CROSSROADS: SUCCESSFULLY CHOOSING THE WAY WE MAKE DECISIONS (ISSUE 58)
By Diane Gold
Congratulations. The crossroads ahead is a grand opportunity.
The definition for crossroads is intersection, focal point, turning point. This means a crossroads is a time in life that is perpendicular to, yet entwined with, whatever is happening in life. It also means we are giving razor sharp attention to an issue. And, finally, it means we are going to evaluate the best direction we can take to efficiently support the most positive development of our lives.
When we decide we are going to change our weight to help ourselves, we are at a crossroads. This also holds true when we take time to decide to buy solar cars, LED lights, compost our food waste, forgive someone, go back to school, have a baby, or join a peace process. We will furnish this article with weight loss in mind, although our world, our humanity, currently, is at a major crossroads of what makes sense to sustain the human race well.
The weight loss goal is huge because it relates to almost every aspect of our everyday lives. Often times, we have to change many behaviors of our eating process in order to change 1: the way we move, the way we rest and the restaurant or food preparation routines we have grown to love.
Fortunately and happily for us, we get to develop new and wonderful ways of acting in all these areas. Imagine finding the most delectable food at our new favorite restaurant or cooking healthier, lighter, more satisfying foods for ourselves and any others who are in our lives. And what about the prospect of developing new friends who also eat well and care for their bodies. This is a real treat.
Remember the story about the man in the flood who didn’t take a ride in his neighbor’s car because he said he was waiting for god to save him? And when the water rose and he fled to his second floor, he still wouldn’t take an escape ride from a fire truck because god was going to save him? And after the water rose and he fled to his roof, he still wouldn’t take a ride when a helicopter threw down a ladder because he was waiting for god to save him? And, when he reached heaven and asked god why he hadn’t saved him, and god said,
“I sent you a car, a fire truck and a helicopter; and wasn’t that enough?”
It’s a story about crossroads and opportunity. We have many throughout our time. Whether we see the right cues determines our outcome. Some people go with the flow automatically. Others fight the inevitable or refuse to be flexible.
I know it always takes me a few minutes to process the possibility of change, a few minutes to get used to the idea and another several minutes to accept the change. This usually takes a good 30 minutes. It’s very comforting to watch myself through this process. I usually laugh at myself during it, as I am so predictable to myself. Luckily for me, because of my mother’s bright attitude and the practicality for which my martial arts work has prepared me, I always, and I mean always, end up looking for the good in the crossroads.
Certainly, it’s not always fun to shake ourselves up and make life changing decisions that will take us down new paths and throw us into a new direction that we might not have orchestrated entirely or at all. But, to see it as an opportunity, opens up great promise.
So what are the choices we have before us?
1) We can rebel and stomp our feet at our new situation. If we turn music on and stomp to it, we can turn our reaction into a totally therapeutic action. Verbalizing to the music helps us to accept the change, too, as is done in improv or rap.
2) We can resent our situation and turn our grudge inward. Obviously, this weighs us down and needs a replacement strategy.
3) We can remain calm, ask for help if we need it and look at the pros of our new situation. Of course, it’s always good to be balanced and positive. Not always easy and not always sensible. It always pays to stay aware and focused.
Whichever direction we choose at our crossroads; the happier, healthier, more fulfilled we become, the better life we are creating for ourselves. So, we can agree that to give ourselves extra weight of any kind changes balance, confidence and peace of mind. That’s why no matter which crossroads are in front of us, the same action process applies.
Pick 1)(a) or 1)(b) to start.
1)(a) Pick a crossroads in front of you that has to do with replacing bad fat 1 time a week with good fat 1 time a week OR
1)(b) Pick a crossroads in front of you that has to do with moving to a town where you have to change schools or jobs and don’t know anyone.
2) Prepare to make a list of the pros and cons that come along with 1 of these crossroads. They will both affect the appetite. Also, feel free to substitute the crossroads.
3) Write 5 pros and 5 cons for the scenario you choose. Here’s an example of 1)(a), such as
PRO: “I want to lose weight and changing bad fat to good fat 1 time a week will start to cleanse my body.”
CON: “I won’t be able to use my beloved fat to calm down on the day I don’t use the bad fat. Can I handle it? Yes.”
4) Prioritize the pros and cons, eliminating the bottom 2.
5) Finally, pick the biggest pro and the biggest con and proceed in a way that will improve you.
6) To top it off, write a few sentences on how you will maximize the pro, including 3 action steps you would like to make happen. Send it to us, either just to declare it or if you would like to share it. If you are stuck at any point, let us know so we can help you.
Life is full of crossroads. They always show up, in our personal lives and in our lives as global citizens. Every time we make a life decision, we are at a crossroads. Every time we vote, we are at a crossroads. We can look at our choices as necessary steps leading us forward. We can also savor the opportunities they bring and use the pro and con method to ensure that we come to the most efficient understanding of our crossroads as they arrive.
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DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR
Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Moms For Healthy Daughters, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert and a dedicated mom.
She likes to feel strong and very much enjoys using many body parts at the same time. She says,
“When we engage in an exercise that seems to use 1 part of the body alone, we are really accessing so many other body parts and body systems that we have an opportunity to rejuvenate ourselves each time. When we do 1 simple exercise correctly, it starts a chain reaction that manifests in other parts of our mind and body than the 1 whose name is in the title slot. It’s good to focus the attention on 1 body part with the understanding that each exercise affects many.”
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