HOW TO CHANGE A HABIT BY REALIZING OUR LUXURIES (ISSUE 65)

By Diane Gold

How many of us think about how to change a habit? Most of us at 1 time or other, I’d venture to say. At these times, we are focused on ourselves, our frustrations, our strengths, the habits we have created for ourselves and our dreams.

I was thinking about the studies I read, the nutrition I study and have access to, the articles I write on how to lead a better life through no stress, better habits and good times. When all of a sudden, I realized that the techniques I write about are luxurious. Meaning able to be executed because of our luxury. I knew it was time to focus on some of those luxuries that we take for granted.

To see what I’m talking about, consider:

1) how inconsequential it is to have a neighborhood store that carries flax seed if we don’t know that 1 TBS. of ground flax seed will give us a perfect¬¬ 4 to 1 ratio of Omega 3 (alpha-linoleic) essential fatty acid to Omega 6 (linoleic) essential fatty acids or

2) how stress relieving tai chi movement is if we are not permitted to engage in movement.

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Here are 7 categories of luxury. Most of us don’t consider 4 of them to be luxury. We take them for granted. All 7 are part of the luxury package needed in order to create and change habits we accumulate that are not necessities. Let’s consider them.

NUTRITION & WATER

Almost 1 billion people do not get the correct quantity or balance of food worldwide. Often lack of protein is targeted as responsible, rather than lack of education needed for healthy plant-based eating.

According to stopthehunger.com, $100 million of food was bought an thrown away today in the United States. This amount would more than cover the $30 million cost of feeding the entire world’s hungry for the day (the difference between $100 and $30 million would cover the cost of administration and transportation to get the food to the hungry). Another interesting fact is that $150 million was spend today on weight loss programs in the United States.

There are 750 million people with no safe drinking water.

CLOTHING

Rumi, philosopher and poet from Persia said,

“I have seen so many people on whom there were no clothes; and I have seen so many clothes in which there were no people.”

Obviously, some of us have 100 things to wear, and some people have none.
Rumi is from the 13th century. Not much seems to have changed in the way of haves and have-nots.

SHELTER

There are so many different levels of having shelter. Some of us used to have a tin house that was washed away by a hurricane. Others of us have a small apartment. And others own several palatial homes in different parts of the world. Whatever we have, it is a gift. Especially if we can actually be comfortable in it.

I remember the movie, The Ron Clark Story, about an elementary school teacher who was determined to raise the grade point averages of his inner city Harlem students by raising their self-esteem. He arranged to take them to South Africa to visit South African students. Ron’s kids saw gratitude and joy in the South African kids who had no cafeteria, 1 teacher, no bathroom, other than an outhouse, a 1-room school and 80 kids per class. These kids took nothing for granted and opened the eyes of Ron’s kids from Harlem to how joyous life can be with the right perspective.

EDUCATION

With education, we can learn to eat,  drink, grow, produce and live according to the latest discoveries, both medical and production. There are those who believe living the simple, natural life is more advanced than the “civilized” life with education.

Some type of education, whether it is passed on by the generations or in a formal classroom in a school, can help us learn many things to further our lives, such as the value of the flax seed (mentioned earlier), which we might choose for nutrition and longevity, if we knew its benefit.

PEACE & FREEDOM

September 11, 2001 in the United States was the first time many civilians ever experienced an act of war. Yes, I do remember the results of the Vietnam War on several classmates and the nation, but it was not part of my home life.

Many, many people experience war on a daily basis, whether it is guns in the streets due to gang crime and drugs in the neighborhood or guns on every shoulder due to civil or religious war. As we listen to our friends tell their stories of war, do we imagine how we would have pulled through?

Not to get gushy, but, the 1 thing the United States offers is a special array of freedoms. True, we have a little imbalance of power, from time to time, when it comes to the corporation vs. the individual. But, mostly, we have the largest vat of freedom in the world.  Not to be taken lightly.

FINANCIAL POSITION

Whether or not we have a way to sustain our lives and those of our families is often on everyone’s mind. I always say,

“Money is not important unless we don’t have it.”

A huge percentage of the world’s citizens have far less financial backing than makes them comfortable. If we have even a little security, this is a big thing. Most have none.

TIME FOR PERSONAL GROWTH

Time has to do with all the other categories. The better our circumstance, the more time we could have. Many of us work from 9 to 5 every day for 40 years. Others in the world started working 16 hour days from the age of 7. And are still working at the same position 60 years later. When we think about these different scenarios, time takes on a new meaning. We often think about time and how much of it we have. Do we spend it wisely if we have a choice?

ACTION STEPS

1) NUTRITION & WATER ACTION STEP

Consider the beauty of enough food and water. Give some away on a daily basis instead of eating too much or just to be nice. Daily for a week to see if you like doing it.

2) CLOTHING ACTION STEP

If you have enough, give away an outfit of clothing. Pick something you like, and remember your great fortune in having enough.

3) SHELTER ACTION STEP

Keep your place neat and clean in honor of the fact that you have a place to live. Put something cool on the wall to make it homey so you can enjoy working on yourself there.

4) EDUCATION ACTION STEP

We all know something. Why not take on a student, and teach what you know. The teaching experience can change a life. It can also help us change habits. Better to be doing peer or student tutoring than to be hanging out on the corner.

5) PEACE & FREEDOM ACTION STEP

If you are reading this, you are probably not at war. Take a moment to realize this good fortune, and use the gratitude to step forward into a new habit and out of an old.

Bonus: go forgive someone.

6) FINANCIAL POSITION ACTION STEP

There’s a time and a place to think about finances. Pick a 15-minute time slot per day in which you can think about your finances. Same time every day for at least a week. Think everything you want in that time.

For the rest of the day, put it aside. Laugh at yourself and relax, knowing you have your time slot in which to do your financial position thinking, so you will have success with working on goals the rest of the day. Make an adjustment if your day is comprised of financial decisions, but, if it is, take time out.

7) TIME ACTION STEP

Create an extra 5-minute time slot every day for a week. How? By being more organized. In that 5 minutes, listen to music and dance, do tai chi, run around your house/building/farm to focus on the habit you wish to change.
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CONCLUSION

Look at the good and use it to reach your aspirations. As we change, so will our need to change our habits. Go with the flow, and be true to what supports us at the time. Habits are like inertia. Once we get going, we will have little trouble continuing to go toward whatever it is we want.

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DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She is extremely grateful that not a day goes by where she doesn’t realize how lucky she is. She says,

“We can use our good fortune to mold the most creative, productive, meaningful life for ourselves and others. No matter how big or small it is.

“Once we recognize how to see abundance, the smallest morsel is not only enough but it is vast.”

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TURNING HABITS INTO HEALTH: HOW 1 STEP AT A TIME CAN MAKE THE CHANGE (ISSUE 63)

By Diane Gold

Turning Habits Into Health is just another way of saying we are committing to nurturing ourselves and matching our behaviors with our current goals and game plan.

Habits, as we know if we think about them, are patterns of behavior reinforced through repetition until they are almost involuntary action. Here’s a short list of these responses: eating oily, salty or sugary snacks to satisfy a food craving; verbally reacting to a child because that’s how we were raised; using mind/body-altering substances (prescribed or not) because we are tired, bored, nervous or emotional;  shutting down our emotions because it’s safer than experiencing pain; acting out anger when someone challenges us; eating processed, unhealthy foods to escape; meditating before breakfast; brushing our teeth; taking our shoes off before we enter a residence; swimming after work; praying
before eating.

Obviously, diverse behaviors serve us at various times in our lives. Most of the time, we aren’t even aware these habits are developing. And, usually, we don’t focus on them until our body, mind or spirit call out in despair. Weighing too much signals that our bodies are imbalanced. Pain in our teeth makes us examine our oral hygiene and diet. Emotional over-reaction makes us look at our stability. Our comfort level with the questions of our position in the universe arouses our spirit and calls for grand examination.

Because we are all so universally tied to habits and we all have them, WarriorsOfWeight.com now honors moms, daughters, fathers, sons, teen girls, teen boys, grandparents in focusing on and educating about Turning Habits Into Health and discussing all the astounding techniques to help each one of us along the way.

Whether we speak about personal development techniques like tai chi, free dance techniques, music and its effects on balance, involvement in social change to get us personally where we want to be or the science of proper nutrition to maximize our bodies;
WarriorsOfWeight.com aims to share material for all our supporters. From now on, our new tag line is (drum roll, please)

Turning Habits Into Health!

And we are focusing on solutions for all of us.

So what are the ways to make this miraculous change in habit? Do we have to turn ourselves inside out?

The answer, of course, is no. The prospect of making the change may seem as if we have to climb a mountain. The actual journey, if approached step-by-step, is only as difficult as each individual step.

ACTION STEPS

1) Step 1 is to look as far as the first step. The first step is the beginning action step. It’s like the running a race. When we look at 1 more step, and only 1 more step, we get to continue without collapsing – for that 1 step only.

This step could be changing 1 meal to vegetable juice or overcoming the fear of crossing the street or drinking apple juice instead of wine. With all of these habits, there is a first step, the golden step, the one that will begin the habit change.

2) Step 2 is a repetition of step 1 except that we have actual experience doing step 1. We can note that the original habit began because we repeated the same action over and over again.

Therefore, changing the habit is going to require repeating the same action over and over again. Thus, we repeat step 1.

We know we have looked at step 1. We have also looked at step 2. They are the same. So are the next steps.

3) As we get used to this step, we can repeat it more easily each time. If we continue to take the step as a replacement for some negative action that is not supporting our goals, we will begin to replace the habit.

Our journey for change starts out as a cold mountain.

With repetition and confidence, as we begin to get familiarity and control with our new actions, our journey becomes a mountain of joy.

CONCLUSION

We can change a habit with 1 step. It is the way. There is nothing mysterious about it, and the technique is as straight forward as normal breathing. We always have our collection of habits, all of them. Whether we allow them to trigger depends on how well we have replaced them using any means necessary, but usually the 1-step plan.

If we follow each individual step on blind faith, we don’t get distracted with other thoughts. In time, we can take a look at what we’ve accomplished, but not while we are doing it.

ACTION STEPS: THE HABIT CHANGE PROCESS

This section overviews The Habit Change Process. The “snack” habit is chosen so that we can act out the process without getting stuck on which habit to change. The method of 1 step, then repetition of the same step, then repetition of the same step again and again can be used for all habits.

OBJECTIVE

Replacing 1 snack a day with healthy food instead of cookies, chips, soda, anything else. (If you only eat raw food, have an allergy to 1 of the foods; please substitute. If you don’t usually have a snack, please add it for 21 days, just to be part of this process.)

1) Buy veggies (the culinary term “veggies” which would include mushrooms): carrots, broccoli, onions, garlic, spinach, mushrooms.

2)  5 minutes ahead of the broccoli, steam sliced carrots. Then add broccoli and steam for another 7-10 minutes.

3)  In another pot, use some water to brown sliced mushrooms, re-adding water several times as needed. so they don’t burn.

4)  Once the steaming is complete, in a wok or saucepan, heat a small amount of olive oil, add garlic to cook, 30 seconds later, add onions.

5)  In a couple minutes, add mushrooms, steamed carrots and broccoli.

6)  Add low-sodium soy sauce or amino acid liquid, a few drops of sesame oil, black pepper, rice vinegar, if you like.

7)  Stir fry until everything is tender.

8)  Add spinach for 30 seconds.

9)  Remove from the stove.

10) When cool, separate into 7 snack bags, 1 for each day of the week.

11) Refrigerate.

12) Now, you have a mid-afternoon snack for the next 7 days.

13) Set a phone/computer/clock alarm to facilitate this snack.

14) Do this for 7 days.

15) Repeat 1) through 14) for 2 additional weeks in a row.

16) Congratulations. You have gone through the steps to change a habit. Keep it up, and it is changed.

17) Grab your certificate below!

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DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She is more excited about the idea of looking at 1-step until that 1 step is completed. She says,

“When the mind is focused on 1 thing, it is not focused on 2 things. Of course, we need to do a physical act to make the concentration happen, as opposed to intellectually thinking about it.

“When we want to take a step for our betterment, whatever it is, if we focus our attention only on this 1 step; we are less distracted. Imagine walking a tight rope, for example. Because the risk is so great that we would become injured with less than 100% concentration, we concentrate.

“If we don’t take the same care with changing a habit, we can get off track. Easily. So, concentrate on the physical action we have decided would be in our best interest. And we will be happy with the results.”

WATER FOR WEIGHT LOSS, EMOTIONAL EATING TURNED TO HEALTHY HYDRATION (REJOICE IF YOU HAVE AN ADEQUATE WATER SUPPLY) (ISSUE 61)

By Diane Gold

Everyone knows that water is great for weight loss. And this would be helpful because there is so much emotional eating going on. Why? It helps hydrate our skin, our membranes, our very cells so that we can get the food (oxygen) to the blood effectively and the nutrients we ingest to absorb into our intestines. And it curbs food cravings.

Did you know that a huge amount of our world population does not have enough water or has to walk to get it? According to Kathleen Parker’s article, quoting Charles Fishman’s The Big Thirst (on my pending reading list), we, Westerners, use 18.5 gallons a day flushing our toilets while there is only 1/100th of 2.5 percent fresh water on the planet or, if the oceans were broken down into mass, 2.5% of the Earth’s mass. Not a lot.

So, the first thing to do is to hail the Universe if you have enough water to drink and to consider being frugal with it so that we can make money with it and fund sending workers to third-world countries to create water infrastructures so that everyone can live more easily with water.

Next thing we need to do is to consider this simple concept: drinking 2 cups of water before every meal has been clinically proven to reduce calorie intake by 75-90 calories per meal and to increase actual weight loss by 33 or so %, according to Brenda Davy’s study in the clinical trial reported to the 240th Meeting of the American Chemical Society (August, 2010) by Davy of Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, VA.

PRELUDE TO HABIT

Let’s look at what happens when we start to feel the twinges of hunger. These urges might be immediately after eating, 10 minutes after eating, an hour after, 3 hours apart or more. The amount of time between cravings is a non-judgmental number. The craving begins as an itch, which shows up when it shows up. If we don’t judge ourselves, we won’t be judged! Its intensity determines the level of self-control we need to master it.

Of course, different proteins (histamines and newly found proteins) cause the nerve fibers that control itching (apparently, there are itch grids on our skin where these fibers connect) to be stimulated. But, I was speaking about itching as an analogous to cravings. As we sometimes, automatically scratch, often times, we automatically eat to satisfy our hunger.

ACTION STEPS: THE ANSWER

As soon as we feel that twinge of hunger, we have to continue to notice it exists so that there are fewer and fewer times we are already eating food before we realize we have had a craving.

Once we start to notice the urge, it will be easier and easier to pick it out of our urge line-up. We won’t push it away, thinking it will go away as we quietly walk to the kitchen. We will acknowledge and embrace it.

1) And go get water, 16 oz. worth.

2) Drink it (2 cups of 8 oz. each) at a gentle speed. If we slow the process down, we can maximize the effect the drinking process will have on our appetite.

3) Taste the water as it is going down. Since water has no taste, we will have to be mindful of its subtle flavor, created by the minerals that accompany the water, itself.

4) Take a moment to realize that we can single-handedly change our actions to our food craving, by ourselves, with the power of our minds. The sensation that goes with food can be directed. How is different for everyone, but we can alter our actions. By the act of noticing, drinking and tasting!

5) Take a moment to jump up and down with happiness that we can be instrumental in changing our hormones so that they work for our health, not to put us in a position of weakness.

EPILOGUE AND FUTURE CRAVINGS

After we begin, it will be get much easier for us to recognize and acknowledge it when we have a food urge. Whereas before, we might have felt we had to sneak to eat, we will no longer have to sneak, since our first line of food defense can be healthy, wonderful water. Whereas before, we might have felt guilty for eating mindlessly, we can feel pride because we are eating as part of a technique.

We can take a giant step toward hydrating our body, being the master of our urges and setting our bodies up to lose weight, in the process.

CONCLUSION

The act of making change takes time and effort. That includes water for weight loss. The biggest effort is in training the mind (changing a habit) that when we have a food craving, we need to embrace it. We need to drink 16 oz. of water, slowly. This is great in theory, but…

What if we consistently find ourselves eating before we remember to drink?

We will work to remember the next time and be twice as grateful for the opportunity.

What happens if it’s not possible for us to drink 2 cups of water at one time right from the start?
We can drink what we can drink. The more we drink, the more we will be able to drink more. The more food cravings turn away from emotional eating and towards drinking water before eating, the happier and more self-confidence we will be. The more weight loss becomes our personal reality, the more we will become iron-clad believers.

What if we don’t have a supply of water to our home?

We can walk to get it and get happy exercise along the way.

For those of us in the United States and some other countries, we can be extra thankful that we do have water readily available. 2/3 of world families do not (National Geographic Society Geography Awareness Week, 2010). They have to walk to get their water; they have to transport it on shoulders, backs or holding buckets.

No need to feel bad that we have it; let’s use the water that is right in front of us: for weight loss, for hydration, for detoxification, for balance. And let’s be thankful for every sip.

FEEDBACK

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DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Moms For Healthy Daughters, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert and a dedicated mom.
She feels fortunate for having grown up with an adequate water supply. She says,

“Feeling a food craving is something we’ve felt from childhood, since we have to eat to sustain. Emotional eating shows up after that. What’s new for us now is that we have the ability to change what we do with those cravings.

“We can tell ourselves to take an action. We can adjust the command we give ourselves. Even if it is as small as immediately taking a sip or two glasses of water. Any 1 step is monumental toward changing a habit. When we take a first step, as when we are babies, it is foreign, scary, difficult. Step 2, as Jaren, 1 of the big connections in my life used to say, may be scarier because we know what lies ahead.

“Step 3 and beyond are more and more familiar and possible to achieve with less difficulty. We are swaying our emotional eating into healthy drinking, 1 step at a time. This is how we change an ineffective habit to 1 that is beneficial to us.

“We have learned determination in life and in satisfying our food cravings. We are able since we have made to here. Now, we have to begin.”
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Dedicated to the memory of Gertrude Gold, whose birthday would have been January 16. Once retired from entrepreneurship, she supported theater, music and arts, many international causes, worked at Planned Parenthood, typed Braille books for the Library of Congress. Mostly she was the great family giver who taught me always to stand up for myself and forgive. Miss you, Ma.

FOOD CRAVINGS: HOW TO MAXIMIZE THEM FOR OUR GOOD HEALTH (ISSUE 60)

By Diane Gold

Before we talk about food cravings and how to maximize them for health, I’d like to say that this article is about FAITH, not faith in someone or something else, but faith in ourselves that we may not be able to see yet. It is similar to that faith that many people attribute to a supreme entity; yet, we are going to use faith in ourselves for this lesson.

I want to mention a video clip I saw this morning. It pictures a just-turned 4-year-old girl pumping herself up by speaking positive statements to herself in the mirror. Many call these daily affirmations, you know, the kind where we tell ourselves we are amazing, happy, talented as we watch our mouth in the mirror as we say the words. This act, many have demonstrated, solidifies our belief in how amazing, happy and talented we actually are.

So, here’s a little girl, Jessica, standing on the bathroom counter, looking into her bathroom mirror, saying, with enthusiasm and self-assuredness,

“I can do anything good. I like my school; I like my dad; I like my cousins; I like my aunt; … I like my mom; I like my sister; I like my haircut… I can do anything good; I can do anything.”

DEFINING CRAVINGS

Let’s define cravings, since we all have them. A craving is a strong desire, which we all have. Synonyms for cravings are appetite, which we all need to self-sustain, and yearning or yen. If we all used our appetite for health, we would all be in good shape. But, when we talk about food cravings, we are generally speaking about following our urges without using self-control.

CHARACTER TRAITS

Like any other habit, we can change the way we act once we get our cue, which, in this case, is the food craving. So, let’s examine what we cravers have in common, for the most part.

Here are the traits that usually accompany a food craving person.

1)  Our food craving is a special cue that demands immediate attention on our part.

2)  We enjoy pleasurable sensations. We may also be experiencing what used to be pleasurable and just going through the motions.

3)  We consider the pleasure from food more important than our own health, so we are strong- willed in that we do what we decide.

4)  We are risk takers, and, like the casino gambler, we bet that eating healthier foods and amounts tomorrow is reason enough for us to gamble with our health and maintain our same habits now.

5)  We believe that eating what we currently believe to be the best pleasurable food at the moment is not such a big thing.

What we don’t count on is that, if we do this for day after day, month after month, we will seriously impair our health. But, we were willing to create a habit in the first place, so we have the ability to create another 1 or change the original one.

These traits shows we are seekers of good times, able to live for the present. They also lead to adventure and following our hearts. All of these traits are usually present in people who have not adjusted their urges to parallel how they want to look and feel. They are strong qualities that can be easily used to maximize what we do with our urges for health.

WHAT RESULTS FROM OUR CURRENT ROUTINE

When we have food cravings, and we are in the habit of acting only 1 way to them, we end up causing 1 or more of the following things to happen: we gain weight; we don’t like the fact that we gained weight; we don’t like how we look; we are replacing our sad/angry/lonely/frustrated with food; we get sick as a result of not eating well resolution.

Understanding why we act on our cravings in a way that ends up unhealthy for us is not necessary in order to add a new act to our repertoire of what routine we go through when we get the food craving cue. The important thing is what we do with the cue.

Think of a band member who is playing the wrong note because she has gotten used to playing that particular note and even enjoys how it sounds. When her band leader corrects her, she will have to change her habit to balance the group. In order to keep her job and continue playing the music that she loves, she will make the change.

It’s a little different with food, although not very. The biggest difference is that we are both the band leader and the player.

So, let’s say we have just experienced 1 of the results from our eating current routine, listed above. Let’s say we have gained weight and don’t like it. The easiest way (and 1 of the only ways) to change a habit is to tweak the routine. We have to keep at the front of our mind our weight loss goal.

ACTION STEPS

It’s time to use the character traits listed above to change our habit of bolting to eat when a craving arrives.

We have established that most of us, in some ways, are attentive to cues, pleasure lovers, strong-willed, risk takers and willing to create habits. All we have to do is immediately react to our urge cue with a new action. Much in the same way we must combat our fear when being attacked, we must automatically, whether we want to or not, get up and do something new upon feeling our craving. We have the will, and we’ve automatically done something before which is what created the habit to begin with.

1) We need to act with NO THOUGHT. Our mind will trip us into thinking. When we are thinking, we are not doing. We must be doing.

2) What we will do for our craving is go to our refrigerator and get a cup of already made steamed vegetables that we cooked at the beginning of the week to have available for snacks.

3) We can add a few drops of sesame oil and a little liquid amino acid soy-sauce alternative, for flavor. If the blandness of steamed veggies is screaming out, stir-fried veggies cooked in a drop of olive oil work, too.

4) Eating with chop sticks and chewing at least 20 times per bite, preferably 45, slows the eating process.

5) Always take a container of these veggies to work or school for 2 planned snacks, am and pm. The veggies can also be used to curb a craving at any time during the day. If we find that we need 3 cups, 2 for snacks and 1 for a craving, we will have them available.

CONCLUSION

Be confident that change is possible as long as there is a start-to-finish method in place. Even if this is the first time we ever exhibited self-control, we have a specific method with a specific action step: a systematic approach. Therefore, we all will be able to take charge and maximize our health.

Maybe we won’t succeed on day one, but day two brings another opportunity. An attempt must be made each time we have a craving so that we can get our current routine to match our current goals. What’s the worst that will happen? We will eat healthy veggies for snack. In having these veggies nearby, we will create a new habit. Our success might start off slowly, but our results will be positive, with the patience we will establish.

We will find new, exciting flavors in our veggies, too. That is something to look forward to.

Make sure not to warm our veggies, even if we think there is time. This is food kung fu. Get used to cold veggies since there is no time to spare between the food craving, our cue, and our satisfaction of that craving with a healthy action.

Microwave ovens rob nutrients from our food, and stoves take longer than our craving will wait. Eventually, when we have changed our habit from “cue to instant eating” to “cue to patience to eating healthily,” warming our veggies may be an option.

And, finally, rejoice, this is a food adventure and the next chapter in our self-mastery.

FEEDBACK

Please leave  a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Moms For Healthy Daughters, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert and a dedicated mom.

She believes we can change a habit but changing our routine, as long as there is a system in place in which to do it. She says,

“We always create habits, so we are practiced at this aspect of behavior. We are also not new at changing the ways that we act. We do it all the time, based on how we feel, how we must act in social settings and how we consider others who might be affected by our actions. So, we are experienced.

“All we need do is prepare what we are going to do, smile or frown and do it. The next time, it will be easier, and the next time, even easier. Pretty soon, we will be accomplished and moderately comfortable at the new action step, so much so that it will become our new habit.

“To succeed, we must have faith in ourselves and begin!”

CROSSROADS: SUCCESSFULLY CHOOSING THE WAY WE MAKE DECISIONS (ISSUE 58)

By Diane Gold

Congratulations. The crossroads ahead is a grand opportunity.

The definition for crossroads is intersection, focal point, turning point. This means a crossroads is a time in life that is perpendicular to, yet entwined with, whatever is happening in life. It also means we are giving razor sharp attention to an issue. And, finally, it means we are going to evaluate the best direction we can take to efficiently support the most positive development of our lives.

When we decide we are going to change our weight to help ourselves, we are at a crossroads. This also holds true when we take time to decide to buy solar cars, LED lights, compost our food waste, forgive someone, go back to school, have a baby, or join a peace process. We will furnish this article with weight loss in mind, although our world, our humanity, currently, is at a major crossroads of what makes sense to sustain the human race well.

The weight loss goal is huge because it relates to almost every aspect of our everyday lives. Often times, we have to change many behaviors of our eating process in order to change 1: the way we move, the way we rest and the restaurant or food preparation routines we have grown to love.

Fortunately and happily for us, we get to develop new and wonderful ways of acting in all these areas. Imagine finding the most delectable food at our new favorite restaurant or cooking healthier, lighter, more satisfying foods for ourselves and any others who are in our lives. And what about the prospect of developing new friends who also eat well and care for their bodies. This is a real treat.

Remember the story about the man in the flood who didn’t take a ride in his neighbor’s car because he said he was waiting for god to save him? And when the water rose and he fled to his second floor, he still wouldn’t take an escape ride from a fire truck because god was going to save him? And after the water rose and he fled to his roof, he still wouldn’t take a ride when a helicopter threw down a ladder because he was waiting for god to save him? And, when he reached heaven and asked god why he hadn’t saved him, and god said,

“I sent you a car, a fire truck and a helicopter; and wasn’t that enough?”

It’s a story about crossroads and opportunity. We have many throughout our time. Whether we see the right cues determines our outcome. Some people go with the flow automatically. Others fight the inevitable or refuse to be flexible.

I know it always takes me a few minutes to process the possibility of change, a few minutes to get used to the idea and another several minutes to accept the change. This usually takes a good 30 minutes. It’s very comforting to watch myself through this process. I usually laugh at myself during it, as I am so predictable to myself. Luckily for me, because of my mother’s bright attitude and the practicality for which my martial arts work has prepared me, I always, and I mean always, end up looking for the good in the crossroads.

Certainly, it’s not always fun to shake ourselves up and make life changing decisions that will take us down new paths and throw us into a new direction that we might not have orchestrated entirely or at all. But, to see it as an opportunity, opens up great promise.

THE CHOICES

So what are the choices we have before us?

1) We can rebel and stomp our feet at our new situation. If we turn music on and stomp to it, we can turn our reaction into a totally therapeutic action. Verbalizing to the music helps us to accept the change, too, as is done in improv or rap.

2) We can resent our situation and turn our grudge inward. Obviously, this weighs us down and needs a replacement strategy.

3) We can remain calm, ask for help if we need it and look at the pros of our new situation. Of course, it’s always good to be balanced and positive. Not always easy and not always sensible. It always pays to stay aware and focused.
___

Whichever direction we choose at our crossroads; the happier, healthier, more fulfilled we become, the better life we are creating for ourselves. So, we can agree that to give ourselves extra weight of any kind changes balance, confidence and peace of mind. That’s why no matter which crossroads are in front of us, the same action process applies.

ACTION STEPS

Pick 1)(a) or 1)(b) to start.

1)(a) Pick a crossroads in front of you that has to do with replacing bad fat 1 time a week with good fat 1 time a week OR

1)(b) Pick a crossroads in front of you that has to do with moving to a town where you have to change schools or jobs and don’t know anyone.

2) Prepare to make a list of the pros and cons that come along with 1 of these crossroads. They will both affect the appetite. Also, feel free to substitute the crossroads.

3) Write 5 pros and 5 cons for the scenario you choose. Here’s an example of 1)(a), such as

PRO: “I want to lose weight and changing bad fat to good fat 1 time a week will start to cleanse my body.”

CON: “I won’t be able to use my beloved fat to calm down on the day I don’t use the bad fat. Can I handle it? Yes.”

4) Prioritize the pros and cons, eliminating the bottom 2.

5) Finally, pick the biggest pro and the biggest con and proceed in a way that will improve you.

6) To top it off, write a few sentences on how you will maximize the pro, including 3 action steps you would like to make happen. Send it to us, either just to declare it or if you would like to share it. If you are stuck at any point, let us know so we can help you.

CONCLUSION

Life is full of crossroads. They always show up, in our personal lives and in our lives as global citizens. Every time we make a life decision, we are at a crossroads. Every time we vote, we are at a crossroads. We can look at our choices as necessary steps leading us forward. We can also savor the opportunities they bring and use the pro and con method to ensure that we come to the most efficient understanding of our crossroads as they arrive.

FEEDBACK

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DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Moms For Healthy Daughters, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert and a dedicated mom.
She likes to feel strong and very much enjoys using many body parts at the same time. She says,

“When we engage in an exercise that seems to use 1 part of the body alone, we are really accessing so many other body parts and body systems that we have an opportunity to rejuvenate ourselves each time. When we do 1 simple exercise correctly, it starts a chain reaction that manifests in other parts of our mind and body than the 1 whose name is in the title slot. It’s good to focus the attention on 1 body part with the understanding that each exercise affects many.”

APPETITE CONTROL: HOW SAVING SOMEONE OTHER THAN OURSELVES CAN BALANCE OUR APPETITE (ISSUE 57)

By Diane Gold

Appetite is a tricky thing. It depends upon the interplay of hormones, insulin, activity, fatigue and our personal control.

Leptin suppresses appetite. Lack of it causes us to crave food.

Ghrelin increases appetite. A lot of it signals the brain that we are hungry.

Adiponectin signals fat-burning. If we don’t have enough, our body won’t burn fat.

If we eat too many sweets, there’s too much sugar in our blood stream which can disrupt insulin production which leads to the body’s storing fat.

There is a lot of juicy research on all this stuff, but, for now, let’s state that these hormones are very complicated. There are some side effects from using leptin and ghrelin as medicine, so far, we can’t use those whenever we have the wrong urge.

Adiponectin, aside from weakening bone cells in older people, has positive research behind it as an aid for big overweight issues.

Researchers are currently working on developing the perfect relief from gaining weight.

Here’s where saving the planet comes in.

When we get involved in a cause, a project, a special job; we find spiritual nourishment. It is like food for the body as it is food for the mind. We may get obsessed. Certainly, our minds become busy with the project, so much so that we may forget our food urges.

When we are making a difference, be it helping impoverished communities to get drinking water or helping the homeless woman who sits on the bench; we like how we feel when we give of ourselves. We like it more than our favorite snack. It is a warm, internal satisfaction that increases our productivity (and our metabolism) which reduces our craving for food.

How often have we lost weight when we fell in love, had to care for our friend’s health condition, became mothers, did fundraising for orphans? These activities required selfless action on our part, and we do it wholeheartedly without taking time out to overeat.

I’ve seen people working on behalf of others where their work has taken away the urge to overeat, the urge to smoke, the urge to drug (although there are physical side effects when we change some habits). Saving Others And Our Planet is phenomenal.

If I were building housing for abandoned cats, I would be nourishing myself through helping cats.  I can remember 1 day when one of our cats had kittens. My children and I spent every free moment tending to the kitties (mostly looking for them) as soon as Momma Cat would let us near them. We were consumed.

Then there was teaching music. I spent lots of my free time working with these emotionally and developmentally challenged kids. And through my wonderful principal’s approval, I was able to buy turntables and teach them mixing. Increasing their self-esteem made me full (which I discuss below).

I always ended up getting spiritual nourishment from their success. What an opportunity working with kids whose parents either left them or abused them. And I was involved in their strengthening themselves through mixing records and words.

Before we look at the ways to get involved, let’s look at the 3 things that change us and, ultimately, change our relationship with our appetite.

1)
FULLNESS FROM GETTING INVOLVED
It’s that feeling of joy, confidence, belonging, importance that goes along with the giving. This feeling, itself, can melt away our cravings. When we feel satisfied, whether it be from physical or mental pleasure; we feel balanced and full. It’s this fullness that we are looking for.

There is a similar but different feeling. It is a separate satisfaction that comes from stepping outside of our own world and getting involved in someone else’s. It happens when we successfully teach anything.

2)
INCREASE IN METABOLISM
When we do physical work, we fire up our metabolism. This reduces our appetite.

3)
THE SECRET: SELF-ESTEEM
There is a feeling that occurs after the fullness of joy and metabolic change. It is subtle but has everything to do with changing the habit of eating too much that is dissuaded by reduction in appetite. It is the tipping point.

The secret is that our self-esteem increases as we feel all the fullness and the good feeling from reduced appetite. We are happy to make more of an effort to succeed at our food plan when we look better in our eyes, we feel better from eating less because of the spiritual/emotional fullness and the metabolic boost and we actually are better because of the healthier way we have been living.

Self-esteem created by the first 2 factors permeates one’s essence and is the driving force in changing a habit. We want to savor this feeling when it arrives.

LEVELS OF INVOLVEMENT: WE PICK THE ACTION STEP RIGHT FOR EACH OF US

Typically there are 7 ways in which to become involved in something other than ourselves. These examples are examples and represent the depth with which we are willing to go to contribute of ourselves.

We welcome all examples in the comment section.

1) MOBILE PHONE DONATION

We can donate $10 to a charity by mobile phone should we use a major carrier. I learned today that we can even pick a specific micro-loan project and donate once.
This type of involvement doesn’t burn many calories. It does feed us spiritually, knowing we have helped. Not everyone has a spare $10. Almost everyone in the US has $1.

2) AUTOMATICALLY DONATING MONEY MONTHLY

Donating money is fantastic. It allows us to become bigger than ourselves. The fact that we are doing it regularly connects us to the cause itself.

Again, not many calories are burned, nor is there the physical workout that increases metabolism. Plus, giving money may not be an option.

3) REPAIRING 1 HOUSE AFTER A NATURAL DISASTER

Donating our time is huge. When we decide to give our precious time to others, we are giving up something big.

Fortunately, house repair requires physical work. Therefore, we will expend calories, learn something about construction and increase metabolism. This is 1 circumstance in which saving outside ourselves saves us as well.

4) REGULARLY VOLUNTEERING AT THE LITERACY PROGRAM

Giving of expertise is a wonderful thing. We pass on what we know.
The time it takes to be with someone is time away from eating. Helping someone’s lot in life feels good. However, we don’t expend many calories while we are reading, if it’s at the local library and we drive to the library. We could always opt to walk or bicycle to the library to do the volunteering. Or we could teach the lesson at the beach or on a mountain, both of which we could walk to in order to get there. Giving the skill of reading will change someone’s life forever. Walking to do it regulates our weight.

5) VOLUNTEERING FOR A WEEK TO HELP KIDS LEARN FARMING, FOOD GATHERING, BRIDGE BUILDING

1 week’s program can get us really motivated to take an active role in the particular project. 1 week might turn into 2 weeks.

6)  VOLUNTEERING FOR A MONTH TO HELP KIDS LEARN FARMING, FOOD GATHERING, OR SOME TYPE OF CONSTRUCTING STRUCTURES

A month of involvement can turn into deeper involvement. This method of caring for others takes our time, consumes our free time and helps those who are less fortunate than we.
Should we be involved to this point, our self-esteem will be full on, and our habit of overeating will be replaced by our habit of our volunteering work.

7) MAKING YEAR-ROUND PROJECT WORK A PERMANENT PART OF OUR LIVES

This type of involvement would fortify us on a permanent basis. We could even opt to work with kids who were struggling with weight as long as we could keep the snacks to veggies.

CONCLUSION

It is quite accurate that our hormones regulate our appetite, that we are born predisposed to a certain way. What is also true is that we have the ability to take action, no matter what our hormones are doing. What can happen in that case is that our own efforts can supersede and change our biology. It happens all the time. This is the process of making a change through saving someone other than ourselves.

FEEDBACK

Please leave  a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Moms For Healthy Daughters, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert and a dedicated mom.
She is motivated by motivation. She says,

“We are small beings, but we have huge power, even the power to change our own biology. If we reach out and become absorbed in creativity, productivity, love of another; we change our hormones as well as our lives and the lives of others.”

THE PEACE PROCESS: PHASE 2 (ISSUE 56)

By Diane Gold

In December 3rd’s article, The Peace Process: A Step-By-Step Formula, we talked about being able to understand conflicting views and really listening to the answers. Action steps were offered which included speaking with the 2 members of opposing geo-politico-religious sides and, by doing so, earning the trust of each.

If you haven’t seen it, go here.

OVERVIEW OF PHASE 2

After conversing with both participants on opposite sides of a brutally large conflict (PHASE 1); we, at least, have a better understanding of the passions and the tensions that run so very deep, including the history that has transpired, the way each side was brought up to think about the other, the atrocities incurred from the eyes of either side.

We may even think, as I originally did before I started having these discussions, the process might be simple, if only we would begin.  Very difficult if each sees the actions of the other as breaking the covenants of the rules of leading a reverent and noble life.

So Phase 2 has to be about creating a discussion between a neutral person and 2 participants on the same side, with 1 of those agreeing to role play a member of the opposite side: Phase 2 of the Peace Process Formula.

There’s no rush to get to this phase, and the initial discussion must take as long as it takes for trust to develop between the original participant and the neutral party. And, then again, the trust may not be 100% because we, the neutral parties, are outsiders in the eyes of the participants whose lives have been engulfed in the conflict. And it is common to hear,

“You cannot understand. You are not from there.”

Thomas L.  Friedman, former Jerusalem Bureau Chief of The New York Times and Pulitzer Prize winner, puts it this way in his Op-Ed column on December 8,

“…there is an unspoken question in the mind of virtually every [person who lives in a conflicted country] that you need to answer correctly: ‘Do you understand what neighborhood I’m living in?’ If [these country women and men] smell that you don’t, their ears will close to you.”

THE PEACE PROCESS FORMULA builds trust in the participants and the process.
I believe it is possible to help people achieve their goal of a peaceful community – even if we, the helpers, have limited knowledge of the others’ neighborhood or situation. This fact doesn’t dismiss how important the others’ situation is. It just bases its method upon our common human nature and not on our common neighborhood.

The Peace Process Formula goes for any goal. There is only 1 requirement: believe in people who honor unique situations with complicated agendas, but who believe we are similar to a precision with simple needs. It is this sameness of our humanity that allows us to supersede the objections that “we cannot be helped by strangers who do not know the neighborhood” so that this process can, inevitably, resolve conflict.  Trust and sincerity are the keys.

MOVING TOWARD OUR OBJECTIVE

If a method, program or an infrastructure is created for people to progress forward in their lives; anyone can use it with the same success.

It is not necessary for the moderator (the neutral person in this process) to have been in the struggle personally.

It is necessary for each side of a conflict to trust the moderator, mediator, arbitrator, counselor.
Often times, because the participant sees the neutral 3rd party, the moderator as “not being 1 of us,” trust is not established and the patience required to work the process is not cultivated.
For conflict resolution to occur, the Peace Process Formula must not be rushed. And each step must be followed sequentially.

PREREQUISITE KNOWLEDGE

Tensions that make geo-politico-religious conflict have taken years to develop.
These conflicts require delicate work since everyone on both sides has been offended many times.

In order to achieve peace, judgment on the part of the moderator is not part of the process. Listening and resolving are.

Trust must be acquired between the moderator and each person in the process.

PHASE 2 ROLE PLAY – THE RULES

1) 2 participants who take the same side who are willing to answer questions about the conflict in their country must be found. They should both be on the same side of a geo-politico-religious conflict.

2) 1 of the participants must be willing to play the role of the opposing view for this phase of the process.

3) Since the process will be extremely difficult, it must be established that there will be no voice raising and no disrespectful language and that a break from the discussion can be requested by asking the moderator if s/he can disengage the discussion.

4) Next, congratulate your participants for coming to the table in the first place.

ACTION STEPS

1) Participants will be asked to pretend to be a Leader for World Peace and peace for her (his) respective geographic area. This means each participant must consider the lives of everyone involved. 1 participant will be the leader for her (his) usual side. 1 participant will be a leader for her (his) usually opposing side.

2) With peace in mind, participants shall be asked to make a list of 10 changes they would like to occur to achieve that.

3) Participants shall be asked to prioritize the 10 changes.

4) Participants shall be asked to eliminate the least important 5 changes.

5) Participants will be asked to alter each change and break it down to a smaller version of itself. Make sure to do this for all 5 changes.

Here are examples:

If the 5th change on the list were to raise the community flag in a particular location every day, you might be able to change that to raising the flag 1 day a week instead to begin.

If the 5th change on the list were to acquire 5 miles of land, you might be able to change this to 1 mile of land instead.

6) The moderator will have each participant read from the top of the list: first 1 person reads change 1. Then the other person reads her (his) change 1.

7) This continues, alternating, 1, then the other, until the entire list is read.

8)  A copy of each list will be given to each participant.

9) Each participant will be given no more than 15 minutes to comment next to each item. Of course, extra time (up to 30 minutes) can be given.

10) After each participant is finished, the moderator shall collect the lists.

11) The moderator will go over rule number 3 to temper speech and words.

12) The moderator will read the responses to the items on the list out loud and ask for 5 minutes of comment on each. The replies will be timed.

13) The moderator will thank both participants and ask if they would be willing to come back again after giving the ideas some thought or some research.

CONCLUSION

The Peace Process Formula has been developed to make small changes in a safe environment. It is easy to blow up and stop the process, as world peace issues show us every day. This method has been devised, in part, to create understanding of issues of conflict for outsiders, but mostly, to start to grow roots of peace that can lead to lasting peace.

Phase 3 of the Formula will be published soon. It is powerful and hopeful and on time.
If you would like to become involved in this process, as a participant or as a moderator, please let us know or leave a comment below. Becoming involved in this process can replace many less meaningful activities, including making poor food choices. It can also build the pride and joy that comes along with being involved in something bigger than ourselves.

FEEDBACK

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DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert and a dedicated mom.
She is thrilled with The Peace Process Formula. She says,

“Small changes on a regular basis add up to medium changes and then large changes. Those of us whose duty it is to help, let’s do this. Those of us who would like to observe, we welcome it.

“Did you ever notice how there have been times when we are not correct about an outcome. It is my hope that the adversaries and the friends who use this process will grow from it, and, if so, grow the method of the process of peace that can contribute greatly to all our lives.”

THE PEACE PROCESS: A STEP-BY-STEP FORMULA TO ACHIEVE PEACE (ISSUE 55)

By Diane Gold

The peace process is a methodical, step-by-step method that needs simple, focused attention and caring patience. Since we humans can truly focus in on only 1 activity at a time (even though we are a society of multitaskers), when it comes right down to it, when we target our attention in 1 place, it cannot be in another place at that very moment.

This means if we are working actively on the peace process, we have the chance not to be concerned with our food, our overeating, overindulgence, overzealousness, anger, jealously, greed, our finances or any of the other negative things that may reduce our greatness.

In the article, Peace And Prejudice, from June 4 of this year, we talk about how looking at the sameness in human beings can lead us to harmony and tolerance. I have said many times as has Charles Duhigg in his book, The Power Of Habit, that, in order to stop manifesting an old behavior, we have to learn and act out a new one.

Think of the video store clerk of 20 years wearing jeans to work every day who gets a job in an uptown law firm where suits are required. By wearing a suit, she feels different, looks different, acts different, is a little different. After months of suit-wearing and interacting with other suits in her law firm position; the suit truly becomes her and it is difficult to remember going to work in jeans (even if that attire might be preferable).

Another example, that I do not know firsthand, is how quickly we transform from civilian to soldier. One minute, we have a no combat life. The next, we are in a war.

The dynamics of changing the way we act holds true for eating and acquiring an overweight status; being a good example as a mother as well as acting in a harmonic way in the realm of the peace process. When we focus our attention on studying, our attention is not on food. When we are listening, we are not talking.

When we take a shower, we are not playing tennis. When we are determined to create harmony instead of promote prejudice, we are busy being mindful of the work through which harmony may be achieved. We are doing important work and are more willing to substitute the gratitude and joy that come with peace work for satisfying a food craving. And, focused work equals fewer cravings.

This leads us to the step-by-step Peace Process, which is more of a listening process and not a speaking process. The idea here is to get to know the person who has been in this situation, if you have not. If you, yourself, have been in this situation as you grew up, eliminate step 1) and please ask these questions of yourself instead.

ACTION STEPS ARE THE PEACE PROCESS

1)
Say “YES” to being willing to be a moderator for this process.
There is no time commitment. This step just affirms that you are going to work this formula once with 1 person. We always change our minds as to what actions support the way we want to live. We are free to do so here as we see fit. This 1 “YES’ gets the process started.

2)
Find 1 person who has lived under in a location where there is or has been political or religious terrorism. This can be done face-to-face through someone we know or someone who is a click away in our social media list.

3)
Ask this individual to sit and talk by an invitation to have tea. If this is an online meeting, consider it is tea time and actually pour a cup of tea. This grounds the conversation.

4)
Remember that you want to listen and not speak, for the most part. Tell the individual you want to learn and that this is about your understanding.

5)
Ask the following 7 questions.

a.     Is it OK to ask you a little about your experience so that I can understand a little bit?

b.    How old were you when you had your first encounter with terrorism in your location?

c.    How often did you have terrorism in your location?

d.    What precautions did you have to take?

e.    How did this form you as a person?

f.    Why did you think these people wanted to hurt you?

g.     If you were given the chance to talk to someone taught to attack you, would you allow her 1 minute to speak about what she was taught?

h.     Say thank you for being allowed to learn. Realize that you are honored to receive the information.

6)
Ponder what you have heard, and give yourself time to understand it. If we rush in without consideration for those who have lived for years in strife, we ignore what is absolutely necessary to make the peace process work: other people’s realities.

I want to refer to and salute a close friend of mine who was raised around air raids and bombings. When she said I, an American civilian, couldn’t possibly understand what it was like since I hadn’t experienced it – and we love and respect each other as sisters – I realized it was my duty to learn more about her experiences and the passionate feelings that go along with someone’s having lived in harm’s way as a child and a teen where the only “I Declare War” I knew was a game we played using a pink rubber ball on a safe suburban street.

I believe that the learning process ahead of you and me is making the peace process a reality.

CONCLUSION

The conclusion here is the peace process itself, not talking about it but getting going on making it happen. Follow the simple method above and, please, pass it on.

In order for us to have peace, we must be aware of how each side in conflict feels. We can learn this information and build trust at the same time through sincerely employing the action steps above. Once each of us starts the process and sees the value of passing it on, there will be firmer ground from which we can be the bridge makers of peace. We must be consistent, understanding and kind.

                                                  LET US START NOW.

                                                  WE CAN DO THIS!

*This issue is dedicated to my father who passed 49 years ago yesterday at age 49. To Harry!*

FEEDBACK

Please leave  a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Moms For Healthy Daughters, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert and a dedicated mom.
She is concerned with tolerance and peace. She says,

“Each of us is responsible for the world’s peace. Each time we act with intolerance, we lose an opportunity to lead. Each time we take the time to understand an adversary or someone who is causing adversarial feelings or action, we lead by example. If each of us curbed an intolerance one time a day, we could develop the patience we want to teach our children and our enemies.”

BELIEF IN SELF: 5 WAYS TO CREATE BELIEF
(Issue 46)

By Diane Gold

How to create belief in self is something we usually don’t talk about. We talk about believing. We talk about belief systems. We talk about how people who are successful have belief in self. We talk about people without belief falling into dark holes. We also talk about their digging themselves out when some belief shows up. But it’s uncommon to hear about what steps were taken to create belief.

In the martial arts, we are given a method to build ourselves into warriors of peace. The method is a systematic approach to understanding. The same is taught when learning music, dance, meditation, science, philosophy, religion, medicine, sports, language and any other discipline that exists. So, if we can learn other disciplines, why not be able to learn about belief?

(Anecdote: This reminds me of myself in college. I was part way between my finishing in music ed and starting in music therapy, and I thought about doing a PhD. I always wanted to have one so I could be called doctor. (We can be shallow at the same time that we have some depth.) I also really wanted to study whether there were a method to teach rhythm and pitch. That hasn’t happened yet, but I was reminded of my believing I could prove some such mechanism that is now being studied through central pattern generators in the neural network.)

ACT AS IF

We are the directors of our own movie as well as the main actor. We can will ourselves to prepare our face, our voice, our mind, our body to be a confident, capable, skilled competent person we are with with full ability to achieve, to resist what we want and to choose whatever we want.

When we do this, we may not see ourselves as confident. We may not feel that we are confident in this belief we are throwing on ourselves. But many other humans have achieved belief in themselves using these methods.

ACTION STEP

Tell the mind it is time for you.
Tell the mind you will succeed.
Be brave.

WarriorsofWeight Consulting
Click the image below for a helping hand.

REJUVENATION STANCE

Rejuvenate with 1 minute of silent standing, devices turned off, preferably in an alone space, but not essential.

Whatever our circumstance, however far we feel away from believing in ourselves; standing still will rejuvenate us. So that’s the beginning.

ACTION STEP

Standing, put the feet together with arms hanging down at sides.
Stand still, and close your eyes.
Lower the chin a tiny bit, so that the back of the neck is not pinched.
Slowly let a smile come to the lips.
If it wants to turn into a giant grin, let it.
It if makes you feel like laughing, go ahead.

POSTURE

We have all felt ourselves straighten up a little bit, walk a little straighter when we want to impress a prospective employer or romantic interest. Posture is crucial in creating belief. When we pull up from the top of the head, notice the straightness of our spine and deliberately become more aware of not slouching; we feel more confident, our respiration is fuller so we actually get more oxygen to our lungs and take the pressure off our muscles to get it there. Our speech is clearer, and we sometimes feel a bit of endorphins when we straighten up.

ACTION STEP

Straighten the posture on a regular basis. At least 3 conscious times a day. You’ll be glad you did.

MIRROR

Tell yourself you believe in you!

ACTION SEQUENCE

Go to a mirror with the attitude that you want to believe in yourself. On your way to get the mirror if it’s a hand mirror, or to the location of a wall mirror; strengthen the posture concept by remembering to straighten yourself, at least, throughout this mirror segment of the exercise.

Look in the mirror.
Say the words,

“I believe in me,”

10 different ways, with a smile on your face and love (for yourself) in your heart.

CHEERLEADER

Get an outside cheerleader!

ACTION STEP

Get a cheerleader.
If you have a friend, ask the friend to tell you she believes in you with the words,

“You can do it.”

This is very personal work. If you find you don’t have the kind of friend you can ask, be happy and go watch this video for a little support: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ2HcRl4wSk . It might also help to go tell someone like the video store clerk, the bagel store clerk, the postwoman, a stranger.

CONCLUSION

The secret ingredients to belief are CONSISTENCY, REPETITION, FOLLOW THROUGH. Just as with any process, the more familiar we get with it, the more we become it. Creating belief is not an easy task. But it will empower us regularly to create, help others, be productive and feel good.

One last memory from both music and martial arts training is that it takes a good 20 years to learn a craft, a process, become stable, understand a personal destiny. Belief in self is something one becomes familiar with in time. Just like learning a language, learning hip-hop, becoming proficient at sobriety, becoming comfortable with any change in habit; creating belief is a life-changing process that filters in with work. It is a way of being that needs cultivation. Once it shows its face in our lives, we will be motivated to keep it alive. Don’t take it for granted, and remember to nurture it.

Whatever lies ahead, the time to start creating belief is now. It’s worth the pursuit and will accompany you wherever you go once it is created.

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DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Moms For Healthy Daughters, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert and a dedicated mom.
She believes we can create our path and create along the path and that that lesson is one for every student in every school. Diane says,

“As powerful as our minds are, we should certainly have a required class in the concept of belief, not the philosophical discussion of different beliefs, but the mechanism of how to reach self-belief. We look for it. It grounds us. It drives us, and it heals us. If we all understood that we could develop it, our lives would be fuller, and we’d be more available to better our world.”

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WRITING FOR WEIGHT LOSS: A WAY TO CURB OUR URGE TO EAT (Issue 42)

By Diane Gold

Did you ever think about Writing For Weight Loss or any other reason and the benefits writing can have on our habits and our lives?

I had the good fortune of having my grandfather publish one of my poems in the Newburgh News in 1958 about a Halloween Witch. And then, I had another published, Blackie’s Kittens. The thrill of seeing my work published had a profound effect on me, but the ease of publishing now would have had a much more impactful effect on me.

Back then, someone had to call a newspaper editor and convince the editor how great the poem. It probably helped that he was the town’s dentist. Today, of course, work must be approved by the current editor inside the powerful publishing machine; but, generally, distributing our writing for weight loss, fun, fame, fortune, recognition, therapy, legacy or any other reason is not so complicated and is much easier. All we have to do is open up a writing device – a tablet, phone, laptop, journal, recorder, or, yes, even a paper pad – write something from our head or our heart and – bam – blast it out to the world via internet.

As moms who care deeply about their daughters, we have the wonderful responsibility and opportunity to introduce as much awesomeness to our daughters as possible. If we love music, we show our daughters its value, whether it be for listening or creating. If we believe in volunteering our time for literacy.

We (almost all of us, that is) learn reading and writing as a requirement as part of our primary education, whether in school or in home school. Writing allows us to fill out ID forms, connect with financial institutions, describe what we are learning in school and it is a vehicle with which we can express ourselves. Did you ever notice how daughters of creatives often spend their lives creating also? Part of it is environmental, habit formed.

ACTION STEPS

Today, we can begin having a public column in about 15 minutes flat. We put up a blog and start writing. We can write about the food we love, the qualities of our dream partner or the ethics of the common woman. This is the very activity I am advocating for moms as examples for their daughters: to write creatively for self-expression, to soothe ourselves, to build personal imagination and creativity in ourselves and a tool to curb our urge to eat.

The very act of sitting down to write takes us away from the refrigerator, the candy store, the menu for pizza. It should be a spot away from distraction and food, a place where we would have to be inconvenienced to get up and get food should we get the urge.

I believe everyone should have a written record. We have such full and colorful lives, even though, as I’ve said before, boredom is a big complaint.

“Why did you eat?”
“I was bored.”
“Why did you use drugs?”
“I was bored.”
“Why did you play music?”
“I was bored.”
“Why did you write?”
“I was bored.”
“Why did you teach someone to read?”
“I was bored.”
“Why did you write a book?”
“I was bored.”

Obviously, being creative and giving to others is more fulfilling in the long run. It is helpful if we have a model in our home to follow.

We can get started with the simple things to write about:

HOW WE FEEL

Of course, everyone can write about how we feel. And we should. It is part of our legacy.
Sometimes, we see what looks like too much personal talk in social media, such as
“I am going to So-And-So Restaurant to eat Such-And-Such hummus dish.”

A lot of this is subtle social calling, that is, when we say where we are going, others may meet us there. When we talk about the food we eat, we are billboards for our favorite restaurant. We may even be getting free food from our favorite eatery for spreading the word to our social media tribe.

Friends enjoy news about friends. Others can read something else or write, themselves.

OUR GREATEST PASSION

Let’s say we are moms, and our greatest passion is our daughter. We can’t sit around smothering our beloved daughter by saying,

“Oh, you are my greatest passion. The very fact that you are my daughter makes my life massively important.”

We can say that once in a while, but, unless we want to drive our daughters to dependence or embarrassment, we need another outlet. Writing is such an outlet. Of course, we need to respect the privacy of our daughters, which means talking about them online, so we need to think this through, too.

Which is why it might be best to write about another passion, such as dancing, gardening, raising the education standards, marching for animal rights or politics. Whatever it is, this is who we are. When we write about it, we are taking a stand and showing our daughters how to take a stand through writing and taking action. And our writing will help our cause in the process.

AN INSPIRATIONAL STORY

We all have had struggles, and the fact that we are reading this is proof that we made it through those struggles. Most of us have also shared in the good times.
In sharing some of our stories, we inspire others. It is not ours to choose who gets inspired by what we write, but sharing our own stories is a way of contributing positively to our community and our world. It makes us free, is a good example for our daughters to emulate and adds to the pool of resources that exist to make a better world.

EXPERT KNOWLEDGE

Every one of us has some expert information in some area. We sometimes forget that we are experts until, one day, it dawns on us. We could be an expert in how to sew, sell, wash, organize, diagnose, prevent, heal, create, protect, find for cheap, meditate, pray. Some of these things skills are so natural to us that we forget that we have them.

Just the other day, I realized that I am super experienced at feeling and acting upon urges, in other words, an expert. I wouldn’t have said it out loud, nor would many ever admit this fact, but I realized how many dozens of times I had acted upon the same urge, knew what it felt like, knew what it could lead to, knew how to train myself to change my actions upon feeling this urge. My conclusion: I could put on my resume that I am an expert in urges.

And today, I wasn’t surprised when Charles Duhigg, in The Power Of Habit, was saying how we don’t have to do much brain activity when we do something we’ve done a bunch of times already, when he said,

“…subconscious mechanisms…impact the countless choices that seem as if they’re products of well-reasoned thought, but actually are influenced by urges most of us barely recognize or understand,”

meaning that most of the time we are not using our brain to make choices for things that have already become habitual. We are only gliding through a sliding pond of acts we know quite well to execute acts which fulfill an urge we put in our “habit library” a while ago.

No matter how we got it, what we know is worth writing about. Someone will value the information. And it is part of our personal legacy. And in terms of our daughters, if they are writing, they will not be eating. Thus, writing for weight loss gets its name.

IF WE COULD HAVE ONE WISH

If everyone wrote about what we wished for, we would have a lot more activism and a lot less extra eating. Writing can be a step further than wishing, and others get to hear about it. Make sure to use the right keywords a few times in whatever is written. Keywords drive searches on the internet.

It can be personal, and writing about it could cause us to take action on it. It could be community based or it could be philosophical. It’s all worth expressing.

CONCLUSION

I don’t mean to be cliché-like, but Do It Now. Write.

It’s pleasurable, it allows us to talk about ourselves and our beliefs. We can access ourselves, we can mock ourselves, we can get to know ourselves better, we can share our knowledge to help others. There is every reason to write.

We want to be examples to our daughters, and here is another opportunity to show them a way to curb appetite by changing biology through writing. It is said we can only concentrate on 1 thing at a time. So, if we are writing for weight loss, we are not eating. True, 2 things can be in our head, but 1 is always the primary focus.

With time, we can make our focus productive and control what we do when we get an urge to eat. To help us along, we can pour a glass of water. Then we can get some already cut veggie sticks or baked veggie sticks that we keep around for snacking. Then, we can begin to write, knowing we have healthy snacks and water close by and that our daughters can use this behavior to their success, too.

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FEEDBACK

Please leave a comment and a LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Moms For Healthy Daughters, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert and a dedicated mom.
She has written lyrics early on in her music career and has been writing for the past 15 years. She believes it is a great outlet, a productivity motivator and a great way to enhance personal development. Diane says,

“We all have something to say. We may not have the confidence to realize it, but our experiences make a difference to others, especially our daughters. We can each inspire through sharing our stories, get inspired by getting comments on our writing. It is a great way to balance the day by knowing there will be self-expression in it. It’s a way to work on our language skills. It’s a place to share our feelings. It is a beautiful habit to cultivate. It is there for all of us.”