AT PEACE WITH DIANE GOLD INTERNET RADIO SHOW

How Health & Wellness Transform Us To Create Peaceful, Ethical Solutions For Others! Tuesdays at 2 pm

From integrative health to peacemaking, from disciplines, therapies, all world medicines, from nutrition to surgery to ethics to peaceful conflict resolution; join Diane Gold every Tuesday for a fun, thoughtful and informative journey into health, wellness and peace. ONE ACTION STEP will be shared during each show.

DIANE GOLD, THE SHOW’S HOST, IS INTERVIEWED BY NICOLE ALEXANDRA SHIPLEY

Diane is an expert in personal development
a passionate interviewer & the author of The Airplane Workout.

PEACE NEEDS A BRIDGE: HOW TO BUILD IT AND KEEP IT OPEN (ISSUE 67)

By Diane Gold

Peace Needs A Bridge! Not a new concept, but 1 whose time has come. Again.

In November, 1969, I ended up going to the Palm Beach Pop Music Festival, a glorious lifetime game changer of 3 cold, wet and muddy days where I saw Janis Joplin, The Rolling Stones, Iron Butterfly and a host of other musicians, friends, action. Yes, they were singing about peace and what was wrong with our time with our presence in Vietnam very much on our minds. We wore tie dyed t-shirts, flowers in our hair, peace signs on our clothing and marched for various freedoms which are now common place.

Present day in the two thousand teens, many people see the need to work toward curbing human anguish, violence, bullying, not unlike the sentiments of my youth. Because we are technically far ahead of that time and live within a speedway of information submission and retrieval, these issues are much more complicated.

In order to enable human beings to take action in any era, they must be motivated beyond apathy, other driving motivators and the urge to relax and let someone else do it. When it comes to peace, there are lots of organizations that talk about peace.

But what really gets done, and what needs to get done for peace to exist?

BUILDING THE BRIDGE

Most of us would prefer to have peaceful dealings than to have conflict, although I remember Robin Williams’ role as a man in a heaven where there was no fighting, and there was only peace (What Dreams Are Made Of). Some say conflict makes it interesting and saves us from boredom. Those who have experienced war and many others of us would opt for its end.

SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW THAT DOESN’T WORK?

INTELLECTUAL PURSUITS

We have all listened to lectures, read some article, report, paper or book justifying the need for peace. Although these intellectual pursuits are impressive, they are not exciting enough to make us get involved enough to empower a movement. Most of the time, we do not move because most of what we hear and read is dry and does not create that exponentially growing enthusiasm we require to take a committed step.

Although empassioned about their projects, lecturers usually deliver their information without humor, pizazz and charisma. Their material may be brilliant, but it usually doesn’t drive the masses to action. Think of how many seminars you have attended where the material is interesting but nothing happens as a result. It enhances our intellect and makes us feel intelligent but doesn’t stimulate our action gene enough so that we take a step.

AGGRESSION

Aggressive behavior involves fighting, yelling, anger and conflict resolution that usually ends in violence. We, as civilized people, accomplish temporary territorial expansion, human rights as we see them at the time of issue and winning a struggle of will until the next powerful wave of fellow humans decides there is a need for change. Not a great show of modern civilization.

(I am in deep gratitude to our military fighters who protect our children, our way of life, our freedoms. At this time, there is need for such military strength. Will this always be our nature, or can we evolve?

I believe in our ability to build a bridge to peace.

FIRE UNDER OUR BOTTOMS

It’s because of the pizazz in some of us, often celebrities, that the others of us are sparked to take action.

Think of Oprah Winfrey’s asking her followers to pledge a $10 donation texting to a 5 digit code on our cell phones to support orphans in a war zone. We react to this appeal almost on auto pilot to contribute. Why? Because her charisma gets us movin’ and shakin’.

You may remember USA For Africa, a collaboration of many musicians, and their single, first to go multi-platinum, We Are The World, and the subsequent album which raised over $64 million in sales toward African famine in 1985. The musicians were the draw, and they pulled us right along with them: to buy their song, to enjoy the multitude of fine musicians, producers and promoters, to spread the word about saving Africa, to believe in its message.

SO, WHAT CAN WE DO THAT BUILDS THE PEACE BRIDGE, THAT’S MORE PRODUCTIVE AND LEADS US IN THAT HARMONIOUS DIRECTION NOW?

All of us want peace of some sort. But what are we willing to agree upon? All of us are interested in the “what’s in it for me” concept, such as,

“I want to live in a peaceful neighborhood, but I’m not willing to let the homeless live here,”

or

“Why can’t we all get along, but I’m not sharing my land with anyone because I worked hard for it.”

Some of us are leaders; some of us are followers. Some of us get inspired by a single leader, and some of us spread that message, ourselves.

Since we all like to be entertained and we get involved by celebrity messages, let’s continue to use entertainment to make sparks fly. It’s sexy, creative, diverse, instantaneous. We become instantly involved when we hear a song that we like or see art that is beautiful.

THE SECRET

All we need is a system that gives us somewhere to put the enthusiasm created by the entertainment so that we can change ourselves and act in and for peace, a network of accountability.

ACTION STEPS

While we are creating such a system, I see a very definite direction in which to go to put building blocks into the construction of the peace bridge. They are immediate.

1) START COMMUNICATING

Start talking to someone who has grown up in war. When they get inflammatory about their opposing tribe, don’t get inflammatory or judgmental. Work to understand this behavior.

Continue this discussion so that you learn the dynamics of reason in war, first-hand.

2) FIND PERFORMERS THAT FIRE YOU UP

Commit that you make it your goal to pick a performer that fires you up: a musician, a visual artist, an actor, a creator. Pick one who donates to a peace cause. Go to concerts of this performance troupe, either in person or online. Follow the network attached to this performer, and look into the organization that benefits from the donation.

Performers and creators didn’t get there because they aren’t interesting. So, chances are keeping abreast of this 1 person will keep you excited and you will be more likely to keep on this peace path. You might, one day, work side by side with your performer of choice. On the journey, you will be privy to that performers’ art.
__

Special note:

If you find that you are more interested in another cause, we must follow our hearts, so switch to that cause and stick with it.

3) NETWORK

Join a network that is all about getting people together for the purpose of creating new art, new music, new creativity for the sake of upgrading our peace, our resources, our human rights and downgrading our greed and our habits that cause us to be unhealthy.

4) 1 MINUTE A DAY

Commit to connecting with a peace organization, based upon your most pressing goal. Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Peace_organizations and pick one.

5) THE BRIDGE’S FOUNDATION STARTS WITH OUR OWN LIVES

In order to build a peace bridge, we have to work every day to rid ourselves of old ideas, old reactions, our own prejudices. How?

a) 1 time a day, be less controlling, more understanding, a better listener and a more tolerant person.
b) Tell a friend you did this.
c) If you really want to make peace, set up role playing peace talks at the local elementary school or community group. If our young aren’t given the opportunity to work on the process, they will learn our mistaken concepts. If our old don’t give it a whirl, we’ll be stuck.
d) If you really, really want to build the bridge, continue step a) until it becomes part of every day for a year.
e) Together, let’s create some peace cards that urge people to collaborate more than they confront.

CONCLUSION

Peace needs a bridge that we, individually and collectively, can build. Every day, we can choose to back away from our own need for power by submitting to listen to someone; we can build the bridge. When we act well, others see it and may make it part of their culture. When we yield, the more powerful we become. We may even release the anger that causes war.

This is a seemingly impossible task, but it is possible we use a consistent systematic approach on a daily basis, within and in the world. It means we have to give something of ourselves to make it happen. Could be false pride, could be our heart, could be land, which is the most difficult thing of all, it seems.

If we start now, we can build a more peaceful culture into the next generation and those to come. What do you think? Is it worth sacrificing our old ways?

FEEDBACK

Please leave a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She believes we can adjust our hostile ways. She says,

“When we yell at someone and that someone reacts in an understanding, non-angry way; we usually simmer down and become (more) reasonable.

“When we yell at someone and that someone yells back, we usually puff out our peacock feathers and yell twice as loud.

“Of the 2 scenarios, only the first 1 makes peace. Therefore, we, as humans, are half way there, already. We can work on the other half that stays peaceful in the face of adversity.”

THE PEACE PROCESS: PHASE 2 (ISSUE 56)

By Diane Gold

In December 3rd’s article, The Peace Process: A Step-By-Step Formula, we talked about being able to understand conflicting views and really listening to the answers. Action steps were offered which included speaking with the 2 members of opposing geo-politico-religious sides and, by doing so, earning the trust of each.

If you haven’t seen it, go here.

OVERVIEW OF PHASE 2

After conversing with both participants on opposite sides of a brutally large conflict (PHASE 1); we, at least, have a better understanding of the passions and the tensions that run so very deep, including the history that has transpired, the way each side was brought up to think about the other, the atrocities incurred from the eyes of either side.

We may even think, as I originally did before I started having these discussions, the process might be simple, if only we would begin.  Very difficult if each sees the actions of the other as breaking the covenants of the rules of leading a reverent and noble life.

So Phase 2 has to be about creating a discussion between a neutral person and 2 participants on the same side, with 1 of those agreeing to role play a member of the opposite side: Phase 2 of the Peace Process Formula.

There’s no rush to get to this phase, and the initial discussion must take as long as it takes for trust to develop between the original participant and the neutral party. And, then again, the trust may not be 100% because we, the neutral parties, are outsiders in the eyes of the participants whose lives have been engulfed in the conflict. And it is common to hear,

“You cannot understand. You are not from there.”

Thomas L.  Friedman, former Jerusalem Bureau Chief of The New York Times and Pulitzer Prize winner, puts it this way in his Op-Ed column on December 8,

“…there is an unspoken question in the mind of virtually every [person who lives in a conflicted country] that you need to answer correctly: ‘Do you understand what neighborhood I’m living in?’ If [these country women and men] smell that you don’t, their ears will close to you.”

THE PEACE PROCESS FORMULA builds trust in the participants and the process.
I believe it is possible to help people achieve their goal of a peaceful community – even if we, the helpers, have limited knowledge of the others’ neighborhood or situation. This fact doesn’t dismiss how important the others’ situation is. It just bases its method upon our common human nature and not on our common neighborhood.

The Peace Process Formula goes for any goal. There is only 1 requirement: believe in people who honor unique situations with complicated agendas, but who believe we are similar to a precision with simple needs. It is this sameness of our humanity that allows us to supersede the objections that “we cannot be helped by strangers who do not know the neighborhood” so that this process can, inevitably, resolve conflict.  Trust and sincerity are the keys.

MOVING TOWARD OUR OBJECTIVE

If a method, program or an infrastructure is created for people to progress forward in their lives; anyone can use it with the same success.

It is not necessary for the moderator (the neutral person in this process) to have been in the struggle personally.

It is necessary for each side of a conflict to trust the moderator, mediator, arbitrator, counselor.
Often times, because the participant sees the neutral 3rd party, the moderator as “not being 1 of us,” trust is not established and the patience required to work the process is not cultivated.
For conflict resolution to occur, the Peace Process Formula must not be rushed. And each step must be followed sequentially.

PREREQUISITE KNOWLEDGE

Tensions that make geo-politico-religious conflict have taken years to develop.
These conflicts require delicate work since everyone on both sides has been offended many times.

In order to achieve peace, judgment on the part of the moderator is not part of the process. Listening and resolving are.

Trust must be acquired between the moderator and each person in the process.

PHASE 2 ROLE PLAY – THE RULES

1) 2 participants who take the same side who are willing to answer questions about the conflict in their country must be found. They should both be on the same side of a geo-politico-religious conflict.

2) 1 of the participants must be willing to play the role of the opposing view for this phase of the process.

3) Since the process will be extremely difficult, it must be established that there will be no voice raising and no disrespectful language and that a break from the discussion can be requested by asking the moderator if s/he can disengage the discussion.

4) Next, congratulate your participants for coming to the table in the first place.

ACTION STEPS

1) Participants will be asked to pretend to be a Leader for World Peace and peace for her (his) respective geographic area. This means each participant must consider the lives of everyone involved. 1 participant will be the leader for her (his) usual side. 1 participant will be a leader for her (his) usually opposing side.

2) With peace in mind, participants shall be asked to make a list of 10 changes they would like to occur to achieve that.

3) Participants shall be asked to prioritize the 10 changes.

4) Participants shall be asked to eliminate the least important 5 changes.

5) Participants will be asked to alter each change and break it down to a smaller version of itself. Make sure to do this for all 5 changes.

Here are examples:

If the 5th change on the list were to raise the community flag in a particular location every day, you might be able to change that to raising the flag 1 day a week instead to begin.

If the 5th change on the list were to acquire 5 miles of land, you might be able to change this to 1 mile of land instead.

6) The moderator will have each participant read from the top of the list: first 1 person reads change 1. Then the other person reads her (his) change 1.

7) This continues, alternating, 1, then the other, until the entire list is read.

8)  A copy of each list will be given to each participant.

9) Each participant will be given no more than 15 minutes to comment next to each item. Of course, extra time (up to 30 minutes) can be given.

10) After each participant is finished, the moderator shall collect the lists.

11) The moderator will go over rule number 3 to temper speech and words.

12) The moderator will read the responses to the items on the list out loud and ask for 5 minutes of comment on each. The replies will be timed.

13) The moderator will thank both participants and ask if they would be willing to come back again after giving the ideas some thought or some research.

CONCLUSION

The Peace Process Formula has been developed to make small changes in a safe environment. It is easy to blow up and stop the process, as world peace issues show us every day. This method has been devised, in part, to create understanding of issues of conflict for outsiders, but mostly, to start to grow roots of peace that can lead to lasting peace.

Phase 3 of the Formula will be published soon. It is powerful and hopeful and on time.
If you would like to become involved in this process, as a participant or as a moderator, please let us know or leave a comment below. Becoming involved in this process can replace many less meaningful activities, including making poor food choices. It can also build the pride and joy that comes along with being involved in something bigger than ourselves.

FEEDBACK

Please leave  a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert and a dedicated mom.
She is thrilled with The Peace Process Formula. She says,

“Small changes on a regular basis add up to medium changes and then large changes. Those of us whose duty it is to help, let’s do this. Those of us who would like to observe, we welcome it.

“Did you ever notice how there have been times when we are not correct about an outcome. It is my hope that the adversaries and the friends who use this process will grow from it, and, if so, grow the method of the process of peace that can contribute greatly to all our lives.”

PEACE AND PREJUDICE: HOW THE KEY TO PEACE IS THE SAME AS THE KEY TO WEIGHT LOSS (Issue 31)

By Diane Gold

Peace among humans stems from sameness, not difference. When we are peaceful, things are harmonious. When we are prejudiced, there is unrest, internal to us and external within our world.

We all breathe the same air, have the same powerful epidermis to protect us (we share this with plants), respirate similarly, replenish regularly, get inhabited by viruses constantly (we share this one with plants and bacteria), are all subject to the perils of weather and do well when we honor ourselves.

BELIEF IN OURSELVES

So, with all these major similarities, what are our differences, other than melanin levels, pride in roots, levels of security, money and intelligence? It’s BELIEF IN OURSELVES, the level at which we LOVE ONE ANOTHER, tolerate, nurture, sanction, recognize and respect one another AND OURSELVES, the level at which we give our neighbor the same courtesy as our family, the same respect we should be giving to ourselves and our fellow humans.

So what is the key to this tolerance that is the same for losing weight, gaining weight, stopping our urges, removing our prejudice? And how do we get it?
Those of us whose urges take us to eat too much, drink too much, use or do too much lack a certain security in and love for ourselves. These urges drive our chemicals inside to run in ways we have not yet grasped. Happily, we can learn to understand them and work with them and adjust them.

The same urge chemistry occurs in our body when we cannot tolerate someone else’s beliefs or any of the traits listed three paragraphs below. This chemical imbalance strips us of our ability to be socially acceptable; and we bash, malign, plunder someone else’s appearance or belief. This is social prejudice.

If my family teaches me to believe in the golden calf, your family teaches you to believe in the family religion and our neighbor’s family teaches their daughter to believe that she is the master and controls her own life; these three different beliefs exist. We can learn tolerance if it is doesn’t come naturally by remembering that each of us breathes the same air, eats the same food and gives birth the same way. How much we remember our sameness determines whether we have social prejudice or peace.

Similarly, the more we develop the ability to control our urges, such as eating chocolate, drinking soda or maligning a religion; the more we can exercise tolerance of ourselves and others.

So what can we do to raise THE LOVE LEVEL (which comes from BELIEF IN OURSELVES) and give ourselves the love that we deserve that will help curb our urges? What will help our health, our ability to feel good, and help us love our bodies and minds, know that we are assets to the world, know that weight, skin color, style, thoughts, feelings, hairstyle, differences, size, lifestyle, height, preference, orientation, age, race, religion, politics, color, nationality, wealth, language, beliefs, birthplace, traditions, economics do not define whether we are kind, fun, funny, loyal, honest, devoted, confident, uplifting, empathetic, charitable, attentive, considerate, dependable, generous, motivating, patient, perceptive, thoughtful, tolerant, understanding, warm and caring?

And what can we do to remove social prejudices when they appear?

SEEING OUR HOMOGENEITY, THE BIG ACTION STEP

The BIG ACTION STEP, should we choose to take it, is that we must look at our homogeneity. We must celebrate our sameness and be enlightened by it.

What if we used it to further our belief system and strengthen our tolerance?
What if we used it to help us be strong individually?

We are all a part of a body of humans and, I believe, can find a way to peace.

Whether we are too slim, too large or just right; we all enjoy the security of shelter, clothing that makes us feel beautiful, friends and family who really care for us; and we all love our own individual hobby, creative passion and cause.

If I could animate, I would draw a giant globe with people in every country representing all of us. Every time any one of us executed a prejudicial act, even if against ourselves; one of the cutout figures would collapse, only to be regenerated by a positive act, such as generosity or forgiveness. If we saw this visual representation on an ongoing basis, which measured our love and hate, we might more easily cherish, forgive and love each other.

Most of us don’t think that feeling bad about ourselves or treating ourselves badly is a negative act. It is, though, an act of social prejudice against ourselves, when we judge ourselves in comparison to runway models if we are not, or in comparison to the lifestyle of the latest female self-made billionaire if we are not.

We say what we feel for ourselves doesn’t affect others, but this is not the truth. Aside from the fact that we are all in this world together, everyone we contact is affected by our good or bad attitude. So how do we mend a bad attitude or social prejudice?

FORGIVENESS, THE NEXT ACTION STEP

1)    Forgiving ourselves for whatever we think is wrong with us
2)    Forgiving what we did wrong
3)    Forgiving someone for having a different trait or belief
4)    Forgiving someone for a bad act
5)    Forgiving ourselves for being prejudiced against someone

are very hard to do, but great steps to take.

I can think of the many times I have said,

“I forgive him,”

in my head. I have also said,

“I forgive you,”

in person, to someone in my life who did not treat me well. The words have not created absolute forgiveness in me, but it is a work in progress. It is easy for me to forgive myself for the feelings of resentment I still have, but it is hard to forgive with full sincerity.

It is almost unfathomable for me to think how hard it would be to forgive someone who had physically harmed a family member. But, that is how hard peace is.

Over 90% of the people in the United States have a belief system with one deity. It could be as much as 92%. We also believe that this deity does not make mistakes. So, if we are in this category; we know that our lives are not mistakes, so we must forgive ourselves and celebrate our individual situations.

Less than 10% of the population in the United States is firmly rooted in the fact that we are strong, self-sufficient individuals who are part of the balance or order of nature that does not include a deity. This group could be smaller than 8%. (This group often does not list its participants because of the prejudice against it, so statistics are hard to confirm.) If we are in this group, we know we are good and worthwhile by the principles by which we live. Therefore we must forgive ourselves and celebrate our individual situations.

CONCLUSION

Those of us who are tolerant of our similarities must remind those who are not. It is difficult to bring these subjects to the attention of others because feelings run so strongly in each direction.

Prejudice of any kind is prejudice.  Some people frown upon people who eat a lot. Others think they are queens.  As we grow our spiritual library, we come to terms with how we see ourselves and how we see our sameness. Often times, unless we are experiencing the strife and misery that comes from prejudice, we find it hard to relate to it.

Here’s an example:

If I have grown up an extra, extra love size my whole life, I know what it’s like to be teased about my weight. I am so busy feeling bad about being teased that I do not realize that the teaser’s insecurity is causing the intolerant behavior.

I am grown up, I open a company, have 50 employees. No one has teased me in a long time. One of the people who has been hired has a twitch, which I continually joke about with the other workers. I only consider myself and never consider that the person with the twitch is always in earshot when I tease. She feels pain when I tell my jokes. Why am I doing the same behavior that people did to me? Don’t I remember how it feels? What feeling prompts this intolerance and insecurity on my part?

It’s all about BELIEF IN MYSELF. Poking fun at the twitcher buries the pain I felt when I was teased. It also makes me feel powerful now when people gather ’round and laugh at my jokes. What I don’t consider is that the employees may be gathering around and laughing because they feel sorry for my power tripping from pain. Others may be getting comic relief from someone else’s pain, also a common, but not admirable, human trait. Finally, most of the group is gathering because I am the boss, and it would be impolite not to gather.

SMALL BUT IMPORTANT ACTION STEPS

Here are some small daily action steps to go along with the SEEING HOMOGENEITY and FORGIVENESS, above. When we familiarize our mind to kindness, we become kind. On the other side, when we fuel our intolerance, our prejudice (toward ourselves and others) grows.

1)    Upon awakening every day, take 10 seconds to acknowledge that we are as wonderful as our heroes, our love interest, the person we most want to emulate and our role model. This builds self-confidence in a subtle but constant way.

2)    After the first 10 second exercise, take 10 seconds to acknowledge that there are no mistakes in the natural order of things. Therefore, we are exactly who we are supposed to be. This will build strength that we are a firm part of the world plan.

3)    As we are sitting up from our sleeping position, take 10 seconds to realize our good fortune, such as having the use of our limbs, having the use of our senses, having whatever we do have. Each of us will cherish something else, but this gratitude is important to experience. Gratitude brings humility which brings understanding and peace.

4)    Sometime during the week, even if it’s only once:
a.    Tell a joke to someone sad
b.    Give a homeless person a book
c.    Go to http://theanimalrescuesite.com and click a button to give a free bowl of food to an animal. (There are many sister sites here for other causes of your choice.)

The secret behind this action is that, as we are clicking our support for some outside cause, we are curbing our appetite for that very moment and making a difference to someone else. This type of action leads us to develop our character and become stronger to reach our goal in the food department. Both curbing our urge and building our character lead to the likelihood of our being a tolerant member of society.

5)    Once a day, we should look in the mirror at our lips smiling and know that we have just seen a very worthy human being.
Awareness of Homogeneity + Forgiveness = Urge Control + Peace, Inside and Out.

FEEDBACK

Please leave your comments below. We truly value all of them.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Moms For Healthy Daughters, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert and a dedicated mom. She is excited about discovering that the key to peace resembles the key to urge mechanics. She says,

“The key is examining ourselves. When we are willing to look at our urges, we can see our true selves in the mirror. With time, we can mold ourselves to be more in the direction that we wish. It may not be easy, and it will take time. In a lifetime journey, there can be no rush.”