PEACE NEEDS A BRIDGE: HOW TO BUILD IT AND KEEP IT OPEN (ISSUE 67)

By Diane Gold

Peace Needs A Bridge! Not a new concept, but 1 whose time has come. Again.

In November, 1969, I ended up going to the Palm Beach Pop Music Festival, a glorious lifetime game changer of 3 cold, wet and muddy days where I saw Janis Joplin, The Rolling Stones, Iron Butterfly and a host of other musicians, friends, action. Yes, they were singing about peace and what was wrong with our time with our presence in Vietnam very much on our minds. We wore tie dyed t-shirts, flowers in our hair, peace signs on our clothing and marched for various freedoms which are now common place.

Present day in the two thousand teens, many people see the need to work toward curbing human anguish, violence, bullying, not unlike the sentiments of my youth. Because we are technically far ahead of that time and live within a speedway of information submission and retrieval, these issues are much more complicated.

In order to enable human beings to take action in any era, they must be motivated beyond apathy, other driving motivators and the urge to relax and let someone else do it. When it comes to peace, there are lots of organizations that talk about peace.

But what really gets done, and what needs to get done for peace to exist?

BUILDING THE BRIDGE

Most of us would prefer to have peaceful dealings than to have conflict, although I remember Robin Williams’ role as a man in a heaven where there was no fighting, and there was only peace (What Dreams Are Made Of). Some say conflict makes it interesting and saves us from boredom. Those who have experienced war and many others of us would opt for its end.

SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW THAT DOESN’T WORK?

INTELLECTUAL PURSUITS

We have all listened to lectures, read some article, report, paper or book justifying the need for peace. Although these intellectual pursuits are impressive, they are not exciting enough to make us get involved enough to empower a movement. Most of the time, we do not move because most of what we hear and read is dry and does not create that exponentially growing enthusiasm we require to take a committed step.

Although empassioned about their projects, lecturers usually deliver their information without humor, pizazz and charisma. Their material may be brilliant, but it usually doesn’t drive the masses to action. Think of how many seminars you have attended where the material is interesting but nothing happens as a result. It enhances our intellect and makes us feel intelligent but doesn’t stimulate our action gene enough so that we take a step.

AGGRESSION

Aggressive behavior involves fighting, yelling, anger and conflict resolution that usually ends in violence. We, as civilized people, accomplish temporary territorial expansion, human rights as we see them at the time of issue and winning a struggle of will until the next powerful wave of fellow humans decides there is a need for change. Not a great show of modern civilization.

(I am in deep gratitude to our military fighters who protect our children, our way of life, our freedoms. At this time, there is need for such military strength. Will this always be our nature, or can we evolve?

I believe in our ability to build a bridge to peace.

FIRE UNDER OUR BOTTOMS

It’s because of the pizazz in some of us, often celebrities, that the others of us are sparked to take action.

Think of Oprah Winfrey’s asking her followers to pledge a $10 donation texting to a 5 digit code on our cell phones to support orphans in a war zone. We react to this appeal almost on auto pilot to contribute. Why? Because her charisma gets us movin’ and shakin’.

You may remember USA For Africa, a collaboration of many musicians, and their single, first to go multi-platinum, We Are The World, and the subsequent album which raised over $64 million in sales toward African famine in 1985. The musicians were the draw, and they pulled us right along with them: to buy their song, to enjoy the multitude of fine musicians, producers and promoters, to spread the word about saving Africa, to believe in its message.

SO, WHAT CAN WE DO THAT BUILDS THE PEACE BRIDGE, THAT’S MORE PRODUCTIVE AND LEADS US IN THAT HARMONIOUS DIRECTION NOW?

All of us want peace of some sort. But what are we willing to agree upon? All of us are interested in the “what’s in it for me” concept, such as,

“I want to live in a peaceful neighborhood, but I’m not willing to let the homeless live here,”

or

“Why can’t we all get along, but I’m not sharing my land with anyone because I worked hard for it.”

Some of us are leaders; some of us are followers. Some of us get inspired by a single leader, and some of us spread that message, ourselves.

Since we all like to be entertained and we get involved by celebrity messages, let’s continue to use entertainment to make sparks fly. It’s sexy, creative, diverse, instantaneous. We become instantly involved when we hear a song that we like or see art that is beautiful.

THE SECRET

All we need is a system that gives us somewhere to put the enthusiasm created by the entertainment so that we can change ourselves and act in and for peace, a network of accountability.

ACTION STEPS

While we are creating such a system, I see a very definite direction in which to go to put building blocks into the construction of the peace bridge. They are immediate.

1) START COMMUNICATING

Start talking to someone who has grown up in war. When they get inflammatory about their opposing tribe, don’t get inflammatory or judgmental. Work to understand this behavior.

Continue this discussion so that you learn the dynamics of reason in war, first-hand.

2) FIND PERFORMERS THAT FIRE YOU UP

Commit that you make it your goal to pick a performer that fires you up: a musician, a visual artist, an actor, a creator. Pick one who donates to a peace cause. Go to concerts of this performance troupe, either in person or online. Follow the network attached to this performer, and look into the organization that benefits from the donation.

Performers and creators didn’t get there because they aren’t interesting. So, chances are keeping abreast of this 1 person will keep you excited and you will be more likely to keep on this peace path. You might, one day, work side by side with your performer of choice. On the journey, you will be privy to that performers’ art.
__

Special note:

If you find that you are more interested in another cause, we must follow our hearts, so switch to that cause and stick with it.

3) NETWORK

Join a network that is all about getting people together for the purpose of creating new art, new music, new creativity for the sake of upgrading our peace, our resources, our human rights and downgrading our greed and our habits that cause us to be unhealthy.

4) 1 MINUTE A DAY

Commit to connecting with a peace organization, based upon your most pressing goal. Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Peace_organizations and pick one.

5) THE BRIDGE’S FOUNDATION STARTS WITH OUR OWN LIVES

In order to build a peace bridge, we have to work every day to rid ourselves of old ideas, old reactions, our own prejudices. How?

a) 1 time a day, be less controlling, more understanding, a better listener and a more tolerant person.
b) Tell a friend you did this.
c) If you really want to make peace, set up role playing peace talks at the local elementary school or community group. If our young aren’t given the opportunity to work on the process, they will learn our mistaken concepts. If our old don’t give it a whirl, we’ll be stuck.
d) If you really, really want to build the bridge, continue step a) until it becomes part of every day for a year.
e) Together, let’s create some peace cards that urge people to collaborate more than they confront.

CONCLUSION

Peace needs a bridge that we, individually and collectively, can build. Every day, we can choose to back away from our own need for power by submitting to listen to someone; we can build the bridge. When we act well, others see it and may make it part of their culture. When we yield, the more powerful we become. We may even release the anger that causes war.

This is a seemingly impossible task, but it is possible we use a consistent systematic approach on a daily basis, within and in the world. It means we have to give something of ourselves to make it happen. Could be false pride, could be our heart, could be land, which is the most difficult thing of all, it seems.

If we start now, we can build a more peaceful culture into the next generation and those to come. What do you think? Is it worth sacrificing our old ways?

 

FEEDBACK

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DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert, dedicated mom, studying plant-based nutrition.

She believes we can adjust our hostile ways. She says,

“When we yell at someone and that someone reacts in an understanding, non-angry way; we usually simmer down and become (more) reasonable.

“When we yell at someone and that someone yells back, we usually puff out our peacock feathers and yell twice as loud.

“Of the 2 scenarios, only the first 1 makes peace. Therefore, we, as humans, are half way there, already. We can work on the other half that stays peaceful in the face of adversity.”

FOOD CRAVINGS: HOW TO MAXIMIZE THEM FOR OUR GOOD HEALTH (ISSUE 60)

By Diane Gold

Before we talk about food cravings and how to maximize them for health, I’d like to say that this article is about FAITH, not faith in someone or something else, but faith in ourselves that we may not be able to see yet. It is similar to that faith that many people attribute to a supreme entity; yet, we are going to use faith in ourselves for this lesson.

I want to mention a video clip I saw this morning. It pictures a just-turned 4-year-old girl pumping herself up by speaking positive statements to herself in the mirror. Many call these daily affirmations, you know, the kind where we tell ourselves we are amazing, happy, talented as we watch our mouth in the mirror as we say the words. This act, many have demonstrated, solidifies our belief in how amazing, happy and talented we actually are.

So, here’s a little girl, Jessica, standing on the bathroom counter, looking into her bathroom mirror, saying, with enthusiasm and self-assuredness,

“I can do anything good. I like my school; I like my dad; I like my cousins; I like my aunt; … I like my mom; I like my sister; I like my haircut… I can do anything good; I can do anything.”

DEFINING CRAVINGS

Let’s define cravings, since we all have them. A craving is a strong desire, which we all have. Synonyms for cravings are appetite, which we all need to self-sustain, and yearning or yen. If we all used our appetite for health, we would all be in good shape. But, when we talk about food cravings, we are generally speaking about following our urges without using self-control.

CHARACTER TRAITS

Like any other habit, we can change the way we act once we get our cue, which, in this case, is the food craving. So, let’s examine what we cravers have in common, for the most part.

Here are the traits that usually accompany a food craving person.

1)  Our food craving is a special cue that demands immediate attention on our part.

2)  We enjoy pleasurable sensations. We may also be experiencing what used to be pleasurable and just going through the motions.

3)  We consider the pleasure from food more important than our own health, so we are strong- willed in that we do what we decide.

4)  We are risk takers, and, like the casino gambler, we bet that eating healthier foods and amounts tomorrow is reason enough for us to gamble with our health and maintain our same habits now.

5)  We believe that eating what we currently believe to be the best pleasurable food at the moment is not such a big thing.

What we don’t count on is that, if we do this for day after day, month after month, we will seriously impair our health. But, we were willing to create a habit in the first place, so we have the ability to create another 1 or change the original one.

These traits shows we are seekers of good times, able to live for the present. They also lead to adventure and following our hearts. All of these traits are usually present in people who have not adjusted their urges to parallel how they want to look and feel. They are strong qualities that can be easily used to maximize what we do with our urges for health.

WHAT RESULTS FROM OUR CURRENT ROUTINE

When we have food cravings, and we are in the habit of acting only 1 way to them, we end up causing 1 or more of the following things to happen: we gain weight; we don’t like the fact that we gained weight; we don’t like how we look; we are replacing our sad/angry/lonely/frustrated with food; we get sick as a result of not eating well resolution.

Understanding why we act on our cravings in a way that ends up unhealthy for us is not necessary in order to add a new act to our repertoire of what routine we go through when we get the food craving cue. The important thing is what we do with the cue.

Think of a band member who is playing the wrong note because she has gotten used to playing that particular note and even enjoys how it sounds. When her band leader corrects her, she will have to change her habit to balance the group. In order to keep her job and continue playing the music that she loves, she will make the change.

It’s a little different with food, although not very. The biggest difference is that we are both the band leader and the player.

So, let’s say we have just experienced 1 of the results from our eating current routine, listed above. Let’s say we have gained weight and don’t like it. The easiest way (and 1 of the only ways) to change a habit is to tweak the routine. We have to keep at the front of our mind our weight loss goal.

ACTION STEPS

It’s time to use the character traits listed above to change our habit of bolting to eat when a craving arrives.

We have established that most of us, in some ways, are attentive to cues, pleasure lovers, strong-willed, risk takers and willing to create habits. All we have to do is immediately react to our urge cue with a new action. Much in the same way we must combat our fear when being attacked, we must automatically, whether we want to or not, get up and do something new upon feeling our craving. We have the will, and we’ve automatically done something before which is what created the habit to begin with.

1) We need to act with NO THOUGHT. Our mind will trip us into thinking. When we are thinking, we are not doing. We must be doing.

2) What we will do for our craving is go to our refrigerator and get a cup of already made steamed vegetables that we cooked at the beginning of the week to have available for snacks.

3) We can add a few drops of sesame oil and a little liquid amino acid soy-sauce alternative, for flavor. If the blandness of steamed veggies is screaming out, stir-fried veggies cooked in a drop of olive oil work, too.

4) Eating with chop sticks and chewing at least 20 times per bite, preferably 45, slows the eating process.

5) Always take a container of these veggies to work or school for 2 planned snacks, am and pm. The veggies can also be used to curb a craving at any time during the day. If we find that we need 3 cups, 2 for snacks and 1 for a craving, we will have them available.

CONCLUSION

Be confident that change is possible as long as there is a start-to-finish method in place. Even if this is the first time we ever exhibited self-control, we have a specific method with a specific action step: a systematic approach. Therefore, we all will be able to take charge and maximize our health.

Maybe we won’t succeed on day one, but day two brings another opportunity. An attempt must be made each time we have a craving so that we can get our current routine to match our current goals. What’s the worst that will happen? We will eat healthy veggies for snack. In having these veggies nearby, we will create a new habit. Our success might start off slowly, but our results will be positive, with the patience we will establish.

We will find new, exciting flavors in our veggies, too. That is something to look forward to.

Make sure not to warm our veggies, even if we think there is time. This is food kung fu. Get used to cold veggies since there is no time to spare between the food craving, our cue, and our satisfaction of that craving with a healthy action.

Microwave ovens rob nutrients from our food, and stoves take longer than our craving will wait. Eventually, when we have changed our habit from “cue to instant eating” to “cue to patience to eating healthily,” warming our veggies may be an option.

And, finally, rejoice, this is a food adventure and the next chapter in our self-mastery.

FEEDBACK

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DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Moms For Healthy Daughters, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert and a dedicated mom.

She believes we can change a habit but changing our routine, as long as there is a system in place in which to do it. She says,

“We always create habits, so we are practiced at this aspect of behavior. We are also not new at changing the ways that we act. We do it all the time, based on how we feel, how we must act in social settings and how we consider others who might be affected by our actions. So, we are experienced.

“All we need do is prepare what we are going to do, smile or frown and do it. The next time, it will be easier, and the next time, even easier. Pretty soon, we will be accomplished and moderately comfortable at the new action step, so much so that it will become our new habit.

“To succeed, we must have faith in ourselves and begin!”

APPETITE CONTROL: HOW SAVING SOMEONE OTHER THAN OURSELVES CAN BALANCE OUR APPETITE (ISSUE 57)

By Diane Gold

Appetite is a tricky thing. It depends upon the interplay of hormones, insulin, activity, fatigue and our personal control.

Leptin suppresses appetite. Lack of it causes us to crave food.

Ghrelin increases appetite. A lot of it signals the brain that we are hungry.

Adiponectin signals fat-burning. If we don’t have enough, our body won’t burn fat.

If we eat too many sweets, there’s too much sugar in our blood stream which can disrupt insulin production which leads to the body’s storing fat.

There is a lot of juicy research on all this stuff, but, for now, let’s state that these hormones are very complicated. There are some side effects from using leptin and ghrelin as medicine, so far, we can’t use those whenever we have the wrong urge.

Adiponectin, aside from weakening bone cells in older people, has positive research behind it as an aid for big overweight issues.

Researchers are currently working on developing the perfect relief from gaining weight.

Here’s where saving the planet comes in.

When we get involved in a cause, a project, a special job; we find spiritual nourishment. It is like food for the body as it is food for the mind. We may get obsessed. Certainly, our minds become busy with the project, so much so that we may forget our food urges.

When we are making a difference, be it helping impoverished communities to get drinking water or helping the homeless woman who sits on the bench; we like how we feel when we give of ourselves. We like it more than our favorite snack. It is a warm, internal satisfaction that increases our productivity (and our metabolism) which reduces our craving for food.

How often have we lost weight when we fell in love, had to care for our friend’s health condition, became mothers, did fundraising for orphans? These activities required selfless action on our part, and we do it wholeheartedly without taking time out to overeat.

I’ve seen people working on behalf of others where their work has taken away the urge to overeat, the urge to smoke, the urge to drug (although there are physical side effects when we change some habits). Saving Others And Our Planet is phenomenal.

If I were building housing for abandoned cats, I would be nourishing myself through helping cats.  I can remember 1 day when one of our cats had kittens. My children and I spent every free moment tending to the kitties (mostly looking for them) as soon as Momma Cat would let us near them. We were consumed.

Then there was teaching music. I spent lots of my free time working with these emotionally and developmentally challenged kids. And through my wonderful principal’s approval, I was able to buy turntables and teach them mixing. Increasing their self-esteem made me full (which I discuss below).

I always ended up getting spiritual nourishment from their success. What an opportunity working with kids whose parents either left them or abused them. And I was involved in their strengthening themselves through mixing records and words.

Before we look at the ways to get involved, let’s look at the 3 things that change us and, ultimately, change our relationship with our appetite.

1)
FULLNESS FROM GETTING INVOLVED
It’s that feeling of joy, confidence, belonging, importance that goes along with the giving. This feeling, itself, can melt away our cravings. When we feel satisfied, whether it be from physical or mental pleasure; we feel balanced and full. It’s this fullness that we are looking for.

There is a similar but different feeling. It is a separate satisfaction that comes from stepping outside of our own world and getting involved in someone else’s. It happens when we successfully teach anything.

2)
INCREASE IN METABOLISM
When we do physical work, we fire up our metabolism. This reduces our appetite.

3)
THE SECRET: SELF-ESTEEM
There is a feeling that occurs after the fullness of joy and metabolic change. It is subtle but has everything to do with changing the habit of eating too much that is dissuaded by reduction in appetite. It is the tipping point.

The secret is that our self-esteem increases as we feel all the fullness and the good feeling from reduced appetite. We are happy to make more of an effort to succeed at our food plan when we look better in our eyes, we feel better from eating less because of the spiritual/emotional fullness and the metabolic boost and we actually are better because of the healthier way we have been living.

Self-esteem created by the first 2 factors permeates one’s essence and is the driving force in changing a habit. We want to savor this feeling when it arrives.

LEVELS OF INVOLVEMENT: WE PICK THE ACTION STEP RIGHT FOR EACH OF US

Typically there are 7 ways in which to become involved in something other than ourselves. These examples are examples and represent the depth with which we are willing to go to contribute of ourselves.

We welcome all examples in the comment section.

1) MOBILE PHONE DONATION

We can donate $10 to a charity by mobile phone should we use a major carrier. I learned today that we can even pick a specific micro-loan project and donate once.
This type of involvement doesn’t burn many calories. It does feed us spiritually, knowing we have helped. Not everyone has a spare $10. Almost everyone in the US has $1.

2) AUTOMATICALLY DONATING MONEY MONTHLY

Donating money is fantastic. It allows us to become bigger than ourselves. The fact that we are doing it regularly connects us to the cause itself.

Again, not many calories are burned, nor is there the physical workout that increases metabolism. Plus, giving money may not be an option.

3) REPAIRING 1 HOUSE AFTER A NATURAL DISASTER

Donating our time is huge. When we decide to give our precious time to others, we are giving up something big.

Fortunately, house repair requires physical work. Therefore, we will expend calories, learn something about construction and increase metabolism. This is 1 circumstance in which saving outside ourselves saves us as well.

4) REGULARLY VOLUNTEERING AT THE LITERACY PROGRAM

Giving of expertise is a wonderful thing. We pass on what we know.
The time it takes to be with someone is time away from eating. Helping someone’s lot in life feels good. However, we don’t expend many calories while we are reading, if it’s at the local library and we drive to the library. We could always opt to walk or bicycle to the library to do the volunteering. Or we could teach the lesson at the beach or on a mountain, both of which we could walk to in order to get there. Giving the skill of reading will change someone’s life forever. Walking to do it regulates our weight.

5) VOLUNTEERING FOR A WEEK TO HELP KIDS LEARN FARMING, FOOD GATHERING, BRIDGE BUILDING

1 week’s program can get us really motivated to take an active role in the particular project. 1 week might turn into 2 weeks.

6)  VOLUNTEERING FOR A MONTH TO HELP KIDS LEARN FARMING, FOOD GATHERING, OR SOME TYPE OF CONSTRUCTING STRUCTURES

A month of involvement can turn into deeper involvement. This method of caring for others takes our time, consumes our free time and helps those who are less fortunate than we.
Should we be involved to this point, our self-esteem will be full on, and our habit of overeating will be replaced by our habit of our volunteering work.

7) MAKING YEAR-ROUND PROJECT WORK A PERMANENT PART OF OUR LIVES

This type of involvement would fortify us on a permanent basis. We could even opt to work with kids who were struggling with weight as long as we could keep the snacks to veggies.

CONCLUSION

It is quite accurate that our hormones regulate our appetite, that we are born predisposed to a certain way. What is also true is that we have the ability to take action, no matter what our hormones are doing. What can happen in that case is that our own efforts can supersede and change our biology. It happens all the time. This is the process of making a change through saving someone other than ourselves.

FEEDBACK

Please leave  a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Moms For Healthy Daughters, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert and a dedicated mom.
She is motivated by motivation. She says,

“We are small beings, but we have huge power, even the power to change our own biology. If we reach out and become absorbed in creativity, productivity, love of another; we change our hormones as well as our lives and the lives of others.”

THE PEACE PROCESS: PHASE 2 (ISSUE 56)

By Diane Gold

In December 3rd’s article, The Peace Process: A Step-By-Step Formula, we talked about being able to understand conflicting views and really listening to the answers. Action steps were offered which included speaking with the 2 members of opposing geo-politico-religious sides and, by doing so, earning the trust of each.

If you haven’t seen it, go here.

OVERVIEW OF PHASE 2

After conversing with both participants on opposite sides of a brutally large conflict (PHASE 1); we, at least, have a better understanding of the passions and the tensions that run so very deep, including the history that has transpired, the way each side was brought up to think about the other, the atrocities incurred from the eyes of either side.

We may even think, as I originally did before I started having these discussions, the process might be simple, if only we would begin.  Very difficult if each sees the actions of the other as breaking the covenants of the rules of leading a reverent and noble life.

So Phase 2 has to be about creating a discussion between a neutral person and 2 participants on the same side, with 1 of those agreeing to role play a member of the opposite side: Phase 2 of the Peace Process Formula.

There’s no rush to get to this phase, and the initial discussion must take as long as it takes for trust to develop between the original participant and the neutral party. And, then again, the trust may not be 100% because we, the neutral parties, are outsiders in the eyes of the participants whose lives have been engulfed in the conflict. And it is common to hear,

“You cannot understand. You are not from there.”

Thomas L.  Friedman, former Jerusalem Bureau Chief of The New York Times and Pulitzer Prize winner, puts it this way in his Op-Ed column on December 8,

“…there is an unspoken question in the mind of virtually every [person who lives in a conflicted country] that you need to answer correctly: ‘Do you understand what neighborhood I’m living in?’ If [these country women and men] smell that you don’t, their ears will close to you.”

THE PEACE PROCESS FORMULA builds trust in the participants and the process.
I believe it is possible to help people achieve their goal of a peaceful community – even if we, the helpers, have limited knowledge of the others’ neighborhood or situation. This fact doesn’t dismiss how important the others’ situation is. It just bases its method upon our common human nature and not on our common neighborhood.

The Peace Process Formula goes for any goal. There is only 1 requirement: believe in people who honor unique situations with complicated agendas, but who believe we are similar to a precision with simple needs. It is this sameness of our humanity that allows us to supersede the objections that “we cannot be helped by strangers who do not know the neighborhood” so that this process can, inevitably, resolve conflict.  Trust and sincerity are the keys.

MOVING TOWARD OUR OBJECTIVE

If a method, program or an infrastructure is created for people to progress forward in their lives; anyone can use it with the same success.

It is not necessary for the moderator (the neutral person in this process) to have been in the struggle personally.

It is necessary for each side of a conflict to trust the moderator, mediator, arbitrator, counselor.
Often times, because the participant sees the neutral 3rd party, the moderator as “not being 1 of us,” trust is not established and the patience required to work the process is not cultivated.
For conflict resolution to occur, the Peace Process Formula must not be rushed. And each step must be followed sequentially.

PREREQUISITE KNOWLEDGE

Tensions that make geo-politico-religious conflict have taken years to develop.
These conflicts require delicate work since everyone on both sides has been offended many times.

In order to achieve peace, judgment on the part of the moderator is not part of the process. Listening and resolving are.

Trust must be acquired between the moderator and each person in the process.

PHASE 2 ROLE PLAY – THE RULES

1) 2 participants who take the same side who are willing to answer questions about the conflict in their country must be found. They should both be on the same side of a geo-politico-religious conflict.

2) 1 of the participants must be willing to play the role of the opposing view for this phase of the process.

3) Since the process will be extremely difficult, it must be established that there will be no voice raising and no disrespectful language and that a break from the discussion can be requested by asking the moderator if s/he can disengage the discussion.

4) Next, congratulate your participants for coming to the table in the first place.

ACTION STEPS

1) Participants will be asked to pretend to be a Leader for World Peace and peace for her (his) respective geographic area. This means each participant must consider the lives of everyone involved. 1 participant will be the leader for her (his) usual side. 1 participant will be a leader for her (his) usually opposing side.

2) With peace in mind, participants shall be asked to make a list of 10 changes they would like to occur to achieve that.

3) Participants shall be asked to prioritize the 10 changes.

4) Participants shall be asked to eliminate the least important 5 changes.

5) Participants will be asked to alter each change and break it down to a smaller version of itself. Make sure to do this for all 5 changes.

Here are examples:

If the 5th change on the list were to raise the community flag in a particular location every day, you might be able to change that to raising the flag 1 day a week instead to begin.

If the 5th change on the list were to acquire 5 miles of land, you might be able to change this to 1 mile of land instead.

6) The moderator will have each participant read from the top of the list: first 1 person reads change 1. Then the other person reads her (his) change 1.

7) This continues, alternating, 1, then the other, until the entire list is read.

8)  A copy of each list will be given to each participant.

9) Each participant will be given no more than 15 minutes to comment next to each item. Of course, extra time (up to 30 minutes) can be given.

10) After each participant is finished, the moderator shall collect the lists.

11) The moderator will go over rule number 3 to temper speech and words.

12) The moderator will read the responses to the items on the list out loud and ask for 5 minutes of comment on each. The replies will be timed.

13) The moderator will thank both participants and ask if they would be willing to come back again after giving the ideas some thought or some research.

CONCLUSION

The Peace Process Formula has been developed to make small changes in a safe environment. It is easy to blow up and stop the process, as world peace issues show us every day. This method has been devised, in part, to create understanding of issues of conflict for outsiders, but mostly, to start to grow roots of peace that can lead to lasting peace.

Phase 3 of the Formula will be published soon. It is powerful and hopeful and on time.
If you would like to become involved in this process, as a participant or as a moderator, please let us know or leave a comment below. Becoming involved in this process can replace many less meaningful activities, including making poor food choices. It can also build the pride and joy that comes along with being involved in something bigger than ourselves.

FEEDBACK

Please leave  a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Turning Habits Into Health, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert and a dedicated mom.
She is thrilled with The Peace Process Formula. She says,

“Small changes on a regular basis add up to medium changes and then large changes. Those of us whose duty it is to help, let’s do this. Those of us who would like to observe, we welcome it.

“Did you ever notice how there have been times when we are not correct about an outcome. It is my hope that the adversaries and the friends who use this process will grow from it, and, if so, grow the method of the process of peace that can contribute greatly to all our lives.”

THE PEACE PROCESS: A STEP-BY-STEP FORMULA TO ACHIEVE PEACE (ISSUE 55)

By Diane Gold

The peace process is a methodical, step-by-step method that needs simple, focused attention and caring patience. Since we humans can truly focus in on only 1 activity at a time (even though we are a society of multitaskers), when it comes right down to it, when we target our attention in 1 place, it cannot be in another place at that very moment.

This means if we are working actively on the peace process, we have the chance not to be concerned with our food, our overeating, overindulgence, overzealousness, anger, jealously, greed, our finances or any of the other negative things that may reduce our greatness.

In the article, Peace And Prejudice, from June 4 of this year, we talk about how looking at the sameness in human beings can lead us to harmony and tolerance. I have said many times as has Charles Duhigg in his book, The Power Of Habit, that, in order to stop manifesting an old behavior, we have to learn and act out a new one.

Think of the video store clerk of 20 years wearing jeans to work every day who gets a job in an uptown law firm where suits are required. By wearing a suit, she feels different, looks different, acts different, is a little different. After months of suit-wearing and interacting with other suits in her law firm position; the suit truly becomes her and it is difficult to remember going to work in jeans (even if that attire might be preferable).

Another example, that I do not know firsthand, is how quickly we transform from civilian to soldier. One minute, we have a no combat life. The next, we are in a war.

The dynamics of changing the way we act holds true for eating and acquiring an overweight status; being a good example as a mother as well as acting in a harmonic way in the realm of the peace process. When we focus our attention on studying, our attention is not on food. When we are listening, we are not talking.

 

When we take a shower, we are not playing tennis. When we are determined to create harmony instead of promote prejudice, we are busy being mindful of the work through which harmony may be achieved. We are doing important work and are more willing to substitute the gratitude and joy that come with peace work for satisfying a food craving. And, focused work equals fewer cravings.

 

This leads us to the step-by-step Peace Process, which is more of a listening process and not a speaking process. The idea here is to get to know the person who has been in this situation, if you have not. If you, yourself, have been in this situation as you grew up, eliminate step 1) and please ask these questions of yourself instead.

 

ACTION STEPS ARE THE PEACE PROCESS

1)
Say “YES” to being willing to be a moderator for this process.
There is no time commitment. This step just affirms that you are going to work this formula once with 1 person. We always change our minds as to what actions support the way we want to live. We are free to do so here as we see fit. This 1 “YES’ gets the process started.

2)
Find 1 person who has lived under in a location where there is or has been political or religious terrorism. This can be done face-to-face through someone we know or someone who is a click away in our social media list.

3)
Ask this individual to sit and talk by an invitation to have tea. If this is an online meeting, consider it is tea time and actually pour a cup of tea. This grounds the conversation.

4)
Remember that you want to listen and not speak, for the most part. Tell the individual you want to learn and that this is about your understanding.

5)
Ask the following 7 questions.

a.     Is it OK to ask you a little about your experience so that I can understand a little bit?

b.    How old were you when you had your first encounter with terrorism in your location?

c.    How often did you have terrorism in your location?

d.    What precautions did you have to take?

e.    How did this form you as a person?

f.    Why did you think these people wanted to hurt you?

g.     If you were given the chance to talk to someone taught to attack you, would you allow her 1 minute to speak about what she was taught?

 

h.     Say thank you for being allowed to learn. Realize that you are honored to receive the information.

 

6)
Ponder what you have heard, and give yourself time to understand it. If we rush in without consideration for those who have lived for years in strife, we ignore what is absolutely necessary to make the peace process work: other people’s realities.

I want to refer to and salute a close friend of mine who was raised around air raids and bombings. When she said I, an American civilian, couldn’t possibly understand what it was like since I hadn’t experienced it – and we love and respect each other as sisters – I realized it was my duty to learn more about her experiences and the passionate feelings that go along with someone’s having lived in harm’s way as a child and a teen where the only “I Declare War” I knew was a game we played using a pink rubber ball on a safe suburban street.

I believe that the learning process ahead of you and me is making the peace process a reality.

CONCLUSION

 

 

The conclusion here is the peace process itself, not talking about it but getting going on making it happen. Follow the simple method above and, please, pass it on.

 

 

In order for us to have peace, we must be aware of how each side in conflict feels. We can learn this information and build trust at the same time through sincerely employing the action steps above. Once each of us starts the process and sees the value of passing it on, there will be firmer ground from which we can be the bridge makers of peace. We must be consistent, understanding and kind.

                                                  LET US START NOW.

                                                  WE CAN DO THIS!

*This issue is dedicated to my father who passed 49 years ago yesterday at age 49. To Harry!*

FEEDBACK

Please leave  a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Moms For Healthy Daughters, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert and a dedicated mom.
She is concerned with tolerance and peace. She says,

“Each of us is responsible for the world’s peace. Each time we act with intolerance, we lose an opportunity to lead. Each time we take the time to understand an adversary or someone who is causing adversarial feelings or action, we lead by example. If each of us curbed an intolerance one time a day, we could develop the patience we want to teach our children and our enemies.”

3 FEELINGS THAT CAN CAUSE TEEN GIRLS TO GAIN WEIGHT PLUS UNIQUE SOLUTIONS AND FOOD TIPS FOR EACH (ISSUE 51)

By Diane Gold

We are all so similar in so many ways that it is highly phenomenal that each of us has such a unique perspective, belief system and way of being. We all feel less than balanced about something. Funny how we can be so strong in 1 area and so miserably shaky in another.

We can all understand each other’s feelings if we bother to stop being so exclusively absorbed in our own lives. Today, we will look at the similar feelings that teen girls have that make them gain weight.  We think we are the only ones who feel what we feel. This couldn’t be farther from the truth.

1)

I feel big, I don’t like it and no one else worries about this issue the way that I do. Or even if someone else is concerned, that doesn’t make me feel better.

ACTION STEP BEFORE RUNNING TO EAT

1)    Go into the privacy of your own room or in a bathroom, if you don’t have your own room. If no private bathroom, you will have to work on putting up a temporary curtain for privacy (a clothesline and a sheet will make a good one).
2)    Sit on your bed or some kind of chair.
3)    Touch your R shoulder with your L hand and your L shoulder with your R hand, so that your arms will be criss-crossed.
4)    Close your eyes.
5)    Let the palms slide all the way down with light pressure, all the way to the wrists.
6)    Realize the strength in your arms and your hands, and think of all the talents they have. Stick with me here. I have a point.
7)    Imagine you are the most popular girl in school touching her arms. She has many talents for her arms, too.
8)    Imagine you are the girl whose family lives in the street, and she is touching her arms. Again, she has performed many tasks with those arms.
9)    Now, realize that we all use our arms and hands in similar ways and that this small exercise makes us similar, not different.

This exercise is not a big revelation, but, in doing the exercise, we see, immediately, at least, 1 similarity, unlike when we see ourselves as big vs. someone who is small.

So, next time we feel big vs. small, let us stop for a moment and do this exercise to feel our power, to feel how similar we are to others and to be calm in a quiet, meditative place.

FOOD TIP

Now, have a healthy snack such as an apple or sauteed carrots with a big glass of water.

2)

No one can love me because I am big.

The first 8 words of the previous sentence are probably the most common 8 words in our mind. The 9th word, in this case, pertains to weight. But anything can be put in its place. We all, at one time or other, feel that we can’t find love because of some way we are.

We’re too short, our skin is wrong, our voice sounds squeaky, we have a mole on our face, we limp, we wear a prosthetic.
Mostly, we just feel don’t like the way we feel.
The only thing to do here is to understand that this is a universal feeling and that it’s our job to get ourselves to the next place.

ACTION STEP FOR SCHOOL BEFORE EATING

1)    Survey the students at school. (If you are home schooled, do this survey with the other home schoolers.) Tell everyone you are doing a research project for the school paper or community news. Make sure you team up with the school paper or community news, so that the editor will publish the results when you get them and help put the results into an article.
2)    Tell people you will not publish their names.
3)    Have people finish the statement,

“No one can love me because I am _____________________.”

Collect the answers, and you will see that everyone can complete the sentence in some way.

Variation 1)   Another way to collect the information is to put their answer in a fishbowl     anonymously. More people would be likely to answer if they knew there was no way their  secrets could become exposed, but that’s not always possible in every school or community.

Variation 2)   You can put this question on a website and have people comment anonymously. If you are interested in this variation, please contact us, and we will arrange to make you a  page on WarriorsOfWeight.com for this purpose.

FOOD TIP

Now, have a healthy snack such as fresh, organic romaine lettuce leaves, just washed. It’s amazing how filling they are if eaten slowly. Also, drink a glass of water.

3)

I don’t want to smile because I’m ugly, at my weight or at any weight.

Of course, we know that smiling is better than frowning. It actually makes us happier, studies have shown. And smiles bring people to us; frowns, unfortunately, push people away. So what do you say to a great exercise for smiling?

ACTION STEP BEFORE EATING

1)    Take time out in a quiet, private place, as in action step 1).
2)    Frown or keep the face devoid of a smile.
3)    Make sure you are in a safe place, sitting on a chair; and close your eyes. Work as if you will not have your sight for the first 9 steps of the exercise. Develop the sensitivity of a sightless person.
4)    Place the palms on the face, and examine the frown position, as if it is the first time you have ever felt your face. (It might be the first.)
5)    Take as much time as needed without opening the eyes.
6)    When ready, turn the frown to a smile with eyes closed.
7)    Notice the differences in the structure of the face.
8)    Notice how we take our sight for granted, and be happy about having yours. I’m grateful for mine.
9)    Doesn’t the smile make you laugh when you feel the face breaking into a smile? It does make me laugh. It is quite fascinating how the entire face changes under the skin from such a thing as a smile.

10)  Relax and smile with eyes open.
We are much more beautiful when we smile. I, personally, look a good 10 years older when I don’t smile. And, when I do, I’m all teeth. But the happiness is in the smile.

Smiling feels good if we hold our face, too, as we just experienced. Have fun working your smile. It can get you through some tough times.

FOOD TIP

Now, for fun, go get a snack food, preferably something solid, like an apple. Smile while eating it and feel your face at the same time. This will slow down the eating process, always a good thing. It’s also more challenging to keep the food in your mouth if you eat with a smile, tempering the eating process.

CONCLUSION

Imagine you love a very large person. You aren’t loving the person because s/he is large or small. You may love her bigness or smallness. You aren’t loving her because she has brown eyes, although you may appreciate the brown eyes. You are not loving her because she has brown hair. These physical traits have nothing to do with why you love her. These traits may make her easy to look at, but trait appeal is not love, not at all.

In the same way, when someone loves you, and someone definitely does, it is not because of your size, your eyes, your hair; it is because you are who you are.

It’s easy for us to see that when we lose someone, we all feel the same pain, the same feeling. Likewise, we figure that feeling sick or breaking an arm feels the same whether we are large or small. But when we feel bad about ourselves, it’s hard to realize that we all have similar feelings, more or less, at 1 time or other, in our lives.

It sometimes helps to find inventive ways of extending the universal understanding that we all have similar feelings and are not alone.

Small action steps to these feelings make HUGE differences. Especially if they are repeated. Give the action steps a go, and enjoy the journey.

We are with you, have been where you are and are here when you reach out.

WarriorsofWeight Consulting
Click the image below for a helping hand.

If you need a hand, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Help is right here.

FEEDBACK

Please leave  a comment and LIKE.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Moms For Healthy Daughters, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert and a dedicated mom.
She moves along observing behavior, continually seeing the similar ways we act, feel and are. She says,

“It is truly helpful when we know we are like each other. Of course, there is the other side of some of us that enjoys being unique. But when feeling bad, we want to know that people understand us, that we are not freaks, that others are going through the same thing and that we can get through it.

“When there is a hurricane, we stand together united. We make each other feel better, we share electricity, ice, food and bandages. We are thrown together in union when there is a weather disaster. We must take the time to unite in what matters to each to us throughout our lives: our peace of mind and peace of homeland.

“Ï believe that anyone reading this is living in the generation that will learn this compassion through the need to learn it.

“Let us learn to enjoy our sameness, learn to love our uniqueness and, through understanding, learn the principles of peace and helping each other along the way.”

For help, check out 1-Step Consulting.

LOVE YOURSELF, THE INTERVIEW, WITH SABRINA BARNETT AND HER EMPOWERMENT CLOTHING FOR WOMEN (Issue 37)

By Diane Gold

Sabrina Barnett, best known for being a high fashion model, a musician and philanthropist, is an evangelist for women’s self-esteem and has designed women’s empowerment clothing for that purpose. This article is based on our interview. (Check out Sabrina’s T-shirt coupon, too.)

Sabrina begins by talking about her “slow progression” from model to designer.

Sabrina
I realized that there [were] a lot of models that are getting paid a lot of money, that don’t really feel good about themselves [or] feel comfortable in their own skin. And I thought to myself, well after all these years of modeling, if there [are] women that are getting paid money for the way that they look that aren’t feeling good about the way that they look, I can’t even imagine what it would be like in the population at large. And, so when I started really doing some research, I realized that it’s a real problem for us, our self-esteem, our self-worth and our self-image.

I’ve been very blessed to work with some of the best designers. And, so, I’ve sort of taken that information from colors and fabrics, and the look of things.
And then understanding, wow, we’ve got a real problem with self-esteem issues with women, no matter whether they are professional models or  whether they are what society says is not attractive, which is really the reason why I decided to come up with this empowerment line for women.

 

Diane
One of the things I saw in your line was that your sizes went up to triple X. I immediately appreciated that.

Sabrina
The most important thing in life is to embrace ourselves for who we are and what we represent. And, that really has very little to do with the way that you look. And, I know society puts such a huge importance on it. And, when I was modeling, I always said, somehow I want to give back to women. And, I thought it was going to be in a self-help book of behind the scenes modeling, to show them that there’s so many …
… gorgeous pictures that you see – there’s a makeup artist that works on you an hour, a hairdresser that works on you an hour, best photographers, best assistants, best lighting. They take five hundred pictures, if not more. So, it’s really an illusion.

And, yes, these women are absolutely gorgeous, but so are you.

Diane Narrative
After all her years in front of the camera, Sabrina  has become a great photographer, too. She took many incredible photos of me.

Sabrina
The T-shirt collection is an empowering collection because instead of having skull and bones, or instead of having nothing on a [T-]shirt, I have certain messages such as, ‘I am worthy, I admire kind people, I‘m a soulful spirit, ‘I am powerful.’ Beautiful messages that are very short, that are very to the point, and anybody that reads you can read your inner beauty, your inner expressions.

 

So, that’s why it’s clothing with a purpose. But, more importantly with the sizing, we start out small, medium, and instead of calling a woman large…we say ‘love.’

… We say, small, medium, love, extra love, double love, and yes, ladies, we have triple love!

…For all those women who have been called triple large, we say triple love. And it’s just love yourself. It’s such an important message. And, that is really the message that goes into your other question.

Diane Narrative
I had asked Sabrina if she had the power, how she would have girls think about themselves.

Sabrina
The most important thing I would tell … everybody that I can out there – and I do on a daily basis and every shirt that gets shipped is another reminder of loving yourself – learn to love yourself for who you are right now, because now is all we have and this ain’t no dress rehearsal. This is life.

And, every moment counts. We’ve got to make every moment count. So really, the clothing line is a reminder. The T-shirt collection, they’re called Lovable Tees. I’m the designer, Sabrina Barnett. But, the bottom line is, loveable tees, loving sizes, lovable collection, love yourself.

Diane
I love the love, double love, extra love.

Sabrina
Well … how dare people call us large? And, great, let’s embrace the fact that we’re large! … And, I want to tell all of you ladies out there that you are fabulous! You’re amazing. You’re wonderful. And once you know that, once you own your greatness, which is the name of another shirt. It’s just simply, ‘own your greatness’…

Diane
I love it.

INNER VOICE
Sabrina
…and on the back it says, ‘Never let other people bring you down.’ Now, other people can mean us. We’re sometimes our worst critic. That inner voice that we have in our heads….
It’s vicious! It could be so mean and so nasty.

So, how are we going to learn to love ourselves unless we can check our inner voice on a moment to moment basis? And, sometimes it’s hard to do, but once you start getting used to it, it really alters and shifts your life. So, the Lovable Collection can really help create that space for people out there.

Diane Narrative
If we don’t change the inside, it’s hard to change the outside. Yet, if we start to change the outside, we WILL change the inside.

It’s the “fake it to make it” scenario, which is practice it to be it. We must pretend to believe in ourselves enough to move, exercise, dance, which, in turn, will make us feel better about ourselves, all of which will reduce weight. Putting on awesome clothing is one way to start the process.

<<<Remember to check out Sabrina’s T-Shirt Collection. Make sure to use code sb10 at checkout.>>>

THE RIGHT WEIGHT IS THE RIGHT WAY
Diane Narrative
I had asked Sabrina to comment on the right weight.

Sabrina
There’s no such thing as right. The right weight is the right way. You are the right weight if you know the right way to following your heart and owning your beauty.

THE RIGHT STATE OF MIND
Sabrina
You’ve got to eat right, you’ve got to exercise, and you have to be in a right state of mind to create that. Because, if you’re feeling down about yourself, then you’re not going to want to exercise. … The only reason I say to lose weight … [is] for health.… I am an advocate for weight loss due to the fact that I feel that it’s a healthier space for us all to live in.…

CHEMICALS ON LABELS
Please don’t drink soda … If you can’t read the ingredient on the label, then it shouldn’t go in your body.

INNER CHI
… When you can create and find that balance, then you’ve found your inner ‘chi,’ your inner peace.… It’s the same thing with your diet.

CLOTHING TIPS
Diane
When girls are overweight, what one clothing tip could you give, or dressing technique, that would make them look more curvy and less thick, or bottom line, make them love themselves more?

Sabrina
There you go. Now you’re talking my talk. I’m tired of the more curvy, the less curvy, the waif look, the this, the that, the other. I’ve seen it for years. And, I’ve seen the dysfunction.

… If you want me to answer your question more specifically, I think black is always flattering. Black hides a multitude of whatever it is that you’re not feeling comfortable with. And, the bottom line is, I want you to feel comfortable.

So, you know, a belted tee, like a Lovable Tee with a great message – It’s all about reminders. We must remind ourselves. This is not what society has taught us. This is not what school has taught us, or the media has taught us. [We need] just to love ourselves for who we are right now, because that’s the only way that we’re going to create inner peace. And, that’s the only way that we’re going to shift the way that we are, if, in fact, we want to shift the way that we are right now.

We’ve got to accept ourselves because love is acceptance. So, black is always flattering … we’ve got some Palazzo pants in our collection that look very classy. They’re edgy. They’re stylish. And, again, they’re not too form fitting so if you want to have something that’s a little bit more comfortable, a little bit looser, that’s really what I would recommend, just off hand, right now.

Diane
What would you say to girls who are struggling with too much weight, when they see a slender figure … they see models who look like they’re totally happy … and they don’t see the inner heart of these models?

NAME CALLING LASTS FOREVER
Sabrina
They don’t see the inner workings of a lot of these models. … I was one of them that struggled with self-esteem issues.… I was called ‘brownie’ as a kid because my skin is very brown, my hair is brown, my eyes are brown. So, you know, again, one person can say something to you when you’re a little kid and that can stay with you for the rest of your life. And really, you allow it to tarnish yourself.

… you put on a T-shirt, a Lovable Tee that says, ‘I am worthy,’ ‘I’m the star in my life and love’s got my back.’ Well, love’s got my back because I have to know that I’m worthy. And I’m not talking from an egotistical standpoint. I’m simply talking, you know what? Own who you are because the sexiest thing on the planet is not what you look like; it’s how you feel.

Diane
… And being able to shine, and let that shine out and let everybody see.…

Sabrina
That’s exactly right.

CHARITY
Diane
Can you talk about your beliefs in charity? Who should give and how much should people give?

Sabrina
Okay. So, again, I hope you’re understanding a little bit from me. I tried not to live in the box of who should. The word ‘should,’ ‘would’ or ‘could’ for me is like a little bit …  controlling. Like you should do this. You should do that.

So, I would say … I love giving for the simple fact of giving. Sometimes people put such an importance on the financial aspect of charity, as opposed to what about all these people that have dedicated so much time, so many hours of their lives, which time is the most important thing. It’s something you can never get back, right? Money, you can lose, you can get back, but time you can never get back. And, sometimes people lose the sight of, ‘Oh, charity. I just donated whatever amount of money to such and such a charity.’

Well, what about donating of your heart, of your time, of yourself, of your essence of gorgeousness? What about saying, you know what? Let me give for my energy. It’s vital to one’s well-being. For me, I feel great when I can give … We’re always busy … That’s life, right? … But we create and make time for what we want to do.

Diane
Yes….

Sabrina
One of the things I’m asking your audience to do is create time to be charitable, to give back … And, if you don’t have a dollar to do so, then maybe you may want to think about giving back of your energy, like hopefully something that you and I are doing inside this conversation might help somebody in some way.

Diane Narrative
(Watch WarriorsOfWeight.com magazine for the feature: Charity for Weight Loss.)

Sabrina’s Mission can be summed up as follows:

“To be a good mother, … a great friend, … to give back and to teach people or remind people to love themselves … It’s really the only path towards true joy. If you love yourself, you can love another.”

There are lots of one-step action steps. They are simple if we allow them to be.

1)    Love ourselves.
If we are struggling with this concept, it takes small, consistent steps to achieve it. Even a smile at ourselves in the mirror can make a difference if we do it often enough.

2)    We’ve got to make every moment count.
Choosing to let go of the meaningless fights in our lives or our own minds gives us more time to flourish, share and give.

3)    Embrace our weight today.
Whatever we weigh today, we should embrace it. If our bodies or minds are some way that we would prefer to change, we must embrace who we are now so that we have the vitality and motivation to create the change.

4)    Own our greatness.
Be sure and secure of how great we are. We can all think of one great thing we bring to this world. Even if this ownership is practicing to make it our truth; the sooner we start, the more experienced we will be.

5)    Check our inner voice (possibly our worst critic) on a moment to moment basis.
We need to have conversations with ourselves regularly and purge old limiting goop we might tell ourselves.

6)    Wear black, which is always flattering (and don’t drink soda).

7)    Be charitable with our own energy.
We can always help someone less fortunate than we. It’s also a great way to focus away from ourselves.

CONCLUSION

When we love ourselves, we are more useful to the world, our families and our community. It might take some time to realize our position. But there are inspirational people such as Sabrina Barnett out there, so there is hope and help.

We can put on empowerment clothing and feel better instantly. We can help someone else and feel better, too. We might have to dig deeply for it, but we can find the good that others see in us. We are worthy, and we are worth it. Start now. And go get a T-shirt from Sabrina at http://warriorsofweight.com/sabrina.

FEEDBACK

Please leave a comment below and LIKE this page. And, when you’re on Facebook, go to http://facebook.com/warriorsofweight and click LIKE. We’re working on the page and would appreciate comments.

SABRINA BARNETT

Sabrina Barnett is a world renowned super model who has been on runways and magazine covers the world over. She is a talented singer, recording artist and clothing designer who is passionate about helping women and their self-esteem. Her Women’s Empowerment Clothing uses positive affirming statements to promote self-love.

DIANE GOLD, AUTHOR

Diane Gold, Founder of Warriors of Weight, Moms For Healthy Daughters, is a mentor in tai chi, kung fu and meditation, a music, fitness and stress expert and a dedicated mom.
She is thrilled to team up with others who believe in believing in yourself. Diane says,

“Every time we think a good thought about ourselves, it goes into a little vault for safekeeping. Eventually, when the vault is full, it results in overflowing joy.!”

What if writing down 3 words that describe YOUR IDEAL YOU helps you become your ideal?

Submit Your 3 Words To Win EXERCISE OF THE WEEK,
the upcoming book.

1. words help us progress
2. positive words build positive self-image
3. focusing on a character trait can help us be it
4. creating these words strengthens the mind
5. positive words give us hope
6. how easy is it to find 3 adjectives we would like to be
7. it’s great focus training

DO IT NOW BEFORE YOU FORGET.

It can help you be your best!

All Those Who Submit Are Entered Into Drawing
To Win EXERCISE OF THE WEEK.

This 3-word concept is based on a technique in Brendon Burchard’s book, The Charge. These 3 words are the best descriptors for your ideal you.

Let these words guide you to elevating toward and becoming your goal.

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Homeless – How We Can Help

by Diane Gold on April 5, 2016.

Today’s issue focuses on being homeless and how we truly don’t think about situations until we are in them.

Also in this issue….

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The Secret Of Habit Change Is To Step

by Diane Gold on December 9, 2014.

Our main essay talks about the secret of habit change, which is to step, make that move, do.

Also in this issue….

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Think Life Sucks? 10 Things That May Not

by Diane Gold on November 4, 2014.

Our main essay talks about 10 things that may not suck in the life of someone who thinks life sucks.

Also in this issue….

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Recognizing 9 Early Warning Signs Of Depression

by Diane Gold on September 2, 2014.

Our main essay talks about recognizing depression and how we each can be aware if the signs in ourselves or others.

Also in this issue….

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Inflated Ego At The Expense Of Others

by Diane Gold on August 12, 2014.

Our main essay talks about how, sometimes, our inflated ego can be cruel in order to cover up our own insecurities.

Also in this issue….

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When We Delay Gratification…

by Diane Gold on June 10, 2014.

Our main essay is about the process of delaying gratification, how it’s done, when we might decide to do it and what it builds in our foundation.

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The Habit Of An Eye For An Eye: Changing The Penal System For Non-Violent Crimes

by Diane Gold on May 13, 2014.

Our main essay talks about the concept of an eye for an eye and some action steps to change the penal system for non-violent offenders.

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Move Over Botox, Exercise To Rejuvenate Skin

by Diane Gold on Apr. 22, 2014.

Our main essay is about how exercise can rejuvenate the skin. It includes comment about injectable face fillers.

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The Real Scoop On The Health Care Law!

by Diane Gold on Feb. 18, 2014.

Our main essay talks about the health care law and how it may cause people to work less as W-2 employees.

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The Number One Method For Habit Change

by Diane Gold on Feb. 11, 2014.

Our essay delivers the simplest, universal formula for how to change a habit. This was inspired by my talk at the Women Referring Women luncheon.

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The Habit Of Forgiveness: How To Forgive Even When It Seems Impossible

by Diane Gold on Dec. 24, 2013.

This week, our main essay talks about developing the habit of forgiveness and how to go about it even when it seems impossible.

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Best Ab Exercise In 30 Seconds Or Less

by Diane Gold on Dec. 10, 2013.

This week, our main essay is a less than one minute exercise, in itself, along with an explanation about how to avoid injury during training.

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Are You An Enabler, Codependent On A User?

by Diane Gold on Nov. 26, 2013.

This week, our main essay talks about being an enabler, someone so wrapped up in a user’s behavior, it’s bad news for both people.

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Habitual Behavior Develops Valuable Skills

by Diane Gold on Nov. 19, 2013.

This week, our main essay talks about how, through learning how to maintain our habitual behavior, we develop very valuable skills that are beneficial to us and to the world.
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Social Influence, Habit Change And What’s Missing!

by Diane Gold on Oct. 7, 2013.

This week, we bring you our main essay about groups that influence habit change and what’s missing from many of them.

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The 5 Biggest Mistakes Of Habit Change

by Diane Gold on Sept. 23, 2013.

This week, we bring you THE mistakes of habit change that seem universal to humans. From these come the commandments to change a habit.

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Our Path To Happiness: Do Our Genes Know Before We Do?

by Diane Gold on Aug. 26, 2013.

This week, our main article focuses on how the significance of how we achieve happiness is detected and processed by our genes to our benefit or our detriment.

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Habit Masters; We Are

by Diane Gold on Aug. 12, 2013.

This week, our main article focuses on the idea that we are habit masters from all the training we have given ourselves with various life behaviors. There are 12 proposed action steps.

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Are You Liberated? And What That Means For Habit Change

by Diane Gold on July 29, 2013.

This week, our main article talks about personal liberation and what it means for habit change. There are 10 action steps.

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Habits In Medical Care, Part Two: Pay That Bill!

by Diane Gold on June 24, 2013.

This week, our main article focuses on habits in medical care: autopaying our bills.

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The Biggest Habit, The Inflexible Mind: 3 Scenarios

by Diane Gold on June 17, 2013.

This week, our main article focuses on THE habit of the mind: inflexibility and three scenarios to recognize.

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Why Change A Habit? Your Legacy Awaits

by Diane Gold on May 27, 2013.

This week, our main article focuses on why to change a habit and how that ties to our legacy.

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Education And Parenting: How To Build Good Habits

by Diane Gold on May 13, 2013.

This week, our main article focuses on education and parenting, dedicated to all of us who have nurtured someone or something in this life.

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The Grade Game: Successful Habits In Education

by Diane Gold on May 6, 2013.

This week, our main article focuses on using grades to measure success in education.

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Guru, Master & Mentor: Are You In The Habit Of Verifying The Title?

by Diane Gold on Apr. 29, 2013.

This week, our main article focuses on the use of the words “guru, master and mentor.”

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The Peace Process Formula: Phase 3

by Diane Gold on Apr. 15, 2013.

This week, our main article focuses on the peace process formula. It is the third installment in the series.

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Women As Slaves: How To Change This Habit

by Diane Gold on Apr. 8, 2013.

This week, our main article focuses on women as slaves and how we change this habit.

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What Martial Art … Helps Change A Habit?

by Diane Gold on Apr. 1, 2013.

This week, our main article focuses on tai chi and how tai chi principle can help change a habit.

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Martial Arts Of The Mind

by Diane Gold on Mar. 25, 2013.

This week, our main article is about martial arts of the mind. This article transpired as a discussion for a kung fu student who needed to understand that the physical exercises are the tools for the accomplishments of the mind. This article is a reminder of that truth.

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The Gender Issue

by Diane Gold on Mar. 4, 2013.

This week, our main article talks about the gender issue as it relates to women.

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Peace Needs A Bridge: How To Build It And Keep It Open

by Diane Gold on Feb. 25, 2013.

This week, our main article talks about the fact that Peace needs a bridge in order to make it real.

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Food Cravings: How To Maximize Them For Our Good Health

by Diane Gold on Jan. 7, 2012.

First issue in 2013, and we are raring to go!

This week’s article talks about maximizing our food cravings so that we can be healthier.

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Appetite Control: How Saving Someone Other Than Ourselves Balances Appetite

by Diane Gold on Dec. 17, 2012.

This week’s article talks about the appetite and how saving someone other than ourselves can balance our appetite.

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The Peace Process: A Step-By-Step Formula To Achieve Peace And Replace Overeating At The Same Time

by Diane Gold on Dec. 3, 2012.

Our main article offers a strategy for the peace process whose doing can reduce one’s weight by the very focus of the activity.

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3 Feelings That Can Cause Teen Girls Weight Gain Plus Unique Solutions And Food Tips For Each

by Diane Gold on October 29, 2012.

This week’s main article discusses 3 feelings that cause teen girls to weight gain including solutions in the form of action steps and food tips for each.

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