THE PEACE PROCESS FORMULA: PHASE 3 (ISSUE 74)

By Diane Gold

The Peace Process Formula is an evolving series of steps that gently create dialogue and resolution of a peace conflict based on our sameness and not our differences. This is Phase 3.

The Peace Process Formula: A Step By Step Guide, was published on December 3, 2012. The process involved a moderator’s talking to 1 person who had experienced geopolitical conflict and really listening to what that person had to say.

The Peace Process Formula: Phase 2, from December 10, 2012, outlined role playing action steps involving a moderator and 2 people from the same conflict role playing leadership roles. They each would have individually been through Phase 1 of the process, where each talked about her (his) experience.

After seeing the documentary, The Two-Sided Story, a peace process story about bringing together bereaved family members from both sides of an age-old conflict; I am convinced, more than ever, that The Peace Process becomes solid when people talk to each other and get to see their humanity in each other. When I watched this movie, it was as if I were seeing this process in a film that I had directed.

The poster for the process at The Parents Circle-Families Forum says,

“It Won’t Stop Until We Talk.”

This seems simple enough, but, as we know, it is not.

Nelson Mandela said,

“…courageous people do not fear forgiving, for the sake of peace.”

This simple quote points to the importance of stepping off our path of revenge for the greater good.

The fact that my family was blown up by your family is a big deterrent in the peace process. My blowing up your family to stop you from future action is another action that stops peace. The heart does not forget, even when we show forgiveness on the outside. So, what are we to do?

What if we tell another bereaved person how we feel? It will be extremely difficult, at first, because we do not want to be in the same room as our opposite bereaved tribe member. If we make the choice to do it, we may see that our feeling of pain and loss is very much the same as that of our fellow bereaved on the other side and that continuing violence upon violence to revenge violence upon violence perpetuates violence upon violence and doesn’t help our loved ones or our children. The big picture shows that both sides of the conflict, whichever one it is, have suffered tremendous losses. History shows that killing begets killing and more sorrow; listening begets understanding and the possibility of peaceful co-existence.

To outline the steps in The Two-Sided Story, participants go through a process:

1) Bereaved people from opposing sides of a conflict share their story, 1 at a time, with the whole group. (Image depicts a generic group.)

2) They continue listening by separating into pairs of opposite tribes and share their story with the opposite tribe member who is sitting next to them.

3) They role play by getting back into the group and speaking as if they are their counterpart, describing what the counterpart has said about life and situation.

4) They become empathetic by talking about how they feel as if they are their counterpart.

5) They notice they are beginning to understanding their partner is not a monster, even if just a little.

This 5-step process, shown in Two-Sided Story, produced by Yoav Leshem, directed by Tor Ben Mayor, created through The Parent’s Circle-Families Forum, resulted in emotional healing, human understanding, personal friendships and a wonderful peace model for others to follow that has begun to be successful.

CATHARSIS

Since The Peace Process Formula is a fluid, open process; we are open to evolve the more we understand and experience. With this said, Phase 3 of the process focuses on sharing the individual perspective. 2 people from opposing tribes will get together with a moderator. To follow is the rationale.

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WORLD TAI CHI DAY IS A WEEK FROM SATURDAY

World Tai Chi and Chi Kung Day is coming up on April 27, Saturday, at 10:00 am. There are events all over the world. It’s free and fun, for beginners or experienced people. If you are in Boca Raton, I’m coordinating the event at Sanborn Square, my 14th year in Boca. I would be honored to have you attend. Spread the word! If you’re not going to be local, I will look for an event near your location if you contact us.

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RATIONALE

We know that “what’s in it for me” is always an easy way to get people to listen. If we could bring back the life of a loved one lost in war, we would immediately pay attention. Unfortunately, we cannot. If we could erase the hatred our neighbor has for us, we would.

What we can do is save ourselves from resentment, vengeful thoughts, anger and more violence. The steps to do this are not so flashy or fancy; but, when we receive some personal benefit from an action step, we are more likely to get involved rather than if we hear an abstract rationale whose benefit will help the world.

The pow-wow of 3, the moderator and 2 individuals from opposing tribes shall be planned. If 2 opposite tribe members are not present, the moderator can take on the role of the member of the opposite tribe who is not actually present.

ACTION STEPS

1) The moderator serves tea and talks about the tea ritual for 5 minutes.

2) As in Phase 1, the moderator will allow 5-15 minutes for each person to speak about her/his experience. The difference here is that each person would have to give full attention to someone from the opposite side’s story.

REITERATE THE RULES

No verbal or body language blame, no cursing or other violent language, no abusive physical contact.

3) The moderator asks each participant to speak about her (his) story.

4) After both people have spoken, the moderator asks:

a) How is your pain different from her (his) pain?

b) Did talking help you get closer to understanding the person next to you?

5) Tea is served.

6) Moderator thanks both participants for their time.

CONCLUSION

The people who agree to participate in this process are, at least, curious about some sort of peaceful settlement. They may still hold blame for the hardships they have endured, but they have some curiosity about what a peace process might look like.
In sharing our stories, we face our pain; we become less alone with the burden of pain and suffering; the perceptions we have about the wrongs that have happened come out in the open. Sometimes, this allows us to have a cathartic experience that heals us; may find others who feel the same torment, or we may find others who have a completely different burden; we may be helped, or we may help.

Here is a quote from Robi, a member of the Bereaved Families Forum in the above-cited movie, whose peace-loving son, David, was killed by a sniper. Robi is a devoted mother who believes that revenge does not belong in the peace process. It sums up a great possibility,

“I believe removing the stigma from each side and getting to know the person on the other side allows for a removal of fear, and a way to understand that a long-term reconciliation process is possible.”

FEEDBACK

Please leave a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She has seen the way people learn tolerance through communication. This is the same process used in academic debates, brainstorming groups and personal growth sessions. She says,

“A systematic approach can create new trust, once we establish the best way to send a gentle breeze to our opposite tribe. It’s all about taking 1 step.

“It’s extremely difficult for most people to let go of their ideas. Most of us “know” we are right and are not interested in changing. In some cultures, heads of families abuse their family group should the family question the head’s authority. This type of rigid behavior often maintains the wall of war.

“I see progress with the peace process. And the latest generations are multicultural. They far surpass the “flower child” generation whose slogan was “make love, not war” because of the global network in which they have grown up.

“The peace issue” is engrained in Millenials, or so it seems. That’s why we live in a great climate for The Peace Process Formula to spread, one group at a time until it catches on worldwide.”

THE PEACE PROCESS FORMULA: PHASE 3, CATHARSIS

WILL BE COMING ON MONDAY, APRIL 15, 2013.

In the meantime, you might like to review:

The Peace Process Formula: A Step-By-Step Guide HERE.

and

The Peace Process Formula: Phase 2 HERE.

BEFORE OUR MAIN ESSAY, A WORLD TAI CHI DAY ANNOUNCEMENT

World Tai Chi and Chi Kung Day is coming up on April 27, Saturday, at 10:00 am. There are events all over the world. It’s free and fun, for beginners or experienced people. If you are in Boca Raton, I’m coordinating the event at Sanborn Square, my 14th year in Boca. I would be honored to have you attend. Spread the word! If you’re not going to be local, I will look for an event near your location if you contact me.

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WOMEN AS SLAVES: HOW TO CHANGE THIS HABIT (ISSUE 73)

By Diane Gold

The perpetual work that women who are slaves perform is a habit.
As with anything else, we know that anything can be a habit. Habits are formed by repetitive behavior leading to some reward. So, what’s rewarding about abusing human rights? How can men morally write down stories on which religions are based that condone stoning women, placing women in a cattle-like position of being bought and sold, using women as slaves by the husband and using a god as the excuse for the actions?

Our own President Jimmy Carter’s article Losing My Religion For Equality mentions,
” Women and girls have been discriminated against for too long in a twisted interpretation of the word of God.”

HOW IT BEGAN

Here is how it started, as far as we know; and it is also why it continues. It is exactly related to why we have habits that stay with us unless we choose and then change them.

People who have control like to keep it.

Whether it is the news media, the banking systems or the political system in any country; these machines will advertise (using the news companies which they own) to support their agendas, whether this advertising is by way of print media in 2013 or through concepts taught in school, such as: men are more worthy than women or women are evil. This control premise also applies to the single farm girl who has 1 acre of land to farm and wants to fight to keep it in her possession. We all want to possess something, even if it means stepping on someone else to get it. This human truth is how it started.

Now, I don’t believe that blame is something helpful, but I do believe that, because women have accepted the position of inferiority, they have perpetuated a myth that carries on to this day. I also believe that, if women who are oppressed fight for their own equality (I am not speaking of the gentle oppressions where women make less money, have more domestic responsibilities, get worse jobs, but of stark, horrific oppression such as domestic slavery, sex slavery, trafficking, second class citizenship that exist in many nations), the fight would cause as many female deaths as in any civil war to date.

Women make less money, in general. Women have fewer civil rights in many constitutions. They are treated as second-class citizens under some laws.

Women accept being second class citizens out of habit or out of fear of being stoned, murdered, mutilated or disfigured should they be discovered at working on changing their working condition.

BORN INTO PROSTITUTION

There are women who are born into prostitution. In certain sections of the world, 3 generations of women can be found to be prostitutes. In the red light district of Kolkata (formerly spelled Calcutta), a prevalent family business is this: the mother is a prostitute as is her mother. The father waits for the female children of his wife to become 10 years old (or worse, 7 years old) so that he can turn them out into prostitution so that the family can eat and live.

When asked to leave the life, many child prostitutes say they don’t want to leave. This is their heritage, and they would be afraid to do anything else and leave the protection of the mother, father, aunty managing their prostitution.

According to a 2010 interview by the United Nations Office On Drugs And Crime, a 16-year-old sex worker in Sonagachi, Kolkata, India said,

“Ma [the madame] will never let me go, and … this is my home … I am here of my own free will. Even if I leave this place, where will I go? The society will always label me as a prostitute. I am scared wherever I will be employed, the men will rape me. Even if I marry a prince tomorrow and wear expensive saris … and sit in a big car; people will still think I am a prostitute. I cannot change that. I wanted to become a nurse and take care of people. I have a secret lover … and we are planning to marry. I will make sure my daughter is never born into a brothel, is educated and lives her dream.”

PUBLISHER’S NOTE

According to a verified BBC News report from 2001; prostitution, itself, is not illegal in India. According to a completely unverified source listed on Wikipedia; solicitation, brothels, trafficking are illegal in India as is working within 200 feet of a public place. Unverified map of legality of prostitution is here:
http:/warriorsofweight.com/images/prostitutionmap.jpg

Accepting the thinking that it’s OK to putting children into prostitution for money is a bad habit. It is also a way of thinking and acting that has been accepted in current and past society as normal.

If we do a behavior once, it is new, unfamiliar, easy never to do again. If we do something twice, it is easier to do it again. If we do it for a week, we start getting into a groove of familiarity, and we are on our way to making it a habit which solidifies in another week or two.

There are 3 habits at play. One is that the parent often the father) sends the female child out to sell sex. The second habit is the child does it thinking its normal. The third is that the act on the parent’s part is repeated over and over again as normal behavior.

With regard to nurturing children, people in every country think about how to give children the most opportunity for growth, education, socialization, creativity. In the United States, we protect our children until they have reached 18 years old, for the most part.  We protect them from harm and abuse from families whose financial need or choice to teach work ethic responsibility might put their children to work at the expense of their education, childhood or health.

The U. S. Department of Labor’s Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938 (amended last on April 5, 2011) lists jobs that are considered hazardous for minors (under 18). Prostitution is not on the list because it is not legal. Even if it were, it is not a profession that many groups of parents would consider the choice profession to teach children. Other conditions that are “detrimental to their health and well-being” have various FLSA restrictions to see that kids go to school and are not overworked.

Internationally, people protect their children. Parenting refers to care, love, guidance. However, financial hardship changes what we do, what we will do and, as a result, how we end up. This is universal. Not all governments protect children or enforce laws that are on the books, especially when bribery is rampant.

WOMEN AS SLAVES

In certain cultures, women are forced into being one of many wives, forced into being consorts, forced into the life of a sex slave, a baby machine or a maid. This is partly the fault of women who accept this. But their alternative would be death, ostracism or, at least, fear of death and disfigurement.

The families of some girls who sell them into bondage are making a hard choice in
order to feed their other children. This decision, though ghastly, must be the hardest one in a lifetime, but is the only alternative to starvation in the eyes of the family who commits a daughter into this life, similar to killing daughters in China before 1979 for the good of the state.

WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT THESE SITUATIONS?

1) EDUCATE BY CONNECTING

Talk is cheap, and having lengthy discussions about how terrible these situations are does little. It boils down to changing a habit, as I see it.

Introducing young girls to associations of women who want to escape or have escaped prostitution, slavery, mutilation and the like opens their minds to new options. Instead of the habit of obeying the parent or aunty who demands the child go into prostitution, the child who has been exposed to alternatives is more able to take the first step toward changing the habit of submission and changing the thinking for the future.

One such association is Apne Aap, founded by Ruchira Gupta, a former UN worker whose film The Selling Of Innocents won an Emmy in 1997, and 22 women working as prostitutes in Mumbai’s red light district. Their message was to highlight the link between trafficking and prostitution laws, believing that changing the laws would change the reality.

Although all the founding 22 women from Mumbai are dead due to suicide, AIDS and hunger; this inspirational group still reaches 15,000 women as a safe house and education center to help women get out of the trapped life and to institute enough influence to outlaw prostitution as a crime of exploitation.

2) WRITE ABOUT THE ISSUE

Although journaling helps one to stay balanced and sane, it does not get the word out. Taking one’s safety into account, there are media sources that publish stories of inequality. The more people write, the more they will heal themselves and the more they may have their story published. There is danger in going public with one’s real name, so a pseudonym may minimize the risk, depending upon where one lives.

3) SPREAD THE WORD

Join a group that works to eliminate abuse of power against women. Decide to offer your time to get the word out to those women who are unaware they have options. Your time spent can change the habits of many women who don’t know any better, are complacent with an abusive type of life, who are waiting for encouragement to take their first steps.

4) RESEARCH ABUSE IN RELIGIOUS LITERATURE

Take a good look at the books we use as daily reference. Rewrite some of the archaic interpretations of our religious and social doctrines to fit the modern time citing women as equal to men. Or, at least, consider how they got there.

5) SEE A DOCUMENTARY ON ABUSE OF WOMEN

At this time in history, there are so many films available about violation of human rights. Go check one out. If you are so inclined, offer to have your own screening with 4 others in your home.

CONCLUSION

It is time we worked on changing the concept and reality of women as slaves. It is time we all became better human beings. It’s crucial to engage in conversations. It is also important to consistently talk about abuse of women in literature and in every country in the world.

These customs and habits have taken a long time to evolve. We can work for change by following the action steps. By not abandoning the women in terrible circumstances, we take small steps toward the goal of stopping the abuse.

FEEDBACK

Please leave  a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She considers abuse against people a shortcoming in the human spirit. Why would we think it right to be hurtful. She says,

“If we are taught that God said we are supposed to abuse women, we are being fed convincing evidence to justify second class status and abuse. We, as thinking beings, need to consider the flaws in such terminology that ostracizes anyone. We are all equal.

“If we are taught that it’s OK to abuse someone, we need to do our own research and come to a different conclusion.”

WHAT MARTIAL ART IMPROVES BALANCE, GETS RID OF STRESS, FEELS LIKE DANCING AND HELPS CHANGE A HABIT? (ISSUE 72)

By Diane Gold

Okay, you knew. It’s tai chi, the system of movement that looks like rolling liquid that never stops. It teaches personal protection and awareness, creates relaxation of both mind and body (yeah, spirit, too, but there are too many discussions and interpretations on that subject that we won’t mention again in this piece), improves health, feels good and looks good.

In order to talk about how tai chi helps change a habit, let’s define the different aspects of the training, similar to what happens when someone joins the United State Military Service or a dance troupe.

According to Staff Seargent Curtis Osburn, USMC, San Diego,

“…from the minute recruits get off the bus, they are guided through physical challenges, mental challenges and moral challenges.”

So far, this sounds like any martial art. We get strong  of mind, body and moral fiber by going through the physical demands of the movement system. The physical regime prepares us to be flexible of mind as well as body.

According to New England Journal Medicine, Feb. 9, 2012, tai chi helped Parkinson’s patients with balance more than stretching and weight training.

But tai chi has other functions. There is scientific evidence that tai chi also improves flexibility, focus, respiration, muscle response, memory, mental attitude.

To the tai chi player (as the rest of the world says it), it feels similar to dancing or swimming because each movement is connected to the previous. I like to call it “air surfing.”

So, how can this change a habit?

Okay, remember that we build habits by receiving some signal (THE CUE) which leads us to do the same BEHAVIOR over and over to receive a REWARD. We eat 3 pieces of pie so we can say,

        “Yum.”

We take chemical or recreational risks because we like “the instant stimulation or rush” or because someone prescribed it. Sometimes we get stuck repeating the behaviors over and over again in a habit.

Where it used to be unusual for us to eat 3 pieces of cake, now it is normal to do so and seemingly impossible to stop. We crave it regularly.

Where it used to be occasional to drink champagne at New Year’s Eve, now it is normal to skip dinner and drink alcohol. It is seemingly impossible to stop. We crave it regularly.
The once exceptional event has become the standard way to act. Those brave souls among us who want to change a habit to support their lives in the best way possible want to reverse the process.

Tai chi can help. Here’s how.

In order to learn tai chi, we have to concentrate on the actual movement we are doing. We do the same movement over and over again until it becomes familiar to us. Sounds a little like a habit, right? It is different from jumping rope, doing a dance routine, going to the gym because every time we do it, it is different. Tai chi movement involves every single part of the body. And we are different of mind and body every day. That is why it is different. As with any martial art, the movement is a tool for training and changing the mind. However, the physical way we execute the motion is related to our mood at the moment, what we choose to express, how relaxed our body is and whether we are working on warding off a potential attacker. These factors affect the movement and make it unique in the world of movement arts.

The fact that tai chi involves mind, body and the way we live our lives, but all we have to do is watch our moving hand or foot to grasp our own attention is the very reason it can help change a habit. When we get the CUE, that urge, craving, onset of desire to behave habitually, we can

CHOOSE ANOTHER BEHAVIOR!

We just have to plan it!

I’m being a bit dramatic here because this statement is all we have to do, even though thinking about it may make it seem impossible. Of course, it may not be easy or we would have done it already. But it’s doable. I’m living proof many times over.

TAI CHI AS IT APPLIES TO CHANGE OF HABIT

Here’s where tai chi comes into play. And these are the sequential steps that allow us to change a habit using tai chi:

1) Tai chi teaches us to take our time with movement because understanding the movement takes time.

2) In order for us to be successful at tai chi, we learn patience.

3) This patience with learning tai chi, a martial arts system, translates to patience in our lives and more control over what we do, including our impulses and the cravings that appear out of nowhere and demand some type of behavior.

4) This control translates into having the strength to do a new behavior, different from the old one, that also creates some type of reward.

At the beginning, meaning for 3 to 4 weeks, if possible; it’s a good idea not to look at the new reward or evaluate it or compare it to the old reward. We have to remember it took lots of repetition to learn the old behavior, so give the new behavior some time to become beneficial to our lives before deciding to judge it. Otherwise the mind will play the old trick that the new behavior doesn’t work for us (which is. most of the time, a self-con so that we can go back to our old behavior).

Just like with tai chi, the reward of a new behavior takes time to learn, time to appreciate, time before it becomes a habit.

PRACTICAL ACTION STEPS TO CHANGE A HABIT

So once we have decided that we have a habit that is not supporting our life, here are some simple suggestions to start moving toward success:

1) WRITE IT DOWN!

When you are not craving, urging, desiring your old behavior – which may only be for a quick minute at a time – get out a pen and paper and write down what new behavior you will do instead of the old one. This way, you are contracting with yourself.

2) GO TO THE MIRROR

Go to the mirror and tell yourself that, when you get your next cue, you will do your new behavior.

3) BE PHYSICAL

Consider doing something physically exerting for your new behavior, like walking around the closest building or house, so that using your physical body has a chance at calming down your urges through the release of new hormones or neurotransmitters that feel good to the body. to   so that It should be physical and in a different location from the one where you do the old behavior.

4) CHANGE LOCATIONS

Make sure that you go in the opposite direction from the place where you did your old behavior. Sometimes if you travel away from the source, you will be too lazy to go toward it, or, by the time you get part way toward the location of the old behavior, your urge will be gone.

PUBLISHER’S NOTE:

It’s simple distractions such as these that keep us focused on our new behaviors.

5) CALL SOMEONE

Find a friend, a stranger or an association where you can call and tell someone you are traveling away from the source, or you are walking around the building. You are more likely to talk yourself down (talk yourself out of falling back into the old behavior) if you have a supporter.

PUBLISHER’S NOTE:

If you don’t know who to call, call 211, option 3, to talk to someone. As of February, 2013, this free service is available in 50 states (39 of them with 100% coverage) and Washington, D.C. and Puerto Rico (100% coverage).

CONCLUSION

Tai chi is a beautiful system of movement that makes our minds more flexible to succeed at our goals. That’s why it is so helpful when we want to change a habit. It’s also another alternative we can choose instead of our old behavior. We can write about it, do it in a mirror, it’s physical, we can do it far away from our old behavior location, and we can call someone else who does tai chi.

It’s a great preparer for life’s changes. We become rooted physically from the actual movement we learn as our legs gain strength. We begin to see a glimmer of understanding about why it’s called an art – because each of us creates our way of doing it. Our will power grows and can support us when we change a habit.

PUBLISHER’S DEDICATION

This article is dedicated to the art of tai chi and what it does for those who do it. It’s also a good place to announce WORLD TAI CHI AND CHI KUNG DAY, April 27, 2013, a free event where close to one million people all over the world do tai chi and chi kung in public events starting at 10 am local time in the first time zone and continue in most time zones across the globe to create a wave of peace and harmony.

As the organizer of the Boca Raton event, we welcome you to participate. It’s the 14th year for Boca. We’ll be in Sanborn Square, Boca Raton, Florida 33432 to celebrate. Details here: https://www.facebook.com/events/148699685298664.

If you are not local to Boca Raton (which most of you are not), we may be able to help you find an event in your city. Bottom line, If it sounds good, put it on the calendar. It’s free and fun. If you can’t make it, think tai chi at 10 am on April 27, 2013.

FEEDBACK

Please leave  a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She has seen how tai chi helps change a habit. She has watched people balance their weight, their emotional state, their physical habit of falling, their appetite. She says,

“Tai chi gives us a foundation, a root, like the root of a tree. When we have this infrastructure, we can require of ourselves new behavior by using tai chi principle. While doing tai chi, we do tai chi. We don’t think of shopping, finances, family feuds. In this same way, when we get our cue which used to cause the old behavior, we can do the new behavior by not thinking about it. We will just do it. That’s how we do tai chi: we just do it.If we are thinking about it, we’re not doing it. So we don’t think about it when we’re doing it.

“Similar to the scientist who can apply the scientific theory anywhere in the universe, the tai chi principle of “just doing it,” with no thought or mind deliberation, can be applied to changing a habit or any situation in life.”

MARTIAL ARTS OF THE MIND (ISSUE 71)

By Diane Gold

Martial arts are a group of disciples known throughout the world as the art of war. This article will mention 1 such discipline specifically, kung fu, which is the term that has been associated with Chinese martial arts, but the article’s focus is generic. It is about using the method that is used to train the body to train the mind. This is martial arts of the mind.

What many outsiders (meaning people who are not practitioners or people who learn bastardized versions that are one-sided fighting technique) do not consider is that this “art” very much includes discipline of the mind and spirit. An example of this would be that we learn that quickest is not always best. Of course, when someone is looking to hurt us and we can outrun the aggressor or execute a physical technique more swiftly, this is good and to our betterment. But the physical aspect is secondary, even though we spend hours training the body. It is to train the mind and spirit, for the most part.

Because of this training, we have the ability to consider taking the longer path if it is more strategic to get where we are going because we know patience, the first lesson in any martial art. We learn to take time out to consider, meditate, evaluate, even if, in physical combat, it is only a split second.

Another example of using the martial arts mind would be that we allow a hostile, aggressive person to beep her horn at us on the parkway and we let her go ahead of us. We are secure in ourselves so there would be no need to fight for “control of the road” just because someone wants to advance in front of us. Some would say that giving up position is cowardice.

To the kung fu artist or other martial artist, there is no sense in acting with impatience, hostility, irrationality unless the behaviors of the other affect us. If our self-esteem is intact and does not depend upon how others see us or treat us, we have no need to pump ourselves up like peacocks on display being macho to find a mate or bearded dragon lizards who puff their necks to make themselves bigger when they sense a threat.

Let’s look at the yin and the yang of things, yin meaning giving and yang meaning taking, more or less. If person 1 yells at person 2, person 1 is showing yang qualities, taking and aggression. Most people would react to person 1 by yelling back, giving it back to her. If person 2 does this, she is meeting yang with yang, like the standoff between 2 wolves, 2 rhinocerii, 2 warthogs. This causes friction, fighting, discomfort and rarely ends positively.

If person 2 is a skilled martial artist, she is trained not to develop aggression from someone else’s aggression. She maintains her own balanced nature. Often times, if person 2 lends an understanding ear and shows the yin, nurturing quality; person 1 will calm down. That is the nature of yin-yang. They balance each other everywhere, all the time. That separates us from wild animals.

Here’s a common scenario and a breakdown of possible action steps in response:
I have a conversation with my friend, and we disagree. My friend yells at me, insults me and walks out on me. I have 2 options:

A) I can choose to call my friend back later or the next day because I want to see how she is doing. Since I do not need to keep score of my friend’s poor behavior, I do not shun my friend because she shunned me. I take on the role of nurturer toward my friend. It usually ends up putting me in role of teacher, not that that is my intention, but that’s what happens when I call and communicate well.

B) I can choose not to call my friend because I am keeping score. Who does this serve?
When we are young, we say,

“I’m not gonna be your friend because you said this to me, and you didn’t apologize.”

This is expected because we work from our feelings alone.

When we are older, acting the way of the child does not utilize our reason and the wisdom from our experience we have taken so long to gain.

During kung fu training, we study and learn who we are. We do focus training which is mental and physical. We learn not to react because someone reacts. (We may act if we are in danger, but we act in the way that best suits the situation, not the way someone else acts.)

We don’t have to defend because someone has offended. If our personal space or that of someone we want to protect is not violated, we don’t have to take an action. Part of this is because we have physical confidence. But, mostly, it’s because we have a greater capacity for patience, tolerance and understanding because we have taken the time to look inward. We also have developed an attitude of responsibility to communicate clearly to others, because we have learned the right way to be.

CONCLUSION

Most of what kung fu or any true martial art is is a systematic approach to living our lives with temperance, forgiveness, honor, respect for others and respect for ourselves. So, before we go on with a few action steps, here is A SECRET, which is only an interesting fact, not known by many who haven’t studied kung fu.

The words “Kung” and “Fu,” together, refer to work successfully accomplished over time. Here’s the secret: What’s fascinating to most of us is that kung fu can refer to any work where someone has applied mastery. That means a chef, a hair stylist, a chemist, a firefighter, a writing professor can all be doing “good kung fu.” which is the translation when we say ho kung fu to someone other than a martial artist studying the Chinese variety.

What this means is that people who master their craft are kung fu artists. They use the same focus, patience, examination, reason, integrity, perseverance, creativity and self-discovery used by the kung fu master. So, the secret is not really a secret, as you see. But, it defines people and process and the fact that the study of kung fu is parallel to the study of music, dance, invention, psychology, masonry, cooking, surgery, oral presentation. And martial arts of the mind is studied by all who train in every martial art.

ACTION STEPS

Consider taking these action steps in the spirit of martial arts of the mind. You may find, if you haven’t already, that reducing aggressive behavior we show due to sadness or anger is not as hard if we give up our own behaviors that do not support us. These methods do not work 100% of the time, but they give us great opportunity.

1) Next time someone yells at you, decide whether the someone is important enough for the relationship to continue. If the answer is yes,

a) if the person is inconsequential, let it go completely.

b) if the person is valuable to you, tell the person s/he is hurting your feelings. When we personalize that what someone has done hurt us, this usually makes the someone stop, take note and change attitudes or even apologize.

c) if the person has value, gently have an internal dialogue with yourself. Recognize that the someone’s being nasty to you usually means you have struck some insecure bone in that person or the person is in pain on her own. Be compassionate of that insecurity or pain by not macho-ing out (yelling back to be the big cat on the mountain). Reach out to the person and ask how you can help and alleviate any bad feelings.

2) See how it feels to withhold aggression. Does it make you feel good or bad? If you feel good, great. Continue it. If you miss the anger conjured up by retaliation, at least you will know what you like. And you will have martial arts of the mind to think about since we can all learn it and implement it in our lives.

FEEDBACK

Please leave a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She believes that martial arts of the mind is something each one of us can cultivate. This comes with proper contemplative training. She says,

“The training must be systematic, so that we learn 1 step, then another, then another, leading to mastery of our own selves. The martial training applies in all walks of life, no matter what we are doing. We use the principles of empty mind and building a foundation that we employ in the physical training to learn martial arts of the mind.”

CHANGE A HABIT: HOW THE HEALTH CARE SYSTEM HAS TAUGHT US BAD HABITS (ISSUE 70)

By Diane Gold

CHANGE A HABIT is an expression that can refer to making an adjustment to just about anything we do. It refers to habits that are both good for us and bad.

According to Chris Brogan, CEO of Human Business Works and New York Times Best-Selling Author,

“Habits come from repeated practice and some sense of reward (negative or positive) for the actions we take.”

When we think of habits, we often forget some of the great ones we have like drinking water, brushing our teeth, meditating, exercising, writing or shaking hands or bowing when we meet people. We don’t usually think about these because they complement our lives and preserve our health and self-esteem.

What we often think about when the word “habit” comes up are overindulgence in eating, drugs, drinking alcohol, gambling, etc. These habits are behaviors we have repeated so many times they now require a considerable effort to stop, different from what would happen should we find out that a good habit, tooth brushing, did harm to us.

Our behaviors of habit, whether supportive or not, have been learned on our own or with the help of our families. What I didn’t think of until I watched Escape Fire last night, a CNN documentary about the U.S. health care system crisis, is that many of our poor health habits have been taught to us through the misinformation given to us by the health care providers we trust with our lives.

Some of what we have been taught by these care givers is:

1) We need animal protein because plant-based protein is not a complete protein.

2) We need a portion of animal based foods in our diet.

3) The more tests and procedures, the better.

4) Going to our medical professional to get drugs is what we do when we are sick. Nutritional counseling is not part of going to the doctor. Why? In our current health care system, there is no reimbursement for our doctors’ talking about food.  What’s even more disturbing is that some 40% of medical schools only require 1 small course in nutrition. We have been trained that this is right, and we trusted this model until our rate of disease continues to soar.

5) Accepting a 5-15 minute medical visit is acceptable for full payment. This is all we’ve ever experienced because doctors and medical practitioners get paid by procedure and not for counseling us or how much health we achieve because of them. We are trained to accept this.

6) Living our lives without worry because new procedures, medications and technology will help us when we get sick has been a precept we have learned, especially since 1997, when the drug manufacturers in the United States got permission to broadcast prescription drug ads.

Unfortunately, we have lived our lives learning these habits. We have built habits around the idea of eating meat/poultry/fish/eggs/dairy for nutrition. The fact that there are a plethora of studies showing that these foods cause cardiovascular and chronic diseases means we will have to consider changing our habits and changing our knowledge to maintain health and, possibly, reverse sickness.

An example of reversal is Dr. Elizabeth Blackburn’s study on telomeres, protective protein caps at the ends of DNA strands that protect its deterioration. She discovered that they wear down from age and stress. With 30 minutes of exercise a day and a vegetarian diet, she was able to reverse this deterioration in her subjects. Wow!

Another MD in Escape Fire, Pamela Ross, comments,

“We have become a society where you drive up and get what you want; and you drive off.”

The habits we have developed of eating fast food is a direct result of the health care system’s misguidance through non-guidance so that we believed it was okay to indulge in greasy (oily and fried) food, sugary food, salty food, processed animal food.

The sad thing is, for the most part, we are not aware, especially in the poorer communities, that the nutritionally calculated value of drive up food is reduced to almost nil because of the negative health side-effects from eating it. The other equally devastating issue is that those of us who know that fast food is bad don’t know what to eat as an alternative for the same shoestring budget expense. Fortunately, children are learning plant-based alternatives and ways to budget for healthy food through their elementary schools. And they are bringing this information home. Go early ed teachers!

Dean Ornish, MD and Head of the Preventive Medicine Research Institute, in Escape Fire, mentions the habits we need for good health: diet (meaning nutritious food and water), exercise, love and support and a healthy lifestyle. He has a strong reaction to those in the “system” who consider acupuncture and meditation for pain as well as lifestyle changes for health radical intervention. He says,

“Radical? Compared to cutting a chest open? Give me a break.”

His comment is made so that we realize to think twice about those in the medical field who continue to support the “sickness model” we have built in the United States and are leery about accepting the “preventive & integrative model” of health care even though the evidence
for success is apparent.

Ornish started his work in 1977 to establish that lifestyle changes (meditation, yoga, plant-based diet, personal support) can stop and reverse coronary artery disease. In 1998, he published research showing that comprehensive lifestyle changes turned gene expression on and off in 3 months. Holy moly!

CONCLUSION

If the habits we have collected regarding medicine, treatment, food, lifestyle choices have been based on misinformation, it’s time to take a look at the foundation on which they were built. This is going to mean changing some habits. It’s also going to involve re-educating ourselves as to which medical professionals know what. Of course, it’s difficult to change doctors. But, if the ones we have are not integrating the necessary health habits into the mix, it might be time. At least, we need to do our own research about some of the things in this article.

Why? Because we don’t want to wait until we get a disease to act. We want to act now so we don’t get a disease.

If we already have a disease, we might want to look at all options available to work with it. There are many choices between drug therapy and choosing to take no drugs. With more knowledge, we can become proficient at changing habits that do not support us. The aura around doctors, that they can do no wrong, is gone, even if we want it to be there. We must be more responsible for understanding our health. Hopefully, we can do this with the help of dedicated medical professionals, who will be open to our wanting to look at integrating lifestyle, nutrition, love and support and exercise.

ACTION STEPS

1) Increase your amount of daily exercise by 5 minutes. If you do not exercise yet, start slowly with 5 minutes of dancing, tai chi, walking or stretching. You can scroll down to the 4th video on this page to start: dianegold.com/tai_chi.html.

2) Add 1 new plant-based main dish to your weekly meal plan.

3) Call someone you know and talk about your excitement over your lifestyle changes. If you do not yet know anyone to call, you can go to askew2u.com and click some answers. Or your local librarian is a place to make contact.

4) Take 5 minutes a day for a week to research any habit you have that you would like to change.

5) Drink an extra glass of water daily for a week.

6) Continue, at least, 3 of these steps for a month. Enjoy!

FEEDBACK

Please leave  a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She believes we can learn much by taking responsibility for ourselves. She says,

“Although we have been led to believe that our total health is in the hands of our doctors, they have not been trained in nutrition, for the most part; and many discoveries that would impact the profit margin of the manufacturers of pharmaceuticals and new equipment who supply doctors with their wares, have been withheld or not covered in doctor’s continuing education.

“Further, to satisfy lobbyists in the meat and dairy industries, nutritional discoveries do not make it to mainstream media, usually. As a result, we have been eating incorrectly, using pharmaceuticals instead of lifestyle changes as our medicine and have not been reaching out for the support we deserve.

“Until now.

“From now on, let’s make an effort to eat well, exercise well, meditate well and support each other. Let’s consider pharmacological regimes second, if possible, and changes in lifestyle first. Let’s get the new knowledge we need to make important decisions about our own lives.

“Special note: I truly believe in the wonders of drug therapy and its magic, when appropriate. And congratulate the drug research that has gotten us where we are. I also congratulate all the pioneers who are taking the time to research and report on plant-based nutrition and mind/body modalities to make these part of our new and improved U.S. Health Care System.”

SPROUTS: 7 REASONS WHY. With Commentary By Jason McCobb, aka Farmer Jay (ISSUE 69)

By Diane Gold

Sprouting is a process that we don’t think twice about, most of the time. We put some sprouts on a sandwich and that’s it. We know they are good for us so we eat them when someone adds them to our restaurant plate. I said usually. Some of us know more, but we can all learn to sprout by reading the HOW TO part of this article, simple as that.

When we sprout a bean or a seed, protein increases by more than 10% by the conversion of starch to fiber. Certain vitamins are produced, essential fatty acids are increased and, in seeds, some minerals merge with proteins increasing how they function. Antioxidants, substances that protect against damage that lone wolf electron oxygen molecules( free radicals) can cause.

And then there’s alkalinity. Sprouts alkalize the body which, like a swimming pool, balances its contents. Studies have shown that certain cancer cells, viruses and bacteria cannot live in an alkaline body (so sayeth Dr. Otto Warburg, Nobel Prize Double Winner).

We had the good fortune of interviewing Jason McCobb, known as Farmer Jay. He gave a simple explanation of how to sprout, why to sprout and tied his work into sustaining our planet.

FOSSIL FUELS IN TRANSPORTING FOOD

When asked why we should support local farmers, Jason immediately mentions the petroleum consumption and how when we buy local goods, we eliminate the need for this fossil fuel for transportation. He also considers its being used up for unnecessary programs.

An astounding statistic from sustainablelafayette.org, a California sustainability group, says,

“In the United States, food travels an average of 1300 miles to reach you.”

Farmer Jay also mentioned that, for every calorie of food grown in the United States, we expend 7 calories of fossil fuel.

The organization peta.org gives this juicy statistic,

“It takes 11 times as much fossil fuel to make 1 calorie from animal protein as it does to make 1 calorie of plant protein.”
If we don’t develop a plant-based nutrition diet, at least we can buy locally grown produce.

WHAT WE NEED TO SPROUT

Here is the simplest set up for sprouting:

   a container for water,

     beans or seeds

     water & an area for rinsing & draining

HERE’S HOW TO SPROUT

I’m always looking for the simplest, easiest, “don’t buy anything you don’t have to” approach to life, so I’ll have more time (or money) for other things. Farmer Jay’s interview helped me understand a lot more about sprouting varieties. To begin, I came up with this formula with Farmer Jay’s guidance and help:

1) Place a cup of garbanzo beans (chick peas) in your container. Many beans and seeds can be used, but these work easily.

WARNING: Kidney bean sprouts are known to be toxic. Choose another variety.

2) Rinse well.

3) Drain the water.

4) Cover the beans with enough filtered water to submerge 2 inches. This way, the beans will continue to be covered when they expand. I have seen 4 parts water to 1 part beans.

5) Rinse the beans after they sit 8 hours or overnight, and return them to the container. No water. The 8 hours of soaking activates growth. It’s amazing.

6) The beans don’t need light. Light will not hurt them, though. They do need to breathe.
I have covered my container with a moist paper towel to replace the cheese cloth I didn’t own so the cats would keep their noses out, but a cover that allows aeration is the only one to be used.

Many U.S. supermarkets sell cheese cloth, a mesh-type fabric that offers aeration. You can place it over the top and fasten it with a rubberband. Then you can turn your jar upside down and let any moisture drain. A plastic colander works well, too, after the soaking phase.

7) Re-rinse the beans 3 X the next day.

8) On the morn of the following day, you may see the beginning of tails. This is good.

9) Re-rinse 3 X that day also.

10) In the morning, rinse the beans again. The tails will be 1/2 inch, give or take.

Farmer Jay says, ”

“You can eat [them] any time once [the] seeds pop open.”

WHY SPROUT?

1) HEALTH. Sprouts are alive. Live food produces enzymes, vitamins and minerals that are necessary for the body. In sprouted form, these powerful nutrients are easier for the body to absorb (bioavailable). Sprouts also increase the protein content in the bean or seed, which is easily digestible as a sprout.

2) SUSTAINABILITY OF SELF AND PLANET. When we grow our own sprouts, we control the process by which this food is grown. We also assist our community in increasing the food stores by creating new food sources that contain rich nutrients for us. Finally, we cut down on the transportation needed to ship sprouts from the grower to us.

3) PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT. By sprouting beans or seeds, we become closer to plants and the land and develop a deeper connection to how they affect our life. Instead of depending upon others to provide all our food, we can experience a small taste of independence from our robotic trip to the food store. We also develop a great respect for the farmer or grower by involving ourselves in this mini-process of growing food.

4) FAMILY ACTIVITY. Growing sprouts is a great process in which to involve the whole family. It brings up many topics of conversation; it is an education process that everyone should experience at a young age and it’s an experience for all ages, from toddler to great grandma.

5) TASTE. Sprouts taste good. The texture of sprouted beans is interesting, and they seem sweeter than the beans from which they come, possibly because the cell wall (starch) breakdown produces the enzyme, amylase, which breaks the starch down to simple sugars. It could also be my endorphins kicking in at the thrill of eating what I have grown.

When biting into a sprouted bean, it is soft enough to be pliable but firm enough to be crunchy.

6) ECONOMY. When we sprout on our own, we save money. We also save the country money. One cup of beans or seeds ends up being many cups of sprouts. The amount we pay for the beans is considerably less than the amount we pay for sprouts. By growing our own, we contribute to cutting down the need for transportation for sprout delivery, too.

7) WEIGHT LOSS. These tasty little nuggets of nutrition are an excellent snack for weight loss regiments. Calorie sparse and nutrition rich. They can ward off the biggest craving because it’s difficult to overeat them. They are filling and, when grown at home, always available for craving emergencies.

CONCLUSION

After speaking with such a passionate farmer (this is my first interview with any farmer), I see the joy he feels in working the land. I am grateful to have met Farmer Jay who believes very much in his work. He uses my fruit and veggie waste for his animals and his compost pile. I know it goes toward animals who are loved and crops that are farmed with love. Now, if I can get my neighbors to save their fruit and veggie waste and drop it off, that would be progress.

In conclusion, I asked Farmer Jay what he would tell people if he could get one message out. As with most of his other

answers, it was simple and to the point. He said, without hesitation,

“GROW SOMETHING.”

The message was clear: he wanted people to experience how special it is to grow something, to know that we have the ability to sustain ourselves for our health and for Earth. Or that’s what I heard. And I might have been right. Because when I asked him how he wanted to be remembered, this is what he said,

“I want to be remembered as a steward of the earth.”

Or did he mean “steward of Earth?”

We can all be stewards of Earth through sprouting. Are we ready?

ACTION STEPS

1) Choose a bean or seed that you would like to sprout.

2) Follow the directions above, and sprout your bean or seed.

3) Do a little gratitude dance after you have eaten what you have made. OK, you can clap your hands or exclaim the satisfaction, but dancing for joy is a huge uplifter.

4) If you see any mold in your beans, discard them and start again. Water in the beginning. Air after that.

5) Enjoy the process.

6) Tell someone.

7) Send us a photo. We’ll post it.

FEEDBACK

Please leave a comment and LIKE us.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She believes we can learn new things at any time in our lives. She says,

“Although many of us have not grown our own food, it is something to think about. It has never been so obvious that we, the people, each need to take responsibility to stabilize how we live on Earth. 1 small stride is to sprout. Even if it’s only 1 time, it’s 1 step toward self-sufficiency, it minimizes transportation costs, we become a good example for the next generation and we honor the planet. Not bad for an act that takes less than 5 minutes for 2 or 3 days.”

THE GENDER ISSUE: HOW WE AS WOMEN SEE OURSELVES (INCLUDES 7 ACTION STEPS) (ISSUE 68)

By Diane Gold

The gender issue is alive and well all over the world. There are many sides to it and hurdles we can turn to our advantage. I just read in Wikipedia,

“Professional women are still responsible for domestic labor and child care.”

I just sent an email to wikipedia.org that it is supposed to read,

“Often, even in 2013, professional women take responsibility upon themselves for domestic labor and child care, even though they work. They fail to create shared effort with their partners who may fail to see or correct the imbalance of duties. ”

This example, from a 2013-edited open source reference tool. used 2500 times per second for a total of 7 billion visits per month, gives us a clear understanding of how misconceptions, falsities, mistakes are spread.

In general, would someone born in 1970 or before describe women as sensitive, soft and knowledgeable about design, clothing and fashion?

In general, would someone born in 1970 or before describe men as strong, mechanical and able to cope with life’s decisions?

These descriptions are examples of stereotypes created about gender. The children of the people born in 1970 heard these stereotypes and saw many of their parents living them. Stereotypes can ruin lives if we cling to them and let them take over. We can all use a dose of the age old philosophy,

“If it doesn’t apply, let it fly,”

but, what’s tough about this one is that many of us may be confused as to whether a stereotype applies, and this confusion can drag us down.

Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, author of Lean In, writes about how women are still not equal and how women may be holding themselves back.
___

When we buy into The Gender Issue, meaning we believe we are inferior or we don’t get educated because we just want children and marriage or we believe stereotypes that feel wrong to us, this holds us back.

OVERCOMPENSATION

As a direct result of our having been deemed the weaker sex in the past, women may act with cold, ruthless and inflexible behaviors. If we react because of a perceived vulnerable reputation, we’re living someone else’s perception. If we become strong, capable achievers, we will change old thinking. As the decades pass.

To compensate for our diminished status, we may also train in self-defense and become the best fighters of our time, just to get rid of our self-doubt. However, if the doubt was there to begin with, it will be there now. What won’t be there is the insecurity that comes without personal protection skills. So this, in itself, is invaluable.

PERSONAL PROTECTION TRAINING

Because our families may have bought into the gender issue; we women may not have learned boxing, martial arts, how to stand up for our physical selves. We may be walking around lacking personal protection training with that shaky inner feeling of slight anxiety. This emotion is not gender specific, although many favor the old gender specific attitudes; this insecurity shows up in anyone who has not been trained in strength training, meditation and some type of combat. A big oversight in our school and parenting systems leaves this out. This deprivation of training causes much stress that exists in anyone who has ever been confronted by a bully, a demanding significant other or an authority figure.

THE DRILL SERGEANT LED BY OUR SELF-IMAGE

We all have internal drill sergeants. We drive ourselves to mold our self-images. If we are women whose parents, teachers, neighbor gangs, local bullies, heritage, culture have drilled into us that we don’t need personal protection techniques or to take care of our own safety; we may have been led to believe in ourselves as weak by picking up the attitudes of others with “gender issues.”

It is most appropriate for every one of us to learn how to protect ourselves: girl, boy, woman, man. As they say, knowledge is power. When we are well trained, we doubt ourselves less, maintain awareness of what’s around the corner and are more prepared to interpret and successfully meet physical contact and body language of others.

This holds especially true of those who did not fit into the formula of “girls play with dolls and don’t fight; boys play with guns and fight” of the past.
Going to school for self-protection opens up a world of relaxation and confidence.

One wonders why personal safety training has not been added to “the” required school curriculum beginning in elementary school. This type of training is basic to our ability to build a strong emotional and physical foundation. How could it be left out? It also tempers the spirit so that violence is met with temperance. Go figure.

DRESS

Whether we wear a veil to cover our heads with long sleeves and floor length shirt or we wear very short shorts and a low cut T-shirt; the way we dress makes an impression on others and on ourselves. The way we dress affects how we feel about ourselves, and it is important to consider this well.

We are not objects to be gawked at dressing for the pleasure of others. We are brilliant beings who can choose the way we look and feel in a world we are involved in changing. If we choose to dress for others, that’s great. As long as it soothes, rather than inflames, our nature.

It’s easy to forget we dress for ourselves, especially if the company we keep dictates our wardrobe. When someone else controls us, we can get lost and forget we are not someone else’s image of us, only our own.

The same occurs for anyone who doesn’t fit into the “frills are for girls, football is for boys” convention.

So what can we do to insure that we nurture ourselves and support who we are?

ACTION STEPS

1) Take a few minutes to go over how you feel on certain issues, either digitally or with pad and pen.

2) Write down one of these words per line, leaving white space after each for writing:
confidence, personal safety, gender fitting in, being an example

3) For confidence: rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being high.

4) For personal safety, rate how safe you feel on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being high.

5) For fitting in, rate how well you fit into the gender situation you have established for yourself with the same rating scale.

6) For being an example, rate how well you set an example to exemplify your perception of a woman.

Here comes the real fun!

7) Pick 1 of your scores and talk to yourself about it. The action step is to figure out a way to bring it up by 1 scale number within the next month.
Here’s how:

For confidence: tell yourself,
“I am super fantastic,”
3X while looking at yourself in the mirror every morning for a month. Don’t forget to laugh and smile. If you haven’t seen this video, take a look: youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg

For personal safety: from now on, talk with your hands by always having your hands a foot in front of you as if you were holding the front of a beach ball – so that no one can come closer than that to you, unless you choose it. This is a simple way to start thinking about the space around you and how to maintain it.

For gender fitting in: find a group of anonymous buddies online by typing in your issue. Start reading how other people feel and deal. Jump in if it moves you. If identity is an issue, 1-888-843-4564 is the help line at glnh.org.

For being an example: to upgrade the way you are a good example, write down what you would like your daughter to learn about being a woman, getting a job, being a partner, facing prejudice. Talk with a friend about 1 of them. Or, if you have a daughter, focus on discussing 1 of these items with her.

CONCLUSION

Sometimes we see ourselves through others’ eyes. We look past the goodness that we are and hear the worst things people have said to us based on our womanhood, such as,

“You’re only a woman,” “you’re not worthwhile,” “there’s no need for you to get an education.”

We remember the impressions from our childhood, the good, the bad, especially the ugly. There are many we haven’t even actualized into words. They form us, though.

Therefore, we need to put new impressions onto ourselves, those that spell out the way we are and aspire to, the way we want to be treated, the way we want others to see us. Through discussion with others, through fortifying ourselves with protection training, support groups, personal work and gratitude; we can better our own lives and be part of moving the gender issue to change.

FEEDBACK

Please leave a comment and LIKE us.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She believes we all can pay a little more attention to the gender issue. She says,

“If we are women, we can take a good close look at remnants of old ideas that may be floating around in our head and motivating us. If we are men, we can consider what is fair and just in the world and how we would feel should we be belittled.

“We can all be more aware of diminishing stereotypes as well as how stereotypes diminish us. This reflection will help us in every way.”

PEACE NEEDS A BRIDGE: HOW TO BUILD IT AND KEEP IT OPEN (ISSUE 67)

By Diane Gold

Peace Needs A Bridge! Not a new concept, but 1 whose time has come. Again.

In November, 1969, I ended up going to the Palm Beach Pop Music Festival, a glorious lifetime game changer of 3 cold, wet and muddy days where I saw Janis Joplin, The Rolling Stones, Iron Butterfly and a host of other musicians, friends, action. Yes, they were singing about peace and what was wrong with our time with our presence in Vietnam very much on our minds. We wore tie dyed t-shirts, flowers in our hair, peace signs on our clothing and marched for various freedoms which are now common place.

Present day in the two thousand teens, many people see the need to work toward curbing human anguish, violence, bullying, not unlike the sentiments of my youth. Because we are technically far ahead of that time and live within a speedway of information submission and retrieval, these issues are much more complicated.

In order to enable human beings to take action in any era, they must be motivated beyond apathy, other driving motivators and the urge to relax and let someone else do it. When it comes to peace, there are lots of organizations that talk about peace.

But what really gets done, and what needs to get done for peace to exist?

BUILDING THE BRIDGE

Most of us would prefer to have peaceful dealings than to have conflict, although I remember Robin Williams’ role as a man in a heaven where there was no fighting, and there was only peace (What Dreams Are Made Of). Some say conflict makes it interesting and saves us from boredom. Those who have experienced war and many others of us would opt for its end.

SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW THAT DOESN’T WORK?

INTELLECTUAL PURSUITS

We have all listened to lectures, read some article, report, paper or book justifying the need for peace. Although these intellectual pursuits are impressive, they are not exciting enough to make us get involved enough to empower a movement. Most of the time, we do not move because most of what we hear and read is dry and does not create that exponentially growing enthusiasm we require to take a committed step.

Although empassioned about their projects, lecturers usually deliver their information without humor, pizazz and charisma. Their material may be brilliant, but it usually doesn’t drive the masses to action. Think of how many seminars you have attended where the material is interesting but nothing happens as a result. It enhances our intellect and makes us feel intelligent but doesn’t stimulate our action gene enough so that we take a step.

AGGRESSION

Aggressive behavior involves fighting, yelling, anger and conflict resolution that usually ends in violence. We, as civilized people, accomplish temporary territorial expansion, human rights as we see them at the time of issue and winning a struggle of will until the next powerful wave of fellow humans decides there is a need for change. Not a great show of modern civilization.

(I am in deep gratitude to our military fighters who protect our children, our way of life, our freedoms. At this time, there is need for such military strength. Will this always be our nature, or can we evolve?

I believe in our ability to build a bridge to peace.

FIRE UNDER OUR BOTTOMS

It’s because of the pizazz in some of us, often celebrities, that the others of us are sparked to take action.

Think of Oprah Winfrey’s asking her followers to pledge a $10 donation texting to a 5 digit code on our cell phones to support orphans in a war zone. We react to this appeal almost on auto pilot to contribute. Why? Because her charisma gets us movin’ and shakin’.

You may remember USA For Africa, a collaboration of many musicians, and their single, first to go multi-platinum, We Are The World, and the subsequent album which raised over $64 million in sales toward African famine in 1985. The musicians were the draw, and they pulled us right along with them: to buy their song, to enjoy the multitude of fine musicians, producers and promoters, to spread the word about saving Africa, to believe in its message.

SO, WHAT CAN WE DO THAT BUILDS THE PEACE BRIDGE, THAT’S MORE PRODUCTIVE AND LEADS US IN THAT HARMONIOUS DIRECTION NOW?

All of us want peace of some sort. But what are we willing to agree upon? All of us are interested in the “what’s in it for me” concept, such as,

“I want to live in a peaceful neighborhood, but I’m not willing to let the homeless live here,”

or

“Why can’t we all get along, but I’m not sharing my land with anyone because I worked hard for it.”

Some of us are leaders; some of us are followers. Some of us get inspired by a single leader, and some of us spread that message, ourselves.

Since we all like to be entertained and we get involved by celebrity messages, let’s continue to use entertainment to make sparks fly. It’s sexy, creative, diverse, instantaneous. We become instantly involved when we hear a song that we like or see art that is beautiful.

THE SECRET

All we need is a system that gives us somewhere to put the enthusiasm created by the entertainment so that we can change ourselves and act in and for peace, a network of accountability.

ACTION STEPS

While we are creating such a system, I see a very definite direction in which to go to put building blocks into the construction of the peace bridge. They are immediate.

1) START COMMUNICATING

Start talking to someone who has grown up in war. When they get inflammatory about their opposing tribe, don’t get inflammatory or judgmental. Work to understand this behavior.

Continue this discussion so that you learn the dynamics of reason in war, first-hand.

2) FIND PERFORMERS THAT FIRE YOU UP

Commit that you make it your goal to pick a performer that fires you up: a musician, a visual artist, an actor, a creator. Pick one who donates to a peace cause. Go to concerts of this performance troupe, either in person or online. Follow the network attached to this performer, and look into the organization that benefits from the donation.

Performers and creators didn’t get there because they aren’t interesting. So, chances are keeping abreast of this 1 person will keep you excited and you will be more likely to keep on this peace path. You might, one day, work side by side with your performer of choice. On the journey, you will be privy to that performers’ art.
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Special note:

If you find that you are more interested in another cause, we must follow our hearts, so switch to that cause and stick with it.

3) NETWORK

Join a network that is all about getting people together for the purpose of creating new art, new music, new creativity for the sake of upgrading our peace, our resources, our human rights and downgrading our greed and our habits that cause us to be unhealthy.

4) 1 MINUTE A DAY

Commit to connecting with a peace organization, based upon your most pressing goal. Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Peace_organizations and pick one.

5) THE BRIDGE’S FOUNDATION STARTS WITH OUR OWN LIVES

In order to build a peace bridge, we have to work every day to rid ourselves of old ideas, old reactions, our own prejudices. How?

a) 1 time a day, be less controlling, more understanding, a better listener and a more tolerant person.
b) Tell a friend you did this.
c) If you really want to make peace, set up role playing peace talks at the local elementary school or community group. If our young aren’t given the opportunity to work on the process, they will learn our mistaken concepts. If our old don’t give it a whirl, we’ll be stuck.
d) If you really, really want to build the bridge, continue step a) until it becomes part of every day for a year.
e) Together, let’s create some peace cards that urge people to collaborate more than they confront.

CONCLUSION

Peace needs a bridge that we, individually and collectively, can build. Every day, we can choose to back away from our own need for power by submitting to listen to someone; we can build the bridge. When we act well, others see it and may make it part of their culture. When we yield, the more powerful we become. We may even release the anger that causes war.

This is a seemingly impossible task, but it is possible we use a consistent systematic approach on a daily basis, within and in the world. It means we have to give something of ourselves to make it happen. Could be false pride, could be our heart, could be land, which is the most difficult thing of all, it seems.

If we start now, we can build a more peaceful culture into the next generation and those to come. What do you think? Is it worth sacrificing our old ways?

FEEDBACK

Please leave a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She believes we can adjust our hostile ways. She says,

“When we yell at someone and that someone reacts in an understanding, non-angry way; we usually simmer down and become (more) reasonable.

“When we yell at someone and that someone yells back, we usually puff out our peacock feathers and yell twice as loud.

“Of the 2 scenarios, only the first 1 makes peace. Therefore, we, as humans, are half way there, already. We can work on the other half that stays peaceful in the face of adversity.”

HOW TO CHANGE A HABIT BY REALIZING OUR LUXURIES (ISSUE 65)

By Diane Gold

How many of us think about how to change a habit? Most of us at 1 time or other, I’d venture to say. At these times, we are focused on ourselves, our frustrations, our strengths, the habits we have created for ourselves and our dreams.

I was thinking about the studies I read, the nutrition I study and have access to, the articles I write on how to lead a better life through no stress, better habits and good times. When all of a sudden, I realized that the techniques I write about are luxurious. Meaning able to be executed because of our luxury. I knew it was time to focus on some of those luxuries that we take for granted.

To see what I’m talking about, consider:

1) how inconsequential it is to have a neighborhood store that carries flax seed if we don’t know that 1 TBS. of ground flax seed will give us a perfect¬¬ 4 to 1 ratio of Omega 3 (alpha-linoleic) essential fatty acid to Omega 6 (linoleic) essential fatty acids or

2) how stress relieving tai chi movement is if we are not permitted to engage in movement.

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Here are 7 categories of luxury. Most of us don’t consider 4 of them to be luxury. We take them for granted. All 7 are part of the luxury package needed in order to create and change habits we accumulate that are not necessities. Let’s consider them.

NUTRITION & WATER

Almost 1 billion people do not get the correct quantity or balance of food worldwide. Often lack of protein is targeted as responsible, rather than lack of education needed for healthy plant-based eating.

According to stopthehunger.com, $100 million of food was bought an thrown away today in the United States. This amount would more than cover the $30 million cost of feeding the entire world’s hungry for the day (the difference between $100 and $30 million would cover the cost of administration and transportation to get the food to the hungry). Another interesting fact is that $150 million was spend today on weight loss programs in the United States.

There are 750 million people with no safe drinking water.

CLOTHING

Rumi, philosopher and poet from Persia said,

“I have seen so many people on whom there were no clothes; and I have seen so many clothes in which there were no people.”

Obviously, some of us have 100 things to wear, and some people have none.
Rumi is from the 13th century. Not much seems to have changed in the way of haves and have-nots.

SHELTER

There are so many different levels of having shelter. Some of us used to have a tin house that was washed away by a hurricane. Others of us have a small apartment. And others own several palatial homes in different parts of the world. Whatever we have, it is a gift. Especially if we can actually be comfortable in it.

I remember the movie, The Ron Clark Story, about an elementary school teacher who was determined to raise the grade point averages of his inner city Harlem students by raising their self-esteem. He arranged to take them to South Africa to visit South African students. Ron’s kids saw gratitude and joy in the South African kids who had no cafeteria, 1 teacher, no bathroom, other than an outhouse, a 1-room school and 80 kids per class. These kids took nothing for granted and opened the eyes of Ron’s kids from Harlem to how joyous life can be with the right perspective.

EDUCATION

With education, we can learn to eat,  drink, grow, produce and live according to the latest discoveries, both medical and production. There are those who believe living the simple, natural life is more advanced than the “civilized” life with education.

Some type of education, whether it is passed on by the generations or in a formal classroom in a school, can help us learn many things to further our lives, such as the value of the flax seed (mentioned earlier), which we might choose for nutrition and longevity, if we knew its benefit.

PEACE & FREEDOM

September 11, 2001 in the United States was the first time many civilians ever experienced an act of war. Yes, I do remember the results of the Vietnam War on several classmates and the nation, but it was not part of my home life.

Many, many people experience war on a daily basis, whether it is guns in the streets due to gang crime and drugs in the neighborhood or guns on every shoulder due to civil or religious war. As we listen to our friends tell their stories of war, do we imagine how we would have pulled through?

Not to get gushy, but, the 1 thing the United States offers is a special array of freedoms. True, we have a little imbalance of power, from time to time, when it comes to the corporation vs. the individual. But, mostly, we have the largest vat of freedom in the world.  Not to be taken lightly.

FINANCIAL POSITION

Whether or not we have a way to sustain our lives and those of our families is often on everyone’s mind. I always say,

“Money is not important unless we don’t have it.”

A huge percentage of the world’s citizens have far less financial backing than makes them comfortable. If we have even a little security, this is a big thing. Most have none.

TIME FOR PERSONAL GROWTH

Time has to do with all the other categories. The better our circumstance, the more time we could have. Many of us work from 9 to 5 every day for 40 years. Others in the world started working 16 hour days from the age of 7. And are still working at the same position 60 years later. When we think about these different scenarios, time takes on a new meaning. We often think about time and how much of it we have. Do we spend it wisely if we have a choice?

ACTION STEPS

1) NUTRITION & WATER ACTION STEP

Consider the beauty of enough food and water. Give some away on a daily basis instead of eating too much or just to be nice. Daily for a week to see if you like doing it.

2) CLOTHING ACTION STEP

If you have enough, give away an outfit of clothing. Pick something you like, and remember your great fortune in having enough.

3) SHELTER ACTION STEP

Keep your place neat and clean in honor of the fact that you have a place to live. Put something cool on the wall to make it homey so you can enjoy working on yourself there.

4) EDUCATION ACTION STEP

We all know something. Why not take on a student, and teach what you know. The teaching experience can change a life. It can also help us change habits. Better to be doing peer or student tutoring than to be hanging out on the corner.

5) PEACE & FREEDOM ACTION STEP

If you are reading this, you are probably not at war. Take a moment to realize this good fortune, and use the gratitude to step forward into a new habit and out of an old.

Bonus: go forgive someone.

6) FINANCIAL POSITION ACTION STEP

There’s a time and a place to think about finances. Pick a 15-minute time slot per day in which you can think about your finances. Same time every day for at least a week. Think everything you want in that time.

For the rest of the day, put it aside. Laugh at yourself and relax, knowing you have your time slot in which to do your financial position thinking, so you will have success with working on goals the rest of the day. Make an adjustment if your day is comprised of financial decisions, but, if it is, take time out.

7) TIME ACTION STEP

Create an extra 5-minute time slot every day for a week. How? By being more organized. In that 5 minutes, listen to music and dance, do tai chi, run around your house/building/farm to focus on the habit you wish to change.
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CONCLUSION

Look at the good and use it to reach your aspirations. As we change, so will our need to change our habits. Go with the flow, and be true to what supports us at the time. Habits are like inertia. Once we get going, we will have little trouble continuing to go toward whatever it is we want.

FEEDBACK

Please leave  a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She is extremely grateful that not a day goes by where she doesn’t realize how lucky she is. She says,

“We can use our good fortune to mold the most creative, productive, meaningful life for ourselves and others. No matter how big or small it is.

“Once we recognize how to see abundance, the smallest morsel is not only enough but it is vast.”

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