3 FEELINGS THAT CAN CAUSE TEEN GIRLS TO GAIN WEIGHT PLUS UNIQUE SOLUTIONS AND FOOD TIPS FOR EACH (ISSUE 51)
By Diane Gold
We are all so similar in so many ways that it is highly phenomenal that each of us has such a unique perspective, belief system and way of being. We all feel less than balanced about something. Funny how we can be so strong in 1 area and so miserably shaky in another.
We can all understand each other’s feelings if we bother to stop being so exclusively absorbed in our own lives. Today, we will look at the similar feelings that teen girls have that make them gain weight. We think we are the only ones who feel what we feel. This couldn’t be farther from the truth.
I feel big, I don’t like it and no one else worries about this issue the way that I do. Or even if someone else is concerned, that doesn’t make me feel better.
ACTION STEP BEFORE RUNNING TO EAT
1) Go into the privacy of your own room or in a bathroom, if you don’t have your own room. If no private bathroom, you will have to work on putting up a temporary curtain for privacy (a clothesline and a sheet will make a good one).
2) Sit on your bed or some kind of chair.
3) Touch your R shoulder with your L hand and your L shoulder with your R hand, so that your arms will be criss-crossed.
4) Close your eyes.
5) Let the palms slide all the way down with light pressure, all the way to the wrists.
6) Realize the strength in your arms and your hands, and think of all the talents they have. Stick with me here. I have a point.
7) Imagine you are the most popular girl in school touching her arms. She has many talents for her arms, too.
8) Imagine you are the girl whose family lives in the street, and she is touching her arms. Again, she has performed many tasks with those arms.
9) Now, realize that we all use our arms and hands in similar ways and that this small exercise makes us similar, not different.
This exercise is not a big revelation, but, in doing the exercise, we see, immediately, at least, 1 similarity, unlike when we see ourselves as big vs. someone who is small.
So, next time we feel big vs. small, let us stop for a moment and do this exercise to feel our power, to feel how similar we are to others and to be calm in a quiet, meditative place.
Now, have a healthy snack such as an apple or sauteed carrots with a big glass of water.
No one can love me because I am big.
The first 8 words of the previous sentence are probably the most common 8 words in our mind. The 9th word, in this case, pertains to weight. But anything can be put in its place. We all, at one time or other, feel that we can’t find love because of some way we are.
We’re too short, our skin is wrong, our voice sounds squeaky, we have a mole on our face, we limp, we wear a prosthetic.
Mostly, we just feel don’t like the way we feel.
The only thing to do here is to understand that this is a universal feeling and that it’s our job to get ourselves to the next place.
ACTION STEP FOR SCHOOL BEFORE EATING
1) Survey the students at school. (If you are home schooled, do this survey with the other home schoolers.) Tell everyone you are doing a research project for the school paper or community news. Make sure you team up with the school paper or community news, so that the editor will publish the results when you get them and help put the results into an article.
2) Tell people you will not publish their names.
3) Have people finish the statement,
“No one can love me because I am _____________________.”
Collect the answers, and you will see that everyone can complete the sentence in some way.
Variation 1) Another way to collect the information is to put their answer in a fishbowl anonymously. More people would be likely to answer if they knew there was no way their secrets could become exposed, but that’s not always possible in every school or community.
Variation 2) You can put this question on a website and have people comment anonymously. If you are interested in this variation, please contact us, and we will arrange to make you a page on WarriorsOfWeight.com for this purpose.
Now, have a healthy snack such as fresh, organic romaine lettuce leaves, just washed. It’s amazing how filling they are if eaten slowly. Also, drink a glass of water.
I don’t want to smile because I’m ugly, at my weight or at any weight.
Of course, we know that smiling is better than frowning. It actually makes us happier, studies have shown. And smiles bring people to us; frowns, unfortunately, push people away. So what do you say to a great exercise for smiling?
ACTION STEP BEFORE EATING
1) Take time out in a quiet, private place, as in action step 1).
2) Frown or keep the face devoid of a smile.
3) Make sure you are in a safe place, sitting on a chair; and close your eyes. Work as if you will not have your sight for the first 9 steps of the exercise. Develop the sensitivity of a sightless person.
4) Place the palms on the face, and examine the frown position, as if it is the first time you have ever felt your face. (It might be the first.)
5) Take as much time as needed without opening the eyes.
6) When ready, turn the frown to a smile with eyes closed.
7) Notice the differences in the structure of the face.
8) Notice how we take our sight for granted, and be happy about having yours. I’m grateful for mine.
9) Doesn’t the smile make you laugh when you feel the face breaking into a smile? It does make me laugh. It is quite fascinating how the entire face changes under the skin from such a thing as a smile.
10) Relax and smile with eyes open.
We are much more beautiful when we smile. I, personally, look a good 10 years older when I don’t smile. And, when I do, I’m all teeth. But the happiness is in the smile.
Smiling feels good if we hold our face, too, as we just experienced. Have fun working your smile. It can get you through some tough times.
Now, for fun, go get a snack food, preferably something solid, like an apple. Smile while eating it and feel your face at the same time. This will slow down the eating process, always a good thing. It’s also more challenging to keep the food in your mouth if you eat with a smile, tempering the eating process.
Imagine you love a very large person. You aren’t loving the person because s/he is large or small. You may love her bigness or smallness. You aren’t loving her because she has brown eyes, although you may appreciate the brown eyes. You are not loving her because she has brown hair. These physical traits have nothing to do with why you love her. These traits may make her easy to look at, but trait appeal is not love, not at all.
In the same way, when someone loves you, and someone definitely does, it is not because of your size, your eyes, your hair; it is because you are who you are.
It’s easy for us to see that when we lose someone, we all feel the same pain, the same feeling. Likewise, we figure that feeling sick or breaking an arm feels the same whether we are large or small. But when we feel bad about ourselves, it’s hard to realize that we all have similar feelings, more or less, at 1 time or other, in our lives.
It sometimes helps to find inventive ways of extending the universal understanding that we all have similar feelings and are not alone.
Small action steps to these feelings make HUGE differences. Especially if they are repeated. Give the action steps a go, and enjoy the journey.
We are with you, have been where you are and are here when you reach out.
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If you need a hand, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Help is right here.
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DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR
Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Moms For Healthy Daughters, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert and a dedicated mom.
She moves along observing behavior, continually seeing the similar ways we act, feel and are. She says,
“It is truly helpful when we know we are like each other. Of course, there is the other side of some of us that enjoys being unique. But when feeling bad, we want to know that people understand us, that we are not freaks, that others are going through the same thing and that we can get through it.
“When there is a hurricane, we stand together united. We make each other feel better, we share electricity, ice, food and bandages. We are thrown together in union when there is a weather disaster. We must take the time to unite in what matters to each to us throughout our lives: our peace of mind and peace of homeland.
“Ï believe that anyone reading this is living in the generation that will learn this compassion through the need to learn it.
“Let us learn to enjoy our sameness, learn to love our uniqueness and, through understanding, learn the principles of peace and helping each other along the way.”
For help, check out 1-Step Consulting.
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