is the skill set we have acquired to meet the conditions of our habitual behavior. Many mirror the traits of very successful people whose habitual behavior is not a detriment to their lives:

we have courage as we, alone, are dealing with ourselves,

 we have ingenuity enough to have devised a way to live with our habitual behavior in our lives,

(remembering some not so uncommon ingenuity: Bobby M. had devised a lifestyle for himself around weather. He would steal saleable merchandise from cars to get drug money (which led to his reward feeling) from April to September and then get arrested and jailed from October to March. He was on the street attending to his habitual behavior for the warm weather and getting 3 square meals and adequate shelter, courtesy of the City of New York, in the cold weather.)

we have organization skills in order to get what we want,

we have timing so that we have the object of our habit as frequently as we need it,

we have focus so that we take the right actions to get what we want,

we have drive to get what we want,

we have diplomacy to get what we want,

we have conflict resolution experience from juggling and managing our habitual behavior.

These traits are a great foundation we have already built and mean that we do have something to offer on the other side should we decide to replace our habitual behavior. Many employers, organizations, friends, families value the characteristics in us we already possess.

ACTION STEPS TO CONVERT NEGATIVE HABITUAL BEHAVIOR INTO POSITIVE HABITUAL BEHAVIOR

In order to change a habit, we have to replace it. We do this by replacing the step we take to achieve our reward. In order to achieve this, we need take the same new step at the exact time we get our craving, our trigger, our cue, every time. This action will become familiar and will replace the old action, if we repeat it long enough, knowing it will become more manageable after the first month.

CAUTION

I’m not saying it gets easy. I am saying urges do get manageable and go away, in some of us, for long periods of time. The only requirement is BLIND REPETITION, not strength, not faith, not self-esteem, not friends, not psychological evaluation, not judging ourselves or others, only BLIND REPETITION.

THE ACTION STEPS

1) Immediately drink 1 full large glass of water. This means always have water with you, should you get a cue that previously triggered you to your old habitual behavior, when out in the world.

2) Take a minute out from whatever you are doing and listen to this song:

https://soundcloud.com/benladesh/ben-la-desh-why-dont-you.

Glue yourself to a chair and move the body to the beat for 1 or 2 minutes. Close your eyes, too. If you want to stand up and dance, do it after the first minute. After the first time you use this technique, go get a danceable song you can always take with you,  should you get a cue to consume when out in the world. Planning which song and how quickly you can get to it is the key.

And don’t say you can’t figure out a way to be excused from whatever you are doing for one minute. Think of all the manipulating ways you slipped away in the past to fulfill your previous rewards.

3) Call a friend or acquaintance to talk you through the urge, a friend who is prepared to take your call at any time, day or night. Drink a second glass of water while you are on the phone.

If you don’t have anyone you know who can be available for you – or you’re not comfortable asking – call 2-1-1 from your phone. This works in 90% of the United States. If 2-1-1 does not work, 1-800-552-1183 works from a touch-tone phone and for VoIP phones. 80 countries (including the European Union and Australia) use 112.

4) Immediately upon feeling your urge to act out your habitual behavior, go for a 5 minute run. If you don’t have the ability to go outside; go into the rest room, and run in place. If you are wearing heels, put down a few pieces of paper towel, take off your shoes and go, go, go. Time yourself.

5) Drink another glass of water after all these other activities. By this time, you should have diluted the urge to the point where you can manage it.

6) If your habitual behavior is not overeating, eat a meal immediately. To fulfill this one, it is always necessary to have some sort of meal with you at all times.

7) [or 6) if your habitual behavior is overeating] If you are home or can get to a rest room, brush your teeth as a symbol of starting a clean slate. This means carry a mini tube of toothpaste with you. Remember, this is no weirder than actions you’ve taken to get your old reward.

CONCLUSION

Most of the time, we develop habitual behavior because we experience grief, anger or limited self-esteem. These can come from abuse, crisis, death, sickness and whatever our mind conjures, since feelings are irrational and show up when they show up. Since we have a myriad of valuable skills from our habitual behavior, we are worthy, since worth is calculated by our collection of  respectable, attention-getting skills.

Even if we don’t feel it and even if no one has recognized us or commissioned us yet, we are worthy in terms of the definition.  In my personal opinion, everyone is worthy in some way, even if evaluators or teachers have not found the way for our subject to exhibit worthwhile behavior.

We can recognize, intellectually, anyway, that we have marketable, communication skills of merit by the very nature of our success at managing our habitual behavior. When we use them to the greater good (ours or that of the universe), we flourish. One step at a time, no thoughts, only action, power in our essence, using our valuable skills to change ourselves and the world.

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DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition and habit change.

When we do anything else, we are elevating our skill set. The great set of skills we develop through habit behavior is no exception. She says,

“We have lots of favorable circumstance, as long as we are able to notice it. When we are consumed with negative habitual behavior, our lives are chaotic, messy, explosive; and our vision is dim. We miss opportunities at every turn as we are busy rewarding ourselves. Until we replace our habit.

“We have the group of skills that can change a habit, get us a new career or creative project and take us in a new direction.

“It is not impossible; all it takes is blind repetition which takes only one step. There are many resources available to help along the way, including the action steps in this issue. They work. I know. Put on carriage horse blinders and choose your direction. You can do it.”

TAI CHI: HOW TAI CHI CAN POSITION US TO CHANGE THE WORLD (Issue 25)

in honor of: World Tai Chi and Chi Kung Day 2012 – Apr. 28 – 10 am

by Diane Gold

This coming Saturday, April 28, is my birthday. Oh, wait. Broadcasting this fact is the very opposite of our message here: that of getting away from me, me, me. This article is about the power we have as developed individuals to make a difference on global issues.

Tai chi, chi kung and other mind/body training teach us self-cultivation. Alone, the training can make us remarkably well-tuned, aware and healthy. However, we may classify it as the “what’s in it for me” attitude if we don’t take it further. With continual training, the true goal of mind/body teachings – to inspire, cultivate and motivate change for humanity – is realized and embodied. When people dabble, they rarely learn this true purpose. So, let’s begin again.

Of interest to all is that World Tai Chi and Chi Kung Day, April 28, 2012, is a world event, the 14th annual. It is a coming together of tai chi and chi kung teachers, students and community members to do tai chi and chi kung and view lively demonstrations.

What’s bigger about it than just doing tai chi and chi kung as a group is how it can make change. Although it introduces people to tai chi and chi kung that can heal our bodies, minds and spirits; the real treasure that most people don’t get to, because they see it as an exercise program, is that the strength and understanding we get from the program gives us the power and the incentive to do good. If we stop at fixing our arthritis, our weight or our mental stability; the world is still better off because we are better human beings from the training. But, that is small scale. If, however, we take it to the next level, which comes with “time, experience and inner balance,” we will find it our duty to take humanitarian action to cause and be change.

Nicole Brochu, journalist at the Sun-Sentinel in South Florida, opens her coverage of World Tai Chi Day by saying,

“Think of it as the yoga version of a tandem flash mob.”

I like that image. Let this flamboyant vision not lead us away from the grand ultimate purpose of tai chi in 2012, which is not a display for publicity, a way to get a date, a way to be cool or marketing for consumerism; although all of these things may happen as a result of doing the training in a public place. The point is to spread peace, harmony and unity through exposing people to movement that changes mindset leading to global action. Change in mindset, as with any discipline, is a process.

Tai chi is a way of being. World Tai Chi and Chi Kung Day is an event to harness the harmony, compassion and balance of the tai chi way. What we do with the embodiment of harmony determines how and whether we will make a difference in the world. If we keep our tai chi-found bliss for ourselves, our opportunity to impact our world is minimized. We are still younger, more vibrant, happier people; but it has been scientifically shown that, if we give of ourselves, we get it back exponentially. And if we don’t, it may not grow.

When people do tai chi once, it’s rare that they gain enough wisdom and momentum from it to become landmarks of social change because of tai chi energy. With experience doing tai chi; commitment and understanding grow in a way where practitioners are more driven to help humanity. The rooting learned as a physical exercise transfers to personally ground the motivated leader.

Similarly, when we go on a weight loss program and gain wisdom through the success of action; we gain a spiritual connection with ourselves. When we choose to keep our stories to ourselves, meaning the “what’s in it for me” attitude; we have improved ourselves only. If we share what we have accomplished – our story, our knowledge – we help others.

Another example is that, when we attend a seminar, we become motivated to act. The internal motivation we get usually dissipates within 48 hours into non-action. It’s not that we are lazy lugs; it is because we need continued exposure for the motivation to stick and develop our minds. If we study the seminar subject for 3 hours every week for 52 weeks; we have an arsenal of knowledge that will stay with us.

THE CHANGE

When the physical work of tai chi causes us to become more tranquil, we have made the first change.

The second part is that we take this peace we have created and give it back to the world. This can be in a number of ways:

1)    Through being a positive influence in the world, which causes more positive energy to exist.

2)    Through being kind to others.

3)    Through mediating arguments in day-to-day life using the skills that personal balance supplies.

4)    Through teaching others how to live a harmonious existence.

5)    Through volunteering services or choosing a business that helps the world.

MAKING WORLD CHANGE

When someone has a belief system and talks about it, isn’t this a step toward change? Since we know marketing is everything, it depends upon how many people hear about the idea and its benefits.

Take any large religious group. The spread of a belief system caused changes in behavior. These changes cause mindset change. This mindset change causes global action.

Take any political system. The spread of support for a system causes change in behavior. These changes mindset change, which, in turn, cause political change.

Take tai chi. Its personal benefits help personal struggles. People minimize depression, arthritis, vertigo and anger, by doing tai chi. Without this help, people wouldn’t be available as thinking, acting, supporting, inspired individuals; they would be busy struggling. The tai chi causes biological changes. These changes cause spiritual development. This development takes us to pursue personal and global passions.

PASSION

People who do tai chi and chi kung, like many who are committed to other studies, are privileged. They can do meditation-on-demand (similar to Dish TV on demand) by accessing their own internal renewable energy. And there’s no monthly bill for the energy.

There is nothing more special than this ability to harness our own power, focus and noise buffering. We become tai chi, rather than doing it. Analogous, we go from waving hands and doing movement to becoming responsible to our world.

POPULARITY

Some of us are socially conscious leaders who have become popular. We have best-selling books, make appearances as motivational speakers and mentors. We engage the masses, command an audience and have built an access point to change the world. After all, isn’t changing the world, changing many minds at a time so that they take action and keep taking action until a goal is met? Without the popularity, we can be creative to make a global change, as long as we are heard.

If I do tai chi and teach 8 students, then 8 minds get changed. If these 8 students have 8 students, then 64 minds get changed. If these 64 have 8 students, then 512 minds get changed. If this group of 512 goes to 1 of the 300 World Tai Chi And Chi Kung Day events and mingles with the 512 students of each of 10 other teachers; that’s 5,632 minds at 300 events. That’s over a million changed minds, which is the power of community.

SOCIAL PROOF

In our consumeristic society, why do we hire celebrities to campaign for us? It is because listeners, buyers and joiners act because they see others acting. The concept of “social proof” is, oh, so common.

If the popular people are doing it, others will follow. If the obscure people are doing it, although it may be just as valid, others usually will look away.

Tai chi training teaches us to act based on ourselves. The knowledge of right and wrong leads to global action.

PHILOSOPHY

Because tai chi is a martial art, I will mention one tenets of a true martial artist. And that has to do with caring for humanity. Skills are honed for the betterment of the world. Martial artists train to fight for social justice, whatever brand it is, whether this means temperance and patience or assertion and mobilization. Their actions change the world.

CONCLUSION

We each change the world by the minute actions we take, by the minute thoughts we have, by our very connections to each other. We bring ourselves with us when we act. When we develop ourselves through going to an event such as World Tai Chi Day, taking a seminar or studying auto mechanics; we cultivate ourselves and bring that development with us. The more advanced we are, the higher the synergy created, the bigger the action that ensues. The more we work on change, the more change occurs.

ACTION STEP

Pick one goal related to a passion, and study it for 30 days, whether it’s saving the world or saving yourself. Write down what you have achieved in that short time and, somehow, keep going.

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DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Moms For Healthy Daughters, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music and stress expert and a dedicated mom. She believes we can all make a positive difference in the world. She says, “Some go about it from the inside out; others self-develop through fixing the world. Either way its done, we are all on the human mission. Decide whether you will get side-tracked.”