ABUSED AT HOME – WHY WE ALLOW IT ~ ISSUE 193 ~ SEPTEMBER 22, 2015

By Diane Gold

When we are abused at home, we make choices. Some of us remove ourselves from the situation, which seems sensible. Others do not or cannot. This essay talks about why we do not even want to remove ourselves from such a situation.

Aside from the very realistic fact that it might not be safe for us to remove ourselves, many of us do not want to remove ourselves from an abuse situation. Why?

1) WE’RE COMFORTABLE

We feel comfortable in our current position and know how difficult it is to change.

2) WE BELIEVE WE CAN’T FIND A BETTER SITUATION

We believe we can’t find a better situation than the one we have, which means we are not seeing ourselves as the worthwhile human beings we are.

3) THINGS ARE GETTING BETTER

We con ourselves into thinking things are getting better. Similar to forgetting the pain of pregnancy right after it happens, we forget the pain and reality of abuse until the next time. This helps us slip into the fantasy that things are getting better. They rarely are.

4) BLAME

We build up an entire list of blame. If we are the abused, this blame is usually directed at ourselves.

Personally, I do not believe that blame is helpful. People act the way they act based upon their principles. If our emotions from some event, person or ourselves cause us to act a certain way, we have chosen the course of action. Whether someone pulled our hair, called us names, was prejudiced because we were the wrong nationality is not relevant to the way we act, ultimately.

We make choices. They are ours alone. Pointing fingers may help us cope. There is no reality attached to the exercise.

5) FEAR OF FURTHER ABUSE

Fear of further abuse is another reason we freeze and stay after being abused. We may be afraid of anything from harassment to death from the abuser.

After speaking to the National Domestic Violence Hotline advocate, I am convinced that this is a huge issue and a stark reality that must be considered very carefully.

Unfortunately, the abuser is fixated on a pattern of anger and bullying. If the abused attempts to vacate the premises and the abuser sees this action, any tragically terrible thing might occur. So, caution must be used at all times.

6) FEAR OF KIDNAPPING

Fear for our children is common.

If there are children involved, we may maintain an abusive relationship so that we don’t put our children at risk of being kidnapped or hurt. However, anyone who lives a quality of life such as this is using despair as a motivator and needs to speak with a professional. As my comments in 5), it is very important to use the utmost caution.

7) OUR CULTURE DOESN’T SUPPORT PROTECTING US

Many cultures do not protect people from abuse. These cultures put certain demographics into slave-like positions, and speaking out or getting away might be deadly.

HOW TO GET OUT

Most readers, in the United States, anyway, are not in abusive situations. They would not choose a person consumed with anger in the first place. And, if they did, they would know that getting out would be the first preferred option at the first hint of such behavior. We all change all the time, though, and any one circumstance can make us lose our balance.

The moment we are abused is the moment for action. Everyone should know about it, including a therapist, our friends, a support group. Involving law enforcement is tricky because we may, deluded or not, not want to color someone’s record as an abuser or live in a place where the law does not protect us. (THINK ABOUT THAT! HOW LUCKY WE ARE WHO HAVE LEGAL PROTECTIONS.) And then there’s the reality of our abuser’s repercussions.

INTERVENTION

Most people who are abused find a way to remove themselves pronto (in protected countries, that is). But then there are those of us (even when the law is on our side) who hesitate, either because we are not safe or we deny we are abused.

But some of us who stay want to help our abuser or go for counseling together.

It’s important to know that we need to be separated first. We need to feel safe first. We need to know we are excellent before we can help someone else feel that way.

The only way we can help our abuser is to remove ourselves from the toxic situation. There is always time for looking at giving help once we have helped ourselves.

The most independent of us will walk out instantly from the smallest amount of abusive behavior (in protected countries). It is not to be tolerated in a mature and lasting relationship, and we see it and have the ability to leave. The less independent of us may cater to our feelings of disbelief, fear, poor self-worth, despair or the realities of financial instability, loving our lavish lifestyle, cultural pressure or not knowing where to go. Maintaining the status quo leads to continuation of abuse.

TRUE STORY

I lived with an abusive man (here in the United States, a protected country) with whom I also shared my livelihood. Everyone saw that I was treated as a dishrag, but I let it happen, in part, because I am hugely kind and compassionate and because it was easier to maintain the life than to change it.

I wanted to be understanding of this man’s brokenness. He had lived through his own wife’s paralysis from a drunken driver. Of course, this tragedy does not excuse abuse. And this, in part, was a great excuse on my part.

Having a martial arts school (which I had with the abuser), I was trained for combat. I thought I should be able to handle any physical abuse. Warrior training trains us for altercations, but abuse in the home is poisonous and must be removed.

I used excuse 1), being comfortable with what I had – or, at least, being comfortable enough to keep the status quo – and 3) things are getting better, which they clearly were not. Until, finally, the business was failing, and I did not resign the next lease. That helped me begin to be out.

ATTACHMENT

Attachment can truly entangle us. I am reminded of the Indian philosophy I studied at age 21 (Radha Soami). With that training and using what I have learned on the subject since then, I know attachment can consume us and hinder our ability to grow.

Picture a root system of a tree growing up around the tree and, ultimately, strangling the tree. Voila! Attachment. It may feel amazing, at times, like,

“Oh, honey. I can’t live without you,”

or it can be quite horrific when our honey treats us like a doormat, and we accept it.

Both of these examples are attachment. They both take a stranglehold.

CONCLUSION

We are wonderful. No matter what reasons we give ourselves for staying and being abused, put them aside, and work with professionals toward a situation in which you are safe. If we stay after one abuse, it will be harder to make a move after the second, after the third, and so on.

We CAN handle change, even if we think we can’t. We were born to withstand huge amounts of change.

We can do it!
We can do it!
We can do it!

ACTION STEPS

If abuse is happening or may be happening,

1) Call an advocate at the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 OR 1-800-799-SAFE.

2) Tell the advocate your situation.

3) If you are not safe, do not do anything quickly to add fuel to a possible angry fire that is brewing inside the abuser, including making a phone call as in 1). You may have to plan your step when your abuser leaves and speak with a trained professional at a center who has experience. SAFE HORIZON in NYC has experience and may be able to help, even if you are not in NYC. 1-800-621-HOPE (4673), just in case the National 24/7 hotline is backed up.

4) If you know you are fairly safe and there are no weapons to fear, you may want to leave your premises to go for a walk to test whether or not you are safe.

5) If you have gone for your walk and your abuser has not followed, it is a good time to use the local resource phone number you have obtained from the national hotline while you are outside and away from earshot of your abuser.

6) If you are still on your walk and your abuser has not followed, you can call your local police department non-emergency number or 911 and talk to law enforcement. You may wish to speak with them away from the house unless you are sure you wish to file a complaint. Different jurisdictions have different rules. You may be able to speak with someone without filing a complaint. Others will require they write down the name of the abuser and will take action again her/him. Before you talk, you certainly have the right to ask which rule applies in your local area.

For purposes of this article, I called my local non-emergency policy number, and they are willing to speak to someone without having to file a report. Not all departments are that way.

If you wish to share your story, please hit reply in your email program to be contacted.

If you need habit help, go to warriorsofweight-consulting.

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DIANE GOLD, PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying peaceful conflict resolution, habit replacement and certified in plant-based nutrition.

She has fallen prey to complacency, fear, slanted thinking at times in her life.

She says,

“When I write about ways that I have been, how I have handled life; I can see my life more clearly. Having allowed an abusive partner to call me names, scream in the house, strike me (whether I struck back or whether striking back is acceptable is not the point here), push me, disrespect me does not seem like what I would do. But, here’s the secret. We all have the ability for emotions to tie us up or set us free. We feel different ones at different times, and some of us may never experience some of them. But, we are all capable of all of them.

“I am the first person to be compassionate because we deserve that in our fellow humans. I am also the first one to realize disrespect – when it comes to others. When it came to seeing disrespect thrown at me daily, I saw it, but I excused it and feared change more than I feared being chastized. I had that entire root system entwined around my thinking.

“Now, I don’t. But, I included my own true story in case it helps one of you cope, speak, make a move, gather information, see your own truth.

“We are full of life and deserve to be treated like royalty. I don’t mean we deserve to be spoiled, although those who love us may want to spoil us. But we deserve to be around people who value us, people who show us respect, people who go out of their way for us, people who enjoy us.

“Let’s keep that in mind so that we lead the best lives possible.

“Finally, let’s take overall good care of ourselves because we are so worth it.”

WATER SHORTAGE: OUR ROLE (ISSUE 162) MARCH 17, 2015

By Diane Gold

WATER SHORTAGE

The reason I wrote this article was because I saw myself wasting water, even in the face of knowing that there is a water shortage. It really hit me when I had my own water shortage. I knew I was washing the dishes in my sink with the water running the entire time. I began to think that using a dishwasher, which my current residence lacks, might be more economical.

(According to the Water Resources section of whitehouse.gov [http://water.usgs.gov/edu/qa-home-percapita.html], my activity of washing for 3 minutes 2 times a day using a new faucet but an old sink uses about the same amount of water as one dishwasher load at 20 gallons per day. Too much.]

A CLOGGED SINK TEACHES COMPASSION

So, here’s what happened to my sink. It clogged. So, my water consumption came to a screeching halt. And I would have had to wait for a drain fixer until the following day if I had sat tight. That’s when I got a miniscule taste of feeling water shortage in the way that so many people do every day, and that is, not having water at my disposal when I wanted it.

True, I wasn’t really without water. I could Valley Girl myself into the bathroom and use water from the bathroom sink. But, I did not have my regular access, and the bathroom sink was too small for me to fill a pot with water. In my panic, I decided to go to the store and get some horrible chemicals to put down the sink that were guaranteed to fix the clog and pollute the Earth.

Although I felt sad at having to pour pollution into the pipe that would reach wherever it ended up, I did it anyway. It was guaranteed to work in 15 minutes, even though it took 12 hours.

The result was I was forever more cognizant of my water waste and continue to be so.

WHY IS THIS MY PROBLEM, OTHERS MIGHT ASK?

Some of us may not see there is a global water shortage. We don’t see 840,000,000 people in front of us every day who have no water. We say,

“What does this have to do with me? I have never been without water.

“I don’t use much water.

“There’s so much water from oceans that we can desalinate it if we have to.

“Only a few people in the centers of a few countries experience shortage.

“And what does this have to do specifically with my habits. They don’t have an effect water shortage.”

My response to those statements is clear, not because I am the most diligent person, but because we are not alone.

THE HUMAN FAMILY

We forget quickly that we are part of one human family. If one part of our family is thirsty, then it is our responsibility to do something about it as if it were the people in our very house.

Remember the last hurricane, tornado, monsoon, tsunami that passed by?

People we never even spoke with before, who had lived in our village, on our street, right next door, up the avenue or field shared food, refrigeration, ice, concern, nurturing, and, yes, water. It was a magical transformation caused by our common environmental disaster.

Why are we so self-absorbed that we’re not like that every day? We all care about the people who are water insecure. Right?

FOOD CHOICE CAN WASTE WATER

Since life is so complicated, it is hard for us to think of water shortage unless it is right at our front door. It usually takes some heart wrenching photo of children’s misshapen bodies for our attention to be drawn to drought or lack of access to water. Imagine, though, that we are causing the continued water shortage by overuse. And how are we doing it?

According to the Water Footprint Network, 40 gallons of water are used to produce a pound of pulses (lentils, chickpeas, peas beans) compared to producing a pound of beef, which requires 45 times more water. So, our use of animals for food is one of our big wastes.

ACTION STEP

We could balance the water shortage by eating plants. That would allow everyone to have more water. According to everything I learned in my courses to become Certified in Plant-Based Nutrition, eating plants would prevent a bunch of chronic diseases and suffering; and it is not necessary to eat animal protein and most of us in the Western world are over-consuming protein.

If we were eating plants, we could be teaching developing countries who are emulating us to grow plants efficiently, save their bodies and save the Earth. They would be spared learning the hard way that the amount of water it takes for raising animals and the disease statistics associated with eating meat, fish, poultry, dairy and the land we destroy are reason enough not to do it.

HOUSEHOLD CHOICES CAN WASTE WATER

Those of us who do not have to walk a mile to the water pump, and that’s most of us in the United States, take water for granted. We use water regularly for oral hygiene, in our toilets, for washing ourselves and cleaning our houses, to prepare food within our single family structure and to drink. Are we diligent, though? Yes, the amount we use in household is miniscule compared with the amounts used in agriculture. But, it still matters.

I mentioned earlier my personal waste. It turns out I was letting the water run the entire time I was brushing my teeth. For no reason other than that I liked the sound, I liked the feel of the water trickling on my toothbrush; but, mostly, because I forgot to turn it off, I was being wasteful and socially unacceptable. I also kept it running before and after filling my name brand electronic water flosser. Again, the amount of waste was not huge, but it was completely unnecessary. I’ve decided diligent water use matters.

By being diligent and turning the water off more often, I can maintain my 360 gallons or less a day for a single person in an apartment. I am taking responsibility for 15 minutes of watering the grass outside since I get to see it.

What the chart at the US Geological Surveys Water Science School does not take into account is the amount of water used to prepare our food. I am a plant-based eater, so I am using a smaller amount of water to grow my produce than someone who eats animal products. But, if I forgot about morality and ate 1 hamburger for the day, my water consumption would quadruple. Too much to be sustainable.

Plants require water to grow, but it is common knowledge they require less than animal based foods. I’ve seen statistics that animal-based food (including poultry, fish and dairy) use from 2.9 X more to 13 X more water, but I just know the number is considerably more.

CONCLUSION

I have read some surprising statistics about water, including, according to the Rural Community Assistance Partnership (from a document prior to April, 2009), that 1.7 million people in the United States live without plumbing facilities.

According to the April 29, 2011 article by Laurie Ure for CNN, nearly 1 billion people walk 3.5 miles a day to fill their jerry can to bring water home for the family. How often do those people get to their water source only to find a water shortage or a source that is dried up, closed, contaminated, unavailable? Something to think about.

Let us be diligent to contribute positively to reduce water shortage by being connected to everyone in need, by considering our food choices and minimizing pollution, by composting and recycling, and, easiest of all, by reducing water waste that may be right in front of our eyes.

Although there is water shortage, there are areas worldwide that can access water with the right equipment. World Water Day, March 22 2015, celebrates water and our awareness that it is not forever. If you wish to donate to build a well so that 500-1000 people can have access to groundwater near their home in Africa for 10 years, please do it at: https://thewaterproject.org/community/profile/diane-gold.

If you wish to share your story, please hit reply in your email program to be contacted.

If you need habit help, go to warriorsofweight-consulting.

FEEDBACK

We value your feedback very much.

Please leave a comment below.

Please LIKE us on the website and at

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You can also follow us on Twitter @warriorsoweight.

Thanks.

DIANE GOLD, PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying peaceful conflict resolution, habit replacement and certified in plant-based nutrition.

She cares about water. She says,

“I’m grateful for my sink’s having clogged. It gave me a great look at conservation of water in the kitchen. I’m grateful for noticing my toothbrush water, so I can reduce it.

“These are tiny things which, alone, amount to little, but, together, would be more meaningful. Let’s take a moment and consider that water is not renewing as quickly as we are using it. So, let’s use less. And let’s appreciate what we have more.

“Finally, let us all take good care of ourselves because we are so worth it!”

LEARNING HOW TO LEARN: OUR BIGGEST MISTAKE (ISSUE 169) MARCH 10, 2015

By Diane Gold

I can’t stress enough the importance of learning how to learn and how important it is to teach this from the start. Whether we are raised through education at home or by going to public or private school, one thing stands out: we each see through a different set of eyes. And our biggest mistake is not making first learners aware so they can decide for themselves the bias of their lessons. Learning How To Learn

LESSON ONE: THE PROCESS OF LEARNING

When we teach young people or mature folks for the first time, we sometimes throw information at them without orienting them to the process of learning. This process includes understanding how learning works. As first time learners, we trust everything we are given, unless we are taught to look at the educational provider. It is crucial that each elementary teacher ingrain in each student the idea that everyone, including teachers, judges, parents and ourselves, sees with new eyes. We give information with the color of what we believe to be correct and true. And, it’s hard to teach this because we want first learners to trust us.

The process of learning I refer to is the understanding that not every bit of what we are taught is correct, honest and offered with benevolence. Sometimes, teachers, judges, parents want us to think a certain way, so we teach the subject as if there is only one set of information possible. Most of us reach full adulthood before we understand the dangers of blind faith.

LESSON TWO: BLIND FAITH

I am the first one to have blind faith and that most of us are good, nurturing and positive. The faith I would blindly follow, though is the understanding that we are all human, and humans, sometimes, without even knowing it, have internal agendas. When we are just born, we have not been influenced enough to be deceitful. After that, we can trust that the human spirit can be fickle. We can be blindly faithful in knowing that we all do our best to pass on the lesson, although doing our best usually includes our being influenced by how we have chosen to perceive the world.

LESSON THREE: LEARNING HOW TO LEARN AND RELEARNING HOW TO LEARN BY CHOOSING AND SORTING OUT THE PUREST INFORMATION

The very purpose of martial arts training is to learn how to learn. It is usually appropriate to say relearn how to learn because the sad truth is most of us have to figure this out after we are grown, never having been exposed to this process of learning by most teachers’ being more concerned with disseminating their version of material than with the process of how to look at learning. We can use this martial arts systematic approach when learning everything.

So, the first thing we say in the martial classroom is,

“Become empty. Place any preconceived notions, movements, feelings outside the door.”

This is done so that the student begins the lesson with as little coloration or influence from knowledge we already have or think we have. Executing this directive allows us to remove some of the bias that may arise from old information. And, herein is the crux of learning (or relearning) how to learn.

AN EXAMPLE

Let’s say we are going to hear a panel on whether it’s a good idea to genetically modify foods. As at any debate, we would hope to have all views present. In this case, the head speaker is the director of genetically modified foods industry, one panelist is in that person’s pocket and the third panelist is known not to speak out about GMOs.

The listeners of this panel would think that, if this panel is at a large convention that is known for being socially conscious, all sides would be represented. If we are learning about GMOs for the first time, whatever is said on that panel would sway our understanding. And there will never be a sign saying,

“This panel does not represent all sides of this discussion.”

If we understand the process of learning as part of our repertoire, we will be informed, not manipulated because we will consider the bias that is built into the discussion.

EXAMPLE 2

Another example occurs when the teacher asks the students to close their eyes as they are standing on a boardwalk, low to the sand. S/he then removes two wooden boards right in front of them, which means, if they step forward, will land them on their butts in the sand. Because the students’ eyes are closed, they cannot see this board removal. The teacher then says that, for this exercise, the words “move forward” will represent the concept “stay still.”

The teacher then says,

“Move forward.”

All the students stay still, remembering the phrase “move forward” as meaning “stay still,” except one. This one student was busy daydreaming during the initial “move forward” instruction, and he loses his footing and lands in the sand.

Straying from focus, being distracted has caused this one student to falter.

CONCLUDING ACTION STEP RECIPE

In order to work this idea of emptying ourselves so that we can fill ourselves with knowledge, a basic learning how to learn principal; we must come up with some trust system by which we live. The one I live by is that we blindly believe that we all do our best, but we are not perfect and show understanding when someone else is not or when we, ourselves, are not.

Here is what I believe is a great recipe for learning how to learn or relearning how to learn:

BE TOLERANT.
BE FORGIVING AND LOVING.
TRUST IN HUMAN GOODNESS BUT KNOW WE ARE INFLUENCED EASILY.
BE DILIGENT ABOUT REALIZING BIAS.
BE ACTIVE IN TEACHING STUDENTS TO KNOW THEIR MENTORS.

If you wish to share your story, please hit reply in your email program to be contacted.

If you need habit help, go to warriorsofweight-consulting.

FEEDBACK

We value your feedback very much.

Please leave a comment below.

Please LIKE us on the website and at

WarriorsOfWeight on Facebook.

You can also follow us on Twitter @warriorsoweight.

Thanks.

DIANE GOLD, PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying peaceful conflict resolution and habit replacement, certified in Whole-Foods Plant-Based Nutrition.

She believes that the most important thing we can learn is that we all look from our own eyes, and we are taught by people who are looking through their eyes. She says,

“It’s hugely important for first learners to realize that can trust people to be human. We will all tell our own story. And, though it’s paramount that children trust teachers, we have to find a way to teach them about their own view and the joy of questioning ours.

“Our goal is not to repress but to make thriving, thinking, creating scientists and social scientists. So, it should be our pleasure to spell out the art of learning how to learn. It also should be our thrill to be part of the art of relearning how to learn.

“In the meantime, let us all take good care of ourselves, because we are so worth it!”

EXTINCTION: ARE WE RESPONSIBLE? (ISSUE 167) FEBRUARY 24, 2015

By Diane Gold

Let’s talk about Extinction and Loss Of Species, and are we responsible?

Yes, of course, we know that biology of a species, weather conditions, habitat destruction and ocean overuse, air quality or availability of whatever the species needs to breathe, food availability, water pollution, how the inhabitants of a planet nurture it and natural planetary cycle, all have to do with how long a species survives and how strong that species is.

Today’s article is written by our friend and colleague, Richard Oppenlander, D.D.S., dedicated researcher, who is one of the premier experts on how our food choices affect the sustainability of and species on our planet. He, in his very evidence-based and organized fashion, brings us information on how our food choices tie us to extinction and loss of species.

His last sentence is our ACTION STEP.

BIODIVERSITY AND FOOD CHOICE

by Richard Oppenlander (originally published at comfortablyunaware.com.)

There needs to be a correction, and also modification of a particular concept, to the recently published article I had written for the North American Vegetarian Society (“Meat: no longer just a factory farm issue” in Vegetarian Voice 2012) regarding biodiversity loss.

The “30,000 per year” extinction or loss of species statement I made is actually referring to species of animals, plants, insects—not simply animals (although the “animal” kingdom technically includes insects).

This figure was first brought to light by Harvard naturalist and emeritus professor of biology, Edward Wilson (The Diversity of Life, Harvard University Press 1992) and supported by Niles Eldridge (Life in the Balance, Princeton University Press 1998). Others such as Georgina Mace, Paul Ehrlich have extinction estimates as high as 70,000 to 130,000 species per year (7,000 to 13,000 times the background rate).

After speaking with and interviewing numerous researchers with the Species Survival Commission of IUCN (The World Conservation Union) and COBD (The Convention on Biological Diversity), about this topic over the past four months, I now feel there are many uncertainties surrounding attempts at quantifying the exact number of species becoming extinct per year. For this reason, it is more meaningful to view our planet’s current loss of species and the impact of our food choices in the following manner:

1) We are losing species of life as well as ecosystems on Earth at an unprecedented and alarming rate, estimated to be anywhere between 1,000 and 10,000 times the “background rate”—that which had been seen for the previous several thousands of years. Therefore, it is this massive rate of extinction rather than number of loss that becomes a more meaningful metric and cause for concern.

2) It is difficult, if not impossible, to accurately predict the number of species loss per year because of a number of factors. One of the largest unknowns is the exact amount of species that we have on earth, which is a needed component when attempting to determine total numbers of species loss when using an extinction prediction equation. This is one of the reasons the Species Area Curve Relationship method of extinction calculation has led to speculation and wide ranges of numbers of extinct species.

It is the feeling of most researchers today that although we have identified approximately 1.8 million species on our planet, there are most likely between 10 and 30 million that exist.

3) Regardless of the exact number of species becoming extinct per year, it is alarming at best and can be most attributed to loss of habitat—and the predicted future escalation will be due to habitat loss combined with climate change.

4) With estimates of 45% of all the land mass on Earth used by animal agriculture and 1 to 2 trillion fish extracted from our oceans each year (by fishing methods such as trawling, purse seine, long lines, explosives and other techniques that are damaging ecosystems)—eating animals (fishing and livestock production) is the largest contributing factor in habitat loss and constitutes the second largest sector implicated in anthropogenic [human caused] greenhouse gas emissions which lead to climate change.

There has been widespread thought that marine species were more resilient to extinction and our further exploitation. However, there is finally a growing amount of evidence that fish and wildlife in our oceans are as, or more, vulnerable to extinction than many terrestrial and freshwater species. Extinction – Fish Vulnerable To Extinction

Despite continued massive harvesting of sea life from our oceans, it is generally agreed upon by researchers not affiliated with sustainable certifying organizations that the amount and distribution of threatened marine species is, at best, “poorly known.” Our demand to eat fish cannot be taken out of the equation when discussing our abuse of natural resources, eventual loss of species, and climate change.

Habitat loss is far and away the most pervasive threat to terrestrial animal species, impacting 86% of all mammals, 88% of amphibians, and 86% of all birds. One in every eight birds, one in every three amphibians and one in every four mammals is facing an extremely high risk of extinction in the near future. Overexploitation of animals for consumption remains a second major factor for extinction such as can be seen in wild meat trade in Africa and Southeast Asia and all hunting endeavors on land, globally.

Current biodiversity assessments (Millennium Ecosystem Assessment, IUCN Red List, and the Global Environmental and Biodiversity Outlook) now generally agree that land use change, modification of river flow, freshwater pollution, and exploitation of marine environments are the most significant drivers of biodiversity change and loss of species. Eventually, ocean acidification and climate change will become increasingly important. With overharvesting sea life in our oceans and raising livestock on land (grazing or CAFOs [factory farms]), our demand to eat animals and animal products remains the largest contributing anthropogenic factor to those accepted drivers of loss of species on Earth.

Let’s eat plants, not animals, and inspire others to do the same.

RICHARD OPPENLANDER

Dr. Richard Oppenlander is a researcher who studies the effects of food choices on health and environment. A dentist by day, he lectures about how animal agriculture is the biggest driver of global depletion and talks about solutions we can implement. He has written Comfortably Unaware and Food Choice And Sustainability, both flowing books with a wealth of scientific back up about how our food choices affect our land, oceans, water, air, soil, health. A copy of both books resides in my local public library ready to be read. And yours?

If you wish to share your story, please hit reply in your email program to be contacted.

If you need habit help, go to warriorsofweight-consulting.

FEEDBACK

We value your feedback very much.

Please leave a comment below.

Please LIKE us on the website and at

WarriorsOfWeight on Facebook.

You can also follow us on Twitter @warriorsoweight.

Thanks.

DIANE GOLD, PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition in certificate course, peaceful conflict resolution and habit replacement.

She is so pleased to bring Richard Oppenlander. She says,

“Richard brings with him the honesty to speak about what we eat and how these choices affect our planet. He is always interested in the truth, and, at the same time, cares about the lives of animals. He offers the idea that becoming moderate will not work because we won’t be able to change our climate and our planet in time if we take our time. His message is clear, and that is to stop eating animals, fish, fowl, dairy and eggs.

“I second that, since I think it is the right way to live.

“And, finally, let us all take good care of ourselves, because we are so worth it!”

6 WAYS TO BE MORE PRODUCTIVE AND LOVE IT MORE (ISSUE 162) JANUARY 20, 2015

By Diane Gold

To be more productive and love it more, (1), because we actually will be making a critical difference and (2), because we will be having a great time doing it, is a common aspiration. Who can make that happen, though? There are so many compromises and lots of complicated layers to everything.

True, life is multifaceted, but we can set ourselves on a path of productivity, combined with one of ethical action and awesome happiness. To follow are 6 distinct ways we can do this, any one of which may enhance our lives. We are all unique and worthy. Loving what we are doing is part of it. Contributing through productivity is another.

1) MANAGE A PROJECT

Let’s say we wish to manage a project, but no one has assigned us this role. We can create our own project so that we create our own role as project manager. This can be done as part of what we do for our daily livelihood or as our own personal project. It can be for 1 minute a day. Everyone has that much time. It can also be for an hour.

In doing so, we feel satisfied that we have begun a project. Our actions lead to experience in the particular area of our project which lead us to being more productive as we become more familiar and thus more efficient at the project process. We engulf ourselves in work we love because it is our project. If we work for someone else and that someone else finds out about the project, that someone may get to see our project management skill. If we work for ourselves, we accomplish something directly related to our own passion or objective.

2) TAKE A CLASS

No matter what we are doing in our lives, taking a class makes us more productive. We will be around someone else who is passionate about the particular subject which excites us, raises our focus, raises perceived value on the competition grid of industry and usually makes us happy. One of the biggest reasons we get happy is that, during the interval of time when we are studying, whether online or onsite; we are not washing dishes – our own or someone else’s; we are not thinking about daily living items such as finance, relationship and we are in a different mental environment. We are increasing our ability to focus, and we are drinking from the well of knowledge that exists in the classroom. Learning new material about our subject may also enhance our livelihood. This spans courses from janitorial techniques to peaceful conflict resolution role playing to executive training on how to choose a productive team member more efficiently.

If we work for ourselves, we will branch out in course knowledge for ourselves or our business. If we work in the hierarchy of a company, we will bring more to the table and see the job that we do with new eyes.

3) COOK OR RAW A NEW MEAL

When we make our own food, we are caring for ourselves. We get to create nutritious art plus we get to make ourselves healthy by choosing ingredients that include vitamins, minerals, nutrients and phytonutrients that fortify us from harm and make us strong.

Making this meal, we have a chance to be super productive by choosing to use ingredients that have been sustainably grown with no pesticides, herbicides, fungicides or genetic engineering; without rainforest destruction, without soil depletion, without using excessive land or water, without human exploitation for labor, without taking an animal’s life.

4) USE A VIDEO CAM, MIRROR AND VOICE RECORDER

Whether we are working on self-esteem or want to gain more from the way we sound; the camera and the mirror always help us see ourselves as others see us. The voice recorder allows us to hear what we sound like. We can go to the webcam or the mirror once a day and tell ourselves how amazing we are. We can start by saying,

“I’m wonderful. I’m kind. I’m happy. I’m helpful. I’m hopeful. I love my life. I love where I live. I love my team. I love the animals in my house. I love my town. I love you. I love myself. Thank you, self, for being who you are.”

But any words can be used. As long as we’re consistent, we’ll get great at it.

If we’re using the webcam, we might also get proficient at making videos for family greeting cards or making videos for marketing our product or service. If not, and, if possible, let us record what we say so we can hear our great message to ourselves.

Here’s a sample video of a young girl doing it some 5 years ago: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg

5) MEDITATE, DANCE OR RUN

There are a few choices when choosing to meditate. They fall into the category of moving or not moving as in doing tai chi or sitting in the corner.

Dance comes in many styles. We all like a different one.

Running can mean in place or moving distance. We can do it in place, on a track or on the street.

These methods all have one thing in common. Meditating, dancing, running all teach focus. This means grabbing the mind so that we control what it does. The better we get at this, the more time we’ll have because we won’t be thinking about a different task as we are doing our initial task. This makes us more productive.

These activities also recharge us so we can be fabulous and productive in anything we do. All we need is 1 minute a day to succeed. To meditate, we can stand with knees slightly bent, feet shoulder width apart, butt tucked. For dancing and running, we can pick our favorite style, as long as we are moving the body nicely. For all three, we can watch the breath we breathe in and the breathe we breathe out. All we need is 15-60 seconds.

6) ENOUGH REST

This one seems easy. Because we have such full days, we sometimes tend to overdo it before settling down to sleep. At these times, we might find we have not left enough sleep time to feel rested and awesome for our next day.

A quick trick that can give us enough rest if we should awaken and need more sleep, is to do one single liquid-like tai chi movement for 30 seconds, focusing the attention on the center in front of us. This exercise will make us feel as if we have just napped. I have even experienced the feeling that I have taken a 5 hour nap from one small tai chi experience.

When we have enough sleep, negative attitudes disappear; and we are in better condition to produce and love it.

CONCLUSION

Our 6 ways to be more productive (and love it) are action steps in themselves. They create a type of clarity through focus and self-nurturing that develops drive which causes productivity which leads to enjoyment and satisfaction. Simple steps, all less than a minute.

Here’s the review of the ACTION STEPS:

1) CREATE A PROJECT to manage and complete.

2) TAKE A CLASS in something to self-enhance.

3) COOK OR RAW A NEW MEAL for power, purpose and health.

4) SPEAK TO YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR OR WEBCAM for 15-30 seconds/day.

5) MEDITATE (standing or sitting with straight back), DANCE OR RUN, focusing on our breath.

6) REST ENOUGH.

If you wish to share your story, please hit reply in your email program to be contacted.

If you need habit help, go to warriorsofweight-consulting.

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FEEDBACK

We value your feedback very much.

Please leave a comment below.

Please LIKE us on the website and at

WarriorsOfWeight on Facebook.

You can also follow us on Twitter @warriorsoweight.

Thanks.

DIANE GOLD, PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition in certificate course, peaceful conflict resolution and habit replacement.

She is grateful to be focused. She says,

“If we take on what we want someone else to give us, we will get our wish without waiting, and we will gain experience. If we take on a project that we have interest in, we will be fulfilling a dream. Either of these actions make us productive, the acts themselves as well as attitudes about them. They also make us love the productivity. And all we need is a minute a day. So, let’s begin.

“Finally, let us all take good care of ourselves because we are so worth it!”

MAKING A DIFFERENCE (ISSUE 160) JANUARY 6, 2015

By Diane Gold

Making a difference is certainly subjective. There’s no disputing, though, that every move we make changes something. While one person might plant spices to get personal produce, someone else might be a mentor in a literacy program and another someone else might create a way to keep food stored more efficiently. Yet another person might be the clerk in a grocery store or someone’s car washer.

Everyone makes a difference. We each define how we will make that difference during the time that we have on this earth.

Here’s my list for 2015. I know that if I say it out loud to all of you, not only will I be transparent and committed out loud, but all of you will help me achieve these things on which I am working. And I always say pick one target, focus, goal. These are all part of the same goal, which is to educate on what we eat, deplete and wear to motivate replacement of old habits.

1) INCREASING FOOD LABELING AWARENESS

Food labeling is big, because, in order to notice what we eat, we have to know what’s in and on our food. And, our regulating agency, the Food & Drug Administration, has a slow and archaic way of labeling so that most of us don’t know what’s in and on our food. The chemical name for an ingredient doesn’t tell us if it is derived from animal, plant, microbe or a synthetic substance, and, wax coatings on produce don’t have a requirement to be as specific as I would like.

My way of making a difference with regard to food labeling is to continue calling retailers, wholesalers, produce finishers and the FDA to talk about better labeling. I will also call my senator and chat.

2) USING FABRIC FROM SOURCES THAT ARE SUSTAINABLE

Recently, after interviewing my friend, Danielle, I realized that I have not been conscious of the sources of my clothing. I always buy cotton day-to-day clothes because I want the fabric to be porous, which, I know, is good for my skin. I just learned that most cotton is genetically modified. Oy! So, my goal is to buy fabrics that are organic cotton or bamboo or hemp which grow back quickly. I’ll look around for good sources and spread the word.

3) SPREADING THE WORD ABOUT WHAT WE ARE DEPLETING

One of the most important things to me is to make certain people realize that every time we make a choice, we effect something. This includes the space in which we live, the air we breathe, the water we need, our forests and jungles and the other creatures with whom we share the planet. When we farm animals, we are using their lives at our whim. Plus, if all we care about is human advantage, animal agriculture depletes more resources than anything else. So we are not protecting our own interests.

It’s our responsibility to make better choices and more knowledge driven choices.

BONUS) COMPILING A LIST OF COMPANIES THAT ARE RUNNING SUSTAINABLY AND WHOSE PROFIT IS MADE THROUGH THE SALE OF SUSTAINABLE PRODUCTS AND SERVICES

This compilation is very important to me. I am not looking to list every company, individually, although that would be great. I want to make a list of, at least, one company in each category, so that we, the people, can start to use these companies and to see that it’s possible to make a difference through our buying, the type of educations we choose and our eating choices.

HELP ME BY SENDING ME THE NAMES OF ANY ORGANIZATIONS OF PRODUCTS AND SERVICES YOU KNOW THAT FIT INTO THIS CATEGORY. AND, IF YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO RUN OR WORKS AT ONE OF THESE ORGS,
PLEASE CONNECT US.

CONCLUSION

We all are making a difference every day with everything we do. Let’s make a concerted effort to shape the differences we make so that we:

(ACTION STEPS)

restore rainforests

clean up polluted lakes

provide sustainable food for all people

create a food production system where health & environment trump profit

actively pursue human rights

arrange health care for all people, regardless of their financial standing

provide for the elderly to live in dignity, regardless of income

use all our waste materials to produce new goods like shoes and fuel

compost and recycle daily (and have mandatory laws like San Francisco does)

require tai chi, meditation, kung fu and conflict resolution training in school systems beginning at age 5 to cause peaceful social behavior throughout life

require every school through high school to have music, art, physical education programs to advance creativity and sensitivity

cause a criminal justice system to evolve that is not based on revenge

purchase responsibly

run corporations, societies and universities with safe and healthy delivery of all goods, services and their production where providing for society trumps profit motive (with each entity generating healthy profits)

clean up after our sisters and brothers, even if we get no financial gain

___

Finally, some of us think it’s a joke that we don’t recycle, that we eat without concern for animal welfare or our own health, that we collect toys that are not sustainable. Thinking we are cool or have the right is not cool and not a joke. Each of our actions matters. We, not only, are involved in making a difference; we always make a difference. Let’s bow to the mistakes we have made through our education, industry and technology, and let’s adjust our mind set in light of our knowledge as of January 1, 2015 to be conscious of making a difference in a way we admire.

I wish us all love. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GGRjxSJF4M.

If you wish to share your story, please hit reply in your email program to be contacted.

If you need habit help, go to warriorsofweight-consulting.

FEEDBACK

We value your feedback very much.

Please leave a comment below.

Please LIKE us on the website and at

WarriorsOfWeight on Facebook.

You can also follow us on Twitter: @warriorsoweight.

Thanks.

DIANE GOLD, PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition, peaceful conflict resolution and habit replacement.

She is grateful to be writing these words. She says,

“It’s true, we are making a difference all the time. How many times a day are we living our truth as we make that difference? HopefulIy, it’s many times a day. Hopefully we are making good food choices, using less plastic, using less water, being creative, becoming still daily, forgiving our aggressors, getting educated daily.

“Whether we focus on it or not, we matter. What we do matters. What resources we use matter, including using other creatures, both human and animal, to do it.

“Let’s tighten up our ship so that our planet sustains, so that our oceans aren’t toxic for our grandkids, so that everyone has health care, hygiene and a decent standard of living. Let’s create the luck that we surely have if we have enough freedom and health to read this. Let’s act as if all children are our children. Because they are.

“Finally, let us all take good care of ourselves because we are so worth it!”

THE SECRET OF HABIT CHANGE IS TO STEP (ISSUE 157) DECEMBER 9, 2014

By Diane Gold

The secret of habit change is to step. No one’s saying it’s easy. I am saying it’s not complex. I don’t care how many times we’ve heard the idea that we have to believe in ourselves to motivate or have a positive mental attitude to get it done; it’s just not true. It may be an easier road, but that may not be our reality. And, once we step; we will believe and motivate.

EASY MOTIVATION

It’s easy to walk through the tunnel when there’s money waiting for us at the other end.

It’s easier to get started when we have a partner with which to work or a coach screaming,

“Let’s go, let’s go,”

in our face.

It’s pretty simple to take a positive step when our world is balanced and clean.
But, these conditions are not necessary.

NOT SO EASY MOTIVATION

On the other hand, It may not be so easy to take a step different from the one we have the habit of doing should this habit be huge and not supportive of what we are doing. Definitely, we automatically think it’s not easy.

It’s not so easy to make a change when we are in pain of any sort is present since pain diminishes power in each of us.

It’s not so easy to walk in a new direction when everyone else is walking the other way.

It’s not easy to step when we are tired. And if we have been working on replacing a habit for a long time, the energy we have consumed in thinking about it and doing things about it can make us very tired.

And, it’s not so easy when most people tell us we have to endure some multi-step process that is more than one step. One step is hard enough.

THE SECRET REALITY

The secret reality is that we can take a step even when:

1) we have no motivation to self-change,
2) we don’t believe in ourselves,
3) we have no personal balance,
4) we are in pain,
5) we cannot find joy in our lives.

Look at these examples of how people use other focii to get them to take a step, proving the 5 conditions are not necessary.

1) Military and religious personnel commonly refrain from cigarettes, the object of their addiction, during training runs or services.

2) Many religious practitioners in addictive behaviors refrain from their addiction on their Sabbath day, because they place a higher value on their God belief system than they do on their body’s need for a substance or activity. Many people in addictive behaviors refrain from their addiction for a few hours of church time, valuing the God system over the addictive reward.

(Unfortunately, there are some people in addictive behaviors who do not refrain on the Sabbath day but value a God belief system second. Most God belief systems include guilt for not valuing the belief system more than the object of addiction. Therefore, this scenario means guilt fits into the particular equation.)

3) Some clinical trials have had participants delay using their object of addiction in trade for a future reward of a possible heightened amount of their substance of choice or getting a small amount of money.

There was one such clinical trial in which trial participants were given a choice: abstaining for a longer period of time than others with the promise of a chance of getting more of their object of addiction at the end of the daily protocol. This meant the participants might not get the enhanced amount of their object. Even so, most chose abstaining longer with the chance of receiving the enhanced amount of stimulation.

CONCLUSION

Motivation to change, self-belief, balance, pain and joy do not enter into these scenarios. Commitment to military protocol or a belief system has caused people to delay the object of addiction. More comfortable living conditions have caused people to delay getting the object of addiction. And finally, the concept of the thrill of receiving an increased amount of the object of addiction was an excellent motivator.

The big picture is that the secret of habit change is to step, make that move, move the foot over the line. That’s what it takes. Only to step! That is the secret.

It must be done with expediency since we only have a short time to step. Otherwise our old behavior will surface, and we will get lost in it. I can hear the quiz show music where the clock is counting down. I couldn’t have pictured that when I was in the middle of struggling to replace a habit, since I would have been busy with my urges. All I could do was step. That’s all anyone has to do.

Let the secret of habit change out in the open. Just step!

ACTION STEP

There is only 1 action to be taken. Within 5 to 15 seconds of receiving the urge to take the action that usually gets you to your object of addiction, step. Even if you take 1 step in the direction away from the door that holds the object of addiction and then run right back to your object of addiction; that can be considered a successful step. Maybe tomorrow you will take one step. And then another, before you run back to your object of addiction. This, too, is a success. There Is Only 1 Action: Step!

Please consider these words. Any 1 step in a new direction is a success. Rome was not built in a day. Your habit was not built in a day. Be patient. But step. To change a behavior, always take 1 step in a new direction from your old one. Until you’ve done that, don’t worry what’s next.

If you wish to share your story, please hit reply in your email program to be contacted.

If you need habit help, go to WarriorsOfWeight Consulting.

FEEDBACK

We value your feedback very much.

Please leave a comment below.

Please LIKE us on the website and at

WarriorsOfWeight on Facebook.

You can also follow us on Twitter: @warriorsoweight.

Thanks.

DIANE GOLD, PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition, peaceful conflict resolution and habit replacement.

She has looked at what worked for her. She says,

“Without immediate action, I do my habit, whatever that habit is. If I act, in any direction other than the habitual one, I begin creating my new habit. The next time I feel my urge, I will be experienced at taking immediate action and may walk further in any direction other the habitual one. As I cement my new habit through repetition and consistency, I will continue using the new direction.

As I see it, it is not important to process whether I like the new direction for, at least, six months. In fact, it is important to choose not to consider whether the new direction is right for, at least, three. This way, I give myself a chance to take a step.”

“Finally, let us all take good care of ourselves because we are so worth it!”

A SIMPLE BEHAVIOR CHANGE STRATEGY (ISSUE 156) DECEMBER 2, 2014

By Diane Gold

A new behavior change strategy is always a good thing to have in one’s basket of tricks. Making one, immediate, small change in our habitual behavior is the key to making it happen.

We all have habits. They develop when we do something over and over again driven by some type of urge: whether it came from our own psycho-physical ¬with no external stimulus or if something outside us, from a smell, a taste, a sound, a touch, triggered an urge. We get good at repeating the same behavior over and over again, and then it becomes second nature.

Now, it’s a habit.

THE URGE THAT BEGINS FROM INSIDE US

So, we might be minding our own business, and all of a sudden, we will want to drink alcohol, go dancing, eat ice cream or go running. We get the urge to do these behaviors from ourselves. Some of them may be good. Others, not good for our mental or physical health.

THE URGE TRIGGERED BY OUR SENSES

There is the external urge that arrives when a sense triggers the urge. The urge involves the same behaviors but in a slightly different way. We might be in a restaurant, smell the alcohol in someone else’s glass and want to drink. We might hear music and want to go dance. We might view someone’s eating an ice cream cone and immediately want one.

B. J. FOGG’S TAKE

This external stimulus idea works in a different way, too. We can cause our senses to become activate by positioning objects, like running shoes or dental floss, so that the viewing of the objects, themselves, creates a trigger.

As B.J. Fogg, PH.D., puts it,

“The number one mistake people make is not going tiny enough,”

referring to doing a small behavior as the entire goal, not a big, complicated one. He adds,

“Just put your running shoes on,”

meaning the goal is to put on the shoes, not to go running.

He’s referring to people’s thinking about cultivating the habit of running which involves putting on running shoes, figuring out the technique by which to run and going out and doing the running. That’s very complicated compared to starting with the tiny step of just putting the running shoes on for 5 days. Just placing the shoes on develops a habit that is not multifaceted. An effective way to trigger this behavior is to place the running shoes exactly on the path where we will step on them when we get out of bed. This way, we will see the shoes and remember to put them on.

In the same way, Fogg suggests that people who want to create the habit of flossing their teeth should begin by flossing 1 tooth only. We can do one tooth whereas we might be too lazy to do our whole mouth. This may lead to flossing 2 teeth, but the goal is 1 tooth first.

PUBLISHER’S NOTE

When I was actively replacing my habit of drinking alcohol, I actively chose to spend my time doing things in places that did not serve alcohol or with people who were not drinking it. It was specifically to avoid smelling the alcohol or seeing people’s drinking it.

I remember very long ago when I was much younger, when I chose to quit smoking cigarettes. My strategy was similar in that I chose not to be around the smell of smoke so as not to trigger my desire for it.

Part of the process of developing behaviors that replaced drinking alcohol was to develop a behavior of being able to be around it.

Part of the process of developing behaviors to replace smoking cigarettes was to develop the ability to smell the cigarette smoke without having to smoke. Typical of someone who is extreme, I raised my children to avoid people who were smoking cigarettes. We crossed to the other side of the street to avoid it. I still do it to avoid its smell on my clothes. Very strangely, although I think smoking is gross and slovenly and I don’t like being around it, I can still recall the chemical buzz I received from the actual smoking.

OUR TIME DEADLINE

So, how much time do we have from the time an urge kicks in from inside us? And what about urges caused by outside stimuli?

The answer is It Depends Upon The Strength Of The Urge. If we have chosen to replace our behavior of drinking alcohol, doing drugs or going gambling, all behaviors that we have decided do not support our lives, we have, as I see it, between 5 and 15 seconds to do a new behavior before we do our old behavior and drink, drug or gamble.

If every time we pass the same restaurant that has alcohol, we also have 5 to 15 seconds to veer away from the restaurant to avoid going in and drinking. If every time we pass the aromatherapy store, we go in and have a whiff; we still have between 5 and 15 seconds to change this behavior. However, that particular habit seems to be one that calms the mind and heart and sounds like a good habit and may want to be continued.

THE STRATEGY AKA THE ACTION STEP

Here is a simple action step that can be taken as soon as an urge is felt. It does require that we carry our tools with us. But that’s easy.

Taking the step, that is, doing the new behavior, will change what we smell which may dissipate the urge. It will change what we taste, which supports the change in smell. We also have to focus our eyes on the behavior so that we can execute it properly. We will hear what we are doing which will complement the taste, smell and sight. And, finally, we will be touching the tools for the strategy. That’s using all 5 senses.

So, what is this simple strategy? It requires 2 things and a little water would be nice. They are a toothbrush and toothpaste, which we can be carried portably. Brushing the teeth when an urge strikes will change our smell, taste, view, sound and touch.

When we taste a new taste, very often, we replace our previous desire for food or drink. When we get busy doing this behavior, we will be focused on it for a moment and may distract ourselves long enough to call a friend, drink water or stretch our bodies. These additional behaviors support our brushing our teeth to replace our old behavior.

Please let us know how this behavior change strategy works. It has worked for me and for many others. Of course, we need a support network and this strategy. But this is an instant action step that may be of use in many circumstances.

If you wish to share your story, please hit reply in your email program to be contacted.

If you need habit help, go to WarriorsOfWeight Consulting.

FEEDBACK

We value your feedback very much.

Please leave a comment below.

Please LIKE us on the website and at

WarriorsOfWeight on Facebook.

You can also follow us on Twitter: @warriorsoweight.

Thanks.

DIANE GOLD, PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition, peaceful conflict resolution and habit replacement.

She loves to talk about habits. She says,

“The way to achieve greatness is by taking 1 step. That way, that one step can be majestic. If we take 2 or more steps, our attention is split. That’s why 1 step is the way.

“When we choose behavior change, it may not work, at first. This is because it takes time to develop the new behavior. It took time for our old behavior to become second-nature. We are developing this in the new behavior.

“There is always room for one more strategy. Let’s see whether this one is the best one yet.

“Finally, let us all take good care of ourselves because we are so worth it!”

WARRIORSOFWEIGHT.COM WATER CAMPAIGN FOR THANKSGIVIING (ISSUE 155) NOVEMBER 18, 2014

By Diane Gold

WarriorsofWeight.com Water Campaign For Thanksgiving is a mission to build a well for 500-1,000 people to give them access to a clean water supply for 10 years, without using our hard earned money.

It is my hope that some of the community members who receive water access by well will learn how to construct a well and help others.

Here is how simple our part is:

Choose not to buy outside coffees on the way to work, teas at lunchtime, juices at snack time for a TWO WEEK PERIOD. Calculate the money saved, which averages out to $20. Then, gift the $20 in savings to fund the well. Click on the red donate button HERE. Of course, each of us can give less or more, but, at least, we will build a well together.

BORDERLINES

Can we look at it this way? Each of us, in whatever countries we are, has chosen to build water systems around borderlines, within the boundaries of our own country or union of countries. This is how we’ve always done it. We take care of our own. It doesn’t mean this is the way to continue to do it, should we choose to think of everyone as our own.

When we give a helping hand to our blood sister, our step-sister, our half-sister, our ethnic sister; it is considered normal. Let’s make it normal to give to our non-biological sister, our non-ethnic sister, both next door or 8,000 miles away.

CONCLUSION

The Water Project method of collecting money is cool. Let’s choose a little restraint so that our sisters and brothers can have some water. Once we do, we will realize that sacrificing (or choosing to refrain) is a way of celebrating water. What we might have imagined would be a strain turns out to be a radical way to pull out our strength and goodness and to provide water for life to others. For a tiny effort on our part, we can do this. Let’ go now, and CHOOSE TO DO IT HERE.

ACTION STEPS

1) Decide what drinks can be replaced by water for the 2 week period.

2) Set the start and end date.

3) Tell a friend or email us when you will start drinking water and saving the money.

4) Start doing it.

5) Send the money you saved by clicking the red donate button HERE.

6) Tell a friend or email us that you have completed the project.

THANK YOU for choosing to give what you did not spend. We will BUILD A WELL TOGETHER.

If you wish to share your story, please hit reply in your email program to be contacted.

If you need habit help, go to https://warriorsofweight.com/warriorsofweight-consulting.

FEEDBACK

We value your feedback very much.

Please leave a comment below.

Please LIKE us on the website at:

and on Facebook.

You can also follow us on Twitter @warriorsoweight.

Thanks.

DIANE GOLD, PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition, peaceful conflict resolution and habit replacement.

She cares about health, happiness and peace. She says,

“I would like to build, at least, one well. Yes, I would like to teach people in countries where water access is limited how to build a well; but, first, I would like them to have enough water so that they don’t dehydrate. Especially the kids.

“S/he who dies with the most toys does not win. Further, s/he who purchases the most mocha lattes per week could help us with our mission.

“Can we all get together and fund the building of a well by choosing to change our behavior of buying coffee, tea, juice during our day, just for 2 weeks? And collecting the money we would have spent and donating it? That way, no one is really using extra personal funds. We just redirecting them for a short, manageable time.

“We can do it. Together. Happy Thanks(For)Giving.”

BE SOMEONE’S VITAMIN: HOW KINDNESS CAN SAVE US (ISSUE 154) NOVEMBER 11, 2014

By Diane Gold

Be someone’s vitamin and let kindness save us from our every day habit of rushing. What if we spared one minute for someone else? And what if we started to do this on a daily basis?

We are all in the habit of racing here, running there. We don’t have time now because we are working, creating, inflating our egos, deflating someone else’s, filling our pockets, filling our minds with study and research, investigating, gathering, expanding, saying our last goodbye, saying our first hello.

There’s always something going on. We are fortunate to have so many choices.

What if we decided to spare one minute on a regular basis to show kindness to someone? If asked to do it, most of us would say,

“Of course. Yes. Count me in,”

when it is put that way. However, before the kindness elf comes to our doorstep and asks us to show kindness, we are off in our whirlwind world. We would not think of interrupting our daily rush for any such thing. Add another thing to our daily grind?

“Not a chance. Impossible. Couldn’t manage it,”

we might say, when it’s put that way.

THE TWO-WAY DIFFERENCE

Let’s look from a different perspective. What if we needed someone’s time that would mean the difference between life and death: help making a decision about how worthwhile our life was or help deciding whether or not to leave on a round-the-world cruise when the seasick medicine didn’t work from the start or help evaluating a crucial decision in the life of our child.

I don’t mean to be dramatic, but taking one minute of time out for kindness can make a difference, in both directions, that is, huge for the person who receives (and needs the minute to receive some type of support) and huge for the person who gives (and can use the minute for personal balance while supplying an offering).

GOOD FORTUNE

So many of us who are reading this now have been dealt a good hand in life. We can read, we have internet connectivity (or a friend who printed this out), and we are choosing to read information that is thought-provoking, opinion-stimulating and delivers info on socially justice.
So, let’s use our good fortune in a way that helps someone other than ourselves.

WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME?

As with so many things, we ask what the personal benefit is. It’s nice that we can use the standard, if not overused, buzzwords,

“I’m giving back. I’m paying it forward.”

But the big picture shows that we are more highly motivated to act if there is some benefit to our sphere of influence – such as our family, friends, our projects and ourselves, rather than just knowing that we gave. The feeling of giving is superb, no matter to whom we give. But the inspiration necessary for us to actually take the kind act in the first place is often tied to the personal benefit that results from what’s in it for me.

So, what is in it for me? And what did I mean by the idea that the giver gets?

The answer to this really boils down to how open we choose to be. At the starting line, when we are about to be a giver; we might think,

“OK, here I go giving. I couldn’t possibly get anything out of this other than good public image points for my business, a merit plaque to feel good about and personal satisfaction.”

Now, each of these benefits is enough, on its own, to drive someone to give:

When we are doing the act of giving, we have slowed down and stopped our rushing.

We are giving, at least, one moment’s thought to the beneficiary of our gift of kindness.

Chances are we are taking another moment out to realize our good fortune.

These small moments of reflection – where we stop the rushing – are enough to balance our heart rate, our blood and our daily routine.

When we are the recipient of a kindness, not only do we receive something; we also take a moment out to be grateful. This moment is of tremendous benefit and allows for similar body balancing as in the giver.

HOW TO SHOW KINDNESS

So, let’s drill down about various ways to show kindness. There is never a shortage of need. Here are some things we can do to begin.

1) REFRAIN FROM SHOWING DISDAIN TO SOMEONE OF LESS FORTUNE.

How many times have we laughed to ourselves or supported someone else’s joke about a “have not” (a person who does not have possessions) sleeping outside or someone’s driving a less than shiny, new car? It’s not that we might be in those shoes one day that is a reason to refrain; it’s about being kind. Of course, we could become jobless, with no supportive family, no possessions, no access to money, in a heartbeat. This is not the point. The point is to cultivate the difference between right and wrong. Kindness is right. Meanness is wrong. Also, there are some scientifically measured studies that say that the universe has a consciousness that can be positively affected by being kind.

2) BE SOMEONE’S VITAMIN.

Take the time to say hello to someone who lives outside or who looks unhappy and could use a smile. This nourishes like a vitamin. I would suggest doing this in public during daylight hours, so there is no chance you will become a victim for your kindness. Many people thrive on that one smile or that one kind word. One kind hello probably takes less than 5 seconds. That would leave 86,370 seconds more in the day. Can we spare it? Even if we took an entire minute to show human decency to someone, that would leave 1439 and a half other minutes in our day.

If we wish to be completely safe and within the company of others when we reach out and give our hello, there are soup kitchens, literacy programs, big sister/big brother programs. And almost every public school around can pair the interest of various students with our fields of expertise.

A good example of a mentoring program is The Young Storytellers Foundation, in Los Angeles and New York, that allows a young storyteller to be mentored in the creative process of writing a script. Upon completion, the student’s script is acted out by professional volunteers as the student and mentor excitedly watch. This type of program involves the mentor in work s/he loves and involves the mentee in work s/he aspires to do.

3) BE SOMEONE’S BANKER.

It’s always appreciated when we give money. However, we rob ourselves of the benefit to stop the rush, as the donation we give usually requires us to push a button the midst of other buttons we are already pushing. Or the give may be accomplished by delegating our assistant to take care of it. This type of gift is not nothing. It doesn’t use as much of ourselves, though. And, it’s always good to save our lives during whatever it is we do.

CONCLUSION

It’s great to be kind. And kindness can save our lives from the stress associated with rushing. Not much else can do this in such an easy (yet secret) way. We go, and we go, and we go and we go some more. And I’m all for being as pro-active a person as possible. This, in itself, improves our health. But there are times in each of our days when we would do well to take a break, re-orient, rejuvenate, re-energize. A great way to do this is through kindness.

ACTION STEPS

1) Commit to speaking to someone who is on your path that looks as if s/he could use a smile. Do this for one week, and decide if it belongs in your life. If speaking is difficult or not appropriate for you, offer an organic snack to some person as a gesture of human worth.

If speaking is easy, treat chosen recipient on your level, rather than as a person in need.

2) Commit to forgive one person per day, including yourself. That could mean during road rage, when someone insults you, or when someone steps on your toe while being self-absorbed.

3) Commit one month or two to mentor as a visiting big sister or brother. This way, you can try, out the waters, and your younger sister or brother will know you are only there for a short time. This is important, since, often, people who are recipients in the big sister/big brother program are usually used to their program siblings’ and even their true family members’ getting up and leaving without support.

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DIANE GOLD, PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition, peaceful conflict resolution and habit replacement.

She looks at doing for others as part of the day. She says,

“When we think about it, the DNA we have is mostly the same as the DNA everyone else has. So, when we speak about kindness, we could think of it as caring for a family member. I know that’s a little out there. Yet, what’s really close to home is the fact that we enjoy benefiting ourselves. And showing kindness to others does just that.

“Whether we get personal satisfaction from giving or we look good in the society pages, we get something. And when we look closely, we also get an opportunity to balance out our blood pressure, our heart rate, our minds as we take that moment to give.

“So, take the leap. Be someone’s vitamin. We can’t be hurt by it. And we can save ourselves in the process, by actually making a change in our biology. There’s no time like the present and no time to wait.

“Do it now. It’s fun.

“Finally, let us all take good care of ourselves because we are so worth it!”