THE ONE NECESSARY SUCCESS HABIT ANYONE CAN LEARN: AND HOW TO DEVELOP IT! (ISSUE 86)

By Diane Gold

It would seem that it’d be hard to pinpoint one success habit that we need to succeed. But, it’s right in front of us and we all use it or lose it. The great thing is that everyone, more or less, can learn it. With respect to the developmentally delayed and emotionally fraught people I have and have not worked with and respect, it’s as easy as putting one foot in front of the other.

Let’s review the habit process, first. It is a behavior we have repeated over and over again after a cue which takes away pain or gives pleasure. We know that something TRIGGERs us to TAKE AN ACTION after which we get some type of result, commonly called a REWARD. This result or reward can be the joy of selling someone a product or an idea, which makes us feel powerful even though we often bill our mission as helping others.

OR it can be the joy we feel from the chemical change caused by taking some drug, alcohol or tobacco-like product, which we bill as fun but is usually to hide our lack of self-esteem. Or it can be the relief (joy) of preventing our bodies from going into withdrawal from lack of some drug to which we have developed a chemical dependence. It can even be as simple as the joy and focus we feel from taking a shower and feeling clean. In the latter example, we get up and feel dirty. This feeling triggers us to take a shower which leads us to feel that newness we feel after our skin is clean.

Okay, the one necessary success habit is not taking a shower, although most successful people respect themselves and others which would include bathing on a regular basis.

THE HABIT

THE HABIT is to take one step after we fall, collapse, fail a test, fumble a deal, lose our status, get insulted, get demoted, fail a test, get fired, separate from a significant other, get embarrassed or get knocked down. Commit to this one step. When we go to take it, it might be the most unsure move we have ever taken, or so it feels at the time. It is crucial.

THE ACTION STEP

Here’s the easiest way to take that step which has a time limit on it.

For just about anything, go out in the world for a walk and a talk. You may not have a smile on your face when you leave, but your perspective will be different when you return. That is the way we are built. Any little distraction, like a walk or a few words with another person, changes where we were headed the moment before – if we let it. (When we are focused on positive goals, we often choose to ignore these distractions. However, after a fall, distractions heal us.)

If you were fired from a job, send out one cover letter and resume within 24 hours. Not that you are interested in job hunting now, but the action step will insure that you cement the habit to get up after falling. Remember, we are creating THE ONE NECESSARY HABIT that will lead to success.

If your relationship broke up, talk to someone within 24 hours, even if it’s the server at the local  coffee shop. Talk about anything, but connect with a human being. If possible, be with a group of happy people and talk about incidental things, dance, shoot golf balls.

If you fell off the wagon – any wagon – meaning you used drugs, drank alcohol or gorged yourself after a period of abstinence; celebrate that you are starting your first day toward your goal by telling a member of your support system within 24 hours. If you don’t have a support system, go to a library and talk to a librarian or go to the corner store and say hello to the owner. Talk about anything, but connect with a human being, outside, in the flesh.

If you gambled your rent away or just lost your retirement fund in a financial crash; go talk to the poorest person you know or have seen and talk about what is important in life. You might see life from a different angle after the talk. And it might help with your fall.

Obviously, the idea is to make a move. Whether it’s walking, talking, dance, seeking out a poor person, sending a resume; the idea is to move forward to minimize the down time. When we tell another, we are opening up our negative dyke and allowing ourselves to let go of our disappointment and lead ourselves on a new path.

CAUTION

Do not wait to feel like taking a step. That’s the trick! You will not feel it right away. You will want to take time and beat yourself up. You can beat yourself up after you make a move, which means after you begin to form your new success habit. You can self-beat in 48 hours, if you still want to. But, within 24 hours, follow the action steps.

ADDITIONAL ACTION STEP ONE

Make sure to lie down to rest early on the day of the fall. Sleep heals.
If you can’t get to sleep, play some kind of word game until you feel sleepy, knowing that sleep will heal you to some extent and that you will need your strength for your action step.

ADDITIONAL ACTION STEP TWO

If we have experienced a chemical set back, meaning we have overeaten or done drugs or alcohol; our body will be in the fight or flight mode. Therefore, we will have to be aware that we will be getting cues to repeat the “fall” behavior. Every time we get our cue to do excess food or drugs or alcohol, we need to act according to plan.

Here’s the plan: we will drink a glass or two of water every time we get an urge. This will diminish and probably remove the urge or cue temporarily. The cues will become fewer and fewer and more controllable in time. And we can go on about our business without the fall we have just experienced. Our new reward will be our pride in self, our relief at moving toward our goal and development of our new great habit.

CONCLUSION

The important thing about learning the one necessary success habit is to follow through on a daily basis toward the goal we have set for ourselves. With substance abuse, when we get that urge, that cue to behave in a way that does not support our goals, we need to have a planned activity in mind so that we can take a positive action and get our reward. With losing face or money, the planned activity will be to take a step toward our goal within 24 hours AS IF we felt like it.

We each form our habits based on our personalities, our goals, how we were raised and how much repetition we have had at forming them. The more we plan and follow through with them, the more natural it will be to form a habit that helps us. And getting up after a fall is key. It puts us in position to have an internal resource for success, no matter what happens.

FEEDBACK

Please leave  a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She loves talking about habits and tiny but crucial strategies to develop good ones out of the ones that no longer empower us or never did. She says,

“With a little focus, we can beat the habit game. We can learn how to manipulate our own habits and use them to our advantage rather than have them be detrimental to us. All we need is a little awareness, a little one-pointed attention and a little faith and we can re-learn how to develop a habit to our standards.”

THE GRADE GAME: SUCCESSFUL HABITS IN EDUCATION (ISSUE 77)

By Diane Gold

The grade game refers to the habit of using grades to determine success in education. This measurement system is known all over the world. How often does it work?

We, in the United States, believe in preparing our children without taking away their childhood or spontaneity. Other countries put more emphasis on learning by ingesting knowledge and less on childhood freedoms.

For the most part, we use the grade game to measure success. We are always making attempts to improve upon our system, upgrading the ineffective parts, creatively adding the new and keeping what works.

It was just the other day in around 1972 that New York University opened University Without Walls, a Bachelors Degree curriculum based upon student interests and goals and independent study (currently called The Gallatin School of Individualized Study) rather than the standard core courses for a Liberal Arts Degree conjured by someone completely impersonal to the particular student. This progressive college inside the main university was founded to accommodate the rote method of learning and to allow students motivated by their own interests to flourish.

Maria Montessori created a system of learning that was based upon student choice of activity within a formulaic systematic approach. This approach was different from the regular public school classroom that taught the same curriculum to every child. When my son was in such a school, he learned many skills and satisfied his own creativity through “working” on projects that he chose in his timing.

There were other school models that taught one color per year as opposed to the ROYGBIV method of learning.  There were the Free Schools which mirrored the philosophy of University Without Walls, above.

All these methods created education habits, in the student, the parent and the teacher. When the grade game was involved, all the players had “good grade” expectations and all that comes with that.

I read an article by Michael Thomsen, “The Case Against Grades,” at Slate.com the other day. In it, he supports the trend moving away from grades in school. He talks about the “negative reinforcement” that comes from this type of system. Having been a specialty teacher for 10 years in the New York City and State School Systems, and a private teacher for another several decades, I have first-hand experience at watching students and serving their differences.

Please note that most of my early students were labeled “emotionally disturbed,” many of whom would be called ADD and ADHD, if labeled today. So I saw a version of behavior related to grades far more dramatic than the “average” school-ager.

This is what I saw:

1) Children cut school for fear of failing a test.

2) Children quit school for fear of repercussions from cutting school for fear of failing make up tests or getting overall failing grades.

3) Children got teased over getting poor grades. Their lowered self-esteem from the teasing sapped their motivation to excel.

4) Children became withdrawn or acted delinquently. Both these types of behavior kept the student from focusing on and changing her (his) inadequate feelings, which, typically, caused the behavior in the first place. Both withdrawn and acting-out students develop the habit of acting instead of talking about grades, fear and self-esteem issues. The behavior was perpetuated by the continuation of “the grades game.”

5) Children became adults and grabbed fewer opportunities for themselves because of lost self-esteem. If they had had grade issues throughout their early schooling, they came to adulthood with a whole set of habits that went along with the issues:

a) doing less than their capacity out of fear of failure.

b) keeping silent about their feelings whether they hide in plain sight or through verbosity.
These observations led me to work hard toward teaching students to be independent thinkers who followed their dreams.

FAMILY EXPECTATIONS

Strained relations with family members are created when parents pass judgment upon their kids based on “the grade game.” Those kids with poor grades perceive that love = good grades.

Their “good grades” counterparts learn the same habits, that they are great because their grades are good.  Does this type of judgment system belong in a household?
I used to date someone of Southern Asian descent. He had discipline, and his whole family was completely dedicated to education. What he did not have was a free spirit, devoid of oppression. The male parent regularly ordered him around, he accepted the
orders and he agreed with the tradition.

I was thinking this repressed “hitting the books” family value was the reason we, in the United States, go to school for 180 days, while other countries go for more days. Wrong, incorrect, negative. What I found statistically from the OECD (Organisation For Economic Cooperation And Development) and the World Data On Education in an article by  is that, on average, top academic performing countries like Finland have several 100-300 fewer hours per year in the early grades and 100 fewer hours less than our average in higher grades. Could it be that a shorter educational format creates more relaxed students who are available emotionally better to take tests?

And should tests be the standard by which we measure our students, now that there is so much research showing that individuals do not all develop well using “the grades game?”

WHAT STANDARD?

There are always standards by which we must operate. But, to this day, other than in very free educational institutions, we have not focused our studies of intelligence on understanding who should study what and how to teach families about new systems of childhood education. If the person with mechanical interest is encouraged to pursue activities to develop it; if the girl whose entire family of eight generations of doctors wants to be a musician and is encouraged to play music; and if the son of a family of physicists wants to be a dancer and is encouraged to dance; won’t these people reach their highest potential and serve our world best by pursuing their interests? And if this is true, how can one type of grading system measure their success as students?

Placing children in a molded system that does not embellish their interests and their strengths represses their creativity, curbs their intelligence, crushes their self-worth and perpetuates a system that needs change. Having a system that is evolutionary in nature and is not framed around “the grading game” seems fresh, logical, sensible and
available.

CONCLUSION: WHAT’S NEXT?

Below we examine whether “the grade game” is the way we measure success in education and take steps to improve the way we support our children. The following are some thoughtful action steps, each of which takes just a few minutes, to enrich the life of our student or child and the support success. These steps allow us to notice habits we may have formed and a way to move away from them.

ACTION STEPS

1) Spend some quality time with yourself as a parent or teacher to confirm how you judge “the grade game” for your child, friend, student, world.

2) Spend quality time with your student/child to confirm that love or support and grades are separate.

3) Spend quality time with your student/child to listen to her (his) aspirations.

4) Spend quality time with yourself to see whether you judge your student/child’s aspirations or whether you accept them.

5) Add one behavior that would show you support your student/child’s aspirations.

6) Consider the merits of schools without grades.

FEEDBACK

Please leave  a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She has 25 years in music education and 15 years in martial arts education and personal development. She says,

“Being brought up in “the grade game” taught me a very stiff, non-creative method of measuring my own learning. I’m not sure it is the best way to motivate or instruct people as it hinders true creativity even though it encourages memorization of rote facts. It caused stress that could be avoided with another technique.

“Facilitating the creation of music, art, movement, science in school and the minds that create these are the role of the education system. Any system that does not include these is empty and does not evolve our species.

“Most systems based upon grades and tests have some type of negative effect on the student. Therefore, I would like to see a new non-grade system as a way to gauge success habits in education. Let’s get to work on creating one as the new standard.”

TAI CHI, WALKING & OTHER FITNESS TRAINING: TURNING EXERCISE INTO HABIT (ISSUE 75)

By Diane Gold

Tai chi, walking, fitness classes, playing baseball, dancing, whatever the physical activity is, we want to make it a habit, if we really think about it.

A habit is defined as something whose cue causes a behavior that brings a reward, similar to an endorphin rush from the absence of pain, the joy of sex, walking around the lake or the thrill of completing a tai chi session. Yes, it’s nice to go and do a physical fitness routine. And it’s great that we intellectually “know” that it’s good for us. But, it’s superb if we turn our exercise into a habit.

When a little itch (the cue) causes us to go do tai chi or go walk or go to the gym (the behavior) because we want that amazing endorphin rush (the reward) that follows from the behavior in which we have engaged, we have created a habit. And we can see it’s not the exercise itself that is the habit; it’s experiencing the feeling that follows it.

It’s difficult to see sometimes because we enjoy the exercise. Just doing it doesn’t mean it’s a habit. If it doesn’t become a habit, our dedication to it will probably go away.

PUBLISHER’S NOTE

[It’s easier to see with drugs or alcohol. Look at taking drugs, for a minute. The taking of the drug is the precursor to the pleasure we get from taking the drug. We usually don’t separate that behavior from the reward, since the actual reward comes so quickly after the behavior.
It’s a little easier to see with drinking alcohol and its reward. Since taking a drink doesn’t give the physical reward instantly, we have time to realize that it’s not the drink but the reward that follows that causes the habit of drinking. It should be noted that the alcoholic is busy socializing or being a recluse, but waiting for the effects of the drink, from the moment of the intake of the first drink.

These are the opinions of this writer, from study and from experience.]

REWARDS

The rewards we experience can be “how in touch with ourselves we feel” from tai chi, how good our body looks  from weight bearing exercise, how many ounces we may lose because our appetite has decreased from taking a walk, how sexy we feel from being healthier and more mobile.
Wouldn’t it be supremely wonderful if we loved doing our exercise as much as we loved our favorite dessert?

World Tai Chi and Chi Kung Day is April 27, Saturday, at 10:00 am.

There are events all over the world. It’s free and fun, for newbies or experts.
If you are in Boca Raton, I’m coordinating the Sanborn Square event, my 14th year in Boca. I would be honored to have you attend. Spread the word!

If you’ll be elsewhere, I will look for an event for you if you contact me.
Click HERE for a map to the event in Boca.

DOPAMINE

All studies about habits confirm that the production of dopamine has been connected to reward and motivation. According to Journal Of Neurophysiology, 1998, July, Volume 80, abstract by W. Schultz, it provides a teaching signal for new behaviors.

According to much research, the centers in the ventral tegmental area (VTA), the middle brain near the hippocampus, produce the dopamine that is connected with reward signals.

There is another production center in the substantia nigra, also near the hippocampus, whose underproduction is related to movement issues such as Parkinson’s Disease.

I believe, in terms of reward and motivation, we can learn to influence the regulation of hormones such as these by faithfully repeating 1-step strategies that create new habits.

It should be noted that dopamine production is hugely complex and that self-correction for some of its functions would be a giant breakthrough.

THE WAY WE EXERCISE

Let’s look at the wide variety of ways people exercise.

There are all the ball games: volleyball, baseball, softball, basketball, football, racquetball, soccer, tennis, golf, croquet.

Then we have the mind/body group: tai chi and other martial arts, chi kung, yoga, dance, meditation. I know, you may be saying.

“How can we consider meditation an exercise?”

Here’s the answer. We usually assume a simple position for meditation whether it be seated or standing. This physical posture consumes calories/energy/chi in order to maintain the position, even though we are not moving on the outside.

Then there are a slew of other activities that people do like walking, bike riding, running, weight training, machine training, fitness classes, boating, swimming.

WHAT MAKES IT MIND/BODY TRAINING?

Many of the activities not listed in the mind/body category can very definitely be categorized as training for the mind and body, together. It truly depends upon how the training is done.

When we repeat a system over and over again, we gain a better understanding. When we become adept at a particular physical activity, enough so that we become one with the activity, it becomes mind/body training. In 1980, a then 37-year-old comedian, Chevy Chase, was giving a golf lesson to a 20 year-old caddy in a movie called Caddyshack. He said,

“There’s a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it. Stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.”

In 1980, Eastern philosophy in a United States comedy sounded like comedy, rather than a serious lesson. Chevy’s words above and his saying,

“Hear nothing, feel nothing,”

echoed what happens when we become one with what we are doing. This is one-pointed mind and can happen when we repeat our lessons, whatever they are. (Here’s the scene: youtube.com/watch?v=LGKkmpbhv9k.)

In 2013, it is fairly common for people to meditate and do yoga. Some practitioners do the work as it was meant to be done: as a long term study. Most people just want a quick fix, that quick endorphin rush or the stress relief achieved from reduction of the stress hormone, cortisol, and turn their activities into drive-through exercise, similar to drive-through food. It happens with tai chi and chi kung, too, age old traditions. Schools create quick fix certifications whereby no true foundational learning takes place, and students are allowed to drop in and out of classes as if this method is preferred

CONCLUSION: TURNING EXERCISE INTO HABIT

In the fast-paced world, it is rare that people hunker down and train in one area for any length of time. We usually engage in pinball education, meaning we don’t focus on one type of exercise before we jump to the next one. This type of learning reduces the chance that the exerciser will turn the training into a habit. It just stays as entertainment or the quick fix.

It takes a lot of effort to stick with any one exercise long enough so that we get any proficiency at it. If we do, we will start to get the itch (the cue) to exercise which causes us to train (the behavior), so that we can achieve the reward of personal growth. That’s turning exercise into habit.  It takes knowing ourselves which we usually get from studying one exercise for a while.

Part of learning the skills to an exercise is developing the attitude necessary to be part of it. Otherwise, we’re just entertaining ourselves. Entertainment training is good.  Essence training is better, as I see it.

ACTION STEPS

1)  Consider whether you want entertainment or to add a skill to your life. (Remember Neo’s thrill in the Matrix when he had mastered kung fu in a flash? True satisfaction.)

2)  Once you know which you would like, proceed with that knowledge.

3)  Pick a type of exercise you’d like to do.

4)  Engage in it every other day for as long as you want. When you think about stopping, ask yourself why.

5)  Notice whether your conclusion in 1) has changed. Sometimes, just considering a question such as 1) leads us to new, essential territory.

Some of us like to stay free, and be open to change the type of exercise we do on a regular basis.  Others of us like to dig in to one type of training. As long as it works to support our lives, it’s a good thing.

FEEDBACK

Please leave  a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She has studied people’s duration patterns in physical fitness and mind/body exercise through survey of over 1,000 students in her kung fu/tai chi school. She says,

“Any exercise we do is great. It rejuvenates us and makes us better people. Many of us have been introduced to a variety of activities with the idea that we would become well-rounded. This is good thinking on one hand, but we often miss out on becoming adept through chaos.

“The way we have been raised depends upon the philosophy of our families and caretakers as we grew up. They all meant to enrich our lives.

“Being too strict is repressive. Being too permissive omits discipline. Some families let us jump from one sport to another because it is good to be free in our youth. Others decide we will train in one sport so that we learn focus and how to strive but may start us at age two.

“However we were raised, we have the opportunity now to make a choice. Whatever we decide is OK. It has to fit our lifestyle. It has to support our growth. As long as we keep a good, hearty amount of exercise in our daily lives, we will meet our responsibility and fortify the life that we live.”

THE PEACE PROCESS FORMULA: PHASE 3 (ISSUE 74)

By Diane Gold

The Peace Process Formula is an evolving series of steps that gently create dialogue and resolution of a peace conflict based on our sameness and not our differences. This is Phase 3.

The Peace Process Formula: A Step By Step Guide, was published on December 3, 2012. The process involved a moderator’s talking to 1 person who had experienced geopolitical conflict and really listening to what that person had to say.

The Peace Process Formula: Phase 2, from December 10, 2012, outlined role playing action steps involving a moderator and 2 people from the same conflict role playing leadership roles. They each would have individually been through Phase 1 of the process, where each talked about her (his) experience.

After seeing the documentary, The Two-Sided Story, a peace process story about bringing together bereaved family members from both sides of an age-old conflict; I am convinced, more than ever, that The Peace Process becomes solid when people talk to each other and get to see their humanity in each other. When I watched this movie, it was as if I were seeing this process in a film that I had directed.

The poster for the process at The Parents Circle-Families Forum says,

“It Won’t Stop Until We Talk.”

This seems simple enough, but, as we know, it is not.

Nelson Mandela said,

“…courageous people do not fear forgiving, for the sake of peace.”

This simple quote points to the importance of stepping off our path of revenge for the greater good.

The fact that my family was blown up by your family is a big deterrent in the peace process. My blowing up your family to stop you from future action is another action that stops peace. The heart does not forget, even when we show forgiveness on the outside. So, what are we to do?

What if we tell another bereaved person how we feel? It will be extremely difficult, at first, because we do not want to be in the same room as our opposite bereaved tribe member. If we make the choice to do it, we may see that our feeling of pain and loss is very much the same as that of our fellow bereaved on the other side and that continuing violence upon violence to revenge violence upon violence perpetuates violence upon violence and doesn’t help our loved ones or our children. The big picture shows that both sides of the conflict, whichever one it is, have suffered tremendous losses. History shows that killing begets killing and more sorrow; listening begets understanding and the possibility of peaceful co-existence.

To outline the steps in The Two-Sided Story, participants go through a process:

1) Bereaved people from opposing sides of a conflict share their story, 1 at a time, with the whole group. (Image depicts a generic group.)

2) They continue listening by separating into pairs of opposite tribes and share their story with the opposite tribe member who is sitting next to them.

3) They role play by getting back into the group and speaking as if they are their counterpart, describing what the counterpart has said about life and situation.

4) They become empathetic by talking about how they feel as if they are their counterpart.

5) They notice they are beginning to understanding their partner is not a monster, even if just a little.

This 5-step process, shown in Two-Sided Story, produced by Yoav Leshem, directed by Tor Ben Mayor, created through The Parent’s Circle-Families Forum, resulted in emotional healing, human understanding, personal friendships and a wonderful peace model for others to follow that has begun to be successful.

CATHARSIS

Since The Peace Process Formula is a fluid, open process; we are open to evolve the more we understand and experience. With this said, Phase 3 of the process focuses on sharing the individual perspective. 2 people from opposing tribes will get together with a moderator. To follow is the rationale.

__________________________________________________________________________

WORLD TAI CHI DAY IS A WEEK FROM SATURDAY

World Tai Chi and Chi Kung Day is coming up on April 27, Saturday, at 10:00 am. There are events all over the world. It’s free and fun, for beginners or experienced people. If you are in Boca Raton, I’m coordinating the event at Sanborn Square, my 14th year in Boca. I would be honored to have you attend. Spread the word! If you’re not going to be local, I will look for an event near your location if you contact us.

__________________________________________________________________________

RATIONALE

We know that “what’s in it for me” is always an easy way to get people to listen. If we could bring back the life of a loved one lost in war, we would immediately pay attention. Unfortunately, we cannot. If we could erase the hatred our neighbor has for us, we would.

What we can do is save ourselves from resentment, vengeful thoughts, anger and more violence. The steps to do this are not so flashy or fancy; but, when we receive some personal benefit from an action step, we are more likely to get involved rather than if we hear an abstract rationale whose benefit will help the world.

The pow-wow of 3, the moderator and 2 individuals from opposing tribes shall be planned. If 2 opposite tribe members are not present, the moderator can take on the role of the member of the opposite tribe who is not actually present.

ACTION STEPS

1) The moderator serves tea and talks about the tea ritual for 5 minutes.

2) As in Phase 1, the moderator will allow 5-15 minutes for each person to speak about her/his experience. The difference here is that each person would have to give full attention to someone from the opposite side’s story.

REITERATE THE RULES

No verbal or body language blame, no cursing or other violent language, no abusive physical contact.

3) The moderator asks each participant to speak about her (his) story.

4) After both people have spoken, the moderator asks:

a) How is your pain different from her (his) pain?

b) Did talking help you get closer to understanding the person next to you?

5) Tea is served.

6) Moderator thanks both participants for their time.

CONCLUSION

The people who agree to participate in this process are, at least, curious about some sort of peaceful settlement. They may still hold blame for the hardships they have endured, but they have some curiosity about what a peace process might look like.
In sharing our stories, we face our pain; we become less alone with the burden of pain and suffering; the perceptions we have about the wrongs that have happened come out in the open. Sometimes, this allows us to have a cathartic experience that heals us; may find others who feel the same torment, or we may find others who have a completely different burden; we may be helped, or we may help.

Here is a quote from Robi, a member of the Bereaved Families Forum in the above-cited movie, whose peace-loving son, David, was killed by a sniper. Robi is a devoted mother who believes that revenge does not belong in the peace process. It sums up a great possibility,

“I believe removing the stigma from each side and getting to know the person on the other side allows for a removal of fear, and a way to understand that a long-term reconciliation process is possible.”

FEEDBACK

Please leave a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She has seen the way people learn tolerance through communication. This is the same process used in academic debates, brainstorming groups and personal growth sessions. She says,

“A systematic approach can create new trust, once we establish the best way to send a gentle breeze to our opposite tribe. It’s all about taking 1 step.

“It’s extremely difficult for most people to let go of their ideas. Most of us “know” we are right and are not interested in changing. In some cultures, heads of families abuse their family group should the family question the head’s authority. This type of rigid behavior often maintains the wall of war.

“I see progress with the peace process. And the latest generations are multicultural. They far surpass the “flower child” generation whose slogan was “make love, not war” because of the global network in which they have grown up.

“The peace issue” is engrained in Millenials, or so it seems. That’s why we live in a great climate for The Peace Process Formula to spread, one group at a time until it catches on worldwide.”

THE PEACE PROCESS FORMULA: PHASE 3, CATHARSIS

WILL BE COMING ON MONDAY, APRIL 15, 2013.

In the meantime, you might like to review:

The Peace Process Formula: A Step-By-Step Guide HERE.

and

The Peace Process Formula: Phase 2 HERE.

WHAT MARTIAL ART IMPROVES BALANCE, GETS RID OF STRESS, FEELS LIKE DANCING AND HELPS CHANGE A HABIT? (ISSUE 72)

By Diane Gold

Okay, you knew. It’s tai chi, the system of movement that looks like rolling liquid that never stops. It teaches personal protection and awareness, creates relaxation of both mind and body (yeah, spirit, too, but there are too many discussions and interpretations on that subject that we won’t mention again in this piece), improves health, feels good and looks good.

In order to talk about how tai chi helps change a habit, let’s define the different aspects of the training, similar to what happens when someone joins the United State Military Service or a dance troupe.

According to Staff Seargent Curtis Osburn, USMC, San Diego,

“…from the minute recruits get off the bus, they are guided through physical challenges, mental challenges and moral challenges.”

So far, this sounds like any martial art. We get strong  of mind, body and moral fiber by going through the physical demands of the movement system. The physical regime prepares us to be flexible of mind as well as body.

According to New England Journal Medicine, Feb. 9, 2012, tai chi helped Parkinson’s patients with balance more than stretching and weight training.

But tai chi has other functions. There is scientific evidence that tai chi also improves flexibility, focus, respiration, muscle response, memory, mental attitude.

To the tai chi player (as the rest of the world says it), it feels similar to dancing or swimming because each movement is connected to the previous. I like to call it “air surfing.”

So, how can this change a habit?

Okay, remember that we build habits by receiving some signal (THE CUE) which leads us to do the same BEHAVIOR over and over to receive a REWARD. We eat 3 pieces of pie so we can say,

        “Yum.”

We take chemical or recreational risks because we like “the instant stimulation or rush” or because someone prescribed it. Sometimes we get stuck repeating the behaviors over and over again in a habit.

Where it used to be unusual for us to eat 3 pieces of cake, now it is normal to do so and seemingly impossible to stop. We crave it regularly.

Where it used to be occasional to drink champagne at New Year’s Eve, now it is normal to skip dinner and drink alcohol. It is seemingly impossible to stop. We crave it regularly.
The once exceptional event has become the standard way to act. Those brave souls among us who want to change a habit to support their lives in the best way possible want to reverse the process.

Tai chi can help. Here’s how.

In order to learn tai chi, we have to concentrate on the actual movement we are doing. We do the same movement over and over again until it becomes familiar to us. Sounds a little like a habit, right? It is different from jumping rope, doing a dance routine, going to the gym because every time we do it, it is different. Tai chi movement involves every single part of the body. And we are different of mind and body every day. That is why it is different. As with any martial art, the movement is a tool for training and changing the mind. However, the physical way we execute the motion is related to our mood at the moment, what we choose to express, how relaxed our body is and whether we are working on warding off a potential attacker. These factors affect the movement and make it unique in the world of movement arts.

The fact that tai chi involves mind, body and the way we live our lives, but all we have to do is watch our moving hand or foot to grasp our own attention is the very reason it can help change a habit. When we get the CUE, that urge, craving, onset of desire to behave habitually, we can

CHOOSE ANOTHER BEHAVIOR!

We just have to plan it!

I’m being a bit dramatic here because this statement is all we have to do, even though thinking about it may make it seem impossible. Of course, it may not be easy or we would have done it already. But it’s doable. I’m living proof many times over.

TAI CHI AS IT APPLIES TO CHANGE OF HABIT

Here’s where tai chi comes into play. And these are the sequential steps that allow us to change a habit using tai chi:

1) Tai chi teaches us to take our time with movement because understanding the movement takes time.

2) In order for us to be successful at tai chi, we learn patience.

3) This patience with learning tai chi, a martial arts system, translates to patience in our lives and more control over what we do, including our impulses and the cravings that appear out of nowhere and demand some type of behavior.

4) This control translates into having the strength to do a new behavior, different from the old one, that also creates some type of reward.

At the beginning, meaning for 3 to 4 weeks, if possible; it’s a good idea not to look at the new reward or evaluate it or compare it to the old reward. We have to remember it took lots of repetition to learn the old behavior, so give the new behavior some time to become beneficial to our lives before deciding to judge it. Otherwise the mind will play the old trick that the new behavior doesn’t work for us (which is. most of the time, a self-con so that we can go back to our old behavior).

Just like with tai chi, the reward of a new behavior takes time to learn, time to appreciate, time before it becomes a habit.

PRACTICAL ACTION STEPS TO CHANGE A HABIT

So once we have decided that we have a habit that is not supporting our life, here are some simple suggestions to start moving toward success:

1) WRITE IT DOWN!

When you are not craving, urging, desiring your old behavior – which may only be for a quick minute at a time – get out a pen and paper and write down what new behavior you will do instead of the old one. This way, you are contracting with yourself.

2) GO TO THE MIRROR

Go to the mirror and tell yourself that, when you get your next cue, you will do your new behavior.

3) BE PHYSICAL

Consider doing something physically exerting for your new behavior, like walking around the closest building or house, so that using your physical body has a chance at calming down your urges through the release of new hormones or neurotransmitters that feel good to the body. to   so that It should be physical and in a different location from the one where you do the old behavior.

4) CHANGE LOCATIONS

Make sure that you go in the opposite direction from the place where you did your old behavior. Sometimes if you travel away from the source, you will be too lazy to go toward it, or, by the time you get part way toward the location of the old behavior, your urge will be gone.

PUBLISHER’S NOTE:

It’s simple distractions such as these that keep us focused on our new behaviors.

5) CALL SOMEONE

Find a friend, a stranger or an association where you can call and tell someone you are traveling away from the source, or you are walking around the building. You are more likely to talk yourself down (talk yourself out of falling back into the old behavior) if you have a supporter.

PUBLISHER’S NOTE:

If you don’t know who to call, call 211, option 3, to talk to someone. As of February, 2013, this free service is available in 50 states (39 of them with 100% coverage) and Washington, D.C. and Puerto Rico (100% coverage).

CONCLUSION

Tai chi is a beautiful system of movement that makes our minds more flexible to succeed at our goals. That’s why it is so helpful when we want to change a habit. It’s also another alternative we can choose instead of our old behavior. We can write about it, do it in a mirror, it’s physical, we can do it far away from our old behavior location, and we can call someone else who does tai chi.

It’s a great preparer for life’s changes. We become rooted physically from the actual movement we learn as our legs gain strength. We begin to see a glimmer of understanding about why it’s called an art – because each of us creates our way of doing it. Our will power grows and can support us when we change a habit.

PUBLISHER’S DEDICATION

This article is dedicated to the art of tai chi and what it does for those who do it. It’s also a good place to announce WORLD TAI CHI AND CHI KUNG DAY, April 27, 2013, a free event where close to one million people all over the world do tai chi and chi kung in public events starting at 10 am local time in the first time zone and continue in most time zones across the globe to create a wave of peace and harmony.

As the organizer of the Boca Raton event, we welcome you to participate. It’s the 14th year for Boca. We’ll be in Sanborn Square, Boca Raton, Florida 33432 to celebrate. Details here: https://www.facebook.com/events/148699685298664.

If you are not local to Boca Raton (which most of you are not), we may be able to help you find an event in your city. Bottom line, If it sounds good, put it on the calendar. It’s free and fun. If you can’t make it, think tai chi at 10 am on April 27, 2013.

FEEDBACK

Please leave  a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She has seen how tai chi helps change a habit. She has watched people balance their weight, their emotional state, their physical habit of falling, their appetite. She says,

“Tai chi gives us a foundation, a root, like the root of a tree. When we have this infrastructure, we can require of ourselves new behavior by using tai chi principle. While doing tai chi, we do tai chi. We don’t think of shopping, finances, family feuds. In this same way, when we get our cue which used to cause the old behavior, we can do the new behavior by not thinking about it. We will just do it. That’s how we do tai chi: we just do it.If we are thinking about it, we’re not doing it. So we don’t think about it when we’re doing it.

“Similar to the scientist who can apply the scientific theory anywhere in the universe, the tai chi principle of “just doing it,” with no thought or mind deliberation, can be applied to changing a habit or any situation in life.”

MARTIAL ARTS OF THE MIND (ISSUE 71)

By Diane Gold

Martial arts are a group of disciples known throughout the world as the art of war. This article will mention 1 such discipline specifically, kung fu, which is the term that has been associated with Chinese martial arts, but the article’s focus is generic. It is about using the method that is used to train the body to train the mind. This is martial arts of the mind.

What many outsiders (meaning people who are not practitioners or people who learn bastardized versions that are one-sided fighting technique) do not consider is that this “art” very much includes discipline of the mind and spirit. An example of this would be that we learn that quickest is not always best. Of course, when someone is looking to hurt us and we can outrun the aggressor or execute a physical technique more swiftly, this is good and to our betterment. But the physical aspect is secondary, even though we spend hours training the body. It is to train the mind and spirit, for the most part.

Because of this training, we have the ability to consider taking the longer path if it is more strategic to get where we are going because we know patience, the first lesson in any martial art. We learn to take time out to consider, meditate, evaluate, even if, in physical combat, it is only a split second.

Another example of using the martial arts mind would be that we allow a hostile, aggressive person to beep her horn at us on the parkway and we let her go ahead of us. We are secure in ourselves so there would be no need to fight for “control of the road” just because someone wants to advance in front of us. Some would say that giving up position is cowardice.

To the kung fu artist or other martial artist, there is no sense in acting with impatience, hostility, irrationality unless the behaviors of the other affect us. If our self-esteem is intact and does not depend upon how others see us or treat us, we have no need to pump ourselves up like peacocks on display being macho to find a mate or bearded dragon lizards who puff their necks to make themselves bigger when they sense a threat.

Let’s look at the yin and the yang of things, yin meaning giving and yang meaning taking, more or less. If person 1 yells at person 2, person 1 is showing yang qualities, taking and aggression. Most people would react to person 1 by yelling back, giving it back to her. If person 2 does this, she is meeting yang with yang, like the standoff between 2 wolves, 2 rhinocerii, 2 warthogs. This causes friction, fighting, discomfort and rarely ends positively.

If person 2 is a skilled martial artist, she is trained not to develop aggression from someone else’s aggression. She maintains her own balanced nature. Often times, if person 2 lends an understanding ear and shows the yin, nurturing quality; person 1 will calm down. That is the nature of yin-yang. They balance each other everywhere, all the time. That separates us from wild animals.

Here’s a common scenario and a breakdown of possible action steps in response:
I have a conversation with my friend, and we disagree. My friend yells at me, insults me and walks out on me. I have 2 options:

A) I can choose to call my friend back later or the next day because I want to see how she is doing. Since I do not need to keep score of my friend’s poor behavior, I do not shun my friend because she shunned me. I take on the role of nurturer toward my friend. It usually ends up putting me in role of teacher, not that that is my intention, but that’s what happens when I call and communicate well.

B) I can choose not to call my friend because I am keeping score. Who does this serve?
When we are young, we say,

“I’m not gonna be your friend because you said this to me, and you didn’t apologize.”

This is expected because we work from our feelings alone.

When we are older, acting the way of the child does not utilize our reason and the wisdom from our experience we have taken so long to gain.

During kung fu training, we study and learn who we are. We do focus training which is mental and physical. We learn not to react because someone reacts. (We may act if we are in danger, but we act in the way that best suits the situation, not the way someone else acts.)

We don’t have to defend because someone has offended. If our personal space or that of someone we want to protect is not violated, we don’t have to take an action. Part of this is because we have physical confidence. But, mostly, it’s because we have a greater capacity for patience, tolerance and understanding because we have taken the time to look inward. We also have developed an attitude of responsibility to communicate clearly to others, because we have learned the right way to be.

CONCLUSION

Most of what kung fu or any true martial art is is a systematic approach to living our lives with temperance, forgiveness, honor, respect for others and respect for ourselves. So, before we go on with a few action steps, here is A SECRET, which is only an interesting fact, not known by many who haven’t studied kung fu.

The words “Kung” and “Fu,” together, refer to work successfully accomplished over time. Here’s the secret: What’s fascinating to most of us is that kung fu can refer to any work where someone has applied mastery. That means a chef, a hair stylist, a chemist, a firefighter, a writing professor can all be doing “good kung fu.” which is the translation when we say ho kung fu to someone other than a martial artist studying the Chinese variety.

What this means is that people who master their craft are kung fu artists. They use the same focus, patience, examination, reason, integrity, perseverance, creativity and self-discovery used by the kung fu master. So, the secret is not really a secret, as you see. But, it defines people and process and the fact that the study of kung fu is parallel to the study of music, dance, invention, psychology, masonry, cooking, surgery, oral presentation. And martial arts of the mind is studied by all who train in every martial art.

ACTION STEPS

Consider taking these action steps in the spirit of martial arts of the mind. You may find, if you haven’t already, that reducing aggressive behavior we show due to sadness or anger is not as hard if we give up our own behaviors that do not support us. These methods do not work 100% of the time, but they give us great opportunity.

1) Next time someone yells at you, decide whether the someone is important enough for the relationship to continue. If the answer is yes,

a) if the person is inconsequential, let it go completely.

b) if the person is valuable to you, tell the person s/he is hurting your feelings. When we personalize that what someone has done hurt us, this usually makes the someone stop, take note and change attitudes or even apologize.

c) if the person has value, gently have an internal dialogue with yourself. Recognize that the someone’s being nasty to you usually means you have struck some insecure bone in that person or the person is in pain on her own. Be compassionate of that insecurity or pain by not macho-ing out (yelling back to be the big cat on the mountain). Reach out to the person and ask how you can help and alleviate any bad feelings.

2) See how it feels to withhold aggression. Does it make you feel good or bad? If you feel good, great. Continue it. If you miss the anger conjured up by retaliation, at least you will know what you like. And you will have martial arts of the mind to think about since we can all learn it and implement it in our lives.

FEEDBACK

Please leave a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She believes that martial arts of the mind is something each one of us can cultivate. This comes with proper contemplative training. She says,

“The training must be systematic, so that we learn 1 step, then another, then another, leading to mastery of our own selves. The martial training applies in all walks of life, no matter what we are doing. We use the principles of empty mind and building a foundation that we employ in the physical training to learn martial arts of the mind.”

PEACE NEEDS A BRIDGE: HOW TO BUILD IT AND KEEP IT OPEN (ISSUE 67)

By Diane Gold

Peace Needs A Bridge! Not a new concept, but 1 whose time has come. Again.

In November, 1969, I ended up going to the Palm Beach Pop Music Festival, a glorious lifetime game changer of 3 cold, wet and muddy days where I saw Janis Joplin, The Rolling Stones, Iron Butterfly and a host of other musicians, friends, action. Yes, they were singing about peace and what was wrong with our time with our presence in Vietnam very much on our minds. We wore tie dyed t-shirts, flowers in our hair, peace signs on our clothing and marched for various freedoms which are now common place.

Present day in the two thousand teens, many people see the need to work toward curbing human anguish, violence, bullying, not unlike the sentiments of my youth. Because we are technically far ahead of that time and live within a speedway of information submission and retrieval, these issues are much more complicated.

In order to enable human beings to take action in any era, they must be motivated beyond apathy, other driving motivators and the urge to relax and let someone else do it. When it comes to peace, there are lots of organizations that talk about peace.

But what really gets done, and what needs to get done for peace to exist?

BUILDING THE BRIDGE

Most of us would prefer to have peaceful dealings than to have conflict, although I remember Robin Williams’ role as a man in a heaven where there was no fighting, and there was only peace (What Dreams Are Made Of). Some say conflict makes it interesting and saves us from boredom. Those who have experienced war and many others of us would opt for its end.

SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW THAT DOESN’T WORK?

INTELLECTUAL PURSUITS

We have all listened to lectures, read some article, report, paper or book justifying the need for peace. Although these intellectual pursuits are impressive, they are not exciting enough to make us get involved enough to empower a movement. Most of the time, we do not move because most of what we hear and read is dry and does not create that exponentially growing enthusiasm we require to take a committed step.

Although empassioned about their projects, lecturers usually deliver their information without humor, pizazz and charisma. Their material may be brilliant, but it usually doesn’t drive the masses to action. Think of how many seminars you have attended where the material is interesting but nothing happens as a result. It enhances our intellect and makes us feel intelligent but doesn’t stimulate our action gene enough so that we take a step.

AGGRESSION

Aggressive behavior involves fighting, yelling, anger and conflict resolution that usually ends in violence. We, as civilized people, accomplish temporary territorial expansion, human rights as we see them at the time of issue and winning a struggle of will until the next powerful wave of fellow humans decides there is a need for change. Not a great show of modern civilization.

(I am in deep gratitude to our military fighters who protect our children, our way of life, our freedoms. At this time, there is need for such military strength. Will this always be our nature, or can we evolve?

I believe in our ability to build a bridge to peace.

FIRE UNDER OUR BOTTOMS

It’s because of the pizazz in some of us, often celebrities, that the others of us are sparked to take action.

Think of Oprah Winfrey’s asking her followers to pledge a $10 donation texting to a 5 digit code on our cell phones to support orphans in a war zone. We react to this appeal almost on auto pilot to contribute. Why? Because her charisma gets us movin’ and shakin’.

You may remember USA For Africa, a collaboration of many musicians, and their single, first to go multi-platinum, We Are The World, and the subsequent album which raised over $64 million in sales toward African famine in 1985. The musicians were the draw, and they pulled us right along with them: to buy their song, to enjoy the multitude of fine musicians, producers and promoters, to spread the word about saving Africa, to believe in its message.

SO, WHAT CAN WE DO THAT BUILDS THE PEACE BRIDGE, THAT’S MORE PRODUCTIVE AND LEADS US IN THAT HARMONIOUS DIRECTION NOW?

All of us want peace of some sort. But what are we willing to agree upon? All of us are interested in the “what’s in it for me” concept, such as,

“I want to live in a peaceful neighborhood, but I’m not willing to let the homeless live here,”

or

“Why can’t we all get along, but I’m not sharing my land with anyone because I worked hard for it.”

Some of us are leaders; some of us are followers. Some of us get inspired by a single leader, and some of us spread that message, ourselves.

Since we all like to be entertained and we get involved by celebrity messages, let’s continue to use entertainment to make sparks fly. It’s sexy, creative, diverse, instantaneous. We become instantly involved when we hear a song that we like or see art that is beautiful.

THE SECRET

All we need is a system that gives us somewhere to put the enthusiasm created by the entertainment so that we can change ourselves and act in and for peace, a network of accountability.

ACTION STEPS

While we are creating such a system, I see a very definite direction in which to go to put building blocks into the construction of the peace bridge. They are immediate.

1) START COMMUNICATING

Start talking to someone who has grown up in war. When they get inflammatory about their opposing tribe, don’t get inflammatory or judgmental. Work to understand this behavior.

Continue this discussion so that you learn the dynamics of reason in war, first-hand.

2) FIND PERFORMERS THAT FIRE YOU UP

Commit that you make it your goal to pick a performer that fires you up: a musician, a visual artist, an actor, a creator. Pick one who donates to a peace cause. Go to concerts of this performance troupe, either in person or online. Follow the network attached to this performer, and look into the organization that benefits from the donation.

Performers and creators didn’t get there because they aren’t interesting. So, chances are keeping abreast of this 1 person will keep you excited and you will be more likely to keep on this peace path. You might, one day, work side by side with your performer of choice. On the journey, you will be privy to that performers’ art.
__

Special note:

If you find that you are more interested in another cause, we must follow our hearts, so switch to that cause and stick with it.

3) NETWORK

Join a network that is all about getting people together for the purpose of creating new art, new music, new creativity for the sake of upgrading our peace, our resources, our human rights and downgrading our greed and our habits that cause us to be unhealthy.

4) 1 MINUTE A DAY

Commit to connecting with a peace organization, based upon your most pressing goal. Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Peace_organizations and pick one.

5) THE BRIDGE’S FOUNDATION STARTS WITH OUR OWN LIVES

In order to build a peace bridge, we have to work every day to rid ourselves of old ideas, old reactions, our own prejudices. How?

a) 1 time a day, be less controlling, more understanding, a better listener and a more tolerant person.
b) Tell a friend you did this.
c) If you really want to make peace, set up role playing peace talks at the local elementary school or community group. If our young aren’t given the opportunity to work on the process, they will learn our mistaken concepts. If our old don’t give it a whirl, we’ll be stuck.
d) If you really, really want to build the bridge, continue step a) until it becomes part of every day for a year.
e) Together, let’s create some peace cards that urge people to collaborate more than they confront.

CONCLUSION

Peace needs a bridge that we, individually and collectively, can build. Every day, we can choose to back away from our own need for power by submitting to listen to someone; we can build the bridge. When we act well, others see it and may make it part of their culture. When we yield, the more powerful we become. We may even release the anger that causes war.

This is a seemingly impossible task, but it is possible we use a consistent systematic approach on a daily basis, within and in the world. It means we have to give something of ourselves to make it happen. Could be false pride, could be our heart, could be land, which is the most difficult thing of all, it seems.

If we start now, we can build a more peaceful culture into the next generation and those to come. What do you think? Is it worth sacrificing our old ways?

FEEDBACK

Please leave a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She believes we can adjust our hostile ways. She says,

“When we yell at someone and that someone reacts in an understanding, non-angry way; we usually simmer down and become (more) reasonable.

“When we yell at someone and that someone yells back, we usually puff out our peacock feathers and yell twice as loud.

“Of the 2 scenarios, only the first 1 makes peace. Therefore, we, as humans, are half way there, already. We can work on the other half that stays peaceful in the face of adversity.”

HOW TO CHANGE A HABIT BY REALIZING OUR LUXURIES (ISSUE 65)

By Diane Gold

How many of us think about how to change a habit? Most of us at 1 time or other, I’d venture to say. At these times, we are focused on ourselves, our frustrations, our strengths, the habits we have created for ourselves and our dreams.

I was thinking about the studies I read, the nutrition I study and have access to, the articles I write on how to lead a better life through no stress, better habits and good times. When all of a sudden, I realized that the techniques I write about are luxurious. Meaning able to be executed because of our luxury. I knew it was time to focus on some of those luxuries that we take for granted.

To see what I’m talking about, consider:

1) how inconsequential it is to have a neighborhood store that carries flax seed if we don’t know that 1 TBS. of ground flax seed will give us a perfect¬¬ 4 to 1 ratio of Omega 3 (alpha-linoleic) essential fatty acid to Omega 6 (linoleic) essential fatty acids or

2) how stress relieving tai chi movement is if we are not permitted to engage in movement.

_____

Here are 7 categories of luxury. Most of us don’t consider 4 of them to be luxury. We take them for granted. All 7 are part of the luxury package needed in order to create and change habits we accumulate that are not necessities. Let’s consider them.

NUTRITION & WATER

Almost 1 billion people do not get the correct quantity or balance of food worldwide. Often lack of protein is targeted as responsible, rather than lack of education needed for healthy plant-based eating.

According to stopthehunger.com, $100 million of food was bought an thrown away today in the United States. This amount would more than cover the $30 million cost of feeding the entire world’s hungry for the day (the difference between $100 and $30 million would cover the cost of administration and transportation to get the food to the hungry). Another interesting fact is that $150 million was spend today on weight loss programs in the United States.

There are 750 million people with no safe drinking water.

CLOTHING

Rumi, philosopher and poet from Persia said,

“I have seen so many people on whom there were no clothes; and I have seen so many clothes in which there were no people.”

Obviously, some of us have 100 things to wear, and some people have none.
Rumi is from the 13th century. Not much seems to have changed in the way of haves and have-nots.

SHELTER

There are so many different levels of having shelter. Some of us used to have a tin house that was washed away by a hurricane. Others of us have a small apartment. And others own several palatial homes in different parts of the world. Whatever we have, it is a gift. Especially if we can actually be comfortable in it.

I remember the movie, The Ron Clark Story, about an elementary school teacher who was determined to raise the grade point averages of his inner city Harlem students by raising their self-esteem. He arranged to take them to South Africa to visit South African students. Ron’s kids saw gratitude and joy in the South African kids who had no cafeteria, 1 teacher, no bathroom, other than an outhouse, a 1-room school and 80 kids per class. These kids took nothing for granted and opened the eyes of Ron’s kids from Harlem to how joyous life can be with the right perspective.

EDUCATION

With education, we can learn to eat,  drink, grow, produce and live according to the latest discoveries, both medical and production. There are those who believe living the simple, natural life is more advanced than the “civilized” life with education.

Some type of education, whether it is passed on by the generations or in a formal classroom in a school, can help us learn many things to further our lives, such as the value of the flax seed (mentioned earlier), which we might choose for nutrition and longevity, if we knew its benefit.

PEACE & FREEDOM

September 11, 2001 in the United States was the first time many civilians ever experienced an act of war. Yes, I do remember the results of the Vietnam War on several classmates and the nation, but it was not part of my home life.

Many, many people experience war on a daily basis, whether it is guns in the streets due to gang crime and drugs in the neighborhood or guns on every shoulder due to civil or religious war. As we listen to our friends tell their stories of war, do we imagine how we would have pulled through?

Not to get gushy, but, the 1 thing the United States offers is a special array of freedoms. True, we have a little imbalance of power, from time to time, when it comes to the corporation vs. the individual. But, mostly, we have the largest vat of freedom in the world.  Not to be taken lightly.

FINANCIAL POSITION

Whether or not we have a way to sustain our lives and those of our families is often on everyone’s mind. I always say,

“Money is not important unless we don’t have it.”

A huge percentage of the world’s citizens have far less financial backing than makes them comfortable. If we have even a little security, this is a big thing. Most have none.

TIME FOR PERSONAL GROWTH

Time has to do with all the other categories. The better our circumstance, the more time we could have. Many of us work from 9 to 5 every day for 40 years. Others in the world started working 16 hour days from the age of 7. And are still working at the same position 60 years later. When we think about these different scenarios, time takes on a new meaning. We often think about time and how much of it we have. Do we spend it wisely if we have a choice?

ACTION STEPS

1) NUTRITION & WATER ACTION STEP

Consider the beauty of enough food and water. Give some away on a daily basis instead of eating too much or just to be nice. Daily for a week to see if you like doing it.

2) CLOTHING ACTION STEP

If you have enough, give away an outfit of clothing. Pick something you like, and remember your great fortune in having enough.

3) SHELTER ACTION STEP

Keep your place neat and clean in honor of the fact that you have a place to live. Put something cool on the wall to make it homey so you can enjoy working on yourself there.

4) EDUCATION ACTION STEP

We all know something. Why not take on a student, and teach what you know. The teaching experience can change a life. It can also help us change habits. Better to be doing peer or student tutoring than to be hanging out on the corner.

5) PEACE & FREEDOM ACTION STEP

If you are reading this, you are probably not at war. Take a moment to realize this good fortune, and use the gratitude to step forward into a new habit and out of an old.

Bonus: go forgive someone.

6) FINANCIAL POSITION ACTION STEP

There’s a time and a place to think about finances. Pick a 15-minute time slot per day in which you can think about your finances. Same time every day for at least a week. Think everything you want in that time.

For the rest of the day, put it aside. Laugh at yourself and relax, knowing you have your time slot in which to do your financial position thinking, so you will have success with working on goals the rest of the day. Make an adjustment if your day is comprised of financial decisions, but, if it is, take time out.

7) TIME ACTION STEP

Create an extra 5-minute time slot every day for a week. How? By being more organized. In that 5 minutes, listen to music and dance, do tai chi, run around your house/building/farm to focus on the habit you wish to change.
_____

CONCLUSION

Look at the good and use it to reach your aspirations. As we change, so will our need to change our habits. Go with the flow, and be true to what supports us at the time. Habits are like inertia. Once we get going, we will have little trouble continuing to go toward whatever it is we want.

FEEDBACK

Please leave  a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She is extremely grateful that not a day goes by where she doesn’t realize how lucky she is. She says,

“We can use our good fortune to mold the most creative, productive, meaningful life for ourselves and others. No matter how big or small it is.

“Once we recognize how to see abundance, the smallest morsel is not only enough but it is vast.”

}

TIMING OF MEALS AFFECTS WEIGHT LOSS (ISSUE 65)

By Anahad O’Connor, Comments And Action Steps By Diane Gold

In The New England Journal of Medicine last week, a prominent researcher noted that much of the conventional wisdom about weight loss has little basis in science. But his article did not address one oft-asked question: Is your waistline affected by when you eat, or is a calorie always just a calorie whenever you eat it?

To seasoned dieters, the claim that eating late can spell trouble is nothing new. But the idea has lacked evidence from credible human studies. Most of the research to date has shown that eating late is linked to weight gain, but late eaters also tend to consume more calories over all.

In a new study, published in The International Journal of Obesity, researchers at Harvard and elsewhere followed 420 overweight men and women in Spain in a 20-week weight loss program.

The subjects were split into two groups. Each followed a similar diet, got equivalent amounts of sleep, and had similar caloric intakes and expenditures. They also showed no differences in two hormones that play a key role in appetite, leptin and ghrelin.

But there was a critical difference in the timing of their main meal of the day, which in this case, because of the Mediterranean setting, was lunch. In both groups, the meal comprised about 40 percent of their daily calories. But one group consistently ate it before 3 p.m. daily, while the other did so after 3 p.m.

By the end of the study, despite similar caloric intakes, the late eaters had lost significantly less weight. They also showed lower insulin sensitivity, which increases the risk of diabetes.

Weight loss strategies, the authors wrote, should focus not just on calories and nutrients, “but also the timing of food.”

THE BOTTOM LINE

The timing of your meals may not be everything when it comes to weight loss, but it does appear to play a role.

Link to original article is below.

COMMENTS AND ACTION STEPS

by Diane Gold

For about 3 years now, almost as long as I have been a vegan, I have chosen to finish my meals by 6 pm on purpose. On the rare occasion that I find myself eating evening dinner in company, I eat an additional meal of salad with no dressing. Or, if I can get away with it, I have a hot water, one of my favorite drinks.

When I traveled to a different time zone to see family, I ate in that time zone, 3 hours later, but, you guessed it. I went to bed 3 hours later, or more. And the 6 p.m. curfew was tough for the rest of the group (although they were quite accommodating), which is why so many people don’t even attempt the task.

So, why did I decide to do it?

There were many times I experienced what it feels like to wake up the morning after drinking alcohol. In contrast and most of the time, I have experienced waking up feeling crystal clear, powerful, joyful and healthy. Once I decided to rid myself of drinking alcohol at all, I woke up lucid every morning. This got me to thinking.

But how alert would I be, I asked myself, if I could increase the period of time between my last meal and drink (except for hydrating water or green tea because the quercetin in it is a great anti-viral, anti-inflammatory, anti-cancer enzyme)?

So I decided to complete my last meal by 6 p.m. every night to see how I felt.
Oh, my. I felt great, and I continue to feel great using this eating schedule I recommend highly. It’s not for everyone, but here are a few facts that may contribute to why it makes sense:

1) As Anahad’s article mentions, there is scientific proof that shows that weight loss is directly related to eating earlier.

ACTION STEP

Figure out a way to finish eating before 6 p.m. If you want to or have to socialize after that time (this will inevitably end up in eating), plan ahead that you will only eat raw greens in a salad with a little olive oil and lemon juice or a plate of steamed leafy greens with a drop of olive oil and lemon juice.

2) Gravity helps digestion. When we are lying down (for sleep), we lose this benefit. Did you ever eat late and feel your food up high in your digestive tract when you were in bed? I have, but not recently.

ACTION STEP

Consciously decide to pay attention to the food in the stomach. Enjoy how it feels while you are upright, and notice when it seems to have gone down. This could be 3 or 4 hours after eating.

3) Our greatest risk of heart attack is in the early hours of the morning, according to Robert Manfredini of University of Ferrara, Italy, in a Time article, July 22, 2008. Because digestion utilizes blood and oxygen that would normally be employed by the heart  and because respiration is reduced when we sleep; eating a large meal at night can divert too much of the body’s resources to digestion during the most vulnerable time in our daily cycle of physical processes. (Information from Ed in South Carolina, moderator of Paleohacks.com).

ACTION STEP

Now that we have spelled out some of the biological implications, really decide to finish eating at 6 pm. If there are family factors in the way, like children’s extra-curricular activities don’t finish until 7 p.m. or all family members aren’t home until 8 p.m.; start the routine of finishing by 6 p.m. every Saturday and Sunday or whatever days the family has “off.”

There are always excuses not to, so just do it! You and your family are worth it.

4) When we are not using our body’s resources for sleep-time digestion, we have a more restful sleep. Otherwise, our quality of sleep may be hindered (Jason Bellows, Stop And Breathe, Mar. 15, 2011).

ACTION STEP

The better we sleep, the more productive we will be the following day and the several days after that.  The more we will be able to handle stress, and the more able we will be to follow a great eating plan to maximize our weight loss (gain) goals.

5) It feels good to lie down without the weight of recently eaten food in our GI tract. It’s 10 pm (4 hours since my last meal), and I’m already feeling that the food has digested. (This is not true, of course, since it takes a good 6-8 hours to pass through the stomach and small intestine, and then another 41-43 hours (as opposed to 27-29 hours in men) to go through the rest of the process, according to Michael F. Picco, Mayo Clinic GI, M.D.)

ACTION STEP

Enjoy how great it is to lie down without food feeling high in our digestive system. Eating early is a good way to prepare for sleep.

CONCLUSION

The idea of timing of meals affecting our weight loss and our health verifies an action we, humans, have been acting on for many years. Happily, there is proof in study form. Yes, we were correct, but now it is documented by researchers at Harvard et al.
Although the studies didn’t address the fact that when we eat later, there have been more hours in our day in which to eat; it is logical that, in reducing the waking hours we permit ourselves to eat, we automatically reduce our intake. This leads to weight loss.

FEEDBACK

Please leave  a comment and LIKE.

ANAHAD O’CONNOR, AUTHOR

Anahad has been writing for the Science Section of the New York Times since 2003. He is passionate about investigative science and wellness reporting. He is one of our panelists whose full bio you will find in the Experts section.

The original article appeared on February 4, 2013 at this link:

DIANE GOLD, CO-AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She is extremely excited to hear that her eating schedule was validated by a current scientific study . She says,

“There are so many weight loss misconceptions. It is exciting that I am using a technique that can be matched to scientific study and statistics. We know that eating earlier in our day feels better. Now we know that it promotes weight loss.

“Putting a time limit on food ingestion also creates the habit of learning to wait, which is something that dieters have to learn anyway. The self-imposed time restriction is a great way to learn it, and it makes it easier to cope with weight loss and weight maintenance after that.”